Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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barb_k,
I just noticed you are in Carlsbad. Been there twice, of course went to the caverns both times... 20 years apart. Amazing place. DH has relatives buried there.. in a cemetary, not in the cavern :-) We looked for traces of the old Army base from WWII but not much left. Times change.
pam
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Fltingdutchess- I too am very lucky about finances- still working and have two insurances and 1000 + supporters in the Fire Department (I work there- not a frequent flier). I worried about this and there still looms a little cloud far off in the universe (I won't let it get closer) as the insurance company told me they would only pay for my Rt MX and I opted for a BMX.-I did threaten to fight them- that was in Oct 09, and did receive an EOB stating the hospital was paid in full-???? HOPE, PRAY AND ABOVE ALL BELIEVE IN THE BEST HAPPENING
As to your friend- I am so sorry for your loss- Please don't feel guilty over this as we are a special group and until one joins us others are NO authority- you need support for YOUR decisions- love and tenderness and once in a while- like most of us a kick in the pants- but never negativity. You need confidence in your docs and in your decision and not to worry about money, (which you can not change) and or others' opinions. I have a wedding to attend in May- My sisters daughter and my favorite niece. The sisters-in-laws (my sisters SIL) think I am crazy and stupid for not having recon. Well, they are entitled to their beliefs, and I am going with my foobs on, my lymphedema sleeves in bright purple and having the best time of ALL- I intend to show them the face of BC has many ambassadors- many moccasins to fill and no wrong personal decisions. My decision was based on simply things- lower chance of infection and complications and MOST of all NO MORE SURGERY!
Welcome to our group- I am 56 will be 57 and relate to this group no matter what number they have attached to their birth year! We love each other, support one another and have a huge variety of interest- I don't think we think about age much- except to compare body parts---LOL
Hang it and Welcome to the Chooks, the Mighty POD and the Calender Girls! Melissa
PS Jackie you are right about the SUE FACTORY here in America- people will sue over anything and Las Vegas is very bad about this- hey life happens and by the way who wants cold coffee anyway-?? and as to the finger tip in the chili- way a stupid fool- gave them DNA and a missing finger tip right out in the open to show off-maybe they should have used a PINKIE- at least when they went to see the judge they could cover it up with shoes- TEEHEE
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Flying Dutchess---welcome to our little corner of the Internet. I'm glad you found us. I am 64 but have always felt much younger. Conversely, when I was a whole lot younger....I felt much older. Much can be said and has been about age, but it is only a measurement we use.....we get birth certificates and need these "numbers" so we can get social security ( I call it old age pension, lovingly ) at the appropriate time.
As to retirement and money holding out.....no one plans medical disasters like long range cancer txs, nor probably any of the diseases that those in certain age groups seem to find on their doorstep. I guess since I had trouble seeing myself as old.....I also had difficulty thinking that I would end up with many of the medical issues that I have. My semi-retirement, since I can only retire in full about two weeks before I die, won't allow much for trips or indeed too many frivolous gifts to myself. Thankfully, I am not too interested in those things.
Hopefully, you can return to having a lot less medical incidents now. Also, I do hope ( it remains to be seen ) that retirement and other Ins. will settle in where it is really affordable and where we are paying less and getting good if not better care overall. Have to wait and see about that one.
As for friends --- the lack of understanding and true caring is painful and it is a big loss. I lost a family member during this time. I wrote her out and would not hesitate ( just wonder now why I ever put up with her so long anyway ) to do so again. My life is precious and is worthwhile and I know I am a decent, caring person......if someone chooses to detract from that, to be abusive to that, I am not going to attempt as I often use too, to fix it. I am not going to take on the burden any longer of repair when their isn't any and never was. I know it hurts, and it takes a long time, but I use this yardstick --- after I have done a little grieving for this person, be it friend, relative or whatever.....do I notice that I feel better, less weighted down, able to anticipate whatever tomorrow has in store. Does laughter come a little more to me. Am I just a little less moody, and little less on edge. Do I feel less critical about other people and incidents going on in life. Do I have more energy. Lots of questions -- but if I can answer yes to a couple or even more, than I know I did the right thing. These people are mentally beating the dickens out of us --- and you know if someone was actually hitting you....you'd have them arrested -- gotten away from you. The best way to glorify your soul and make your life good is to get away from people who drag you down by mentally beating you up.
