Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • lebrecht
    lebrecht Member Posts: 56
    edited June 2010

    Lisa those flower pictures are absolutely breath taking. I could almost touch them and smell them they are so vivd. You sure do take a perfect picture.

    So you brought joy with that to me today. Thank you.

    Anne

  • Julia257
    Julia257 Member Posts: 203
    edited June 2010

    Hi Jackie, thank you so much.  I'm feeling a little better, the nausea is easing up.  I'm trying to force myself to eat, everything tastes rotten but I don't want to lose too much weight.  All my labs are out of whack, wbc = 1.  It was a great pleasure to see my girlfriend of 52 years yesterday.  It's amazing, sometimes we go for months without seeing each other but when we do, we pick right up on the conversation as if all that time was just a breath between sentences.  Great to have a good laugh again.  And you amaze me...all the things you do in the course of one day for everyone and all the animals including the moggies (from freekibblekat)...just thinking about it, I need to lie down to get over it.

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited June 2010

    Julia, Glad that you are feeling a little better.  Sometimes I think a "girl day" is better than all the anti-nausea meds and pills that can be prescribed! 

    Lisa.......you have a lovely patio and pool area!  It looks like the perfect place to relax with a cool beverage and a good book..........and of course your camera so you can capture any part of nature that catches your attention!  You do indeed have a talent!

    Miss Kitty.........so glad that the MO life is agreeing with you and that you are enjoying each day.  Isn't it nice to finally arrive at that point where we get back to just living and following our interests?  Don't stay away for so long next time, though!  You were indeed missed!

    Well I need to get some things done around this house.  I have a busy afternoon ahead of me and I'm finding it hard to tear myself away from this computer to get moving!

    Hugs to all you fantastic ladies.

    Rita

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Good morning everyone,

    We are having some sunshine that I think will not last as weatherman says storms are rolling back in.  Yesterday, hmmm, a long day.  Saw Dr. Herb.  He is wanting me to go on Fosamax which I will research.  I think so many turn up with this once you get on the 5 yr. cancer hormone drugs.  Still, does it matter I wonder ??? how you get it.  You still need to think about holding it at bay.  We will see.  I'll call after I have checked it out as he put a standing order so that should I decide it can be activated.  Also have to go in sometime ( my choice ) to get a back X-ray as well as a chest.  We shall see how it goes. 

    Connie, some things just don't seem to have a good answer do they!!!  Sorry that your Mom is so troublesome.  She doesn't seem to have a :"true will" to keep going now that your Dad has passed on.  That is a shame and she obviously doesn't really see what she creates for everyone else around her to deal with and try to fix in some way.  Sometimes all you can do is the best you can and then let it go. 

    Julia, the white diet is generally always best for nausea problems.  Anything white -- potatoes, toast, bananas,etc.  As little spice at this time as possible.  I lost 38 #'s during my 6 mos. of chemo and while that was not my intention -- I did have that and then some to spare.  I never got ill with anything URI's, pneumonia -- nothing, thank goodness, even though I generally could not and did not eat for at least 5 to 6 days after every tx.  Not as horrible as it sounds since I only had a tx. every three weeks. 

    Isn't that fantastic that you and your friend have remained such a good match, even with your illness popping up.  This is a time when many of us found many friends and in some cases, family members that just did not cope well and ended up going by the wayside.  Very refreshing to hear. 

    I do have long days and do a lot at times and I am so thankful I can.  For so much of my cancer care I struggled and hate to admit.....I kept the feral cats fed, as well as my own -- but forget my poor house which got virtually nothing -- and even some big jobs had to wait till I was myself again.  I am still in catch up mode but only have positive feelings.  If you keep putting one foot in front of the other -- YOU have to get SOMEWHERE. 

    Got a pneumonia shot yesterday -- good arm of course, and wow -- never thought an arm could be so sore -- and so soon.  Another little challenge to work through.  I'll do it. 

