Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Jo-5,
Thanks for the info!! I'm sure that the people around me will appreciate it!
Good luck with all of the serious problems we are facing!
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First, I haven't had time to read everything on here but I came across Cheyanne's post about a doctor telling her she wouldn't need reconstruction.
Cheyanne - My PCP didn't think I should try reconstruction again with my diabetes history and besides "at 61 it wasn't as if I was looking for a husband." Excuse me. How the hell does he know what I'm looking for. Maybe your doc thought at 68 you didn't need them either. At what age are you no longer a woman? At what age do you give up your dreams.
By the way, my grandmother had a radical mastectomy in the 1950s and didn't have any other treatment. She was in her early to mid forties - she died at 81 from totally unrelated causes. Of course, in those days they totally mutilated her and her scar ran from ust under her collar bone to practically her waist.
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Thanks for your response. First of all, I will have to weigh the further discomfort I would have by getting the reconstruction against the way I am going to feel when my surgery is over. I don't know what either one will be. I am actually more concerned about what I will look like with my clothes on than with my clothes off. I am not married and don't intend to be again, so doubt if anyone other than my doctors and caretakers will ever see me with my clothes off again.
Years ago, when I was only 31, I had a hysterectomy due to excessive bleeding. My mother-in-law-at-the- time told me I would have terrible after-effects from it. I told her I would not. I did not have any more sentimental attachment to my uterus than I would have had to my stomach, if I had a bleeding ulcer and needed part of my stomach removed. I kind of feel the same way with this. My main concern at this point is getting the treatment for my cancer, am not that concerned about how I will look afterwards without my clothes on. Again, I have plenty of time to consider this, as the reconstruction would be done further along the line.
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Cheyanne...I think you have a really great attitude.....that you do what you have to do to maintain health. I try not to depend so much on what I have as such. I was happy though ( my first reaction on hearing I had a tumor though was lets take it off ) to only have a lumpetomy. In many cases...and definitely where it's known there is no spread......you are treated the same whether the entire breast is removed....or just the lump. In hind-sight....not using my left arm for a time would have been difficult since I have stoke weakness there.....so glad there was an option that did not involve too many muscles/tendons or connective tissue.
Just looked up to see a Doe and her Fawn run into the tree line by the house. The joys of living in a somewhat wooded area. We are in the woods by a lake and get treated to a fair amt. of wild-life.
Hope you all have a wonderful day.
Jackie
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I never had a medical oncologist. I had lumpetomy, radiation and now on tamoxifen. I had a radiologist oncologist who I do not see anymore. The only person I see is my breast surgeon every six months, who is very knowledgeable in breast cancer. She send me for a mammo/breast ultrasound the first months and a breast mri on the following six months.
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Jo, funny you mentioned being "upset every month". Other than the excessive bleeding, I had severe cramping and pain. The first month that rolled around after my hysterectomy, I had the cramping and pain! I told myself no, you are imagining that, there is nothing left in there to cause pain. But it hurt anyway.
I asked a lady at work who had undergone a hysterectomy several years before, if she had had symptoms like that. She said, every month for a year!
Fortunately, it only happened for me that one time. Must be something like the phantom pain people sometimes get after an amputation????
Anyway, I was never sorry I had the hysterectomy! There's only so much pain and bleeding you want to undergo.
Since my ovaries were left due to my young age, my surgeon told me perhaps some day I would have menopausal symptoms.
Fast forward to my early 50's. I was working in a hospital office environment where we had four small offices. Then I noticed that at times throughout the day I was feeling really hot. I thought this must be the hot flashes they talk about! Then my young co-workers came in to complain that they were feeling too hot, could I have the air conditioning system checked (this was in Florida in about July). They came and fixed the air conditioning system and the "hot flashes" went away. After that I realized I never had any of the "hot flashes" at home or anywhere else, except in my air-conditioning-challenged office!
That was the extent of my menopausal symptoms. That was close to 20 years ago now. Decided I didn't have any, wouldn't have any, haven't had any. So far so good.
Back to the current problem. I'm going to see how I get through the mastectomy, how I feel about everything before I decide about reconstruction. I have had MANY surgeries, and if the mastectomy isn't THAT bad, I may go ahead with reconstruction. If it is worse than I anticipate, then I may leave well enough alone!
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JO-5
Yes, Junior does have a blockage in his heart, they say they are going to treat it with medicine, and try and do the surgery on Friday, they say if they put the ballon in there, they would have to wait two or three months before the surgery, and the Dr. said they can't wait that long. Now there is a big risk to take for the surgery, but Betty says they have to take that risk.
