Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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LittleWhiteDove......Stella, I am sorry to hear that you have this rotten disease, but glad to chose to spend time with us here. As you are Nicki's sister who so many of us care so deeply for, there probably is not much we could tell you that you don't already have a lot of information about---probably more than you ever wanted to know, long before you found youself facing this enemy. Just know that whatever it is ---- we are here for you --- all with willing hearts, healing thoughts and prayers and a total willingness to walk beside you every step of the way. Nicki this means you too.
Hugs, Jackie
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Stella - let me clarify that...there are NO poopheads in this forum - period! Some of us air our gas problems in public, but that's it!
Susan
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*giggling* at Susans terminology.....~~~poophead~~~ due to recent events.....I know I am NOT one, but wish I could be *L* those of you who know of my recent *issues* know Im talkin bout anatomy not personality
Love to all.......
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Oh Mikita.....I'm sending good vibes and prayers for you! As Kathleen said, it's so natural to be afraid. Hang in there and your faith will get you through. Hugs!
Rita
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Mikita, Love and prayers go with you.
I knew that wasn't Rita's grandson right after I posted and went back to check. That's me -- backward Pam. LOL. Well, we will just have to wait for a picture of this new beautiful gift to the world. All babies are gifts.
Today I am feeling a bit better so that is a good thing.
I don't go back to the Dr for two weeks and am moving in the meanwhile to about a mile away so it's not a big move just a better house.
Thanks for the advice about friends and other people. I think I am learning who I should talk to and who I shouldn't as I go along. Peoples attitudes just never cease to amaze me. People I think should understand don't (even a nurse that has had lung cancer) and people I think couldn't possilby get it --- totally get it. What ever. I guess it's just a day at a time thing.
I want to know about Mikita's surgery as it sounds like if and when I can have mine it will be like hers. I have already been told I will have to go up to Tampa to Moffet to get mine done as they don't have the expertise down here in Port Charlotte.
To those in Ohio, I was born and raised in Willoughby. 5 miles from Lake Erie, 28 years. Then I moved to DC/Viriginia and lived there 28 years. Now I live in lovely warm Florida. In the winter in Florida I remember why I don't want to move back north. Although I have a think with the hot flashes I may wish I was up north again. LOL We just sent the snowbirds home. Yippee.
PamW1
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Oh, Jo - I'm roaring!!
Actually, I thought I'd sit in the horn section so that I could toot away! Or, the wood "wind' section!
Pam - my son and his family live in Wesley Chapel, above Tampa. They hate FL. As did my daughter and husband, who moved back north several years ago. Geesh! I'd move down there in a heart beat! No snow, sleet, freezing rain, snowblowers...I could go on forever.
Susan
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I thought I knew all of the abbreviations...but what is DIEP? Maybe I've only forgotten. Thanks in advance for enlightening me.
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JO - The Washington DC area (including Maryland and Virginia) has the same reputation - if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes!
I heard thunder this afternoon, then it rained really hard for about 5 minutes, then the sun came out again. It is 54 degrees here.
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Mikita, I know it''s late but I'll be praying for you tonight and tomorrow. The wait is the hardest and after tomorrow you will be working on getting better. Don't be afraid to have a meltdown...it's good for you....tears are nature's way of relieving stress. Sending gentle hugs and remember God is with you always. Maire
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Hugs and Sweet Dreams. Prayers go up for everyone.
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Cheyanne...I may be wrong about this...and I don't know what the letters actually mean but DIEP is just the surgery that is done where skin and fat tissue is taken from the stomach ( living tissue ) to rebuild a breast after removal. I think some people are happier with the idea of bodily tissues being used as opposed to prophylactic implants. Hopefully, someone else will know what the actual letters stand for.
Beautiful morning for now...sun is bright though it may not stay the day. Ok with me as it is great to have it in the a.m. Gets me started right.
Prayers for Mikita today.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Thanks for your explanation, Jackie. If I have reconstruction I think it will be the implants. Or whatever they are doing in my town!
