Class of 2009 - Sisters in the same time frame
Comments
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HI Jen,
We ALL feel the same way. You all are the only ones who understand. We are so lucky to have found this site. Still, does not make up for being unlucky enough to get cancer!
Nancy,
Welcome back to the real world. So glad the weather gave you some nice days. Grey, rainy days at the beach are not fun. Still nice here but tides are high so no beach walking.
I am getting in to serious Thanksgiving food mode tomorrow... going to buy my turkeys and maybe green beans if they look like they will last. Lots of different taste buds to please, a different vegetable for nearly every person. And one who eats no sugar nor flour... that makes it complicated. A granddaughter who will only eat mac and cheese right now so it is getting added to the menu for the first time. What fun!
Wishing the best to everyone.
pam
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Juanelle, thanks for the great information. I can only hope that my onc is that good. I really don't know much about HIM. He was referred to me by the surgeon and wasn't a personal choice. So let's hope all goes well. I did like the fact that when Christian his scheduler called me the last thing she said after making my appt. was she looked forward to seeing me and they would take really good care of me. Hope that is a promising future.
The only bad thing about the onc's office is they are an hour away from my home. 
Keeping my fingers crossed!Renee
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renee, I am also an hour away from my Onc. It makes it pretty bad when you have to go 3 or 4 days in a row to get a shot or blood test. My Onc was also recommended by my surgeon. Actually I didn't pick any of my doctors, they were all referrals. I have been very happy with my care after I got over the first hump with the Onc. My surgeon is great, he hasn't released me yet, he just wants to make sure I am getting the care that I need. Of course, he will have to remove my port someday in the future and I am not in any hurry to let him go. He is like my cheerleader.
Pam, it has been raining, cold and windy in Texas this week. Not good for getting out and doing any walking. We did manage a couple of days, but I think it is going to rain thru tomorrow.
jen,you are strong and what ever the SEs are with the Tamox you will get through them. You have come so far, this is just another leg of the journey. Good luck to you.
I don't know what I would do without you guys. You understand all that can happen and are always there for me.
I am Thankful for all of your today.
Juannelle
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Juanelle, my surgeon told me I would be with him for at least 10 yrs. Did yours tell you anything like that? What about you other ladies? I know that the Onc's follow you forever, but I really had no idea that surgeon's would, but that is what I was told. I really do like him I just wish he felt the need to explain things a little more to me. I think that since he knows I am a nurse he doesn't go into quite as much detail as he would with someone else. And though I already understand quite a bit of my Path report I hope my Onc doesn't take the same thing for granted and not explain. I don't know why doctors do that to nurses? They think we know it so they don't tell us! Uggrr!! Oh well you ladies have a great Sat. I hope I feel up to going car shopping.
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Mimi, My onc is like Juannelle, she takes notes and then gives them to me when we are done. I also have an intern or resedent that is working with her, so I get a double dose of Dr.s..I see him first then she come in to discuss anything. I try to think of a few questions each time I go. But I try not to ask to much each time, because I do find it confusing to ask to many medical questions at one time. I think I get the answers mixed up a bit. I know I will be seeing her often so I kind of plan out what I want to ask. Then I can let everything sink in. Take someone with you for sure the first time..
Michele
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Thanks Michele, you and Juanelle have helped a lot. My hubby is going with me since it is the first trip. I just hope he sits there and listens and takes everything in. He has a great memory! much better than mine is, especially right now. I can only hope that my Onc will take notes and give them to me, what a wonderful world that would be. But I am not expecting miracles, I live in Alabama. Haha!!! I must admit as it gets closer to Monday the more nervous I am. I really am worried about the possiblility of having to go through Chemo again. But I also don't want to have a recurrence of BC either. There are days I argue with myself and wonder why did I just not do a Bilat MX and be done with it. It would certainly decrease the risk and the worry. I know that I could still change my mind after all the treatments are over and do a prophyllatic Bilat MX because I think I am a high risk pt. at least in my eyes since I've had Hodgkins Disease before. I'm not sure where that will place me as far as risk factors go with the Onc. It didn't seem to make much difference with my breast surgeon he just kept telling me I think I can save your breast and he did! I guess I'm just having some blue days the last few days. Plus I am quitting smoking and all of this is going on at the holidays which is usually my favorite time of the year. Forgive me ladies I don't mean to be down.
