Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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mavericksmom - the massage therapist that I’m seeing is a medical massage therapist. She runs her own clinic. My REIKI therapist was familiar with her and suggested that I see her about my breast implant pain. I had my exchange surgery in March of this year and did several months of PT on my shoulder to alleviate muscle pain that I had. I felt like I gave my incision lots of time to sufficiently heal. Her work is very gentle, working along my scars, shoulders, neck. Her focus area is the fascia - which is the connective tissue beneath the skin. I only plan on seeing her once a month, as it’s expensive and not covered by insurance. Maybe your PT clinic or PS can refer you to someone who specializes is post-mastectomy issues.
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Carole, we have a celebrity in our midst! I'm not a romance novel fan (nor a fan of the fantasy subgenre of science fiction, of which several of my friends have written novels). I'm in awe of those with the discipline & perseverance to write a book. I started a blog, "Being Upfront," in my Mac "ecosystem's" Notes app, the week in 2015 when I got my first report of an anomaly in my mammogram; but it sort of petered out after a few months before I could do anything with it. Still have it, though. Hope your DH can get some quality sleep & relief.
Judy, I'd used airport wheelchairs for years, especially when I was still fat and my knees--the ones I was born with--were in extremely rough shape and I couldn't endure the long walks (especially to Border Control) while toting carryons. But what freed me from that (after my TKRs healed) were four-wheel spinners: cane in one hand, spinner in the other was like a super-smooth wheeled walker on tile or concrete floors. Eventually I was able to pack a collapsible cane in my carry-on spinner. I can even roll two checked spinners back-to-back at my side. (It's not fun on carpet, where I have to schlep them behind me).
Our HK's DH is being obstinate about his dialysis, deciding at the last minute he didn't feel like getting dressed. Unfortunately, he's so dehydrated that he has lost the ability to detect when he needs to move his bowels ("passive fecal incontinence") and she has to clean up when he soils himself, a nightly occurrence. The fact that she has had two four-day weekends in a row (4-1/2, if you count her having to leave suddenly when he or their neighbors call) doesn't translate to much of a holiday for her. Today, to get some air (and a bit of distraction), she decided to go to her church to help dismantle the Christmas decorations. But when she pulled up, there were several police cars: the deacon's old Ford pickup, parked right in front, had just had its catalytic converter stolen. Had she gotten there a few minutes earlier, she might have challenged them and even been shot. Her DH told her to accept the invitation to our dinner tomorrow night--and she says she will, even if she doesn't stay at our house till midnight. While he was to be in dialysis today, they were supposed to set up admission to the VA's inpatient physical rehab to improve muscle tone & circulation (perhaps implant a stimulator)...but as I said, he refused to go to dialysis.
And we have a smaller but annoying problem. When Bob has an early morning at his hospitals down south in Oak Lawn, he stays the night before at the Oak Lawn Hilton--especially when weather is too treacherous for him to drive back home. So he made reservations for Thurs 12/22, Fri. 12/23, and Mon. 12/26. The first two reservations went off w/o a hitch, snowstorm & deep freeze notwithstanding. But when he arrived at the hotel Monday night, the lobby was jam-packed with irate Southwest Airlines passengers (many families with screaming children) and their luggage, angry that their gov't-mandated rooms weren't ready (because half the cleaning staff called in "marooned"). He and the person in front of him both informed the roving hotel clerks that they had confirmed reservations--to which the clerks replied "Get out--go away before we call security!" He couldn't even get to the desk to check in, and the clerk refused to even take his name. At least he was able to get into the restaurant--from where he tried futilely to phone HiltonHonors and the front desk--he couldn't get past busy signals. He drove home, called the customer service number on his HH Amex card to ask whether he was charged for the room as a no-show.
Tonight he found out from Amex the hotel had indeed charged him, even though they'd prevented him from trying to check in. (His restaurant receipt proves that he was in the building). Amex said it would cancel the charge, but he needed to "call the provider." So he got someone in a Hilton foreign call center who hadn't heard of the SW debacle (and probably hadn't heard of SW Airlines either). The agent did speak to the front desk (they wouldn't put Bob through) and said they were "opening a case" and he'll hear back "within 48-72 business hours," which means no sooner than next Thurs.!