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Cheyanne - the initials stand for Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator - there is an excellent site under Dr. Keller out of NY. I will try to get the site address for you. I believe Dr. Keller perfected this technique.0
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Cheyanne - found it!
http://www.breastflap.com/reconstruction-techniques/diep-flap.cfm
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JO-5
God Bless You! I will be praying for your father, I know how it is when an elderly parent is sick and wants you there all the time. In 1992, I lost my Daddy, March 30, 1992, and lost my first hudsband to cancer April 22,1992. Mother was in the wreck that killed my daddy, they told us she would never walk again, but by the grace of God, she did. However, after she got better, she thought I was suppose to be right by her side, no matter what. She actually got mad at me when I married the second time, she eventually came around, but then she thought she was suppose to go with my husband and I everwhere, and when we didn't take her with us she would pout. I really know what you are going through and I will say an extra prayer for you and your dad.
I had a scare last night, I leant over to put down my shoe and I had a knot to come up under my left breast, it hurt really bad for a couple of seconds, I suppose, seemed like minutes to me. This has happened before and I told the Dr. about it, he says I am swallowing air, I don't know how, I just know when it happens it hurts really bad, last night it was just more painful than usall, I have to go to the Dr. tomorrow for a check-up and a dose of Herceptin, I will mention it to him again, and see what he says.
An update on Junior, they took the lump out from under his shoulder, they say there is two spots on his brain, they haven't decided what to do about that yet, he is suppose to go to the Dr. today, to decide if they are going to do rads, chemo, or take care of the blockage in his heart. Surely do appreciate the prayers. Sorry this was so long, need to get up and do some washing, and cleaning. My prayers are with you.
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Mother of seven and Jo....I am hurrying today but did stop to read and I will be praying for both of you. I have thoughts I would love to share but must take Dh to work....in the rain, drat so will try and come back later.
Hugs and prayers,
Jackie
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Good Morning Ladies and God Bless You All!
As far as where you live, I think it all depends where you were raised, maybe I am wrong but that's what I think. I was raised in South Georgia and lived there most of my life, when I got married the first time my husband was a sandbaster and spray painter, we moved from Valdosta, GA. to Jacksonville, FL. that was just fine because I was used to that kind of weather. In the south we have an old saying:" that'll be a cold day in July". Well let me tell you I found a cold day in July. We moved to Illinois for a job he had, my heater was on the fourth day of July, it was cold. We lived close to Waukegan, IL. I love the weather in South Georgia and North Florida, now I live on the border of South Georgia and North Florida, the weather is great and we live in an area where the hurricanes don't bother us, may get some wind or rain from them, but that's about all, just a few trees down now and then, and maybe the electric may go off for an hour or so. I love this area and I'm so glad I live here.
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JO-5
I know what you mean about everyone thinking your dad is so sweet and kind, and I'm sure he is. Everyone who met my Mother loved her. She was a sweet and kind person, she just wanted her way all the time when it came to me, and I think that is what your dad wants when it comes to you. Does he know about your cancer? If he does, maybe he feels like he can't help you, and maybe that makes him mad.
When Mother was dying with liver cancer, she wouldn't even let my sister do anything for her, it always had to be me. The Hospice nurse said she didn't realize she was hurting my sister's feelings, she said they just get dependent on one person. My feelings got hurt too, although I was the one who was always there for her, the last person she asked for was my husband, that really hurt, but then I remembered what the nurse said.
It seems to me that right now, you are the one who your dad wants with him more than anyone else, I know with all you are going through with this breast cancer, you can't always be there for him, and I know that is hurting you, it is awful to see your parent hurting in any way, and know that there is not a thing you can do about it.
I know this may seem mean, but I hope it doesn't. I am so glad that my Mother does not have to see me going through what I am right now, because she would feel so helpless that she couldn't do anything to makes things better for me. Well now I am teary eyed, guess I'd better get up from here before I really get to crying.
Oh, just one more thing, Mother was alive when I lost my 37 year old daughter to brain cancer, that was really a challenge, I had to be ther for my daughter, and Mother just insisted on being there too, It is really hard when you are trying to take care of two at one time. I'm bawling. Gotta go.
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JO-5
So sorry, I need to explain, in 1999 when my daughter died, as far as I know, Mother didn't have cancer, maybe it was already there, I don't know, but she did have heart trouble.