    Onward for the day.....it is my day at the office so everything today happens after work.  Two long days and then back to some wonderful flexibility.  Hope you all are looking forward to a fantastic day. 

    Big hugs, Jackie

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited June 2010

    Hey Jackie...........I forgot to ask how your back was doing.  Is it better?

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Rita, the back would be almost normal I think if I could quit doing things -- like yesterday.  Chico got upset that I took Poncho  to the groomers ( I can do Chico myself as he is short-haired ) and made the cinder block fall so he could squeeze through an opening by the gate in the dog pen.  It is a very heavy cinderblock which I put back in place --- and one of them knocked it down again.  I was not feeling so great this morning -- so back to some aspirin therapy.  That is why the back x-ray --- I just know it is from not taking age and physical condition into account this year when doing things.  Until Dh gets back from S. Dakota this coming Wednesday ( late I might add ) I am stuck to having to do whatever comes up. 

    Another little challenge to keep life interesting and keep me  on my toes. 

    Hot,humid, no rain so far but I imagine it will turn up some time tonight.  It was raining in S. Dakota this a.m. when Denny called me.  This time of year is a huge car show -- several blocks of cars in fact.  Hopefully, the weather there will clear so they can enjoy this show. 

    See you all later. 

    Hugs

  • socallisa
    socallisa Member Posts: 10,184
    edited June 2010

    San Diego has a huge marine layer holding so that the sun can't shine even

    though it is up there trying its best  break through..but I did play tennis with

    some misting adding to the mixture..

    Anne, is it that way up there too?

    Rita, good to see you..almost four years since you joined up here..I remember it

    so well...

    Jackie, it is a good thing to get the shot...better a sore arm than pneumonia!!

    Julia, I am hoping you have something you can eat to help you..how about candied ginger?

    Connie, Pro bionics supposedly replace the good bugs the antibiotic kills, are you sure

    they are fresh?

    Isabella, good luck with the windows...my dh has no clue whatsoever. ..If I want something fixed

    properly, I have to do it myself..I guess the years of being the wife of a deployed Navy Officer

    has been of some use..I learned it all...

    Melissa, I was out planting today too, actually ran out of stuff to plant and I have to make another

    run to the garden store..

    SV a little chilly today for a dip..maybe tomorrow..

    Hugs all around to everyone, did not intentionally miss say hello to all...I ran out of steam..

    SoCal

  • socallisa
    socallisa Member Posts: 10,184
    edited June 2010
  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 1,352
    edited June 2010

    Back again today to say my Aunt has died. I got the call around 10am, was told she would not last another hour, but went anyway. It took me an hour and a half, thru thick traffic, but I was too late, as I expected....So this, to me, justifies my decision not to have feeding tubes , but to just keep her comfy, and let things take their course.... no doubt I will be going thru all the 'what ifs' before long, but know I would not want to be artificially fed if I were in her state....I don't feel anything yet...thank you all so much for keeping me going these last few weeks

    I went thru all this with my father 20 odd years ago, but he was in awful pain with bowel cancer. I really wished him away because of the uncontrollable pain he had. 4 of us took turns sleeping in his hospice room at night, in 2s, and it happened on my brother and sisters 'watch'.

    I have had a quiet afternoon, coming straight back from the nursing home, and doing nothing. I go back across town tomorrow to see funeral director. I have never done this before, but know what my Aunt wanted.

    DD called to see me this evening, she is busy organising a monster party for her 2nd son who will be 18 next week....not looking forwards to this as it sounds like there will be a lot of silliness...she's sorting out a marquee, trampoline, bucking bronco, a burger van, and live music in her field.  I like my peace and quiet !  but will be able to slip outside and see her pigs and horses while all this silliness is going on, no-one will miss me, DH will be busy getting merry, as its my turn to drive. I shall sit in the stables chatting to the animals, a real ' party pooper ' I am  !! So, its a warm shower, and a sleeping tablet for me tonight. I am tired. Last night just could not get to sleep. I was walking thru the house as dawn broke at 4.15 am, looking for things to do that would make me tired enough to fall asleep, and NOT wake DH with something like the Hoover going at that hour !

