MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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I will. Meeting with plastics Friday, and we'll see if I like him. If not, I have two appointments next week. But at the rate this is all going I'm sure I'll be going in just before Christmas.....sigh.....oh well. Better than waiting into the new year. The sooner the better!!
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Hi, I'm new to all of this so I'm hoping I'm typing where I should be.m
I'm 51 years old and was diagnosed on October 1, 2015 with breast cancer in my right breast and its triple negative. I opted to have a double masectomy with tissue expanders put in. They took 4 lymph nodes out and there was microscopic cancer in them. Instead of going back to surgery and taking more lymph nodes we decided to opt for radiation after chemo so my chances for lymphadema would be lower. I had my double masectomy on November 11, 2015 so I am almost 2 weeks out. In 4 days I will get my drains out and I will be able to drive again and go back to work on November 30, 2015. I don't have any problem with the masectomy but I just don't feel "normal". My chest is tight, I don't have a lot of energy and I just want to feel 'normal" again. This morning was the first time I broke down. I didn't break down when I was diagnosed. I just thought, you know thousands of women have gone through this and I am no more special than anyone else so lets do it. This morning I was feeling down and had a good cry while my dog Pepper gave me kisses while I told him how much I loved him. I'm hoping going back to work and having a normal schedule will help me. I have an appointment with my oncologist on December 10, 2015 to get started with chemo. I really feel I need to work through chemo just so I feel life is still moving along plus the fact I am single and just like everyone else I have bills. Thank you for listening and if you have any in sight to help me with all the emotions I'm starting to have I would love to chat.
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Welcome terisc6!
You've definitely found the BEST place for support -- our amazing community is comprised of some pretty incredible members, offering tons of support, advice, and a digital shoulder to lean on
!We're happy you found us. Thank you for joining -- we know you'll get lots of support from others just like you soon.
You may also want to check in on the Chemo forum, where members will soon create the December 2015 Chemo Thread, where you can chat with others going through chemo right along with you!
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
--The Mods
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Is there another forum for older women? I am 79
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terisc6, welcome! You seem to be about on par for someone 2 weeks out from surgery. The emotions will just come at random times and it is better to have a good cry or three than to try and be a stoic superwoman. It's cool if you feel like working thru' your chemo (tho' I do hope your employment is flexible enough that you could take a day or two off as needed..) The chemo cycle is somewhat predictable and you will notice which days of the cycle are the worst. Remember, it is cumulative, so as you get near the finish line, you may feel really wiped out, hence that day or two off I mentioned.
For now, rest up, heal up, try and have a good Thanksgiving; and I hope there not too much "pepper" on your turkey! ;-)
nanaJA, Oh, yes! Browse around. But here are a couple links also:
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/104/topics/728699?page=896
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/104/topics/766521?page=360#idx_10783
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Hi Teri, I won't tell you that your road ahead will be easy. I will tell you that this site has been a godsend for me. The acceptance, understanding.and love I have received from the women here has truly been a lifesaver. They have a wealth of tips and advice for those of us who are new bc dx. Please know you have true loving, and caring friends here who will support you, will not judge you, and who know what you are dealing with! I am not triple neg but my emotions are similar. I invite you to check out crazyown, and insomniacs thread, the women there are so wonderful. I'm sorry your here but I'm so glad to have another friend.
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terisc6-I worked through my chemo treatments back in 2009. I had chemo on Thursday, after work, and I was able to work Fridays, no problem (steroids do that). I had 4 doses, 3 weeks apart. Saturday & Sunday of week 1 were OK and I went to work on Monday, but that was a mistake. Years later we were finding my "Monday mishaps". After that, I just took Mondays off after each treatment. It was cumulative, so by the 4th dose, I was dragging through the weekend, into Monday. Everyone is different though. The one piece of advice I offer-take the meds you are given for nausea, etc as directed. I only had one day where I thought I was going to be sick and that was the 1st Saturday. I had tea & toast and the meds and I was fine.
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nana - age seems to be relative on many of these threads. Find some areas that parallel your own treatment - chemo, surgery, rads, HER2+ - and jump in. I love this thread and read it regularly even though I'm technically past "middle age". Oh wait...is 50 the new 40? If so, 70 is...
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Terisc6--Welcome to the club no one wants to join.We all break down at some point during this process, some of us more than once, or at least I did.And itcomes at different times for each one of us.I hear you about wanting to feel normal, but not even knowing what normal even is anymore.As single women depending on our own income the need to work through treatment looms large for us.It is possible to work through treatment.You may need to ask for some accommodations, but that is taken care of through the American with Disabilities Act, and breast cancer is considered a disability.Having anesthesia, surgery and healing all take energy, and you are going to feel tired for a while.One of the best things you can do for yourself is cuddle up with Pepper and have a good cry when you need it.I wouldn't haven't gotten through without my dogs, so I know what you are talking about.Kisses and unconditional love no matter how hard I was crying.And stay here on the boards, you'll find lots of info and support.