I just didn't expect this Christmas to be like this. I have 2 new grandchildren! I really wanted it to be a happy time. Thanks for letting me bend your ears. LaterHugs
Renee
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Mimi, try not to get down to often...the way I see it, if you let cancer get you down to often, then it is winning...I want to win this battle, so I try to never have negative thoughts...When I do feel like "Why me", I just think, at least it is me and not my kids going through this. I could not deal if it was them..I feel I am taking it for my team..
my surgeon told me that he will get all my reports and follow me as well. He will do any operations that may be needed. He was awsome and I was told he is teh best around. I feel lucky.
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Hey Jen, like you I have been staring at the Tamoxafin bottle contemplating our upcoming relationship with certifiable dread. Last weekend I ran out of perfectly legitimate roadblocks and excuses and swallowed the first pill.......nothing happened.....I took another one the next day, same thing, nothing happened. So far, so good. It's been a week now and I feel OK. If you want to "pal up" on this then open that bottle and let's get this party started!
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Mimi ~ I am sorry you are feeling down. But, I do like Michelle's way of thinking. I will have to remember that when I am feeling sorry for myself as well.
Echo ~ love your cheering on with that bottle of tamoxifen. UGH ~ I dread when that all starts too, but it has to be better then this chemo crap ~
I too am blessed with a great oncologist. LOVE her. ALL of my dr's have been women and I love it !
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How lucky to have all women doctors! We must be blessed here in the great South with only men Oncologist and breast surgeons. LOL! That's all I have seen anyway, plus you know for the insurance you have to stay in the network or they won't pay.
Thanks for the pep talk ladies, it has definitely helped!
Renee
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I've always preferred an older man doctor...not sure why. BUT, my oncologist is a woman and I can't imagine wanting anyone else. She is so comforting and really seems to care about my treatment.
Hope I still love her after port access #2 on Wednesday
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My onco is also a woman and I think I am blessed to have her. She is really the first woman doctor I have been to. I don't know why I have never chosen a woman as my GYN, just never have.
Renee, I like michele's advice to you, you have beaten cancer once and you will do it again. We are all here for you and want you to win. I can't not imagine having to go through this again, but you are strong and want to see those grandchildren grow up.
Juannelle
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Thanks Juanelle! you and Michele are my now my official cheerleaders. haha!! I know I have to take it one day at a time and keep faith. I'm not sure how you ladies talk to your spouses or significant others, but my husband and I haven't really talked much about my cancer. It's there and we know it, but life has gone on day to day just as before, other than the one talk we did have about a possible MX and new foobies which I didn't get. (I think he was a little disappointed, LOL)! He is a very quite and reserved person and doesn't say a lot about how he feels. Sometimes it bothers me that I don't feel I'm getting the support that I need or deserve. I feel like my daughter and my husband think my, or our lives haven't changed, but they have so much. Right now I am still not back to being a 100%. There are days that I just feel like krap and they just don't realize it. Other days I feel awesome and like my old self and can do things that I was doing presurgery/precancer. Anyway thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now, it always seems to help to get things off your chest!
Hugs
Renee
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Hi guys,
I've been reading everyone's posts but just have not had anything earthshaking to add. I'm getting nervous about pulling it all together for T'giving. My knee was great but whatever the surgeon injected it with must have worn off about 2:00 yesterday and I have really been hobbling around ever since. I hope I will awaken tomorrow and be back in gear.
Renee, I was thinking about all the talk about doctors and you (and I) living in smaller communities and here is what I think... with all that is available due to the internet, etc it seems to me ever doctor has all the current info at their finger tips. I did not know enough to know if I was getting good, modern treatment at first. Now I realize how lucky I have been. We live in a marvelous time for sharing information. So if your doctor is young enough or interested enough they have the world in front of them... on line at least.
I hope everyone has a good week, that your turkey dinner is not dry, your pumpkin pie if not soupy, your relatives all behave themselves and you get a great bargain on Black Friday!
pam
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Pam, AAAhhhhh, black Friday...lived in the states for 4 years...What a crazy day..
