Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Jackie ... meant to tell you I look your new rose avatar! Animals don't care what you look like and they are non-judgmental ... they don't care if, when ill or depressed, you look like something the cat dragged in (pun intented). They give unconditional love and stay by your side. They've done studies about animals and blood pressure. Even if you are talking to a much loved friend, you never know what comes up next; therefore, you are anxious and your blood pressure goes up whereas there will be no backtalk with an animal; although I really think Diva wants to say something. Ergo, your blood pressure goes down.
Dotti ... your babies are so cute. Like our dogs (Coton der turlear) you could just attach a handle to their backs and they become dust mops!
Melissa ... your babies are too cute too! You brag all you want and post pictures of them, lots!
Animals are the best medicine!!!!!
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Dotti Congratulations on your win at the dog show.
SV When I was reading your post I was thinking about that Billy Joel song, which I love by the way and then you wrote "I could just be the lunatic, you're looking for".....Wow, two great minds. I love your posts....you make me laugh and I still find it amazing that you are coping so well with the quadruple dose of chemo.....I had a tough time with the regular dosage toward the end of treatment.
I think I came onto this particular forum right when the problem that has been referred to was over and someone said she was leaving and no longer going to post and I just don't get it. Aren't these boards supposed to be a place where we can vent? Regardless of our stage and diagnosis, we are all dealing with cancer and that is a stressful thing and we should not have to be afraid of offending someone if we say a cuss word every once in awhile. I am not a person who swears much, (although I do find that driving just seems to bring out words I didn't even know I knew) but sometimes things just slip out when emphasizing a point. Isn't it a little childish if someone says something we don't particulary like or agree with, that we pick up our toys and go home? Aren't we adults? Since I do not really know the circumstance I am not really qualified to offer my opinion on this particular offense, but it seems to me that there are other issues that are a lot more important than offending someone by a post. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and this is supposedly a free country so shouldn't we be able to express ourselves.( Within reason) I know since there are rules that are established on these boards so we have to respect those. This is a wonderful board, one I feel very fortunate to have found(speaking of BC.org in general here) because I have had answers from women on here who actually had done the treatments I was investigating or doing....they were able to give me the information and support I needed. I have made some good friends on here whom I PM all the time. We don't talk about BC all the time, but it helps that we have that in common because they can understand where I am coming from and what I am dealing with whereas a lot of my friends don't.
I find that I have gotten rather blunt in my old age and also think having cancer has had a lot to do with it, but sometimes I will say something and afterward think I cannot believe I said that. This is normally when in a store and I get some salesperson who knows less about what they are selling than I do, or someone can't figure out how to do a refund. Sometimes I say things that are downright rude and wonder what I am going to be like when I get really old, (positive thinking there), but I am sorry I just don't feel like I have time to waste on incompetent people and things I used to just think, now suddenly pop out of my mouth.
In looking at the big picture, aren't there a lot of other things to be worrying about. Like are my nails ever going to be normal again, what is that shadow they are seeing in the lung, is that little pain I am feeling arthritis or something else, will I see my kids graduate (not me, I never had any), who is going to take care of the pets if something happens? I hope I am not stepping on any toes by expressing my opinion on this and know I am still new to this particular forum so you may just feel I should keep my mouth shut, BUT I think it is something that is over and done with and not something anyone should waste precious time stewing over. Life is short even for those who don't have cancer. Enjoy it and try to make the most of each and every day.
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SV, I hope you come back. You are missed.
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SV, You were saying goodbye? Oh no! I misread it and thought you were including someone else's post....the one you had supposedly offended. Heck, I loved your posts. I hope you haven't left. You are right you are in a fragile state....we all are. That is why we need each other so don't leave us.
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Glad you felt safe in expressing your opinion Barb. I guess the thing is.....in order for things to happen one has to feed the other. Or put a different way, it takes two to play a game. If one bows out.....there is no game. That is all that needed to happen to solve this.....no one needed to leave the boards. You just simply end the game by refusing to play. I know it is difficult when provocative things are said -- we all want to defend our right to be who we are -- but sometimes letting it succumb to a "natural" ending is a nice high road. Got to run.
Hugs, Jackie
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Dotti...