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Welcome to Terisc6. You are only 11 days out from such rough surgery! You are a rock star, my friend! It is normal to have emotions all over the place and yes,, your dog is a great comfort. Mine is too. We are here for you. Definitely look for the Dec 2015 chemo group and have that gang to hang with. If you have questions, someone on this forum will have answers. Radiation, chemo, surgery, lymphedema, etc etc,, there is a forum for it. I learned MOST of my LE info on the LE forum,, I'll tell you that. And you should definitely check on FMLA at your job, that way if you need to take days off for chemo, your job is secured with FMLA. There is also a forum about employment, financial stuff if you need any assistance there.
A welcoming wave to NanaJA! We are flexible with ages here, but as Elimar posted, there are other forums that you might want to check out too.
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Hi terisc6,
You are at the beginning of what may be a longer-than-desired process. If you are like me, the world as you knew it has changed, and will likely not be the same again. The chest tightness you mentioned is very common after surgery, and expanders can add to the "foreign" experience. Recovery from surgery takes time, as does processing your emotions after learning of and progressing through a devastating diagnosis. Be gentle with yourself. Don't try to be superwoman. Let others around you help.
Each of us deals with this disease in individual ways. The women on these forums understand what you're going through, and what works for one may be different for another. You can be assured however, that you will get caring support that can help carry you through the rough patches. They will be there, but if you're like me, one day your active treatment will be over and you won't think about BC every day. You will get beyond it. You will have learned just what you are capable of, and become stronger in many ways.
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Hi terisc6! Welcome to the club nobody wants to be a member of. I wish you the best in your quest!!
I too am about to have a double mastectomy and reconstruction with tissue expanders. I just got my surgery date this morning, and it's December 16th. How ever did you manage to get yourself back to work so quickly, and how is that going? Are you driving yourself there? Are you able to work full days? I'm very curious. Some women need more time off than others, and although I usually bounce rather quickly, I find the anesthetic takes its' time removing itself from my system - so I end up with bad headaches if I do too much too fast....Do tell me your secret at being ready to go back so quickly. I'd appreciate it!!!
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Hi Ladies,
In August, I had a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound and was told I needed to find a breast surgeon for an excisional biopsy. Was pretty sure I had breast cancer after hearing that news. I was diagnosed with cancer in my left breast that is triple positive in September 2015. On November 12, I had a BMX with TEs. I thought I was handling it pretty well and never cried until today. I am having some problems with allergies to meds, some med SEs, pain and chest tightness. Think I'll be having more treatments soon but nothing is definite yet. I also work and am out on FMLA now, wondering how I'm going to get through all that lies ahead of me. Just thought I'd introduce myself to this group today. Thanks for listening
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Welcome keepsake.. One day at a time,,, come here and rant to us. We get you!!
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As we approach the holidays...just remember, if you are newly diagnosed, recovering from surgery, or just trying to hold your own while in active treatment--don't stress over the holidays. All reasonable friends and relations will understand if you are not up for the gauntlet of the holiday season. Don't push it (especially the shopping with all those people coughing in your face!) and remember that what you are going thru' this year is so that you are around for many more holidays to come, so just relax and enjoy as best you can.
Happy Thanksgiving Middies, old and new. Have a great day Thursday!
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Happy Thanksgiving Middies! May you have a wonderful time in whatever you do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzDxt6axexs0 -
Happy Thanksgiving Ladies
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oh, where oh where is everyone?
I've been exhausted and so overwhelmed at work. And I am semi retired (haha)
It must have been all that turkey you guys ate!
I hope the new ladies are finding more active threads!
I really thought my energy would approve after ceasing the Tamox, and then even the "natural aromatose inhibitor". But not happening!
I have one doctor suggesting being treated for Lyme since I test positive and have never been treated. The second western blot test comes back negative. So I don't know! It is so prevalent here.
I have my annual squeeze and feel appts next week. I am telling myself it is no big deal (I'm 4 years out) My DD is going with me and we'll stay off island and get some Christmas shopping done. but I have that small niggling thought saying what if.............
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Mac-Good Luck with the Mammo. It has been quiet here.......So I'll ask...
Loral
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Hi all, Well I've been working. Got released from training mid November and in the 3 weeks since then I have accumulated over 15-20 hours each week in overtime. Who knew? But, I am enjoying the job and have excellent health coverage, which was the goal!!!
Thanksgiving was a tad weird this year. 1st without my Dad and the gathering just wasn't the same (at my step mom's relatives home). Everyone avoided sitting where Dad used to sit, etc. Just a hole.
But, it's the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!
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Sorry, I cannot be as attentive to Newbies as I once was. I have all the knowledge/memories of my own saga, but the relevance is slipping for me. Have really just moved past cancer, cancer, cancer 24/7, and I cannot give it the same attention as before.