At least my car got a clean bill of health (and a bath to remove the salt & schmutz).
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The last time I was reading your posts I heard a strange noise from the living room and found my DH dead on the couch with the remote in his hand. I called 911 and started CPR, but he was gone. He had CHF and his heart just stopped. He died peacefully and did not suffer. I probably won't post for a while, but I will read yours.
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Petite, so sorry to see this. All my prayers.
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Dear petite - I am so sorry to hear about your DH passing. My condolences to you and your family.
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Petite, you lived my greatest fear. I'm so sorry. I will be thinking about you.
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petite, I too live that fear everyday! I can’t begin to tell the number of times my DHu falls asleep on the recliner, remote in hand and I watch to make sure he is breathing! One of the reasons I am retiring ASAP.
I simply cannot imagine what you are going through!!! I pray you have family and friends nearby to help you. Passing peacefully is what all of us hope for and I am so thankful that was the case for your DH!
No hurry to come back and post as we all understand!!!! Everyone here will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers! You are definitely being virtually hugged by all of us!!!
Sooo much love going out to you in your time of grief!!!! We all love you
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Petite, Condolences. What a shock that must have been. We are all sending love to surround you. I also hope you have people you can trust nearby and they can help you through this time. It's comforting to know he didn't suffer at the end. Post when you feel ready and remember you're surrendered by love.
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Dear petite1: I am so sorry to hear of your DH's passing. My sincerest condolences and may his memory be a blessing to you. I am sending ((HUGS)) to you and hope you have others to help you through this time. You are a valued member of this forum so your presence will be missed for as long as you need to grieve but we will welcome you back with open arms when you are ready to return.
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Given all that has happened in 2022 to members of this forum, the bad and the good will disappear at midnight and we will start with a clean slate for 2023. I am hoping we all have a new year with new challenges that we can deal with, hope for a future with less strife, love from those we care about and for those new friends we make, peace to get us through unpleasant moments, and joy in those moments that take our breath away. Hope springs eternal and I have such hope for 2023. I know we all make intentions for a new year and I offer that maybe we should consider a year that is somewhat selfish in that we focus on taking good care of ourselves. Perhaps even making ourselves first for a change. Most don't come to fruition because they are either radical changes or unachievable (like I'd like to be the weight I was when I married, LOL) but if we take baby steps we can make minor changes that bring us close to our intentions. So I wish all of you a very Happy New Year for 2023.
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Petite, my sympathy to you. I too hope you have someone around you to give support. You’ve had so much happen in a short period of time. BIG HUGS and a shoulder to cry on
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"Let our New Year's resolution be this: We will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word."
-- Goran Persson0 -
Petite, I as well just cannot imagine. Also, very glad there wasn't suffering involved. Such a year but lots of someone's here every day cared and that won't stop. Hope is eternal and I hope for the time for you to be able to smile for memory of the good times is not over-long, and for all the anguish to fade. I do believe in omens, and I looked up while typing and saw a beautiful deer standing right by my window. Tall window and I could have touched it had the window been open. Sending you love and care.
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Petite I am so terribly sorry. My prayers are with you. There really aren't adequate words in this situation. Take the time you need and know you are not alone.
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Petite - you are in my thoughts.
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((((((petite)))))))
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Normal night last night as I went to bed at the same time as is my usual -- around 10:30 p.m. I didn't even think of the coming morning but know I'll have to concentrate now for a bit to put the right date on checks, etc. It has also been the usual kind of morning with two of our cats going in and out. They start sometimes before it is light outside wanting to go out. We make them wait since big owls, and other things might be out who would be less inclined in full daylight.
Nothing special planned -- just another quiet day of keeping positive thoughts in mind for my household and everyone else's. I hope we all have a smooth transition into this next I hope, wonderful year. I am still here so I'll do my best to make the most of it. Sending love, care and peace to all. Happy New Years. Excuse me now while I go let in the cat. grrrr.