After daddy died she would get so mad at me, and it seemed to me for no apparent reason. She was so sweet and kind to everyone but me, I just couldn't understand, she was jealous of anyone I paid any attention to, she was even jealous of my children. I always wondered if she blamed me for daddy's death. He asked me to go home and get some rest, I told him that I had promised my husband I wouldn't leave him. Well, daddy got hit that night going home, some young boys were playing chicken, it was raining, daddy put on brakes to keep from hitting the boys who were playing chicken, a semi hit him in the side and then it turned the truck around somehow and hit him in the rear, it killed my daddy instantly, and it messed Mother up pretty bad. I know I have blamed myself a lot for my daddy's death. Anyway, Mother just seemed to change after that. She was so sweet and kind to everyone except me, and I couldn't seem to do anything to please her, however, she wanted me right under her all the time, don't know why, but I really did my best to take care of her until she died with cancer, and I will always wonder why they didn't catch it earlier, I would tell the Dr. how she was holding herself and bending over in pain, but they never listened to me.
Anyway, sometimes when they get older they just get dependent on you.
I will say a special prayer for you and your dad.
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Hi Jo-5
I have been on the Arimidex for five days now and I am taking it at 7:00 am every morning. I know this isn't possible but I feel at night like it has run out for the day and stopped working. LOL All psychological. ;-) I am not having to many problems. Hot flashes, a bit of a sore throat. Coughing but that is because of a Pleural Effusion which the PA says will disappear after a while.
FYI, My mom took care of both her mother in law and mother. I did not envy her. What a job. My dad died at 86, he had lived a happy full life and didn't suffer much before he died. He died of an Aortic Anuerysm. He made it to the hospital which I have been told was unusual for and AA patient. He went into surgery and came out hooked up to tubes and etc. My mom says she knew the minute he died as he got a big smile on his face and looked so at peace with the world.
I feel he is around and with me and doing his best to protect me even when I am not taking good care of myself. I miss him terrilbly. That was 3 years ago this month. My mom is just about 86 now. She is doing well and has also lived a good rich full life. I should be so lucky. I am like them, not so afraid of dying. I guess it's my age -- 64, I figure if the docs can give me a couple of years more ------- I will be --- 69 - 70 that is a good long life.
My friend Danny died in a Helicopter crash when he was 32, heck I have lived 32 years longer then he was allowed on this earth. I think I will just keep trying to enjoy one day at a time. It seems to work best for me that way.
Pam
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JO-5
That song is beautiful!!!!! Thanks for asking us to listen to it.
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IllinoisLady
Thanks for the prayers, I know we all need prayer, I ask the Lord each time I pray to remember each one of you ladies, it sure is nice to have a group of beautiful ladies who understand exactly what you are going through and who with love and kindess uplifts your spirits when you need it most.
Makita
I pray everything went wonderful with your surgery yesterday, I said a prayer for you. I was at Shand's hospital yesterday, one of my church members had to have a hip replacement, he went through it o.k., hope yours was successful too.
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Hello Ladies
I have some good news to share! I got the results of my catscan today, it showed no cancer! Even my lymph nodes were normal size. And that's just after chemo...I still have to have surgery and radiation because as she puts it, there could be cancerous cells too small to show on imagery..but I am tickled.
Jo, I know what you're going through, when my Dad first got sick, it wasn't my younger brother who lived with Dad for the past 10 yrs, or my older brother he called, it was Me. I was driving over breakfast, lunch and dinner when he was at home..then when he went into the hospital and later the nursing home, it was me he called...But ya know what, I wouldn't leave those moments out of my memory for anything...at least I got to see him alot then before he passed.....
Take care my friends
Luv, hugs and prayers
Deb
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Deb-from-Ohio
Whoppee!!!!!!! So very happy for you that they found no cancer cells! What a wonderful day for you. God is so very good!
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Jo-5 and Mother - hugs and prayers. I had to smile "he's only 86..." Did we ever think that we'd think of 86 as "not that old"??? How things have changed!
But, I know what you mean, my mom (86) and my aunt, her sister (92) are still very active. My auntie just bought another new computer last year, my mom bought a new car this year! Please, Lord, give me some of those genes.
Deb - great news!! It's so good to hear good news!
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Just a quick little catch up note.....I am always here reading just not always able to post....its 8:30pm and I just got home from work a little while ago.....
JO....dad will have my prayers as will you. I too am an only child....only my 90 year old mom and I , she is back at home now enjoying her life but she had to be in a Nursing Home in December at the time of my surgery and treatment, she got very sick very quickly and there was no way she could take care of herself....long story....but I am very familiar with being the *only one* and will think of you often and always......I am switching my Arimidex to the morning also, first time will be tomorrow as I was weaning it upwards....my other *problems* are almost solved now the last one to go will be the insomnia.....yea !!!!