    Isabella.

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited June 2010

    Hugs, Isabella!  I am so sorry to hear about your aunt.  You were a wonderful niece to her and I'm sure she felt your presence these last days.

  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 18,108
    edited June 2010

    Isabella,

    You were there for your aunt and did right by her. Bless you for sparing her more pain. Hope that time gives you only good memories of her.

    pam 

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2010

    Isabella, My heart aches with your news. I'm lightened by the fact that she is not suffering anymore. I agree with you, no feeding tubes for me either. I'm so sorry for your loss. You chant to the animals in the barn, bet they love it.

    ~Connie

  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 251
    edited June 2010

    Isabella- your Dear Aunt would not want you to linger too long in grief as she knows how good you were to her- mark me down for no feeding tubes- no silliness at that time of my life- just as you did, make me comfy.

    Must say we are a busy lot and I don't know more supportive ladies, Keeps it interesting.

    Lisa that iris is so lovely! Must plant some of thoes also- I am planted out right now but any short trip to town will cure that!

    OK new job orientation is a bore! Now that I have said that I must say how blessed I am to land a 2 day job- I just had to whine a bit- Everyone I have met is very nice and there is a policy aganist gossip- remember 80% of the employees are female, however, I would love to see this work as it is usually destructive and petty.

    Everyone grow cilantro- nothing better fresh!  nightie0nithie dearies- love ya! Miss Kitty

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Isabella  I'm so sorry to get your news but your Aun't soul is free now and hopefully you will find later on some peace and joy that it is so.  I know you did the right thing.  Only beautiful souls last forever -- we have to shed the old worn out bodies so I do think it a shame that we try to force life in old bodies that won't support it.  Don't second guess yourself later. She will be pleased that you cared enough to do this for her. 

    No tubes for me either. One of my spiritual teachers explained things this way to me --- that from a long time back, we see death has a somewhat un-welcome event -- we are losing a precious gift that many of us have had for a long time --- a life,  Then it was said that we get so tuned into our bodies that it feels wrong to give them up ( to more or less give up the gift of life ) but if we really stop and think about it -- what would you want with an old worn out shell anyway.  In your eternal life -- your are actually upon death being re-born and you will have a perfect body that works wonderfully well -- no aches, no pain, no arthritis.  Your mind will be clear and better yet....you will know everything then.  We see death as some sort of loss -- but we are losing nothing.  We are transitioning into our eternal life.  So there is not truly a loss, but yes.....I well understand that it still hurts to give up these people we love so much.  Even when you believe what I just said.....and I believe it with my entire heart and soul, you still hate to let go because a little part of you will still say....;am I really sure I will see this lovely soul again.  Well, of course you will.  I have all the faith that can be found in this world and the next. 

    Ok....once again I just get lost.  And it is late and I need to shower and settle down.  Didn't get home until 9 p.m. tonight as I kept bumping up against things that just could not wait.  Sure will be glad when my work is done tomorrow night.  Why....I'm not getting up Saturday morning until at least 6:30 a.m. 

    I am thinking about all of you --- Miss, Kitty, Connie, Julia, Pam, Jeanette, Aussie, Lisa, Anne,Kat,Rita and just all of you.  Hope tomorrow is just super for each and everyone.

    Hugs, Jackie

  • Julia257
    Julia257 Member Posts: 203
    edited June 2010

    Isabella, I'm so sorry for your loss, wishing you long life.

    Thank you Rita and I agree totally...there's no better medicine than friendship.

