Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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I went to see my Onc today for quarterly check-up. I haven't actually seen her since last Dec as I have been put at the mercy of her students. Ahhh, the joys of our public health system.
I had 10 palliative rads to cervical neck for new growth in Jan. On the last day I was given a 'super-boost' shot to my left ribs for progression. This shot was upwards of 2 mins and five mins after leaving the room, I felt as if I was going to spontaneously combust from a massive dose of heat coming from the rib area. During the planning session the day before, they marked an area under my left (only) boob with a red cross and then covered it with skin like tape. The day after, home once again, I noticed that I had blisters around the square edge of where the tape had been.
So, today, I had another student, whom I told about pain in the left ribs getting worse and he goes off for 15 mins and eventually returns with my Onc. After going into 'whinge-fest' mode and repeating all I had told her understudy, she told me that I had had the boost to my spine! I said NO! They marked my chest front and to the left and said they were doing my ribs. She said NO! They did my spine as the pain I had was probably referred pain from my spine. My DH attends all consults with me and asks as many questions as I do and he didn't realise that I was having a super-boost to the spine. How can we ask the right questions if we don't know what they are talking about?
I was born English, speak only English and yet I don't understand half of what's going on, must be the Arimidex S.E's.
Anyway, the upshot is that I will be having another bone scan on Monday and things may or may not progress from there.
Isabella.
The set in the box has GGrandmothers initials engraved into the handle of every piece of cutlery in the box so I can't sell it and I would rather it stay in that box so I don't have to clean it all the time. If I can't see it, I don't have to clean it, do I?
Sheila.
Grrrrr, I hate cleaning silver!
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Julia,
I think I would be fairly happy if I got to 80.
I wouldn't be 18 again for a million $'s, unless I could take all the knowledge I have now, back with me.
At 18, we think we are so grown up and can't be told anything and yet we are always trying to copy/follow the latest fashions in clothes, language and attitude; continually in flux as we try to keep up. When we stuff up, we crawl off somewhere to cry at the humiliation.
At least at this end of the spectrum, we know who we are and accept it, mostly, and don't mind if we make the odd faux pas. Nowadays, I put these events down to eccentricity, or Arimidex, and laugh at myself.
Sheila.
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So sorry Sheila, you're having such a difficult time of it. I hope things turn around fast and you get the best possible care. Good point on the issue and I agree with your perspective totally. We are so busy in our youth, our life's work is to emulate someone or something else that we are not. Maturity brings an acceptance and hopefully a confidence to be free to be who we truly are.
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Recent studies report the worlds' happiest people are in Denmark. My Danish SIL says it is more a matter of contentment than happiness. There is so much angst when we are young and so many things to work out; relationships and careers and money issues. If it weren't for health problems, I would have no problems at all! That could be a country-western song! :-)
pam
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Hi SV
I am wondering why your DR thought that rads would be a year to recover? I do know that YES, the skin is burned like a sun burn and YES the breast changes in size and appearance. BUT nothing that is extreme or harmful and maybe to get back to what it looked before takes a year but not a reason NOT to do this.
All of what you post was explained to me, but I still decided to go for the Radiation.
Then after will start on Arimidex.
You do not appear to have had any spread to your lymph nodes....THAT is a very good sign. I had two cancerous lymph nodes removed with the lump.
Good Luck with your decision.
Anne
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Thanks to everyone for remembering my Birthday and sending me all of those good wishes.
Okay now for today, the first day to starting my journey to 80 years....If that is where I will feel the best, I say OKAY!
75 years old and a way to go...
Anne
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A little late, Ann, but heartfelt
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Someone else's words on the age of 80 before mine:
A man's age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man's age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell
I do think as the others -- that 18 is not a very contemplative time. I think for many ( especially those who like me grew up in a town of 200 people ) you barely feel a part of the world and you have spent by that time a few years being schooled about how responsible you will have to be the rest of your life. There is, as Pam so aptly noted a lot of angst going on in a teen's life. Everything in front of you generally represents some desire of some kind be it large or small. There is a whole world in front of you but it often seems like it might be hard to get there. At least mine sure did.