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I too want to start the New Year on a positive note! Of course, petite is in our hearts and foremost on our minds.
illinoislady's advice of "positive thoughts" is a great way to live life! Part of what I like about this group of women is that all of you understand what is really important in life!
While there is nothing to measure the pain we feel after losing someone we love, I can't help but think that the pain speaks volumes for the person who left the huge void in our life. Only people who were loved cause others to grieve. They say that a person should leave the world a better place because they lived, leaving behind people who grieve reveals that the person who left this world did indeed leave footprints and the world a better place!
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Oh, Petite, so sorry about your DH's sudden passing--as you mentioned, because of his CHF he didn't suffer. May his memory be for a blessing and may 2023 bring you comfort, and the memories conquer the tears.
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Such sad news from Petite. Holding you close.
Also encouraged by several positive messages for the new year. I will try to keep them in mind but must admit that recently the new year has made me think "what can happen now"/
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Taco, I never ask that any more: I can just hear God replying, "oh, yeah? Hold my beer."
Happy has been running me ragged: he threw up on the "substitute" ratty feather-leaking twin comforter (I didn't want him to ruin the new one yet--the really good one I usually use is in the hamper because he puked on it Friday), a sham (covering a crummy pillow we use only for decor anyway), and a little corner of the king-size comforter Bob uses (and I sleep atop). It was dried up, so he probably urped up overnight but we never noticed till this evening. Lysol wipes (per my HK's advice) and paper towels cleaned it, but into the wash it'll go tomorrow nonetheless. And because it was 5 min. past feeding time for his 11pm meal, he got a hunger pang and puked again--but I stuck a used paper plate under his mouth to catch it (it was mostly water). I wish there were nursing homes for elderly cats. As long as he loves to eat (and does he ever!) and snuggle, I won't even consider putting him down. But I will ask the vet if there's anything stronger she can prescribe to settle his stomach. He's getting 1/4mg. prednisolone every other day, and a daily probiotic. Maybe I'll double up on the probiotic.
And now for the pièce de resistance: one of my dinner & party guests called tonight to tell me her DH tested positive today. They'd been testing all week despite having no symptoms because they thought they might have been exposed (and tested negative before setting out last night). He awoke today with a 101F temp and tested positive way before the timer rang; she feels fine but still re-tested (still negative), and will do so every 36 hrs. unless she gets symptoms, in which case it'd be a foregone conclusion and she'll ask for Paxlovid. She had her bivalent booster in late Oct., but he hasn't had his yet. (Judy, you're safe--the two of them arrived after you left). I have a test kit that's about to expire, and though asymptomatic, I tested anyway. (Waste not, want not--my parents grew up during the Depression). Negative.
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Sandy, so sorry to read about your cat and party guest's DH! At this point, all you can do is test and hope you don't come down with it.
I am up early due to heater issues. We used to have oil heat and rarely had heater issues. We needed a new heater in 2016 and my DH wanted to switch to propane, which burns cleaner, and it has been nothing but problems the entire time we had it! UGH! At least we have a maintenance program. It starts when we push the button and the temperature won't go into freezing mode until later in the week, so we can call today and ask them to come out tomorrow to look at it. It isn't an emergency and hopefully won't become one, so all is good.
We took the tree down yesterday, and I packed up 2/3 of the decorations. I will finish today and dust and vacuum so all will be clean and fresh starting the work week. I am looking forward to the Rose Parade and Rose Bowl as we are huge PSU fans. So far, our DS and family are having fun, but their youngest who is four isn't always being agreeable. She is what I call " a little attitude on legs!" LOL
The count down is on! Only six more weeks of work and I am soooo glad! I have had enough, although heater issues do make me a little nervous about the cut in income. Still, those things are to be expected at some point in retirement. It is a big change in life, but hopefully the adjustment will not be difficult. I am thankful for good health insurance!
Hope this year is better than the past few for everyone here!