Deb......Congratulations from the bottom of my heart !!!! Gotta love good news....
Love to all
Jan
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Jan...fantastic...we can put away the dynamite....just takes a little work to see what works.
Deb...fantastic news. Major sigh of relief and you don't even know you have been holding yourself in until you hear it and then the jelly reaction sets in. To all those with the older parents.....if we have been fortunate and many of us have, they are our treasures. Of course, for a variety of reasons they can be somewhat trying, testing our patience a bit too, but I think part of that --- certainly I think it is happening with Jo's pop, their world is getting less and less and I think they know it somehow. I think they know they truly need us....just like we needed them when we ourselves were small and so un-formed as yet.
I think they want to be needed by us still, but they are no longer our mentors, and they feel the loss of "no longer needed" to take care of things. Some are older and they rail against change in the only way they know how.....to latch onto you. I think they in some way are quite un-comfortable and do not know what to do about it. So, they reach for whatever or whomever is familiar. they are just ideas I've had from time to time when I have worked around older people. They don't want to lose the feeling of having been important to some one and while most would probably not show it, I think knowing the opportunity to redo anything they might have remotely considered a mistake has probably long since gotten past and they feel a bit of unease.
I also think that while our world stays large and rather exciting ( un-fortunately not always in good ways ) their's has become small and far too tidy and comparmented. They have a lot less to look forward too.....many of them have lost many other dear family members, and lots of friends....they may be in a nice place, even your home, but it's likely not what they dreamed about when they had time to think about their twilight years.
We are still entitled to have some negative feelings about much of this.....because most of us did not sit down one day and see this as the reality we are now having to go through either. It is going to have difficult and wearing moments and times when the burdens seem un-wieldy.
If you do the best you can and most important forgive yourself when you think you could have done better ( can't we all do things better with almost anything ) it will be all right. Sometimes we will do a little less or sometimes more....but if you do it with love for your treasure it will always be enough.
I was often a bit of a rotten but not mean kid, and there were many times when my treasures and I did not see eye to eye very well----in fact, a time or two we had some awful clashes and with that in mind when my dad was 75 for his birthday that year I sat down and wrote him a letter and told him what a special father I thought he was and how fortunate I saw myself because he was my Dad. We were poor and yet he made me feel like I had everything a person could have because he took the time to teach me all about life and tried to share everything he could about the things he thought would make me a better person. He didn't care so much if others would look at me and say I was a success as long as I lived by the golden rules and could face myself in the mirror everyday. So far Dad....everyday.
When Mom was 70 on her birthday along with a couple of other things I gave her a letter too and told her as well that fortune smiled on me with her as my loving Mother. A rare gift she is and was and for all her simple ways I learned more from her than I have from any other person. I still easily recall as I told her that when I was little and she would read the book " The Littlest Angel " she always made me feel that she loved me even more than God loved his little angel in the story and every day she read it to me, often five or six times that day...her love felt as new as the very first reading of it. She was my inspiration and made me feel like I could do anything. She never tired of helping me learn new things and she too did not care if I was a success to anyone else as long as I was happy and fulfilled myself. She did not see success as things of this world or money...success was being happy you are who you are and knowing you would get out of life what you put in. Mom, so far, so good.
See you all tomorrow.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Deb from Ohio...........YEA!!!! Great test results! Now you're ready to take some deep "yoga-type" breaths and move right on. I am so happy that the scans were good!
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Jo....absolutely you must take time for you and I hope I did not imply anything else. I think what I pray for ( even though there are not going to be nursing homes when I'm old enough for them ) is that when I am old and getting tired that I don't cause my children major sighs due to obstinance or sharp tongue syndrome. I hope peace always find it's way into our life no matter what else life brings. Ah, Jo....April 1 is a terrible reminder for you....as bad as being born on Sept. 11th.
Here is something I found I thought several of you might enjoy as much as I did.
Signs on Church Property
http://quotes.wordpress.com/
"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?"
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
"In the dark? Follow the Son."See you all later.
Jackie
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Yes Jo, I have a SIL born on 9/11. I was born on Friday 13th. so I decided never to be superstitious about anything and it has been a real bonus in many ways .
Jackie
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