Now by 80 -- you have done lots of living and you have lots of experiences. You can put it together and I think start to get notions of just how you got where you are and feel more comfort about where you are going. Already ( it will be awhile til' I'm 80 as I won't be 65 until September ) I can look back and trace all the twists and turns that I had to go through to prepare for wanting very much to work with and discover spirituality -- not necessarily religion. It was a meandering course to say the least.
Julia is very astute -- I too think by 80 we have learned that like honey catching more than vinegar ever could or did, it is love, self love, love of others, love of all that surrounds us -- we could have so many bountiful gifts now if we used love rather than the hate, greed, avarice, lies, and all the vices that come through negativism. Everything comes back -- I think by 80, sure hope so anyway, that we want love, and happiness, and calm inspiration and serenity and all the positive things life has to offer coming back to us. We have wised up finally. Much love to all of you -- because that is what I'd like back.
Big hugs, Jackie
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Sheila, so sorry you're having such a rough time. I can sympathise on the health system thing. Altho' we get things free, its a very second class system against those who can afford to pay. It makes me really mad, as the same doctors who work for our health service, also do private practice, and you can wait months to see them at normal hospitals, but can be seen within 3-4 days if you pay !!
I have to crawl under a stone now to tell you this . I actually PAID for my double mast. I thought a bit of privacy, nicer surroundings would make it all right....how very wrong I was !!!!!!!!! I went back into the health system for my rads, and follow up treatment, mainly because of the exhorbitant costs. I had to wait nearly FIVE months before I got some rads. I didn't know it needed doing as soon as I was healed...no-one was going to tell me that ! I had 'extensive vascular invasion', and STILL no-one thought to tell me it was important to get on with the rads. I always said they were doing it this way because I tried to be clever and do it my way !!
I have to admit tho' the private care was better than good. A nice private room, own bathroom, nurses buzzing about all the time, anything I wanted. When I went back into normal healthcare system I was in a room of 12, grotty curtains between us all for privacy, and HORRIBLE camping site type communal 'washrooms' for want of a better word.
Years ago I almost joined a private hospital insurance scheme.....never got round to it, always was talking about doing it. HOW I wish I'd done it, it wasn't very much per month, in the scheme of things, but I never thought I would need private care, so never rushed..... then it was too late. I could have joined, but the monthly fees were unbelievable when I got older, and looked again, and thought I'd better get on with joining !!
How many 'if only I'd knowns' we all regret as we get older !!!!!
Isabella.
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WOW, I am reading all of these posts and you ladies are some ofthe bravest women i know. it is a shallow comment compared to the terrible expereinces a lot of us have ad are goin gthrough, but man, the courage, strength and stamina it takes for us to have gotten even this far along in our treatment is just a miracle to me. thank you all for being here. The biggest issue for me in all of this is that i have let myself go so badly and i am in such poor health-in all of that the top issue is that i am now more than obese-i am like at 250 pounds. yes, i was increadible athletic at 225 pounds (i used to be a size 2) and worked the beach every day-fishing playing whatever, for 12 hours a day. now, i cannot sit in the sun for an hour without getting dehydrated and my heart going wierd. GEESSSS this is just so not right!! Anne, i think my doc is looking at my past history and trying to give me a truthful guess at what i should expect at my age and my lack of heath if i move forward with any more treatment. love you all, SV
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Hi all
SV, I would say that from where I sit, it begins with one step...I know that seems silly, but to get onward and upward...you have to take that first step, which of course leads to the next.
After active treatments, I was so down and out that I could not get up off the toilet or floor, my PT asked me when I started the PT, "what is your goal? ". I said to be able to walk up three steps...and to get up off the toilet and floor,..she said, " no really " I said with tongue in cheek, " play tennis again"..she told me to hold that thought...so after every session she would have me do five minutes of exercise with that in mind..In the meantime, I had to build up every single muscle as they had all atrophied, even finger exercises..
You would think that in this state, I would have been slender, but no, I was obese..,the PT lasted over six months and then I was on my own...I did lose thirty pounds and I do now play tennis once again. It was not easy, and it was very challenging and at times depressing, but one step at a time I did it..
So please, don't give up the fight...as Nike says "just do it"
sending hugs, SoCal
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Isabella, I'm so sorry you and countless others have to endure such sub-standard healthcare. It's shocking that you had to wait 5 months for rads. No one should have to wait for necessary treatment, there's got to be a better system. I wonder how the doctors and other healthcare professionals sleep at night withholding from one and administering to another with a fatter wallet.