I know what you mean about getting the hibbiegibbies, every once in awhile the breast where I got the lumpectomy hurts a little and sometimes the back of my arm hurts and I always wonder what's going on now. I tried to help my husband pick up some leaves out of the yard, and the hip where I had the operation starting hurting and I had to quit for a little while.
I know what you mean about George, and your'e right, all I can do is be a friend and let him know that I am there for him.
I have a friend who had a mastecomy in 91 or 92, they didn't know if she was Her+ or not, she is doing great. She tells me if I need to talk she is their, however, she says she really doesn't know how I feel since she didn't have to have radiation or anything. She said they wanted her to take Tamifoxen, but she said she researched the medicine and decided not to take it.
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JO-5
Thank You for praying for Betty and Junior, yes they do have children, since our Mother's died, Betty and I have become like sister's, my Mother and her Mother were sister's. I know their children will be there for them, and I plan on being there for them. The Dr. just about said if God does not intervene, there is no hope for Junior.
Thanks for the info about the pain, it worried me somewhat. Guess things will never be the same anymore.
I have never saw so many leaves in all my life, as is in my yard right now. We have work on this yard for three days and it doesn't seem like we have even put a dent in them.LOL
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I don't know what this has to do with anything but when motherof7 mentioned a friend who had breast cancer at 91 or 92 it reminded me of the time my uncle went in for a brain scan - I think we were just looking to see if he had one. lol. While waiting for him in a very small waiting room an older couple came in and sat. The woman and I got to talking and she told me she was diagnosed with breast ancer and at first wasn't going to do anything about it because "afterall, I am 82 years old"). I am glad I was sitting down or I would have fallen. She looked so young and so pretty (and I don't mean she looked good for her age - I mean she looked good).
She and I reminisced about smoking - she had smoked for 50 years and I had smoked for 35 years. We both missed it.
Her husband sat there very stoicly reading a newspaper. He reminded me of that painting "American Gothic." Except he made some remark (which I can't remember now) that led me to believe that he had a dry sense of humor.
I am glad she sought treatment for her breast cancer. She is a remarkable woman. I should look so good when I'm 82 (or even now!).
As it turned out, they did find a brain in my uncle's head.
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Makita
I have some scriptures from the Bible I would like to share with you.
Psalms 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalms 103:1-3
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
Isaiah 26:4
Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and by His stripes we are healed.
Philippians 4-13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Hebrews 4-16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I pray these scriptures give you some comfort, I will be praying for you.
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kmccraw423
I'm sorry I gave you all the wrong impression, I meant to say the year 91 or 92, my friend who had the mastecomy, is not as old as I am. So sorry, I guess I didn't make it clear. Would you believe she still smokes, she also didn't have any reconstruction done, said she didn't want to because she was afaird it might come back later.
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Kathleen....I found your observations so interesting about the older lady you were talking too. Especially the fact that she had smoked for 50 years. And....looked so good. I smoked for ???? a long time but quit several years ago....going on 11 or 12 I think.....anyway, my sister-in-law who is 5 years younger than me and still smoking looks much older. When people have seen us together...they think SIL is much, much older than me. Guess it is something to do with genes as to whether you will show some of the effects of smoking. I was fortunate. SIL and her hubby both look very old, and they both have beginning stage emphysema and refuse to quit smoking. Reminds me of the saying I have used many times...." Old too soon, Smart too late ".
Jackie
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I'm going for a digital mammo tomorrow- my first since last my dx last June. Just hoping you'll send me good karma!
My appointment with my bs isn't until April 16, so I'll be stressed for weeks!! Poop.
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oooooooooooooooo Susan......~sending all kinds of good vibes your way~.....I have been told the dreaded mammos are always going to be stressful for *us* and I dont know what if anything will ever make them better. Mine is in June and I scheduled it for my day off so I can pace away the morning. Wouldnt you spose if there is something wrong they would let you know before your appt ? No matter on that though, cause nothing is going to be wrong........~~~~ good vibes ~~~~~
Love
Jan
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Thanks for the kind thoughts. Yeah, I can see that this will be a continuing source of stress. Just what we all need!
Susan
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Susan, I'll be praying everything goes well. I had my last mammogram in June, 2008. Since then, had mastectomy and treatment. I wonder when my onc will tell me I need one for the other breast? I'll kill him if I have to go through all this again on the other one! Cora
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Cora - That seems like a long time, considering your dx. But, what do I know?