Ok, Miss High Horse will now relinquish the podium. You can really tell the things that get to me. I know everything and I do mean everything has a season -- even getting smarter about something --- but I was and did spend so many years as a milquetoast always blaming myself for the "failures" of friends and family. Always thinking I had to take the high road and be the fixer-upper. Then the light bulb finally snapped on and I realized -- it was me who needed the fixing and once I got that I quit letting people do it to me.
Hope you all have a truly wonderful day. Where's Jeanette????
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You do not have the right to quit trying. (The universe wobbles when you do.) You have the right to quit Toxic People. (They're contagious.) ~Dr. SunWolf
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Hi gals!
Oh notself, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Hugs to both of you!
Welcome Flying Duchess! I bet we all have "friend stories" after our diagnosis. It's really funny but the people who I thought would be there for me were the ones who disappeared. A couple of my golfing and bowling acquaintances stepped up and gave me so much help and emotional support and we have become very good friends. Now, a couple of the gals who disappeared when times were tough have started to migrate back into my life. I tolerate them when we're in the same group but will never let them back into my heart completely again. I learned how selfish they really were really at a time when the lesson was tough to swallow.
We had a great Easter! It was so good to get my hands on those little grandsons again and our baby is now walking all over the place. We packed alot of fun activities into the weekend. We went to Keeneland Race Track for the kids activities on Saturday morning and had a buffet breakfast trackside. Then we headed for an Easter egg hunt at the school where everyone was a winner! After the naps, we went to the fort at Boonesborough and hiked the trails in the nature area there before playing a round of mini-golf. It was an exciting day for everyone! I have lots of pictures that I'm going to try to post later this week or early next week. You know how these proud grandmas are!
I hope everyone had a good Easter (although it doesn't sound like Melissa's was so great!). I've got lots to get accomplished this afternoon so I need to get off of here and get busy. I'll check back with you later.
Rita
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Thanks for all of the kind wishes for my brother. He is doing well and is home getting his house ready to go on the market. He definitely want to move to our town and be close (we hope next door) to us.
Monday he has a follow up with his surgeon and I have a long list of questions to ask. I am concerned about the radiation possibly affecting his thyroid as well as killing his taste buds and salivary glands. I also want to discuss how we can protect against mouth sores. I had blisters on my breast. I can't imagine how much they would hurt in the mouth.
Did I mention? Cancer sucks.
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Good morning everyone.
I woke up during the wee moning hours to some lightning and thunder. Took the dogs ( all three ) outside -- thinking I'd get wet, but didn't. Thank goodness, they did not wish to stay long out there. All is fine now....for all the light and noise nothing happened. Guess it will come later today sometime....or if not tonight.
Due to have some cooler temps, but I'm so thrilled and inspired that Spring is at long last here I don't mind too much.. I have managed to get some work done ( there sure is a ton and a half more to go ) in my own house and I am sure some of that is from that ""spring inspiration"" that is helping me get some desire built up. I think it is that -- every Spring God helps you start over and you want to renew your house right along with al the new green exterior going on. Beautiful branches filling out that were bare last week.
I hope you will all be having a fantastic day. I'm thinking about all of you.
Hugs, Jackie
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Does anyone else remember spring cleaning? Wash the curtains, roll up the rugs, put slip covers on the furniture. Wash the WALLS! Windows of course. Was it because "heating" the house used to involve smoke or soot? Or is cleaning now a year round sport? Maybe the good old days were more work? We do a lot more laundry now but it is sure easier than a washboard or a ringer washer!
pam
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Oh yes, Pam..........spring cleaning! How well I remember that! Everything, and I do mean everything, in the house got a "face-lift." Now I struggle to keep things up week by week. I think you're right. We tend to clean more regularly, have better cleaning aids, and cleaner heating methods. My mother was relentless with her spring cleaning routine when I was growing up. It sometimes took two weeks to get everything done. She went room by room.
Well, I have to do a little work around here so I'd better get going. The Wednesday morning bowling league is over for the season and we have our bowling banquet tonight at a nice steakhouse in town. I guess that means that golfing season is officially "IN."