Meaningful and inspirational as always Jackie. Hopefully, we all wise up to what's relevant. And we don't necessarily have to wait till we're 80 for it to kick in. Unfortunately, a life-threatening situation garners similar perspective. I love that... "A fine cargo of experiences and memories", a graphic image providing the insight for revelation and awareness.
Love the song Pam, a sure hit!
I admire your fortitude, SoCal. Wishing your backhand is as strong as your backbone.
Have a great weekend!
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Jackie, I just love your words of wisdom and that kitten in your avatar!
Anne...so sorry that I missed your birthday. Belated birthday wishes from me! I hope you had a great day!
Sheila, I'm sending good vibes for your upcoming bone scan! Please let us know the results as soon as you get them. Hugs! I'm so sorry that you've been having such a tough time of it. Hang in there!
Well I'm off to enjoy this sunshine today. I waited all winter for this! Everyone have a great day!
Rita
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I appreciate the good wishes any time. Roses how beautiful. Thank you Lisa.
Anne
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My Aunt took a turn for the worse Wednesday...She will not pull out of this.
She broke her hip, after quite a few too many falls, bruisings, and scalded legs at an acute mental facility she was taken to after she became 'aggressive' at her nursing home. It was pointless complaining too much, the staff all stuck together, got their stories exactly in synch, and all denied what was happening. The inevitable happened, she had one fall too many, and ended up having her hip broken in yet another fall, had to have it pinned, but was treated in a very good hospital.
Unfortunately, they couldn't keep her there indefinitely so she went back to her nursing home, who are now giving her absolutely fantastic care,. She was obviously going to be bedridden, probably forever, but she was warm, very clean, and had a lot of visitors. Then, the dreaded happened, she caught a chest infection, which has turned to pneumonia. She stopped eating and communicating, and is now just on liquids. I got the call Wed. evening, drove straight over, she is an hour from me, spent all night, and up until 5.30am with her....had to get back home to sort out my animals, can't leave them to themselves.
Thursday evening I did the same, had to come home at 2 .45 am because my heart was starting to palpitate..... ended up in ER again this morning, as soon as I got there it all cooled down ! ( I had been told to go straight in if it started again...was put on ECG...AND SENT HOME TO REST HA HA.)
This evening nursing home rang me , could I get there NOW....OK OK... I was off again, this time DH didn't argue, he just pulled his 4WD out and took me......we have just got back, after spending almost 6 hours sat there. There is no more anyone can do now, its just a matter of time, no more response at all from my Aunt, but she is comfy, so altho' I didn't want to leave her, I had to. I rang my brother, who lives much nearer than I, and TOLD him he had to get his backside there, and sit by the bed 'til I get back tomorrow ! But really I don't think she will last until tomorrow.
I am finding this very hard, I love my Aunt, she has always been there for me, when my mother (her sister) never was. She was a very vibrant, woman, no children of her own, who always introduced me as ' my favorite niece' ( there are 3 others ) She just loved clothes, we spent a lot of time shopping together, and she loved dancing, and holidays.
She is 89 so I suppose I can say she has had a fair innings, is not in any pain at all, and is being very well cared for. but it still is getting to me badly.
I have my g/son and another teen coming to work for me in the morning, so I have to stay put here to be able to sort them out. They will scrub out all my dog kennels, clean the cars, cut the grass, and do all the donkey work for me, but OMG they need supervising !!!!!!! Water fights, and lots of whoop whooping are the order of the day on a Saturday !!!!!
DD is screaming at me to rest, she will be descending on me as well tomorrow morning, so am preparing for her to read me the riot act !!! I think we women just respond to whatever is going on in a family and don't stop to smell the roses !!! Trouble is things just don't seem to quieten down any as we get older, and we think we can still go at the same pace !!!
I can't see me getting to many of my appointments for cardiology tests next week as I am sure there will be a funeral, and lots of other 'stuff' to sort out.
Isabella.