I guess I am still being followed by my MO, and maybe that never ends but I am keeping my docs to the bare minimum. After all that treatment, who wouldn't want to go on doctor hiatus for as long as prudently possible? Like if I never had to see one again...no skin off my breast (I paraphrased that saying!)
Oldbies, I don't do Facebook, but anyone also in "beyond phase" who wanted to say hello could still use the PM on here. I do look in now and then.
Kind of hoped some Middies might keep this thread going, but there is always the lure to make a new and (allegedly) improved thread covering the mid-years. Well, the foundation has been laid (meaning: before this thread there were threads only for "young" and "older") so now that the mid-age niche is established...anyone can just run with it, can't they?
But how many can SKIP like I can?
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eli, I can barely walk, but I am a little over the hill in every way but my mind.
wow eph, working so hard! Isn't that a stressful job?
My brain is working so slow these days I wouldn't want anyone's life to depend on it!
thanks for the good thoughts, Loral.
I think when I was first dx I liked seeing that there were people that had moved on into life as normal as possible again. That life could move forward. It was also so good just to have women to "talk" to about my new reality.
But the only constant in life is change.
Even my local BC support group is not meeting anymore because no one is stepping up to facilitate.
My get up and go has gone away and I just can't do what I use to do all the time.
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Congrats, mac, on reaching the four year mark! Hope your interval check-up went well and you did not wind up too squished. So, do you think you will continue on the anti-hormonals past the five year point?
You mentioned Christmas shopping and it must have been nice going with a daughter. When I went out, all by my lonesome, all I got was 2-3 people coughing in my face in every store. (I started feeling scrooge-y, and just went home...where all the cough-free online shopping is.)
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Hi elimar. Don't forget that there may be some woman in future, that will devour with happiness all the posts from all of the women here in this home you have made. I know I like to start threads from the beginning, to see if my questions might be answered, and to get a feel for the place. The only sad part is, is that all the headers you ever brought to us, will not be seen again...boo
Macatacv, I have been to see a pain management doc, and one of the things he did, was give me an extremely small dose of a blood pressure medicine. He is an anesthesiologist at my tx place. He said even though my blood pressure has always been perfect, it will not harm it. Skeptical me, I went ahead and tried it. The next day, I found myself practically running up and down the stairs, and couldn't get my chores done fast enough! I had so much energy! Like the old me. And it was great, because one of my other 'chief complaints' was severe lack of energy. For three years now. So, when I saw him again, I had to tell him I actually felt more pain, and not less, because of how unaccustomed I had become to all that movement, for almost all day. Next, he wants to do a branch block shot that will take care of my ongoing breast and axilla pain, especially my armpit, where the whole thing was filled with huge cancerous nodes, spilling out. Yeah, probably some disruption to the nerves there... I am pretty worried about that shot. I don't want my lung collapsed, again, or to be paralyzed.
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Guess the thread is moving along so slowly now, if we are still on the page with Thanksgiving pictures right above. Well, I do hope that all, old and new, are all set to enjoy the holidays despite BC. Why, I am enjoying the solstice right now. How 'bout you?
With two cancers under my belt (literally, just one was in that location,) I have been thru' every single season in some form of active treatment, and the time I had to go through my pre-surgery chemo and rads combo right thru' December was the worst. I really feel for anyone who is being assaulted by the chemo poison right now, because all the yummy holiday treats just taste like gak. All of the sugary treats tasted the gakiest to me. Luckily (and you cannot really call this lucky) during my Xmas time chemo, in order not to do a stint in the hospital, they gave me the whole week between Christmas and New Year's off. Of course, the taste buds could not rebound in that short of time, but I did feel less poisoned for a short while, at least. Small mercies.
The holidays are a time with family, but nevertheless try to relax and have fun. Haha!
Merry Best Wishes to All!
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all who read this. At this time of year I'm very grateful for this website and all you ladies who share your trials and tribulations with
us strangers. Peace!
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I am here! I love the warm little town you put there, elimar. I want to live there. When I was going through chemo, my favorite thing to eat was doritos, the spicy ones, and cheetos. over and over and over again.
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Loral, how right you are. Having the BCO community here for support can keep one buoyant thru' most times when BC and its treatment threatens to drag one under. The benefit to our mental health alone (during holidays, or ANY time of the year) is worthy of the heartiest of thanks!
Tomboy, Sister-girl, if you scarfed the Cheetos throughout chemo, you just might qualify as the rightful heir to this thread. You are even more righteous and hardcore about your Cheetos than I am.
BTW, the scene in the page top photo is of a German "Christmas Market." Sure beats the shopping mall. I have been hearing a lot about them this year from family and friends over in Europe. Doesn't it look totally charming? I want to go there too!
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Elimar - as long as we're going to dream, I understand there are river cruises along the Rhine &/or Rhone that stop at several Christmas Markets in Germany. What a decadent holiday!!
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Dear Ladies, for a little holiday cheer, look here
French Firemen0