Everyone have a good day!
Rita
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Yes to spring cleaning- I remember and still do it but it takes a lot longer.
The movers just called - they are packing and loading in one day- I am happy but it turns up the heat- better run and may not be on for a few days-
Hope everyone stays well, has some fun and is happy!
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Yes we did the spring clean thing as well. Then my grandmother added another clean prior to the New Year as everything had to be done in the house before midnight or else thing wouldn't get completed that year. Maybe that's why we never get projects finished!!! My Grandmother was Scots and very superstitious.
It is a beautiful Autumn morning so think I will go for a walk now.
Alyson
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Spring cleaning at my house involved a lot of wall washing. Now I think we just repaint most of the time. It was also a time to remove all the old wax off the floor -- completly stripped and start anew. I actually ( thought you could always find something -- like going through the closets since we have seasonal clothes here ) like cleaning pretty much all the time --- though it can get a little hit and miss sometimes. I don't like the massive two week push to get it all done. I've worked for so long it is not practical and only leaves me feeling guilty about what didn't get done.
Now that I have tangled with the big C, I don't get guilty over very much...life goes on whether the floor gets a good mopping or the furniture gets dusted. No one ever sneaks in behind my back to do it....so hey, I've got the rest of my life. It may get done on a weird time-table, but it will get done.
See you all later. Enjoy your walk Alyson. Did Jeaneatte go on vacation or something. I miss these things most of the time.
Hugs, Jackie
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Hi speaking of spring cleaning we just cleeaned the basement today. I have a question about going back to work. Did anyone attend a back to work session before going back to work?
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Hi, everyone. I've been so busy lately I don't seem to get to the computer. Now that spring is here, there's lots of yard work to do in addition to the usual activities and chores. Pam, I love your saga about your husband's diet! I know a man who is a prostate cancer survivor and completely changed his diet. He rarely eats red meat, and he made his fortune in the beef business! Very ironic. He eats mostly vegetables, grains, and fruit. Some fish. His wife continues to eat like she always did, a well-rounded diet that includes red meat. Pam, why not allow your DH into the kitchen? He might discover an interest in cooking. My DH is a pretty good cook. I'm even getting across the point that he should clean up after himself when he cooks.
Our spring flowers are gorgeous and the trees are that glorious "new" shade of green.
Have a great evening.
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It is my DHs birthday today. I was completely at a loss to find something for him at short notice....I just haven't had time lately to go to any shops where anything would suit him.
I was absolutely stuck yesterday, I couldn't walk too far, so as a last ditch thing I called in a shoe shop, and got him a pair of shoes. Of course they didn't have brown ones in his size, and he will only wear brown, so I bought black, as I really was out of time, and feigned great suprise this morning when he opened his parcel, blaming the shop assistant !!! ( I will never end up in Heaven !!!!) He tried them on, walked about in them, and decided he liked them OMG was there ever such an obtuse man ?? He will not wear black shoes, only to a funeral, normally.
This afternoon I had a meeting to decide on my Aunts future, not that she has one with Alzheimers really taking a hold. She is coming out of acute care, and back into her nursing home on Friday. She will be disorientated again, as she goes back to her home to the Alzeimers section, so all will be unfamiliar again. I didn't stay too long with her today. There was 'entertainment' if you could call it that, for the residents. Some fool playing a tin whistle and saxaphone as loud as you could get, in a not very big room. I couldn't talk to my Aunt for the racket, and she wasn't in the mood to move to a quieter place, so I crept away unnoticed , and hit the supermarket.
As it was Dhs birthday I bought him a book about boxing, a set of dumbbells, and a goey chocolate birthday cake. I cooked him a steak with new potatoes, and green beans, his favorite. I really hate cooking so it was a big effort on my part. What did he do ? come in 55 minutes late and complain the food 'was cold, and the steak was tough' He promptly chopped up the steak and gave it to the dogs. How I kept from bashing him over the head with his plate I don't know !! Then he must have seen the look on my face because he daren't refuse a piece of birthday cake , even tho' he was itching to leave the table and watch the news !!
