Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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What a nice surprise to come back and find so many friendly and helpful welcome messages. I'm sure you all know lots about how you go from feeling like doing everything to feeling like doing nothing at all. It seems silly, I'm a mystery writer with the 3rd in my series half finished and you'd think with all this time off from work and not much at all to do I'd be writing like mad whenever I felt good -- Nope, not a word, can't even think myself into the story world. In fact, this is probably the most I've chatted to anyone outside immediate family since this started in January. My mom, by the way, had an MX when she was about 55, and she's going to be 91 next month and is still going strong. I'm diabetic, type II, and my blood sugars are kind of wacky right now so everything seems high or low; also since I'm in Canada my medical situation is different. On the plus side is we never pay for any hospital, surgical or other treatments at all and my co-insurance with my work picks up everything that provincial healthcare blue cross doesn't pay so there are no medical expenses; on the negative side doctor's are hard to find and specialists have to be referred by GPs. I had no doctor when I found the lump but went to a walk-in clinic and the GP there sent me for all the tests immediately, but until the biopsy came back with the confirmation I wasn't even able to see the surgeon (who turned out to be a terrific doctor) and as yet I've not seen anyone else, but once the pathology comes back from the sentinel node removed during my MX I'll be referred to the cancer center here and then I'll have a lot more questions answered. I've been given a lot of material to read and links to places, but everywhere I've gone seemed not to be a fit for me, so I'm thrilled to find this forum with so many women in my age group. Again, thank you so much all for your welcome. Jude
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Sorry you are joining our group, Jude. Welcome. If you are having chemo, a medical oncologist is the doctor who handles that part of the treatment process. Radiation is handled by a radiation oncologist - My experience with doctors and specialists. Hugs and Blessings, Nancy
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I have not been told I have to take Arimedex (I took it before - for a different thing) or Famara or Tamoxifen (Took it for 5 years after a large mass was removed--benign but they thought it could come back )
I am hoping I won't have to. The SE's were awful for me, night sweats and hot flashes. I was MISERABLE. Thank God I am not taking that now. Since I have everything else to go thru, maybe they are just not telling me until the time comes. I guess I worry about it later.
Thanks for the words about treating myself well. I do push a little but really, it's not a choice. I have to veg at anight or my legs give out--Is it Friday yet? My chemo is done on Friday!0 -
Hey Jude - welcome to our (I am afraid to say not a very exclusive one since 1 out of 8 women get this thing called bc) little club.
I too am an overweight diabetic and boy does it slow down healing.
Motherof7 - I too stopped having periods when I was 49 and never had hot flashes. I don't have to be on any medicine so I still don't have hot flashes. I have been hot all my lie so hot flashes would have done me in
Good night all - I am exhausted - have been reading posts half the night and it is now after midnight.
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Nice to meet you Kathleen, you are sure right about slowing healing, and everything else; my sugar levels have gone crazy and am so struggling to sort this out - and sleep, that's another territory all the way; I'm trying to handle hubby going back to work, so he's got to get up on time, he took my surgery week off and has been with me; but I have to have the TV to sleep now; old game shows, reruns of everything, cooking shows, doesn't matter what, as long as it's low and is a hum I can take one of my sleeping pills and finally fall; no noise, no pill, no sleep. I know this I need to sort this out, but right now the minute I let my brain have an open space to think forget it - there's going to be no sleep that night - so I fill it with NCIS and Mentalist reruns.
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Try this website for full episodes of TV programs - reruns. My latest favorite is Burn Notice and Monk.
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Hey Chemo "Chooks" All! (btw, where is AussieSheila?? She planted the "chooks" seed and now I can't get it out of my brain--it may well be the only thing left up there).
I've been laughing hard as I scrolled through some of our forum. Wouldn't it be fun to have us ALL in the same room in person, then we could repeat our "conversations" and guess who we are based on what we say?? Our comments run from "tukus"--new one for me, Spring, to how we were lucky not to contract samonella, to sharing ways to survive the side effects of this plague, all made with genuine caring and empathy...it's absolutely amazing. We could try to identify each other from more than the little avitars--I would be the one with something sticking out of my shirt (day after lupectomy I was teaching a class, so stuffed an ice pack in my bra and went on--slightly disfigured, but why not; or the first day of chemo,when I didn't realize I would not need an entire 8 1/2 x 11" sheet of Saran Wrap to cover the port-lidocaine area).
