Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
The funniest thing I heard regarding cosmetic surgery was on the View last week (really, just channel surfing). Dame Edna was on and was asked about plastic surgery s/he might have had and answered, "Oh yes. I had these little wrinkles added here beside my eyes. And I had this second chin added. They have them in Brazil. In the freezer."
And I didn't even have to have surgery to get my second chin!
0 -
Hmmm, use to love Joan Rivers but I almost try not to see her now. Truthfully, it looks painful and in the back of my mind I'm sorta thinking....can she close her eyes when she sleeps. You know, I'm all for looking good and hope that some of my genes will give me a boost, but there does come a time when what you have done to "cover" up your age is just too obvious -- in fact, to me it does more to advertise your advancing years than I'd think anyone would want to. Eventually nature is going to take it's course. I don't want to have such an aversion to my advancing years that I do things that almost make me a caricature of myself.
Like so many of you, while I don't want to age prematurely in any way ( not that cancer didn't make a couple of in-roads there ) I actually think, I too have earned some of my wrinkles and laugh lines and other things. Although I really think of age as more just a number....and the adage your only as old as you feel and other things like that.....I do try to keep a young attitude and don't worry about "looking" my age -- I just don't want to have to feel it too much. Denny is going to be 71 on his birthday --- I'd hate to have people ( because I did all these marvelous procedures to stay young ) accuse him of robbing cradles and all those other silly things. Besides, bottom line --- at the end of the day I'll still be in the rocking chair beside him and who did we really fool.
Marybe.....a lot of people told me to try not to eat my really favorite foods -- chemo sometimes makes them taste bad and you almost get an aversion to them. I did this with water. I was a heavy-duty water drinker ( my big drink of choice ) and for a long time.....I couldn't drink it unless it had Kool-Aid in it. I got tired of that and switched to soda --- the strong flavor I guess and carbonation seemed to help me drink it just fine. A lof of people said to use Chrystal Light.....but I am allergic to Aspartame which is the sweetener in it, so I couldn't go that In fact, could not have anything if it wasn't sweetened with regular table sugar or Splenda which I use most of the time now. I like Diet Rite Cola.....it's called Zero. Has no real sugar, no salt, and no caffeine. I get my caffeine in coffee so don't need it in the cola.
I don't know about Raquel Welch, but I think there are some unique individuals that just have genes that tend to keep them looking really good long past the time you'd expect it. I think Sophia Loren was like that.
Well, I have rambled on enough for now. Had a good day and the boss let us go an hour early. Of course, I had feral cats to feed and Maggie's house to do....but home before dark. I sure love that.
See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
0 -
I had my surgery March 11 and it is NOW April 2 and I am still recouperating. I have a drain and it is still draining so it cannot be removed yet. 10 lymph nodes were removed. I understand that healing is not the same if lymph nodes are removed. (I am also a diabetic)
NOW the next step????? 2 nodes out of th 10 were cancerous.
So what about radiation???? or not, and then pill therapy?
It seems the radiation ONLY addresses the breast. The pill therapy addresses the rest of the body if it was invaded. BUT which one and all have so many BAD side effects. This is a really tough decision. I am 73 so the cancer is supposedly a slower growing one at this age.
Would appreciate any feed back.
Anne
0 -
Anne, glad you found this thread, so sorry you are going through it all. It has only been 4 weeks. usually after surgery you will get a port put in if your veins are not good, then have chemo for so many cycles and after all of that you may or may not do radiation to the area. Then if you are er pr positive you will do a hormone blocker pill for 5 years such as arimidex. Wishing you the best, it is a tough old road but we do if cause we have to.
Super good news today, and I think it had to do with prayer and fasting but the xray came back really good I can now walk with full weight bearing as long as I wear the brace for 6 more weeks and then a cat scan. So I am so mobile. I told DH I am starting on the house tomorrow. One room at a time, it has not been vacuumed, dusted, deep cleaned since last October and house I am back !!
0 -
Hi Anne, sorry you are here with us but BCo is a great place for support. As spar said, it's only 4 weeks. One thing we all learn is a little more patience (we never quite reach full patience!) so take it easy. No chemo? You only mention rads and pills. The SE's are different for everyone so it's difficult to decide for yourself based on that. Rads are usually pretty easy, mostly fatigue that disappears pretty quickly after the up-to 6 weeks tx time. Some do burn but there's products your onc team will suggest for that. Some have a difficult time on the pills, others. like me, have it relatively easy time. JO will be along to tell you the SE's of BC are easier to treat than a BC recurrence itself, especially if it should appear in another part of the body.