He has just asked me 'where are you taking me tomorrow, for my birthday meal?' I thought quickly tonight, and replied 'same place as you took me 6 weeks ago!' which was exactly nowhere ! i had planned a day sewing, lots of things backing up on me, and need some quiet time to myself, I seem to have been running sorting out my Aunt, looking after g/children, running back and forth to the vets with two poorly dogs, chasing sheep, delivering eggs....my feet have hardly hit the ground for the past 10 days. Every w/end DH starts 'catching up' with jobs he has been unable to get round to in the week, and he always seems to pick jobs that need 2 people, so I haven't had a w/end to myself now for about 6 weeks. I used to look forwards to shutting myself away for 2 afternoons, with some sewing, and something good to listen to on the radio, on a w/end. DH will come upstairs to ask me to help him and he'll say 'well, you're not doing much are you ? ' How is it that mens work is always so important, and womens work is of no consequence ?? I never can work that one out ! Dh is planning another trip out cattle buying this coming w/end...I am working on altering his mind !! He thinks w/ends are ok to go off on these trips, but as I won't let him buy without me being there we get to scrapping !! I like to choose what we buy, always have, I do love my sheep and cattle, and its a job I do well.
We did agree last year to slowly start and wind things down, towards retiring just about completely, but things just seem to be going on as they have always done.....difference is nowadays things seem to take much longer to get round !! I have cut my sheep down now to 30, they will always remain here as pets. I just like having them around the place....just as with my dogs I can never give them up altogether....it wouldn't be the same to look out of my bedroom window on a morning and not see sheep..... tho' when one of the little devils gets out I threaten to send them all off for the chop !!!
Welcome to the new ladies, nice to have others to 'chat' to we seem to have lost one or two lately somehow !
Isabella.
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Hello all...I have been gone almost two weeks...Mexico Cruise.
Have not read back yet...
Still feeling like I am walking on a moving ship...tipsy..
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Glad to see you back Lisa. Aren't the south of the border/Mexican cruises colorful. I think if is one of the things I most appreciate -- the Spanish/Mexican people are not afraid of color.
Isabella -- how funny about the black shoes. Just like a fellow --- we try to work around them when at all possible....and they are desperate for our help. Hope you can "cut" back like you want too......there is a time to back off and it sounds like your life is a bit on the busy side.
Carole -- glad you got in here. I was about ready to add your name alongside Jeanette's. Of course, sometimes we do need a break from here, but I like to know everyone is ok.
I'll see you all tomorrow some time. My Thursday work day....so may be quite late.
Hugs, Jackie
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file:///Users/Pam/Pictures/iPhoto%20Library/Modified/2004/Beach%204-8-101/IMG_4985.JPGMiss April - Women of the POD Calendar0
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Sorry it is so big! I am working on it.
pam
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Sorry I could not get my calendar girl picture to post. You can copy the link and post it in your address line if you want to see it.
CAROLEH, Nice to see you back here. As to DH in the kitchen...NOT a good idea. DH is like Fred McMurray in The Absent Minded Professor. I went to London with DD one time. He put regular dish soap in the dishwasher with predictable result. He emailed me 'what do I do?" Rarely when I am not home he will put something on to cook, turn it up on high, and totally forget about it! I value my stove and my cookware too much to let him in the kitchen! He is brilliant in some ways but not in routine household stuff. He excuses it on getting older but he has always been like this. First time he brought a pizza to my house he carried the box sideways, like you would carry a book under your arm. All the cheese and toppings slid off the crust and piled up in a clump. :-) Yes, I still married him and love him in spite or because of it. I am a sucker for being needed, I guess.
Off to shower and wash my hair. Good health vibes to all.
pam
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Hey, Pam...........still laughing about the tipped pizza. Thanks for sharing! LOL
The sun is out today and I'm going to work in a few flower beds and play a round of golf. I'll be back this weekend to catch up on the lastest from all of you!
Rita
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Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. ~Robert Brault
Just sharing something I found and liked very much. Anyone still watching the Nat'l Geo Life series. I am still pretty fascinated. I regret that I did miss one week of it.....but hopefully, won't miss any more. For all we know....so much goes un-seen and and un-felt everyday. Trees are continuing to fill in. Like some others have mentioned....I love it when this happens....the colors are so vibrant -- you can just look at them and see life coursing through them.