Mimi, vent away...It can be hard talking about your cancer, but it is there and you should talk about it. I found the hardest part of being diagnosed, was when my kids didn't know, and I couldn't talk about it...Now it is out there and we talk about it all the time..It is almost like a fifth member of the family, we laugh at it and about it. It is part of our lives now. My kids helped cut my hair, try on my wig, and took crazy pictures. It might also help to go together to a counseling session...Or perhaps you can ask your onc to suggest a book. I know at out cancer center they have a great library, perhaps you could check into that..I am sure your dh is as scared as you, but he is trying to be strong for you...the "C Word" is I think one of the scariest word in the dictionary..ok enough of my social work...
I read a good book when I was first diagnosed called "cancer is a word not a sentence" It was a nice easy to understand book about how to deal with cancer without scaring the crap out of you..
Must rest now
Michele.
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mimi...I kind of felt that way, and then all of a sudden he started talking on Friday. It was like the past few months were just some sort of silent male processing phase.
Hang in there, he may surprise you. They are sometimes worried to say the wrong thing so they clam up.
Also we start speaking a new language after dx, and sometimes they just don't understand.
Mine is still grappling with local vs distant recurrance.
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My husband is a retired medical doctor. He knows nothing about breast cancer and does not deal with it one bit better than any other man! It has nothing to do with love or sympathy or educating them... it is all about the Y chromosome! As in "Y" you, "Y" do you have to have that done. "Y" is this impacting your life so much, "Y" do we have to wait so long, "Y" is there no final answer?
Men!
pam
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renee, as good as my DH is I sort of had to train him in breast cancer. He only wanted to hear what he wanted to hear at the doctors, so it is better if he doesn't go with me and I just tell him what he needs to know. I never tell him he can't go, but I have a cousin that goes with me, so he doesn't even volunteer to go anymore.
When I was going through staging and then surgery all he would say to me is that we will get through this and life will go on and we will never have to worry about it. Well, for me I was not going to bury my head in the sand and I knew at any minute they could find something else and then we would have to deal again. So I just would tell him that we can not deny that I have cancer and just go on with life, like nothing was there, I just couldn't do it that way. I think he thought he was encouraging me, but it just wasn't working that way. I just thought he was in denial. We finally got through that. I guess you just get tired of people saying stuff like, "Oh, you'll be OK, they caught it early", "People don't die of breast cancer these days", and things like that.
I am rambling this morning, sorry about that. Anyway, our families have to deal with our dx in their own way and I am sorry yours is sort of shutting you out. I am glad you found us to give you the support you need though this tough time. You can vent here anytime you need.
Juannelle
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Juannelle....I agree....people like certainty. They want "it's gonna be fine"" or it's really serious" For me the reality is, it's unpredictable.
I am hopeful I will have a good outcome, I believe I will, but I have to learn to live with the possibility I may not.
People don't like that so much, it's more complex, but for me I feel more grounded thinking about it that way.
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Hi Guys,
I have a new question that maybe someone could help me with...
I finished my chemo in June dd 4 rounds of AC and than 4 rounds of taxol. I am 39 turned 1 day before my last chemo. Anyway I was put into chemopause by the tx. I was told that I would stay there..
So the problem is now I am lightly spotting. Could this be my cycle returning??? I know this may be a stupid ? but I thought never having to buy a tampon again could be on the plus side of all this..and if my cycle returns will my round belly deflate???after all that was because of the chemopause..or am I going to bloat up bigger???? Yikes and the holidays are coming!!!
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I got an allergic reaction to Taxol infusion #1. The doc is switching me to Abraxane.
Anyone else on ECOG 5103 that continued getting Avastin while on Abraxane?0 -
Justpayton1, it could very well be your cycle starting up again. My ONC told me that younger women often return to having regular periods after chemopause. He said that generally the women that may have started chemo at an age close to a natural menopause would likely get pushed into the real deal once their treatment was over. I am 51 and had regular periods when I began but was also having night sweats which some say is a beginning for peri-menopause symptoms. I am 3 months out from my last chemo and haven't had the slightest inclination that any type of cycle exists. I see that you are ER and PR neg. so I imagine Tamoxefin is not in your future, so years of regular periods just may be.
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Well, first off I have not clue to anyone's questions about spotting. Luckily, I am way past that and since chemo have even quit having night sweats and hot flashes. So maybe, I did get a push, but in a better direction. Sorry about that.