Anyway, the point of this rambling is: We are special--special to our families, friends, and maybe most important, to each other. Not one of us knows why our "number" was selected in this lottery--but we can hold each other up when the goin' gets hard.
Nuff said. Now, please send warm thoughts my way as I go to be with the friend who has gone to all of my surgeon, onco, radiologist appointments, has taken notes and held my hand. She called me last night and told me she was diagonsed with BC yesterday. I'm praying for the strength to be as strong for her as she has been for me. Love you all! Helen
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Good morning everyone
Mine is half and half. It's dreary ot of doors and cool now since the rain. Otherwise it's ok. I changed my little avatar......my little Pomeranian Baby Boss was there but ( don't tell him ) I was tired of it and needed a change. You'll find I'm like that. My Dh used to say he had a new house every week because when I did my weekly cleaning I could not stand it if I did not re-arrange the furniture too. Gram of 3/Helen....you are very much in my thoughts. I think you are right on too. You/we are special but certainly not in the way we might have one time dreamed of long ago. I feel like anything that can so dramatically sweep into your life forever changing, disrupting, re-arranging, to the point where you willingly have parts and pieces removed and then have poison injected and then get radiation applied for weeks needs the care and camaraderie received through a group like this. It is just a very wonderful thing that we are in an age where there are computers and things like blogs so that it is possible. As marvelous as many of my friends were, as comforting and kind as they were, there was a very noticeable difference between how I related to them once I got into actual treatment. They just didn't and couldn't know. They are still precious to me and I know always will be, but there is place they don't know and I can't explain. To all of you, I don't have to explain and often this is where I need to be.
So I come to share some energy and thoughts, ideas, and refresh my hope and optimism that I am meant to go on and perhaps in the process help someone else along the way.
And I am sending all the positive warmth I can Helen...to you and your friend. Praying for a good outcome.
Jackie
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Hi all...just to let you know I too had my colonoscopy today and enjoyed your stories. Mine was uneventful....a lot easier than the first I had 15 years ago. All clear and nothing for five years. And YES ...you always think it's the big C.
My experience was with neuprogen but I would sit at the table before giving myself the shot and try to postpone it a few minutes....I usually felt awful with lots of bone pain. The only thing that helped was Aleve ( one of the nurse practiioners suggested it) You have to be careful if you have bleeding issues or on coumadin. It usually passed the day after the last shot ( I did three a week) while I was on Tax. Never could finish AC
Glad to hear msmiller good news re your daughter.
Jude I had a mast on one side. By four weeks I felt great but then I started chemo. Driving a standard shift with no power steering made driving a problem initially.
I hated the crazy predinose sleepless nights. Doc prescribed one ativan for the first night after chemo so I slept. I've learned from this experience that sometimes you do need to take medication...something I was very resitant to prior to bc. I didn't even like to take a tylenol. Now I realize sleep and rest is important, even now.
My bulbs are all coming up at last...they are peaking through the last of the snow. Yipee.
Maire
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Evenin.....
Reading all of your posts put tears in my eyes tonight.....I had a really bad experience today with one of my best friends of 43 years who has totally not been there for me in any way throughout this journey....she has been flippant and made light of it all and more or less told me on one or more occasions to just get on with it....its over, forget about it....tonight I put into words to her how hurt I am and how disappointed I was to find out I couldnt count on her in anyway....I wrote it from the heart with as much kindness as I could and it had to be said cause it has been driving me crazy.....my point being.....how each and everyone of you is here for me....and for all of us....whether I post every day, or 6 times a day or twice a month....I know you are all here, I know you all care, I know you share my fears and my triumphs as I do yours....and I thank God for proving to me that when doors close, windows always open.
Susan I am SO happy for you and your daughter....you have both been in my very long nightly prayers.