    Jackie, wow, 38 lbs is an awful lot to lose in a short time, you must have really felt weak in addition to the treatment.  Isn't it astounding how much we are able to tolerate?  God thankfully created a resiliency in all of us to counter the slings and arrows and infusions and heartbreaks.  Good luck, hoping you get the best possible results with your xrays.  Thanks for the heads up on "white", mashed potatoes sounds good to me right now for breakfast.

    SoCal, another prize winning photo, I love the contrast with the delicacy and light in the iris and the deep dark stability in the tree -a commentary on life.  And thanks for the tip on ginger...as a matter of fact I put ginger in chamomile tea, it's about all I've been able to handle.

    Take care, all my best wishes.

  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 1,352
    edited June 2010

    Thankyou all for the kind words.

    Jackie, what you said helped me enormously, and I am not a religious person. The things you write are so beautiful.

    WHERE is Marybe ??

    Isabella.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Searchlight on for Marybe. 

    Hugs, Jackie

  • Unknown
    edited June 2010

       I am right here Isabella and Jackie, ....I have been sleeping a lot more than usual, but also have been busy doing things I don't necessarily want to do, but think I should.....bite off more than I can chew in other words since doing too much used to be second nature to me.  This weekend it's a trip to Cols to help my friend with the food for her son's graduation party....have been baking cookies for two days and have to go bun shopping and get pomegranate seeds for this one salsa we are going to fix and they are not easy to find these days.  Have to go to Trader Joe's for them and last week when she was visiting here we went there and the entire batch they had was going bad....evidently was a bad shipment and they are now out of season.  Anyway, when she was here we went to an event at the art museum which was a food wine tasting and that was nice, but running around all weekend, was a bit much and then I had to go to the golf tournament with my Dad on Sunday and I am not into sports at all.   However I could just not see allowing my 88 yr old dad to tromp around a hilly course by himself since he isn't even that stable on flat ground.  So that meant a drive to Ports, spent the night with Dad and then we drove to Cols and back on Sunday.  The weekend before that my husband and I went to this thing called Abbey Road on the RIver in Louisville Ky and as the name would indicate, it was all Beatles. It's unusual for us to do anything together, but he does love his music and we both grew up with the Beatles. It was nice, but oh so hot, and I am not supposed to get much sun with the chemo I am doing.  I think it wore Tim out more than it did me since he is so frail and just doesn't eat much at all....he's down to 100 lbs and on a 5'll' frame, you can just imagine how emaciated he looks.  But I can't make him eat and he just doesn't take care of himself and doesn't seem to care....lives on beer and smokes pot until he falls asleep in his chair every night.  I guess I should just be happy he leaves me alone and spends his time in the basement room with the big screen tv.  Since I am off the megace and that really did increase my appetite, I have been thinking I should get the RX refilled and grind it up and put it in his food.  He's actually a good guy and does try to do things to make me happy, they just always backfire.....like he bought annuals to plant, didn't plant them and left them in the baking sun and they all dried up.....he brought me home a big bowl of mac and cheese from Noodles and said I know you like mac and cheese and I said yes, but not when I am doing WW.....BUT I am happy to say, he hasn't let anything blow out of the back of the truck lately.  He is making a trip to my Dad's today to pick up molding and things that weren't used so we can return them for store credit before the 30 days is up. 

       I got good news yesterday.  Evidently the navelbine is working for me because my tumor markers have gone from 659 to 476 after just four treatments.  I had treatment #5 on Tues, but they reduced the dosage because my white count was at 1 and they don't want it to go below there.  This really is a gentle chemo.....no real SEs other than very sleepy which is sort of good because I was having a tough time sleeping before and also I get constipated and have muscle spasams off and on....fingers curl up.  I think I am  just going to have to face the fact my onco is right and chemo is the only option ahead for me and just hope this one works for a long time. I consider myself very blessed to still be plugging along so long at Stage lV.....and actually feeling quite good. 