Whatever you decide, we are all here for you so please come back often to bounce your questions, fears, rants, etc. off of us.
Out into this great day ladies. Have a good one.
0 -
Anne,Welcome to you. Spar and Patoo gave you excellent descriptions of how after surgery usually goes and many of the expectations afterward. Since you don't have a diagnosis line and all this information comes from your pathology report it is hard to say what your Oncologist will recommend. General rule of thumb -- the bigger the tumor, the bigger the possibility of using aggressive therapies.
Hope you will come often. These ladies are full of wisdom and total caring.
Spar I am so thrilled about your X-ray news. Strange circle you had to go through to get back to being able to "use" your leg. I'm so very, very happy for you. Prayer is marvelous medicine.
Onward for today. It rained all night, but sun is trying to peek out now. Don't know if it will stay but the rain has hopefully moved on elsewhere. Hope you are all going to have a good day. I'll be checking back in later.
Hugs now, Jackie
0 -
Happy Happy Spring:
0 -
Spar,
I bet the dust bunnies are hiding under beds and couches trembling in fear hearing you are back! I know your DH has been great in the last few months but men are no good at routine housework. I am sure he has learned it was a full time job just keeping the kitchen open! Just take it slow. But great progress!
Anne,
We are all glad to be here for you at this difficult and confusing time. I am sure being diabetic affects your treatment plan, certainly your recovery time. Just hang in there and don't be afraid to ask questions, here or of your doctors. Do you already have a medical oncologist? Usually your breast surgeon turns you over to an oncologist who plots the rest of your course. Your surgeon may make some suggestions but he/she is not the one to handle your case forever. You may also be referred to an onc radiologist who would be in charge of radiation therapy. IF you had a mastectomy radiation may not be part of your treatment... So hope you are lining up your other doctors and moving toward developing a plan. Good luck and stay with us.
Marybe,
I hate my neck but I love Nora Ephron. She is so smart and so funny and so right on! I too saw Raquel Welch on Oprah. She looked great but not human, kind of like her face was made of rubber... great but not real, kind of like a Madam Alexander doll. I wonder what these people look like in real life. I used to think I would want plastic surgery when I needed it but took a CME (continuing medical education) class that overlapped from eyes to facial surgery. OMG, what they do in a face lift would scare you to death!
Melissa,
Do you think if I faked LE just so I could wear the sleeves to corral the flab that fate might curse me and I would really get LE? I don't think it is a good idea but I like the fashionable sleeve idea.
Jackie,
I agree about Joan Rivers. When she first started out I thought she was so funny but she has gotten so mean spirited in her attempt at humor. Who made her the arbiter of style? And I feel sorry for her daughter being drug in to the scene when she has no talent or enthusiasm for it. And the language!!! If you can only get a laugh by using vulgar language you are not a comedian.
Kathleen,
I am beginning to see the merit in the burqa. Every square inch is covered. When I was about 15 my dad went to Saudi Arabia. I asked him to bring me an Arab outfit. I was thinking of Aladdin and princesses in halter tops and harem pants and that kind of stuff. He brought me a BURQA! The material was beautiful, all embroidered but not what I had in mind!
No use writing to Ritajean. She is busy with those grandsons and has forgotten all about us. Good for her!!! Wish I could be with my grands' this weekend. :-( And where is CaroleH? Is it time to send Capt' Ahab out again? He did pretty good rounding up Melissa!
Notself,
Thank you for the Hot Cross Buns rhyme! We use to chant it jumping rope. I don't think I ever knew there was yeast roll. Sounds fabulous.
Lassie,
Where were you in Florida? Weather is terrific right now. Low 80s, sunny. Hope it lasts a while.
Wishing everyone a great weekend, Happy Easter.
pam
0 -
I just wanted to share some news about my dear brother. As I posted several weeks ago, he had been Dx with oral cancer. He had a 10 hour surgery on March 23. They removed 56 lymph nodes from his neck, jaw and mouth area and all were clear. He did have some involvement of the jaw bone and had the affected area removed but still has his complete jaw. They remove the tumor at the floor of his mouth as well. It was 2.8 cm.
He will be having radiation for 5-10 weeks. He may lose his remaining salivary glands and his taste buds will be destroyed. I am now a member of an oral cancer web site and the kind people there are giving me all sorts of information to help with my brother's care. The radiation can cause mouth sores so severe that some people need feeding tubes placed in their stomachs because they cannot swallow even soft foods during radiation. There has been some studies done indicating that rinsing the mouth with honey before and after radiation may mitigate the mouth ulcers. We are going to try that.