Gramof3 ( I am also a gram of 3 *s*) my heart breaks for you and your friend....but this is your chance to give your heart to someone else for strength and for love....this is our gift now, I have stepped into the role at work of doing all the breast cancer patient pre testing and I cannot do enough for the women who are at the start of the road....it is oddly funny how it goes though....just 3 months before I was diagnosed a dear friend of mine got her diagnosis and I was organizing all the fund raisers and gifts of support for her....and in the blink of an eye I had my own diagnosis...and then everyone was there for me....and so it goes on and on just like the circle of life.....well....cept for what I was talking about earlier. *rolling eyes*
I am WAY to yakky tonight.....
for my dear friend JO I will address breast pain tomorrow night to the Pros .....
Love to all
Jan
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Hi Jan, I couldn't help but respond to your post. For every person who doesn't get it, I hope you will find 3 that do. I had a person who I thought was a good friend who I supported through a very difficult time in her life. She too didn't get it. She told me to get over it, my chemo was all about when SHE could visit, not when I felt up to having a visitor. She just recently said in front of me that she never gets sick....she wouldn't know about anything medical. Even three years after I've written her off, it felt like a slap in the face.
I have decided that this particular person is frightened of sick people, afraid of getting old and can only really count her value by her appearance. I now feel sorry for her....she has a rough time coming as "life happens"
Take heart and remember all the great people you will meet. Other patients, family who will step up when you least expect it. Friends you never knew you had. Have a great evening. Maire
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Evening, All:
Jo: I just sent you a PM.
Jan: You are so on target. sharing is what's all about--and we can each do it in our own way--and sometimes as a group ( go "seasoned ladies!").
I'm back to whatever normal is for me--next tx, I'll allow a little extra time for unanticipated psychotic episodes! Nite all. Helen
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You guys give me warm fuzzies!! Thank you for all of your support. I realize my problems are teeny weeny compared to most on here, and I am nothing but grateful for that! I have to say, I barely check out the other forums now that we have our own safe haven.
Just knowing you're all here caring and sharing is such a blessing. With that, I'm off to beddy and maybe a bit of "American Idol"!
Susan
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Susan, Helen. Maire and Jan....you all said it so eloquently. Some people do drop out of our lives -- I did lose a couple, but in hindsight I think I was aware of 'a problem' and just thought I had to work through it. This I think happens so often to us as the home-makers and caregivers. We put on bandages and kiss ouchies and are cleaning up messes and probably miss little and some times subtle signs that some people never were the friend we thought they were. I have a bad habit of thinking any deficiency must be mine in some way; I am learning to trust myself and not just assume these things that should be a two-way street are up to me. I took on this role of make it right so long ago and it has been a bit of a difficult lesson, but one that needed learning. I don't really have to save the world at large anymore.....now I just need to be there for the ones who are there for me. And because of a rotten disease I know who is who now. I have gained so much more than I lost. Nite all.
Jackie
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So we all have lots of other problems than cancer..... My son (adopted) hasn't even called me since he heard of my bc. His wife either. Long, long story behind them, but I am so very hurt by him. Although it's not the first time he's acted uncaring, it still hurts. His dad and I were divorced in 1993 (or was it 1994?), anyhow, his dad told him after we adopted him, I got pregnant, then didn't want him anymore but the social service dept wouldn't take him back. Now, I ask you, is that something to tell your son??? My son, at the time, was only 18, so I could understand his being gullible...But today, he's 36 and old enough to know better. So, we didn't talk for about 6 yrs., then he married. His wife MADE him start talking to me, coming to holiday gatherings, and making sure I was in my grandkids lives (3 g'daughters). Long story short, his wife was having an affair. I ran into them at JC Penneys one day during my lunch. I gave her time to get home, called her, asked if she was cheating on my son. Her answer was "yes". We talked about an hour. blah blah blah......he finally found out about her affair about 2 wks later. Soo, me and my daughter are very upset over him being hurt....Nothing was ever said out of the way to the wife. As a matter of fact, I kind of took up for her because I know he'd not been being very good to her (another story of its own). Anyhow, she decides that until they get this 'affair' stuff worked out, they would have nothing to do with family (just his side of family--meaning me and my daughter). The wife already hated my son's dad (my ex)... That's been a year ago. Since then, we meet them to get the g'daughters, then meet again to take them home........ I'd told the g'daughters on their last visit here that I was having surgery and assured them everything would be ok. They told their mom and dad and that's the last of it.....