To add info at the end of your posts: Go to your HOME page, click on Edit My Profile, scroll down to the last box: Signature. Write what ever you want to appear as your signature line - your name, a saying you like, and/or your treatment info.
Pam
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Kathleen, your post made me feel humble and grateful for the good health I've enjoyed my entire life until the BC dx last June. Wow, you've had WAY more than your share of bad health and accidents.
My shopping trip yesterday was very successful. I found some clothes for dressier occasions and everything was on sale.
This afternoon DH and I are off to the movies with friends. Hope everyone is having a good Sunday.
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Marybe - I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. It is time to let everything pass and I feel confident that all the PODS will do just that.
Have a great day everyone!
ChrisOh, and Dotti - Congrats on your dog's award. Just adorable!
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Carole et al,
A good shopping day makes us all feel like good hunter-gatherers
And don't we all love a bargain! We have a big wedding to attend in mid April and I thought I had just the right dress for it. I tried it on and asked DH what he thought and he had the temerity to tell me. :-( So now I am on the hunt for appropriate "stepmother of the stepmother of the groom" dress. Yes, we are a modern family. I know what I want and that ensures it does not exist. The wedding is in a church with cocktail reception after so I hope to find something more than dressy, less than glitzy. All suggestions entertained!So many of us have "new" bodies so it can be fun or distressing or just a challenge to shop. I have always liked Dillards but either I am getting too old or their buyer is too young... couldn't be the former! I was in there at Christmas and found a beautiful classic cut black dress. But further looking revealed a sheer back insert that exposed low enough that my granny panties would have shown!
What movie did you see, Carole? We are watching an old BBC series about Lilly Langtry. The filming - staging is almost like a stage play. It's from Netlix so we watch one 3 hour DVD, then have to send it in and wait for the next installment X 3. But we can watch it in our jammies
It's a rainy day in Florida... after gorgeous sun yesterday. Hope the rest of you are out soaking up some Vitamin D. BTW, can anyone tell me the difference between the vitamin D in my calcium pill and Vitamin D3? Is there a difference? And what kind of calcium do you all take?
pam
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Pam, sounds like you are going to have fun looking for clothes. I am the worlds worst....no sense of style. I would look for anything plain, maybe a dark ivory color --- although don't we always look a bit smaller in darker clothes -- see what I mean, no real sense about these things. Just know that I feel better in something that is a little plainer and then dress it up with some go with's.
I am waiting this evening for the 11 part series on Discovery called Life. I think it is all animals -- some quite small --- and photographers apparently waited for hours to get many of these pictures -- things we would never ordinarily see ourselves. The spot ads they show just look so fantastic.
Still raining here which I do not like. It does affect my moods -- though one day will not. I just dislike it for my cats I feed, but into each life some rain must fall---even in a cats.
Hope you all are having a fantastic day.
Many hugs, Jackie
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Jackie - Love the pic of the Siamese kitten. Reminds me of my babies. So adorable - I want to pick him up and hug, kiss and love him. Oh, that face! Chris0
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Morning all.
Had a great day yesterday. Took GD to church with us then home for a sleep- the baby not us- while I made food to take to a family gathering. Once Bea woke we we to lunch and had a pleasant afternoon. Bea was really great and played with her bigger second cousins and got cuddles from all the family. When she wants something now she takes my hand and says 'come'. If she wants DH she just stands and says Grandad until he takes notice. Came home gave her a bath and some tea, not that much was needed as we ate all afternoon. Then her mother arrived and of course got huge cuddles and Bea then pointed to the door with 'car' ' dada' so she knew where she wanted to go.I know I am a doting Granny but feel so lucky to have her.
I am really unhappy about what has happened here but unfortunately it seems quite common on BCO and things get blown out of all proportion. These threads have been my life saver ever since dx. I didn't want a face to face group at the beginning so this was the answer. Now, there are some from our chemo group who skype each other and I am visiting Denver in May to see one very special friend I have made.
Jackie I want that kitten but I don't think my boys would be very happy. I must get moving as I do have some work to do today, Hope you are all having a happy Sunday.