There is a drug that can save some of the salivary glands but like all drugs related to cancer, it has some nasty side effects. We will ask about it but since is is very expensive and only works in less than 50% of cases, the VA may not cover it.
My brother is handling all of this like the great guy he is. He will do what ever needs to be done.
0 -
notself,
So sorry your dear brother is having to go through this. It is a blessing to have you in his corner. Is he your younger or older brother? Either way there is a special bond. I did not grow up with brothers but met my older half brother when I was 40 years old. The bond was immediate... we act so much alike, even look alike. To explain, we share a father who died when I was a baby so I never knew that side of my family.
Thank goodness he has you to do all the research and he can concentrate on treatment and getting well. Bless you both!
pam
0 -
Thank God that my brother has all his medical bills and treatment covered by the Veterans Administration. I just wish the whole country could have the quality of care and efficiency of the VA hospital in Little Rock.
If the VA hospital is an example of socialized medicine, then I am proud to be a socialized medicine loving American.
0 -
I think everyone would agree that our veterans deserve good care!
pam
0 -
One thing that will improve care for all Americans is electronic record keeping and transmission of lab results. At the VA one gets a blood test and an hour later the results are on the physicians computer. It is the same thing with X-rays and most other lab tests.
When I go for a mammogram to the VA (my husband is 100% disabled so I can use the VA), I see the radiologist and we go over my mammogram together. If I need a biopsy, it is done immediately by the same radiologist if it is a needle aspiration or we schedule a biopsy within two weeks. I get a call from the radiologist himself with the results. My heart breaks for those who have to wait weeks and weeks for the simplest information.
I can get a hard copy of all my records, including doctors notes, after every visit by merely signing my name to a form and presenting ID. I order medications online through the VA site.
The VA is getting special funding to further develop electronic communications and we hope that we will be able to access our records and test results on line in the next year or so.
I have never waited longer than 10-15 minutes past my scheduled appointment, yet have never felt rushed by my doctor.
At least in Little Rock, veterans and their dependents are getting great care.
0 -
notself,
my husband goes to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville and they operate similarly. All his doctors can see his reports on line as soon as they are posted. Actually, my network of doctors who are all associated with the same hospital where my surgeries and scans and tests are done can all access my results. I always ask for and receive my scans on a CD and keep them in my own file. I have been impressed with how well everyone communicates even though they are not doctors operating in the same physical building. I don't know if they will open the system to patients someday but since they give me the CDs and mail written reports to me it seems to be working for me so far.
My PCP agreed to coordinate my care when I was first diagnosed and he has been great! As the need for each specialist arose, his office arranged my appointments, often the very next day (interventional radiologist, surgeon, rad onc, med onc, pulmonologist, etc). I was so lucky to have him do that for me. I think if you go to a breast cancer center you are assigned an advocate but when you are on your own it can be difficult to coordinate everything and everyone. And so often you don't know what you are going to need. Edited to add: the other thing my PCP does for me is call me with all test results, no matter who ordered the test. He gets them the same day and let's me know so when I see the ordering physician I am prepared with my sheet of questions. I cannot stand suspense!
I credit the wonderful women of this forum for always keeping me aware of what to expect next and guiding me in what to ask next. Couldn't have made it this far without you all!
pam
0 -
Notself - that's probably that Southern hospitality being practiced by the Little Rock VA. Kudos for them - our Vets have given so much.
So sorry to hear your DH has to go through so much to beat this but he also has you and so that's just icing on the cake. Hang in there.
0 -
patoo
My oncologist is from Syria. My husband's cardiologist is from India. My PCP is from New Mexico. My Radiologist is from New York. My brother's surgeon was originally from Chicago. The administrator of the hospital is from Washington DC. The nurses are from all over the US.
The hospitality is due to a work atmosphere that respects all people and puts the patient and patients family before all else. I guess that is Southern Hospitality.
0 -
Notself, I am sorry to hear about your brother, but both you and he seem fairly comfortable with the care he is getting. I go to the V.A. in Marion, Illinois and cannot complain one bit. I was only in the service for two years, but they have treated me as though I had been in for life.
Also, love the electronic records. Things can happen, but with the record system...it can be dealt with very quickly.
Not going to stay on....had a really long day and I know I will soon not be making any sense at all. I need to get to my recliner and relax. I'll see you all tomorrow.
Hugs, Jackie
0 -
OMG, I have just lost 2 posts... suddenly flipping to something about fertility, so not attempting a third one tonight.
Happy Easter to you all.
Isabella.