How can we spend our lives raising our kids the best we know how, sitting up with them every night they're sick, seeing them thru school and watch them graduate colletge and then they act like we don't matter.
Am I wrong? I wish I could write all the things that's gone on with this wife of his, but he loves her.. I've always defended her to the rest of the family. No one has ever liked her but put on a good act in front of him....
Ok, need to go to bed and forget about this. Just makes me more depressed and that's something I don't need right now.
Nite all!! You ladies are simply the best.
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I just want to tell Maire how jealous I am of her flowers, I have another month to wait, share some pictures if you can! Susie the flower lover
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Flowers, we have flowers..
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Oh Lisa! You've done it again...WOW! Such gorgeous flowers!
Jan, I had two friends who pretty much deserted me during my journey. One never called, came over, or offered any type of help. The other reminded me that I wasn't the first person to get bc and wouldn't be the last. I just had to do what was needed to get rid of it. I was crushed. The first one is no longer around. She made her exit and I never pursued it. The second is still a friend, but has no comprehension of what goes through our minds on a daily basis. I was talking about my onc appointment that I have tomorrow and mentioned how anxious I am and she says, "After a year and a half, it should be easy by now." So I come here, where everybody understands! Hugs!
Rita
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Hi, I haven't been around much. It's official, I was just diagnosed with stage 4 yesterday. I was cancer free for almost 4 years as my anniversary would have been in April.
My advice for anyone saying it should be easy now? Just tell them about me.
Nicki
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Hugs (((((((((((((((nicki))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Nicki.....so sorry to get your news. You have the use of all our prayers and strength here.
Jackie
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Mikita I will have lots to say about your post later. Have to go to work soon, but I am touched with what you have shared. Just wanted you to know that. So often it is family that "handles" poorly.
Jackie
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Here chook, chook, chook, here I am again Gram, ( I would put a smiley here but, everytime I try, gobbledegook text appears where the smiley should be.) We used to have a state premier who would say when he was having a press conference, "I'm going to feed the chooks!" He's been gone about 20 yrs and the press still bring it up, they must have hated that phrase.
JO5, I am on Arimidex and I do seem to experience some pain both in the inner armpit (close to where the bra cup curves down to the underarm,) of my bad right mx arm and sometimes around the same area on my left. I'm sure it's not my bra, as I only wear one when I have to go out or have visitors. I have only been on this med since Nov 08 so I'm not sure what is normal yet. I am still waiting for any signs of major se's as the Arimidex builds up in my system.
Gee Nicki, I am so sorry to hear your news. What can anyone say to another woman who is joining this club? I hope, like me, your stage IV can be 'controlled' for a long time without your QOL being reduced by side effects.
I remember years ago when someone had warts (from touching frogs, doncha know?) the old chooks would tell you to give them to someone else and they would miraculously disappear. Wouldn't it be great if we could do that? The question then arises, of course, who would you give your BC to?
When I had my mx 14yrs ago, the surgeon who operated was not a specialised breast surgeon. After I had recovered a bit, I found that I had a new 'boob' under my right arm. The surgeons reply, when questioned about this, was that it was a new thing that allowed the dispersal of the lymph fluid and so I would not get lymphoedema. For the most part I have been lucky and not had any major episodes so far. But, due to this boob-oo, I cannot put my right arm very far behind me down low. Can you see where this is going yet? Yeah well, you're right! I had to learn to wipe my behind with my left hand. Which isn't so bad in the great scheme of things, is it? Except! Every time I sit on the commode and perform this um . . . . . ritual, my right hand does all the same motions, (couldn't help myself there) as my left, right in front of me. I have tried to stop doing this, but everytime I rush in there and get down to business, there it is, 14yrs later, doing this stupid action in mid air. I always lock the door on the toilet, as I wouldn't want anyone to walk in accidently and see me with my hand in the air, doing its own squiggly thing.