Hope you are all going to have a really fantastic day. See you later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Isabella, your life with DH could surely qualify as material for a British comedy! My DH and I enjoy watching some of the British comedies like Keeping up Appearances with Hyacinth Bucket, who pronounces her name Bouquet. My all-time favorite was Faulty Towers. I wish I could buy a collection of those episodes. They were so funny.
Pam, lovely calendar picture!
We're enjoying a beautiful spring with blossoms everywhere. Wisteria, azaleas, bridal wreath. It's a pleasure to drive around and see all the gardens. The pollen has been very bad but is gradually getting less bothersome.
A happy weekend to all.
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Quick fly by.
Carole, you can buy Fawlty Towers and Hyacinth. I just had a very quick peek at Amazon and they're there, along with lots of other comedy programes, all the 'best of ' and 'complete series'
Have a good weekend one and all, we are having lovely weather so shall be attempting to do some gardening. DH cut the lawn today...WITHOUT A MURMUR....MOST UNUSUAL !!! I didn't really ask, just hinted, and next thing I knew he was zooming round on the lawnmower ! Blossom is just about to go mad, about another 5/6 days I would think, and it will be a riot. I love the blossom, but it doesn't last long. Wouldn't it be nice if the trees were blooming all summer ?
Isabella.
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Just popping in to say hi on this beautiful Saturday. Lots to do today and lots of fantastic sun to do it in...my idea of heaven in a basket. See all you of you later at break time.
Hugs, Jackie
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Isabella, I will definitely check Amazon for the Fawlty Towers episodes. Thanks for the info. I'm surprised spring has arrived this early in England. I guess I thought your weather would be more like our New England weather.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
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HI Everyone!
Watching the golf tournament and playing computer and eating pizza... does not get better! I would love for Phil Michelson to win ... small reward for the medical problems his family has had. He deserves it.
I spent an hour outside today cutting back hibiscus, bouganvilla and ficus. The ficus is quite dead so that's a shame but totally expected. It gets too cold here for them to survive long term. Raking leaves... our oak trees lose their leaves in the spring, not the fall. And picking up palm fronds, a never ending job! Every time it rains and blows the palms shed old "branches." Beautiful weather and I got a little pink on my lily white upper arms which is good as we are going to a fancy wedding next Saturday and my dress is sleeveless. Flab looks better with a little color. :-)
We love all the brit coms! My favorite is As Time Goes By. Have seen the episodes so many times I practically know the dialogue! The story line is practically my sister's life story... Viet Nam instead of Korea. I am always trying to get her to watch it but she is living it so guess that is better. Gentle sophisticated humor.
What is this snow in Ohio???? Almost summer here... high 70s and sunny, cool breeze. I have been walking on the beach and it is just beautiful. The sand is hard and packed by the waves, lots of times it is too soft to walk easily. Saw the biggest jelly fish I've ever seen, looked like a giant bowl of gelatin. I was badly stung by jellyfish as a child so respect their territory.
Did you all see Martina Navratolova on Larry King? Sorry she is going through this but she is an excellent spokesman for breast cancer. Calm, factual and rational. Wishing her well.
And cyber hugs to everyone!
pam
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Hey Carole, I hope you've been out on the golf course. I played a round on Friday and we're going out in a little bit to play nine holes this afternoon. It's lovely here and we'd play 18 but our Sunday night bowling league still goes through April and we're crunched on time.
Pam, I worked for a couple of hours today in the yard, too. I just love digging in the dirt and I had several walnuts to pick up before I can mow. The grass is getting tall enough to mow but I just hate to mow down all the little spring wild flowers that have popped up in my yard between the grass blades. Hmmm...I'll have to ponder the mow or not to mow question for a few more days!
I hope everyone is doing well today. My left knee and my right foot (right on the ball of it) are acting up. I can't remember doing anything to iritate it so wonder if it might now be compliments of the Arimidex. I drug out the ibupro. for a few days in hopes that it helps. It's been quite a while since I've taken any so I don't think a few will hurt me this week! It's one thing to be an older woman but heck to feel like one!
Hugs to all of you.
Rita
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Bringing a friend to say hi this morning.
I'll be checking in later.
Hugs, Jackie
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I saw that Phil won the Master also..go Phil
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