0 -
Oh you guys will never know how happy it makes me to hear all the good feedback on the VA- I was a Navy corpsman before I became a nurse.My husband and I will be on Tricare Prime soon - I really don't worry about it as it is what it is. Glad you are getting great care.
I have had the evil GI upset and have been hanging over the Porcelain Thrown all of last night and most of this morning and have not been too chipper today-
Won't linger Kathleen you can wear the colored basket ball sleeves and be very stylish- in our world- also they shouldn't hurt you for an occasion. My friend has LE and black sleeves and says she feels quite sexy in them.
Happy Easter to you all-Melissa
0 -
notself; Sorry about your brother, but I know about the care the VA gives, My husband used the Albq. VA for his health and they were right on top of things when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma. They sent us to the University of NM Cancer treatment center for the things they could not do, Like Radiation and they did not have a surgeon that was a specialist in the type of surgery he needed for the lymph node removal. He prefered the VA to UNM. The only problem was the trip we had to take, but they even put us up in a motel.
Hope everyone had a great Easter.
0 -
Good morning ladies. One other thing I can say that I truly felt VERY good about where V.A. medical care is concerned.....they tend to use some of the older well established drugs that not only have a proved track record, but se's seem in most cases more minimal. When I first went there ( Marion, Illinois ) they switched my drugs to what they "use" and my blood pressure got even better. They switched me from Plavix ( quite expensive ) to what they use....and I have not had one problem. Many of the newer drugs don't seem to work as well as what they use....and so many se's. Even some like Celebrex and Vioxx (sp??) and hope no one takes these too much had lawsuits from bad se's. I took Vioxx for a bit, but was of short duration after stroke and during physical therapy. Thank goodness did not have to stay on it long.
Going to be another fantastic day here. In the low 80's. I am looking out my office window knowing that soon I'll be finding it hard to see my neighbor's house. Back here on our lane.....it is hard for most people to even know there is another road --- the very small street sign is about all that gives us away. That and some mail boxes.
Melissa....sorry to hear your Easter was not so great. Hope you are feeling better today and that it was just a 24 hr. sort of thing. I'm not good at throwing up so I try very hard not to do it. Well, ok, the real truth is that for the most part ( except for chemo ) I seem to have a cast iron stomach and the fates are good to me......I just don't get the tummy miseries. I think it comes from eating hot pickled veggies and trying never to eat much of anything late but popcorn.
Hope you all will have a fantastic day.
Hugs, Jackie
0 -
-
Hope everyone had a good day yesterday. So sorry you were sick, Melissa. That will be an advantage when you retire... less exposure to common bugs. When we worked (and when the grandchildren were little) we caught everything. Hardly ever sick now, knock on wood :-) That is, if you don't count breast cancer :-[We met some of our family half way yesterday for a nice meal. But I just do not like to do holidays out. Too crowded and noisy and too much time pressure. And no little ones to hunt Easter eggs with. :-(Are any of us in Southern California and experienced the earthquake? SoCalisa??? Did you feel it? Take pictures? DD and family south of LA felt it strongly. She said hanging lights and fans were really swinging and it made them feel seasick. Wow! I will take a hurricane any day of the week.BEST news ever...DH is no longer a vegan! He did not last as long as Kathleen's aunt and uncle! i am thrilled. Life is almost back to normal. He is usually very disciplined and I was afraid he could do it. I think being a true vegan demands a higher level of motivation than just health... I think you have to make the moral leap to see consuming animals as barbaric. I think we all agree it is... but choose not to think about it. At least that's how I rationalize it. OK, I'll admit it... vegans are just better people. But not being married to one is a lot easier on me!If I page back to recall what everyone was talking about I will lose my post so just saying hi to you all. Enjoy the beautiful weather.pam0
-
I'M BETTER! YEAH A 24 HOUR R=THING ALTHOUGH I BROUGHT THE PEPTO WITH ME TO WORK. DH packed the curios cabinet as I recovered and he feels really good about that- he is a fretter about the movers- you military gals know- if IT anit moving they pack it! One time friends had been over and on the picnic table was a dirty ashtray- you got it packed up cigy-butts and all! How gross is that to all the non smokers of the world- like me0 VERY- glad the cat was quick at the time.
I only work 3 days this week, Thursday and Friday the movers are at the house and DH wants 2 sets of eye on things- We leave for Page AZ Friday and spend 2 days with my sis, then onward- EAST! How wonderful- there is the little snag- which I created and want to do so not so much of a snag- I am flying back here on the 28th , have my 6 mo. s/p surgery MRI and see my surgeon for the last time- Need her blessing- them I am out into the world- last day in LV, May 19th! Can't wait.