    I have a lot of catching up to do on here and am sorry to hear about your Aunt's passing, Isabella. She knew you were there and loved her.  I thought you were retiring, Melissa! How a are the dogs?  SV, always happy to hear that you are out fishing and doing your thing. Connie, hope they finally get to the root of your problem.  Everyone else I love reading your posts and looking at your beautiful pics and will try to catch up on my reading soon, but have to go to Cols today to help my friend get ready for her son's graduation party tomorrow.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited June 2010

    Hello again girls!  I just took pictures of my Fairy Garden.....

     Well, at least it is a "work in progress!"....

    Isabella....I'm always thinking about you.....I know how you feel.....I'm sorry.  I did the same thing for my Grandma, my Mom, & my Dad...  It's hard to think about "what if"....And "maybe I should have"....and it just breaks your heart.  Our decision for my Mom, was to start dialysis, or not....if we did, she still was in terrible shape...if we didn't, we couldn't even give her sips of water. She didn't know what was going on, but my Brother, Dad, & I were just torn!  And we didn't want her to suffer...but for so long, I kind of felt like it was "my fault"....that no matter what, I should have kept her alive....  It's like her life was in our hands, & we threw it away....I don't like to think about it.....  Just know you are in my prayers.

    I love reading your posts, gals.....it's like we are all "family" here!  I read them in Orlando, & always wanted to "talk" to you, but so many people around, & so much "dirt to scratch, & eggs to lay,"  Ha! 

    And so where are YOU, miss SV?  My little red-neck rebel?   Maybe I've just missed your posts, AND any email you might have scrounged up?   Hope you are alright! 

    Marybe....sounds like you are going through so much lately.....And you know, my Husband is like yours....I know he is losing weight, even though he just snacks & likes desserts!  He will eat a little of the meals, but not much!   I can't make him eat fruits or vegetables either!  Then I figure, he is a grown man......but honestly you would think he is a "kid" sometimes!   Just stubborn husbands! 

    Now if I "go back" a page, I will lose this post, so I'll just finish this, & catch up with you wonderful women next time!  Love you! xoxoxoxoxo

  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 18,108
    edited June 2010

    Chevyboy,

    Your fairy garden is as inviting as Lisa's pool! Just the place to relax and heal.

    Marybe,

    So glad for your good news. You are a tough cookie! An inspiration to alll of us.

    pam 

  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 251
    edited June 2010

    Marybe I am so relieved as I have been worried about you- I stand corrected- I will just get out of your way! You are busy, Busy! Good for you. I did retire but was worried about my nursing license becoming inactive and saw a 2 day Infection Control job and applied- now I have 5 full-time weeks of orientation!Speaking of biting off more than I can chew!  I am happy to only 2 days but the rest is a bit much.The dogs are great- Hass Cartwright is so BIG we have nicknamed him MoMoCankles. And Heidi should be named Lucy as she has some explaining to do most of the time.

    Jackie I believe every-word you said about our after like life and have for years. I believe that our spirits endure and have things to do- watch over us and spread their good qualities.

    Isabella Hang in there- we are with you in pray and spirit. Rita, Anne, sjs, Marybe, Pam, Isabella Connie all orthers un-named- Hugs to you all! Miss Kitty

  • shannon56
    shannon56 Member Posts: 33
    edited June 2010

    HELP!!!!

    Is there anyone out there who found out that they may have a recurrence just over a year from the initial diagnosis?????

    I am upset (finally) about all of this.  I did everything I was supposed to do, lumpectomy, chemo, herceptin, and radiation.  My PET scan on Tuesday was supposed to bring me good news but didn't.  The report says that there was an uptake in the radioactive sugar in an area adjacent to the scar tissue and that the cells were asymetrical (not good).  Has anyone else that had stage 1 had a recurrence so quickly?