I went to get another Neupogen shot today and I guess it was a good thing. I noticed a place on my gum and it seemed to be swollen and bleed when I brushed my teeth, so I went immediately to my dentist and he put me on an antibiotic for 10 days and said normally I would fight things off like this, but not now. I was glad I didn't wait to go. That is all I need to get a tooth infection right at Thanksgiving.
Hope everyone has a fun, safe and Happy Thanksgiving week.
Juannelle
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Hey Everyone! I met with my Medical Oncologist today and first off I really love him! I was surprised, but I do. He is super nice and easy to talk to and he even explained some things that are going on with the numbness in the back of my arm after the sentinel node dissection that my surgeon did not. O.k. Now for the GREAT News!!!! NO CHEMO!!!!! I only have to do RADS and of course that will be followed by one of the great AI inhibitors (Femara, Arimidex, etc). He did not tell me he was going to do an Oncotype (I totally forgot to ask, stupid.. but i will ask in Feb when I go back). He did say that based on the size of my tumor that it actually put me up to a stage 2, not 1a, but that since my edges were well defined and I had no positive lymphnodes that put me in a gray area for chemo and he thought I would do just as well with the Rads and AI's. So I am happy and Thankful for such and awesome GOD!
I go to see the RAD onc on Dec 2 and I guess he will set everything up from there. On a much more sad note
I found out today that one of my best friends from high school was dx with breast cancer on Nov. 19th. We are exactly the same age. I am very sad! It's bad enough that I am going through this but I hate it so badly that she is going through this as well. She has 3 girls that are all still in high school and younger. She to is a nurse. Please remember her in your prayers. Her name is Rose. Hugs and Prayers to All
Renee
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Mimi, great news. Also good you like your onc so much. It is an important relationship you will have. Trust is huge. ..Sorry to hear about your friend, will add her to the prayer list.
My first cycle with chemo was LLOOONNNGGG. It lasted about 11 or 12 days. Part of me was hoping it was chemopause. I just started again today, I hope it is a little shorter this time.
good sleeps to all.
Michele
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renee, congrats on no CHEMO - wooohooooooooo lol. Sorry that your friend is also going through this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, OK maybe I would. I am glad your Onco is going to work out for you, I would not want to shop doctors.
I go for a blood test today to see what the WBC is. It had better be up or I will have to cancel Thanksgiving. Still feeling good and looking forward to a weekend will with family, food and more food.
Wishing everyone a good day.
Juannelle
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Mimi/Renee ~ DOING the freaking "HAPPY DANCE" for YOU! No chemo ~ that is wonderful news. And I am glad you like your ONC that is very important, as you will be spending years together.
Juanelle ~ good luck with your blood test today. I have a good feeling all will be good. AND REMEMBER now you have a get out of jail free card so if you are not up to THANKSGIVING then rest and stay in your pj's. I just might cook in mine...
Michelle, Echo, Pam, and all of YOU ~ Hope you have a good day. I am feeling weepy due to the approaching holiday, miss my dad who has been gone for many years.
Hugs girls !
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Ahh I am so sorry Alicia. I still have my "biological dad" with me, but I was very close to my step dad as he and my mom were together for 21 years and I miss him terribly at the holidays. We were very close, so on some level I do understand how you feel.
Juanelle I hope that blood count is up and you have the best Thanksgiving ever.
I am a little down today
the stupid medical bills are starting to come in. I have insurance x 2 and they pay o.k. It's United Healthcare and Blue Cross Blue Shield, but never the less, there are going to be some pricey bills it's looking like. Say a prayer because I don't know where the money is gonna come from. Out of thin air I guess? 0 -
MiMi,
We are in the same boat financially. Our local hospital where the majority of my expenses have been incurred, is allowing us to make our deductible as payments instead of having to come up with it all at once. That is great, especially since January (and a new deductible) is just around the corner!
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mimi, I also have United Health Care. I have a pretty good out of pocket expense that I have to pay, and I will probably be close and then the new year will start it all over again. Luckily I have a good job and that means lots at this time.
I have been supercharged, my WBC was 50,000 today. So I have been set loose on the world, wooooohooooo. My house is a mess, the remodeling, that I thought would be finished by now will not be and there is an inch of dust on everything, but you know what I don't really care. My family and my DH's family requested we have Thanksgiving at our house, knowing the circumstances that we are in, so they will get what they get. I don't think they will really care, it is all about the food and the fellowship anyway.
Everyone have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving.
Juanelle
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