Sheila.
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Marie, glad the butt procedure came back with good news! I go on the 16th for the Pre appt to the procedure. I guess this is where they give you the goop to drink or the pills, and schedule the actual procedure...
Lisa, beauuuuutiful!
Nicki,
how are you doing? what a thing... HUGS. 0 -
Hi Ladies,
A great and blessed day to all of you.
I had a dose of Herceptin yesterday, everything went o.k., but when we were on the way home, my car broke down. They say it is the timing chain. If it's not one thing, it's two, but by the grace of Jesus Christ, I am so blessed!
I promised you all that I would let you know about my cousin, Junior, well the news is not good.
I talked with Betty yesterday. The Dr. told them that the lump under his arm is as big as a grapefruit, they are going to do surgery on the 23rd, the Dr. said he didn't know how deep he would have to go. Also, the brain scan they did, they say he has cancer in his brain, Betty said they told her they believed it was a 4, and they're not sure if radiation will help or not. He has an appointment with the blood Dr. on the 18th, then they will check his prostrate. The Dr. also told them that he has some pollocks in his liver and his lung.
Can you believe he is still trying to work? What he is so concerned about is how will Betty make it without him, she told him not to worry about her, that she would survive. She told me what is worrying her so is that she has to keep working so she would have insurance on him.
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Helen... How is your friend doing? Guess God has prepared you ahead of time to help her now. What strange plans he has for our lives. Although I think all of us would have much rather the plan was different!
And yes I have to agree with several of you about finding out who our friends are. I have some magnificent friends that have been with me every step of the way. But it amazes me that a couple of friends have absolutely fallen off the face of the earth. Especially one. I never expected to not even hear a word... phone call... email... nothing! And she was one of the closest friends I ever had. Just so confusing. After 9 months of no contact I actually let myself email her telling her how I felt and haven't heard one thing back now. That was 3 weeks ago. Phone goes to message with no response. I don't expect her to come running or do anything special. Just would like at least a "how are you doing" "This is what's going on in my world." Just some normal everyday life events. But I'm not going to spend my time worrying any longer. Life is too short and my family and other friends have been a blessing. I hope I can be for them in return.
Nicki..... you have the upmost support here! One day at a time girl. Share whenever you want. We want to know...
Hugs..
Debbie
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Lisa the flowers are beautiful. We have snow today but I see some buds on my lilac bushes, always a good sign. Nicki, cancer sure sucks, glad you have joined us here, nice to meet you and a big hug.
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Okay ..Socalisa....you have the best flowers ( a cool name)...all year..Wow. Should I move there and miss the ice, snow, sleet, raking leaves, hurricanes, and August humidity? No I ‘love ?' the change of seasons.J along with ‘seasonal allergies' I'm just crazy that way. I'll see if I can get a picture on the weekend. They are a few baby yellow crocus. I've got my seed farm going in the house for May. But thank you for all that California produce that comes back East in the winter.
Nicki..you have given us all some really good insight today. Hold on. Approaching 4 years and everytime I start to feel I can do this...I panic that I'm tempting fate. Hugs
Aussie Sheila...you are sooooo funny...Can't tell those stories to my friends but we all appreciate those ‘dilemmas'
Springtime...good luck with your procedure. It's really not bad after the prep ..and that's just annoying. You need to stay close to the bathroom for a couple of hours...and I mean really close.
Susan CNY oh lilacs are fabulous.
I figured out how to respond to all of you. I open a wordpad and type my comments after I read yours . My brain is very slow these days...I forget who wrote what. I'm working on names and avatars.
Maire0 -
Mandy1313
I tried to send you a PM, but I couldn't get it to work for me. There is a Cancer Center in Valdosta, GA where Junior lives. The news is bad for him. The cancer under his arm in his lymp nodes is as big as a grapefruit, they will do surgery on it the 23rd. The surgeon told them he didn't know how dep he would have to go. He also has cancer in his brain, he has pollicks in his liver and his lung. The surgeon told Junior and Betty, that he could only do so much, he said; the rest is up to God.
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