  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 18,108
    edited June 2010

    Shannon,

    This is so unfair! You should not be going through this anxiety again. Hang on.. maybe there will be some better news. Thank God your doctors are on top of this with a PET scan... was that routine or were they suspicious of something? My prayers are with you.

    pam 

  • flyingdutchess
    flyingdutchess Member Posts: 107
    edited June 2010

    Isabella, I am so sorry for your loss.  You have been the perfect niece.  You did everything right.  Mat your aunt rest in peace and may you find peace in your heart knowing you did all the right things.

    Kat

  • shannon56
    shannon56 Member Posts: 33
    edited June 2010

    pj12345,

    The PET scan happens to be routine at the facility I'm at (Henry Ford Hospital Josephine Ford Cancer Center).  This was supposed be a routine blessing that all was well, after all overall 5 yr survival rates for stage I and no nodes is "supposed" to be 100%.  I hate being the exception to the rule.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited June 2010

    Morning Shannon...You hang in there kid!  Maybe it sounds worse than it is!  And maybe with further checking or a biopsy, it will put your mind at ease.   Just don't worry until you have to, & then we have plenty of time!   I always thought, if this happens to me, what would I do?   I know there are no guarantees that we are ever free & clear, but we just hope so!  No matter what we do, or how many treatments, something can always sneak in there.    Then, I guess we just go on from there...... My prayers are with you, but you have all of us, & we've got your back! 

    (((((shannon)))))  .....from all of us.

  • Julia257
    Julia257 Member Posts: 203
    edited June 2010

    Hi Shannon, I know easier said than done but try not to worry.  My onc doesn't seem to have too much faith in pet scans.  He said there are false negatives and false positives.  Remember what you said about the power of positive thinking and I agree with CB there's plenty of time to worry later.  So hopefully this blip will soon be a thing of the past and you can get on with your good health.  Good luck and best wishes.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Shannon,I agree totally with Julia.  I've heard many of the bc people I talk too say their Dr's generally won't even do PET scans since false positives seem to turn up so easily.  Also, while it is hard to keep a positive outlook going when you "suspect" trouble, you really can't do one thing until you actually KNOW what is going on.  As someone so aptly put it " it is what it is " good or bad, positive or negative and no real value to getting worked up because you can only wrestle with shadows and possibilities until you have proof positive of anything. 

    I am wishing you well and I do mean well, with all my heart and soul.

    Hugs, Jackie

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 38,359
    edited June 2010

    Jeanette,I think I forgot to tell you how pretty and peaceful your garden looks.  Isn't it great to have a little oasis somewhere to just lose yourself.  I think anything that looks so serene and comforting has the ability to help you just let your mind float on it's own.  One would think nothing would drift in --- but this is I think what everyone would want to achieve ---  being totally in the present --- no encumbrances from what happened yesterday or the week before  -- no worries about what may happen in an hour or tomorrow or next week.  You are truly in touch with your deepest spiritual essence -- EVEN if you think you don't have any at all.  Surprising thoughts or answers could come if you relax and accept the source. 

    I hope you all have a peaceful Saturday.  I'm off to my friends house in a bit.  Have to finish some laundry and a couple of other chores here. 

    Komen Race for the Cure is as I write taking place in St. Louis.  Wish it were not so hot and humid for them and I am praying that all those wonderful, wonderful people do well and stay healthy.

    Blessings to all and hugs, Jackie

  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 18,108
    edited June 2010

    Shannon,

    For all our good wishes... I know I would be a basket case if I were in your situation. See if you can fast track biopsies or whatever will rule in or out new problems. Knowing is the only thing that is going  to bring you relief. That and some kind of anti-anxiety med. I NEVER used to advocate drugs but this kind of stress needs help beyond a positive attitude!

    Now, being a Libra, I just have to put the good slant on any bad news. :-)  A recurrence is not a metastasis! You are not venturing off into new body systems here. You are experienced and knowledgeable and your doctors know you and your body. You are and are going to be a 5 - 10 - 25+ year survivor!!!

    Thinking of you.

    pam