Alyson
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Alyson,
Is Bea's full name Beatrice? Like the little princess? Of course she is your little princess. How quickly they learn how to wrap us around their little finger! Do you use that expression or is it just Americanese? My grandchildren are getting older (4, 6, 9) and are so busy with all the things children do nowadays. We used to have one or other frequently but now they are off to ball games, cheerleading, birthday parties, etc. Time passes too fast!
All these beautiful kittens and puppies! Makes me miss having a little fuzzy friend. Guess I will enjoy your little guys vicariously. And how do you cope when they get old and sick? I have been there with beloved toy poodle and cherished grandcat and it hurts so much to lose them. I guess it is the price to pay for the love and devotion they give us.
We love watching the Westminster Dog Show. And the movie, Best In Show... hysterical! It must be such fun to participate and to WIN! Congratulations Dotti!!! Or do we congratulate the doggie?What a job to groom and train for it! A real labor of love. Are the dogs excited? Do they know? Some of them are so smart - I bet they do.
I am not a support group kind of person either. But the wonderful women of this forum have given me so much information, sympathy and laughs that I am forever indebted to every one of you.
pam
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Dottie your picture is beautiful. Wish mine had a coat like that. You have to spend alot of time on them to get them to look like that. Congratulations on your win. I know you are proud of them. Yes,they are more than just pets. they become your sounding board, best friends, sleeping partners, etc. but best of all you don't have to put on a show for them. They accept you for who you are. They also keep you going because you know you have to feed, water, groom etc. they depend on you too. Pets just seem to have that healing power. I see every one has led you to the home page to post diagnoses. Thats great that every one is so helpful and interested. This is a great site and great advice.
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Just a nice story for the day!.. Hope all are enjoying this day and maybe a little bit of sunshine. How can anyone condemn the innocence of a child..? Love the ending.
Thought this was something to share. Someone sent this to me......
"My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, 'God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!'
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, 'That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!'
Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, 'Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?'
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my son and said, 'I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.' 'Really?' my son asked. 'Cross my heart,' the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), 'Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.'
Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, 'Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.' "
The End
I love this story! Please keep it moving. Sometimes, we all need some ice cream. I hope God sends you some Ice Cream today!
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Having a good time in Palm Desert
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As always... fabulous photos!
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Chevy - Love your story. Actually it brought tears to my eyes. Being a retired teacher, I was fortunate to have experienced those special moments of thoughtfulness and kindness in a child and it really is a very touching time.
Lisa - Beautiful pics!
Good night everyone. Hugs, Chris
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Jackie - The more I look at that pic you posted, the more I'm wondering if it may be Himalayan rather than Siamese. What do you think? Chris0
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Thanks for the advice re diagnosis, as you can see managed to get it.
Yes Dotti is gorgeous and the grooming is very rewarding for me and the dog, just one on one and really very soothing, and 4 of mine have coats like this. They are my babies, my DD is nearly 30, she worked as a camp counsellor in one of your summer camps , got the travel bug and went to live in Australia,only gets home once a year, so the dogs are probably a substitute for her as well
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Well Dotti, your DD certainly has great taste in countries she chooses to live in!
If I see her around, I'll say hi for you,
Sheila.
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Good morning everyone. It's still a little hazy here in central Illinois to really know what the weather is going to be, but it's not raining, snowing, or blowing very much and that's an improvement. I can't believe I was golfing in just a light jacket this last Friday and have been freezing ever since! Surely Spring is on the way. If not, mother nature has played a terrible trick on my daffodils that are beginning to blossom. I can't wait to get out in the yard and really dig into my flower beds!
The kitten pictures are adorable. I love that little yellow kitten with the gigantic eyes.
I also love Mondays. I know I'm strange, but I never have any set activities on Mondays so I have the entire day to myself. Today I think I'll spend quite a bit of the time writing questions in my office and planning the meals for the week. I'll be back later.
Rita
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I think the little kitten is a Himalayan....but hard to tell as all kittens tend to have the fuzzy haired look. Dotti, I think Pam really nailed it for putting in your bottom diagnosis.
Lisa...hardly need to say it do I ????
Great to see you Sheila. Haven't heard from you for a bit.