I've been wondering why nobody wanted to check on my boob and boobette since last May. Now, I kinda wish they weren't going to check. What if it's not good? I'm not real anxious to hear that dx again.
But, I won't!! It'll all be good!
A positive self fulfilling prophecy!Thanks so much for the good thoughts.
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Susan-Good vibes, positive thoughts and prayers are coming your way from SW Missouri. MyPCPsays that once we get to the five year mark, the stress lessens...I said something like, "Yeah, five years...easy for you to say," and then he told me he, too, is a cancer survivor. Maybe he did understand after all! So, you are strong, positive, and cancer-free; strong, positive, and cancer-free. All together now, "strong, positive, and cancer-free." (((((hugs)))).
Chemo Chooks--hope you are having a good week. Helen
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hi, jo-
yes, i am a 30 year survivor.......31 if i live to september. i did have one of the first lumpectomies, and the surgery and radiation were state-of-the-art then. i do have scarring from the radiation, but now we know it was from overlapping fields, which they don't do anymore, and from an additional boost with seeds, which my onc says we wouldn't do today.
the tumor was practically off the breast, almost to the center of my chest, just where a modest V-neck blouse would be. it was good because i saw it as soon as it showed up; you couldn't miss that location. it was bad because it sure took care of every neckline but a high one, and that cuts out a lot of clothes.
considering the location, i was a wonderful candidate for lump/rad. but where i live, in the midwest, it was simply not being done anywhere and was called an experiment. (the midwest is very conservative, you know) and i am sure those surgeons would have started by cutting my entire upper chest off, plus half of my face on the right side.
when i asked how they would do the surgery, they told me that i'd find out when i woke up.
so we went to boston and harvard, where the new stuff was being done. the tumor was very small and stage one. the surgeon called it "nothing unusual, just the regular junk" which was what we all hoped for. 8 lymph nodes were removed that showed no sign of trouble. i was told that radiation would suffice, that chemo was completely unnecessary, i needed no drugs, and i should go home and get back to my life...........after the radiation, of course.
when i was about 25 years out, my handwriting started to look sloppy. soon a tingling showed up in one of my fingers, and little by little my hand and then my arm lost strength. there was no pain. to make this short, it took a neurologist to tell me i had brachial plexopathy, which is rare and unfortunate because there is no cure. it comes from scarring from radiation, and it certainly can show up late as well as early. everybody does not get this, and no one should be frightened away from radiation. remember, they do it better now.
what you are telling me does not sound like bp. it always starts with tingling in the fingers; at least that is what i have always read. sometimes you get le from it because the arm stops moving. that is what happened to me almost 2 years ago. and i have even heard that you can have le first and then get bp years later!
the breast and axilla can stay quite painful for a long time, but it is not bp. it's the old thing, surgery and radiation. so i don't know if this is helpful for you or more than you wanted to know.
would you believe i can't figure out how to scroll up so i can read the rest of your post? i don't seem able to master the computer. i'm sure it comes from the radiation..............
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jo, i forgot to answer a very important question you asked. when do you stop worrying about every little twinge being cancer? the answer is, never. i have been certain i had cancer of the big toe several times, and lately my earlobes have been sending out little sharp cries for help.
say, what is amiridex anyway, and how come you get to decide whether or not you should take it?
and, whatever binney says, listen. she knows all..............
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Thanks Moderators. Although I wouldn't define myself as old, I am in a different place than a lot of the younger women in the forum. My children are grown and on their own. It's only me, my dear sweet hubby and my two precious bichon frises at home. We are now taking care of our sickly parents instead of children and both working full time. When will the stress end?
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Hi, all - the initial view of my digital mammos was clear!! Whoopy pickle!! She said the radiologist would give them a more detailed review, but things looked fine!
Thanks for the support! I may have to celebrate by cleaning out the cats' litter boxes! Hey, we know how to par-tay up here in the mountains!
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Jo-Ann-K......you certainly do qualify to be here.....I'll let you in on a little secret but don't tell.....none of us here are really old...I think solidly experienced or seasoned, but not old. Old is a number too high for us to count. I think Bichon's are adorable. My Poncho certainly is anyway as well as his Puggle( Chico ) and Pomeranian( Baby Boss ) companions. They all get along with the house cats really well.
Mikita...hope all is going well for you.