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The year isn't starting off on a positive note for us. DH has been running fever and had a couple of episodes of hard chills. He tested negative for Covid this morning. I suspect either flu or return of UTI. We will try to see someone at his PCP's today.
He did sleep last night and is feeling a little better this morning. The food I bought to cook for a traditional New Year's day meal is uncooked.
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Oh Carole, I am so sorry to hear this! Hopefully someone will be on call today. Of course it is a holiday due to NY's day being on a Sunday! Ugh!
Let's re-start the year!
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One does not need to fast for days and meditate for hours at a time to experience the sense of sublime mystery which constantly envelops us All one need do is to notice intelligently, if even for a brief moment, a blossoming tree, a forest flooded with autumn colors, an infant smiling.
Simon Greenberg
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Had our traditional New Year's dinner yesterday: roast pork, oven roasted potatoes and green bean casserole. DD and DSIL were here to help us eat it. We watched Mrs. Brown's Boys New Years show and laughed until we cried. We had watched the Christmas one on Christmas and it was equally as funny if you enjoy Irish/British ribald humor. DD brought a prepackaged short rib Italian meal that we cooked for use today. It was packaged in a sealed bag for roasting and included the sauce for the pasta. We did not cook the pasta yet but the meat smelled delicious while roasting. I can remember when they used to literally give short ribs away and now they are so expensive, but one of my favorites, so a real treat to have tonight.
We stopped going out on New Year's for our annual traditional dinner in 2020 and it was the last due to not only Covid, but disappointment in how the dinner at this venue had declined over the years. After many years of going there, the celebratory aspects had declined with no more "on the house" champagne toast, no more tiaras or hats and noisemakers, decline in menu from special to what became lackluster at the very end, the pianist was long gone, etc. So it just became an expensive meal with no "bang". So I raided the freezer and found forgotten lobster tails and served them with baked potatoes and brussel sprouts. It was much better and we did not have to dress up. The local country club always has a fireworks display that we can see from out patio but it was pouring rain so we missed it this year. Heard the noise just did not witness the spectacle. Regan, fortunately, is not reactive to the fireworks or the fire crackers set off by neighbors. Lita used to hide behind the sofa.
So a quiet start to our New Year and next week we leave on our long delayed cruise of South America and Antarctica. It has been twice delayed so we are looking forward to the trip and a chance to travel again. We will mask in any crowd settings, requested a private table for dining rather than share, and hope we can remain safe. The ship has strict protocols in place so hopefully they will continue to be diligent.
Sandy, sorry to hear about Happy's health issues. petite1: I am sending love and hugs to you knowing you are lurking. I feel I got to know about your DH from your posted messages; he will be missed.
I have not made resolutions because I find that they are usually too large in scope, so I will work on identifying "baby steps" that I will use to make small changes in my lifestyle. Hope all of you had a wonderful New Years and a good start to 2023.
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I am getting ready to go to the hardware store. Went there yesterday, but, duh, they were closed. Came home and played around with the new lights for the bike and realized that I need to get zip ties for them. I want some gold, silver, and blue spray paint for my milkweed pods. Still have to pull more seeds out of them, too. Tippy will enjoy the ride.
I used my tub for the first time and it felt so good. Also nice to pay attention to my feet. Rubbing and massaging. I got nearly seven hours of sleep last night, according to Fitbit. After reading on the subject, I ordered a different formulation of hemp extracts, especially for sleep. Apparently the one I was using was not the right one.
Emptying the tub was a messy operation, I ended up bailing and getting a towel soaking wet to dry the floor. There are some things I will need to do different the next time.
I called my brother to wish him a happy birthday.
Need to get started writing.
I have a substantial list of New Year's resolutions.
Making a bread-- a friend called me and begged for a loaf of breadmaker bread.
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Petite, I am so sorry about your husband. I live in the same area as you, please tell me if I can help at all. I lost my husband suddenly 4 years ago, it is so hard to be without the person you have been with for so long. Take care of you, and ask for help if you need it.
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Mistyeyes, so good of you to be in a position to help.
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