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Bless you, Isabella, for being such a loving niece. Thank goodness your aunt is comfortable and well cared for and not suffering. You are doing all you can... take care of yourself!
pam
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OH GOD ISABELLA, I AM SO VERY SORRY. PLEASE KNOW THAT MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOUR AUNT AND I SO HOPE THAT SHE IS UNAWARE OF THE TORTURE SHE IS HAVING TO ENDURE. GOD BLESS HER AND YOU.XXOOOO, SV
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IsabellaI second everything Pam said. It sounds like your Aunt had a good life and she had you and obviously adored you. It is hard to lose those we Love and hold dear -- it makes the world feel so empty and bleak for a while. You and she will be in my thoughts and prayers and I am hoping that you continue to find comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering in any way. You did all you could and she can go home to her eternity where everyone is well and happy.
Healing warm hugs, Jackie
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So sorry, Isabella..sending hugs...
please take care of yourself...
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Isabella, just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I am sure your aunt know that she is your favorite too. Take care of yourself. She would want that.
Kat
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Isabella, so sorry your aunt is so ill. Take care, be strong.
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So sorry about your Aunt but as you say she has had a full life. Thank Goodness she is out of it and not suffering. In the end she has her loved ones close by to comfort her on this last journey.
Try to be strong and accept the positive.
Anne
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I'm 62, diagnosed in 2005, triple negative, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. Went to my 5 year what I thought was a great day appointment, and had my first mammogram on both breasts. Hooray, all was clear. Then, the doctor did an exam and found the pea sized lump in the affected breast. Came back and was positive for the same type of cancer from first malignancy. Now I have to have a mastectomy and
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I'm 62, diagnosed in 2005, triple negative, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. Went to my 5 year what I thought was a great day appointment, and had my first mammogram on both breasts. Hooray, all was clear. Then, the doctor did an exam and found the pea sized lump in the affected breast. Did a biopsy right then, and it came back positive for the same type of cancer from first malignancy. Now I have to have a mastectomy and hopefully my tests will show no additional cancer. I have a great job and loads of responsibility, 4 children and 6 grandchildren. I am so tired. So scared. These boards are great.
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sjstrader,
So sorry that you are facing all of this again. I haven't been there, yet... but I am sure it is no easier the second time around. At least you have found this great group of women to support you through the fight.
Bless you and stick with us!
pam
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sjstrader, I too am glad you found us, but as most of us here ( at least, I think ) are not close yet to the supposed somewhat magical 5 yr. mark, I imagine it as very devastating to get that kind of news. Perhaps ambivalent too -- as even though the mammogram didn't show it --- it was found and therefore you have ample opportunity to hopefully "fix" things. You will be in my thoughts and I will be hoping and praying that the mastectomy will handle this and you can move on into a long, fruitful life with your wonderful family.
Hope you will stick with us here. We work hard at hand holding and supporting all needs to vent and yell and scream, if need be.
Warm hugs, Jackie
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Dear sjstrader, I'm so sorry you are faced with this revolting development yet again. With the help of a good medical team, your family and friends and a positive attitude you will beat this thing yet again. Devastating, no question about it, and we all here can relate, so do please come here anytime as often as you like for support, answers, anything at all as I can attest, it helps enormously in the journey and beyond. My best wishes to you. Julia
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Happy Sunday everyone,
I brought two of my friends along to celebrate the day. Despite the high humidity and heat of yesterday, Dh and I were able to have some morning coffee on our deck. This is always a treat as we lived right beyond a tree line in the woods with a lake off to our side. It's peaceful and pretty here and though we have a lot of trees -- we have a lot of fairly smooth ground where the house sits. Lots of green grass.
I am wondering about Miss Kitty. I have thought of you so often as of late and hoping you are ok. I'm doing laundry -- in my new machines. They are high efficiency machines and am I in love. It's true that the soap costs a lot more -- but I think it will prove out to be worth it. Anyway, will have to do my usual today -- though I do try and not work so hard on Sunday as I like to have time to reflect on my blessings and the beauty that is in this world. See you all later.
Many hugs, Jackie
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What a bummer! I am so surprised that a mammogram did not show this lump. Thank Goodness for the Doctor checking further. I hope this is indeed a very small one and has not invaded any lymph nodes.
I am so sorry you have to face this all again. I wish you the best and know that all will be okay again.
Anne
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