Stress hmmm, doesn't that spell dessert which sometimes makes it go away. I like to think my stress is a test but then so is our life --- if we did not have adversities we would not grow very much and find all the strength we really have. For that reason....I try not to get too "nervy" when it's time to see the Dr. or have mammo's or other tests. Sometimes it works ,but then I'm new at this...only finished up this past late July 2008. I guess I think.....God is going to give me what he is going to give me and we will worry about it only if it happens and in the meantime I will go on doing what I do with a happy heart knowing I am sustained in everything---negative and positive with the one who created me.
I'll be checking in later after work. See you then.
Jackie
p.s. Susan...major congrats to you. I'll clean one of those boxes for ya...
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barbaraellen - Wow! It is so heartening to hear of your success! My auntie had a mast back in the 60's, with no other treatment, and she's 86 , with no recurrence.
You give me hope, when sometimes it seems the results are so grim.
Jo_Ann_K - there are no oldies here...just well seasoned warrior women! So, you fit right in!
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I'm like you, JO. I had no problems with my hysterectomy and they took everything! I had terrible fibroids and it was so good to get rid of the terrible bleeding. I didn't even have many menapausal symptoms so didn't take the hormones, which I guess is a good thing now. I do get some hot flashes on the Arimidex but they come and go and I can tolerate them.
Thinking about you Makita and hoping that you've made some sense out of all this decision making.
Hi Jackie.....was it as nice in southern Illinois today as it was in central Illinois? Hey, I'm ready for spring!
Catch you all later.
Rita
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And it's after work. Had dh get us lunch today from a little place called Say Cheesecake. If you order soup and sandwich.....the home-made cheesecake ( a slice ) is your free dessert. Well now....he makes his chicken salad just like I do.....grapes, apple chunks and walnuts....lots of celery and the Taco Soup ....spoon stood up in it....just the way I like it. We each had a slice of Peanut Butter Cheesecake....and we are both still so full we will not being eating dinner tonight. Price $6.00.
Rita...weather was not bad though I do fear rain may be coming again....in time for the week-end. Don' remember if I mentioned....I too had a hysterectomy. Periods would not stop so in checking it was found I had a grapefruit sized benign tumor that was starting to grow again after a long period of doing nothing....but apparently keeping the periods going. I was thrilled to say the least. I never looked back and was thrilled to dump all the extra panty liners, pads, etc. It represented great freedom to me as well as ending a backache I had for years that I just got used too and mainly ignored.
Thinking of all of you and wishing a nice evening.
Jackie
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Hi everyone..haven't seen this thread before, I love it! Love to see the activity it is getting, I am a 2 time 18 year survivor. Nice to see a thread for us baby boomers!
Ivy
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Welcom Ivylane ( how pretty ) and glad you found us. This is a nice place for "seasoned" people. We do have some issue just due it seems to the seasoning. I'm off to work and will check in later.
Jackie
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Jackie - if stress and adversity help us grow, I think I've grown enough, thank you! It isn't the breast cancer so much as all the other junk in my life - the breast cancer did not help! I, too, try to have a positive approach and sprinkle in lots of humor but some days I sink into the mire. Those are not good days. The site helps a lot.
It amazes me that here you are all with major health issues and other problems and yet you are always there to lend a hand. You cheer us when we have good news and hold us up when the news is not so good. God bless all of you!
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Hi everyone...having a really achy day...can't blame the weather can I? the sun is out in NJ.
Ritajean ..do you have to take armidex even if you are ER- ?
It's great to read about all you long term survivors. Makes me keep going.
Yesterday I was so tired and achy I was ready to stop the Aromasin...it's been a bad week and I get so frustrated that I can't 'do everything I used to do"...not that I want to clean etc. I've had mets to the liver, a brain tumor ( I have a headache and was smelling barbque hamburgers last night at 2 a.m.) and bone mets from the pain in my knee...all in the last 24 hours. I just had a check up but when I get this tired and achy I just know they missed something.. I know the worry doesn't end within 4 years. So I just had some chocolate chips, walnuts and raisins....my candy bar ...at least the nuts and raisins are healthy. It worked for now...who needs drugs.
I get a written report in the mail within a week of my mammo. It says you should check with your doc also but at least it's something. Ask at your imaging center.
I am so nuts today ...I just read that drinking hot liquids like tea and coffee cause cancer....of the throat. Are they nuts? or are they just trying to make everyone nuts with the 'study of the week'?
Have a good weekend everyone.
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