Rita -- you make Mondays sound so great. Actually, any day you wake up with your chest moving in and out has something going for it, doesn't it??? Today ( despite starting out with rain which I think will go away later, I made a hair appt. I let my hair grow all winter to keep my neck warm....but I'm extremely shabby. Time to get a new do and a perm. Although my hair came back after chemo....I did not become the "lady" I thought I might. Was hoping for thick, curly red hair. Instead my old hair came back....thin, fine, straight and a slightly darker brown. Had to have some radiation ( actually drink it ) for a bad thyroid....so my dishwater lt. brown/blond hair turned to darker brown....and after chemo to darker brown yet. Sigh ~!!!!!! Just glad to have hair and now I can complain about it just like I use too.
Hope you all have a fantastic day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie,
Hair is like the weather.... always something to complain about. Mine is curly so, naturally, I would prefer straight. DD used to get frizzy perms (back in the 80s) and I never understood it. I passed the curly gene to my son who passed it to DGD. At 6 she is not yet old enough to know the curse of curly hair. :-)
I just got home from my daily walk. Whew... longer than usual. A "new" neighbor invited me into see the house they just bought. From the outside the house is terrific but the interior is frozen in a 1960s Dean Martin movie. They plan to live in it as they try to renovate one space at a time. A big job! But they have a great location and a sound structure with good bones.... and they are young enough to tackle such a project. DH says our remodeling days are over so I guess someday someone will look at my house and say it is frozen in a 2000s Southern Living magazine article :-) Now, how could that be a bad thing!
Off to do laundry, go to the bank and post office and drop a bag at the church shop. Tres exciting. Healthy, healing vibes to everyone.
pam
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Carole ... thanks for the post. It doesn't seem so bad but then I have really low expectations!
Lisa ... you and your camera find the beauty everywhere. Those photos are breathtaking!
Cat Lovers ... I would love to get Mister Oliver hugs and kisses but he has other ideas. If he sleeps with me it is at the end of the bed - God forbid I touch him while he is sleeping.
Pam ... mine has always been curley too and all I wanted was straight hair. My grandmother was aghast that I would actually pay someone to straighten their hair. Round about 2006 something happened to it ... I suddenly developed a cowlick and now it is only wavy. Now I want my curls back.
To everyone, have a lovely day (yea, we got rain here too!).
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Hello ladies; Had my IV/oral Ct scan today. Was supposed to take my sister to the Dr. when I got out , but had to depend on my daughter to do it as I barely made it home before I had an accident. also had a horible headache from the dye.
Dottie -- You have a right to be proud of your babies. I know what you mean about them taking your childrens place. That is when I started breeding, when I got the emty nest syndrom. Then the grandkids came, and my DD divorce and back home came the 2 youngest. and no more room for puppies, and my females need to retire anyway. princess had only had one litter, but on had a hairlip and I had decided not to breed her again anyway because of it.
But I've been thankful they've been here to help me during my husband illness and now here for me. My dogs can't do every thing. But they sure pass the Love around.
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barb....I can certainly agre with you about the dogs taking the childrens place. But I had my dogs since I was 11, my children had to put up with them ! I couldn't live without dogs...DH yes, sometimes , but NOT my dogs. I just need that contact every day with them.
In fact I called my DD after my beautiful cream Saluki. She was just over a year old, (the dog !!) and I had to drive back home, a relative was ill. DH1 forgot he'd let the dog out, and not checked the gates, and she got onto the road, and was killed. I was pregnant at the time, so called my DD Sarah, after my Saluki....DD loves to tell anyone who will listen she was named after a dog! At the moment DD is dog free, and she says 'loving it, after all the dogs I have had to put up with ' I didn't realise she resented my dogs quite so much over the years. Little madam !!!!
Isabella.
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We are home for a few days..loved seeing the mountains from the desert
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Isabella4: I've never been without dogs either. It just isn't home without a pet. I just didn't breed them until I got the emty nest syndrom. My DD isn't crazy about my dogs, never has been. She would rather have a cat. which isn't bad, but with 4 dogs in the house it may turn into a circus.
SoCalLisa: what a beautiful picture of the desert and the mountains. Where was it taken, Looks similar to some places in NM. such a contrast.
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Hi Barb..it was taken in Indian Wells, Ca near Palm Desert
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