I hope everyone had a great day for Easter- DH's MOM- kicked us out of her life for Easter and so be it- families- we are such a small one but as she ages her brain works in strange ways. as Jackie says, "Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit." LOVE THAT- THANKS AGAIN JACKIE-.
BETTER RUN LOVE YA
0 -
We helped DS and wife unpack a few years ago. They had about 20 7-11 plastic slurpy cups. Each one was carefully wrapped in several layers of bubble wrap! Guess there is no room for common sense in the moving industry.
Whooowhoooo for Melissa! Counting down.
pam
0 -
Ah Pam, there is lots of common sense, but someone seeing a chance to subtract from their bill would sue if anything happened to the slurpies. We are so sue happy. You really long at this time for the really good old days where people did use their heads --- lawsuits, if they came actually had tons of merit --- no million dollar lawsuit for a lady who spilled hot coffee on herself because she put it between her legs --- Hello, you nitwit -- it's coffee. No good if its cold, and did anyone at Mickey D's tell you to put it between your legs -- I think not.
Ok that's my tirade, but I do long for those days now and then.
Must get out of here and do some work....though I have been running the vac and the washer and cleaning windows in between....now my feral cats are hungry....and I need to get Maggie done and if I have any starch left....home for some more fun. See all of you later.
Glad you are much better Melissa...was hoping 24 hr. thingy. See ya then.
Hugs, Jackie
0 -
notself- your dear brother- I am so sad for his diagnosis- know that I will be praying for him, his physicians and all of your family. We sure don't get to pick, and hopefully he has smart, compassionate doctors and nurses.
I have to find a real hot cross bun to try- I went back and did some reading and they sound tasty- I will look up the receip and see what I find- Alyson maybe you can check out what I find.
I completed a big project at my work today- I am very determined to clean things up well- as when I came there was tons of old filing, etc- you know all the stuff we don't like to do.
I am too excited- the packers will be here soon and the movers the next day- can't get out of vegas fast enough.
Better sign off, just dropped in to say hi- hope everyone is having a great day and I will check in later-
anyone playing golf?
0 -
I used to play golf but my husbands knees are so bad that we quit. We have started the grandnephews and grandniece with lessons. Out of 11 only two are still interested. The rest prefer swimming, soccer, etc.
0 -
I've been reading this thread but not participating. I will be 68 at the end of this month. My 4 sons range from 36 to 43. I only feel like I am about 30 and am astonished when people in their 50's consider themselves in the "older" people category.
The slurpy cup thing I sort of get. My husband and I moved from a house we'd lived in for 31 years to our present one 5 years ago. As I cleaned cabinets I found things like "Hi Ho the Cherry-O" games. I had a huge garage sale. Also we spent lots of money fixing up the house to sell it. I learned my lesson and in our new house I get new things when I need it. I intend to enjoy things and not just get in for whoever buys my home in the future. Of course this month I had the rebellion of household goods. Right after we purchased a new couch and sofa set the water heater and our bedroom TV went kaputz within a week of each other and had to be replaced.
The one topic I haven't seen alot of is the issue of how cancer has affected finances. We retired with enough money (or so we thought) to live for 30 years on investments. This year I had 3 lumpectomies til my margins were clear. I had 2 cataract surgeries (one $1,100 due to a congenital eye defect) and MRIs of course the radiation treatment. I have a medicare advantage plan with copays and spent an unanticipated several thousand dollars this year on health. Of course it had to be done and we have plenty left but I wonder what will happen if other years are as bad medically as this year.
I also lost a long term friend as she kept telling me that my doctors were all wrong and I was doomed to metasticize all over the place and die. She wanted me to apologize to her when I told her this was stupid and hurtful advice. I know I did the right thing by dropping her as a friend after trying repeatedly to get her to see things from my viewpoint. Still it was a loss.
0 -
flyingdutchess: With friends as negative as that you don't need enemies. Any way about the finances. I am still in t'he working world and am lucky enough to have a fantastic insurance. I have met my out of pocket so every thing is paid 100% now. But I am living on my disability which barely covers my monthly bills. No nest egg since it disapeared with hubby's cancer 2 years ago. Due to the lack of life insurance not to my negligence. But due to the fact somewhere down the line in contracts it got cut to $2000 from $10000, in the last 15 yrs. and no one caught it. So I had a funeral to pay for plus other expenses due to his business. But life goes on and I am determined to beat this and work at least 2 to 5 yrs. more so I can have a comfortable retirement. Get out there and enjoy life to the fulllest.
0
