MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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I made one of the beret's today. It was really easy. If anyone is going to make one I would suggest to make the circle parts one inch smaller as it just looked too big and I had to alter it.
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Eli welcome home.
Welcome to the newbies this is a great place to hand. Gail Ann I live a little over an hour from you. My PS is in SA had my BMX at Methodist. Since march of last year I was a regular in SA but glad to say at my last appt I don't have to go back until Nov. My MO is in New Braunfels so I frequent there a lot. Who is your MO in SA?
Diana Rose I am so sorry that you have been in such a dark place. My Dad died at 49 of a massive heart attach so I have always been aware the curve balls life can bring. And some just don't seem fair at all. Hope you will hang around here more and let us love on you.
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I have been fighting with United Healthcare since Nov. when they verbally cleared me (over the phone) for in-network benefits when I went to an out-of-network group for a second opinion, then after the appt. they came up with some crap story and only wanted to pay the customary out-of-network rate.
Well, three months, three phone calls, and five emails later, I have prevailed. UHC had to suck it up and pay. I had to get my state's Consumer Affairs Division for insurance involved along the way. Naturally, I am happy. Yay me! But, you know, so many are not able to stand up for themselves in situations like these. That really disturbs me; and it made me doubly determined and gave me the patience to see it through just on principle alone. The money was ~$350...but the satisfaction = PRICELESS!!!!!!!
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Diana, I hope you are coming to the thread often for the laughs, even if you're not posting as much. Hugs hon ... give yourself time.
Mame, I used short term disability during rads. It was an AFLAC policy (sorry for putting that quack into all of your heads now!!!) I had to fight with them in the beginning about something or other, I forget now since it was 7 yrs ago, but like Eli, I fought and prevailed and after that I had no problem for the 6-9 weeks I was home. I worked from home during that time period and even when I was done rads, for another couple weeks till the managing partner finally wrote and said that I could take my time, but he looked forward to my coming back!
Eli, glad you're home safe and sound and I too am looking forward to tales and pics
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Get anything about disabilty or FMLA in writing. I couldn't get short term disability during rads 'cause they said that it doesn't interfere with work, and has no significant side effects. I was asking for it cause the entire breast had a 3rd degree burn and I had to change the dressing every couple of hours and was taking pain meds, so I really couldn't work with sick patients, too much infection risk and can't caluclate med doses while on narcs. This was after I got a verbal OK. I gave up on that fight. But one must be very active and inolved and advocating for themselves during this journey.
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Welcome ruehyg & GailAnn. This is such a great place and I know you will find a lot of support here.
Welcome home, Eli~. Hope you had a nice trip.
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Here it is. Caribbean Cruise - Part One:
Like for Alaska, I again booked on Norwegian Cruise Lines, being a fan of the "freestyle dining," (which is 70% open seating for any dinner time you want, compared to other lines that use two main dinner seating times.) This time it was the Norwegian Star, sailing out of New Orleans. Right off the bat, I knew I would be starting cruise day down in Jackson Square Park (pic #1,) with some coffee and beinets from the Cafe du Monde. I took this time to phone my son and during the call the bells in Cathedral St. Louis started to ring out, so he got some authentic N.O audio on that call. We had some time to stroll around the French Quarter, check out Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo on Bourbon St. With Mardi Gras just five days past, we saw lots of decorations still up (pic #2, opposite corner from Marie's.)
We set sail around 4 p.m., down the Mississippi. You think of N.O. as being right on the gulf, but it's not. We were still slowly making our way down the delta by the time it got dark. That night was the best meal, because it was surf and turf with lobster. I'm not going to mention all of the overall good and plentiful food, but I mention this meal because after having had a reaction to the CT contrast dye, I had been told to avoid all shellfish (as if I would listen) so this lobster was a major test and I passed it.
The next day was at sea and with the sea breeze it was not yet swimsuit weather on the deck (for me) but nice enough to be out playing shuffleboard. I found out I was pretty good at cruise ship trivia games last time, so besides the individual games, my husband and I signed on to do "progressive" trivia on a team with three others that we would have to play for all six of the days and the score would be cumulative. We did o.k. the first night.
Our first port was Costa Maya, Mexico. For me, terrible. It is a "village" made specifically for cruise ships to stop at, and there are little shops but it is just shopping at the company store because they all kick back money to the cruise lines. It was a walled in compound (pics #4 & 5) that you could not stroll past on the beach; although you could see nice sand on the other side of the wall you could not get to it. If you did walk out of the compound at the back, you would need a machete to hack your way to the sandy shore. Try going thru' security with one of those in your luggage. In front of the compound were the large rocks, and it looked risky to go out on them, and that's why no one is in the water. Many people take $ide excursion$ from here, but my shoestring budget did not allow this.
If I could have afforded it, it would have been a good place to zipline. Instead, with some folks being off the ship on this first warm day, we took advantage to use the less crowded pool area. Below (the Google pic I had at the top all last week) is the actual pool on the Star. By the time the trip was over, I had been down both slides and in all four hot tubs on this deck. With my white blood cells still on the low side, this could have been more perilous than those rocks at Costa Maya, I don't know.
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How high up are those slides E?
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Welcome back Elimar!!
Great Pics and glad you had a good time on the ship! Glad the 'rebel' in you did not get you into trouble!! (ie; lobster, hot tubs etc.)
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You really like to live on the edge huh Eli? Lobster... hottub... Sounds like you had a good time. Thanks for sharing with us.
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Eph, I don't really know, maybe equal to two flights of stairs to get to the top of those slides. Low water flow made it a slow slide down. Probably fast enough for a child's weight.
I went to my RO today. He said I looked healed up (and if I didn't tell you I had a bit of buttcrack peel when treatment finished, then I'm telling you now. It was exactly like my breast had done, one thin layer turned a ghastly greyish color and then peeled off. No biggie.) So, he told me he would not be seeing me again unless I made an appointment. I asked him if he would get the reports of my surgery, to see whether I got my Complete Response (in other words, if I was in the 10%-er club) or if I should just stop by to do a happy dance if I did. He told me he would be watching for my report, hoped I was in that 10% and said I was welcome to stop by anytime.
The RO gang was my favortie group in my team. They had a rockin' candy dish assortment AND one of those waiting room aviaries with about 17 or18 birds. (Yes, I did count them every time because once I had to report a dead one in there.) With the amount of time I have spent in waiting rooms lately, the decor can make all the difference, don't you agree?
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Eli, loved the pics and stories. I so wish my hub liked to cruise. We did one and he loved it, but has no desire to do another. How is that possible? Ha! Your comment about waiting rooms and decor got to me. I totally did inventory in each hosp waiting room, all drs, etc. I had totally forgotten about that. Is it just another thing in a long list where you and I are similar, or do we all do that? I'm really curious to see others' answers.
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Dianarose.. beautiful song.. thank you just what I needed tonight
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I could tell which waiting rooms had only "medical" type mags or business/hunting types or a few tattered women's mags. Hate going to my gyn. Only baby mags. What about us old farts? And most of them are way tooooo cold. My glaucoma doc has blankets available in waiting room. Now my germaphobia won't let me use them but I do think it is thoughtful. The very coldest place I've been in this year long journey was of all places the breast center where my wire loc was placed. For heavens sake you're already half nekkid in those places. I PTL was wrapped in blankets from the warmer. Bless my transporter's heart.
Eli - Glad you had a wonderful cruise. No blown engines or Norovirus. And I guess lobster is back on the menu. Hoping for the 10%'er club for you.
Dianarose - Love bakeries. Do you deliver???
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Wow, what a cool break that must have been, cruising around and just kicking back in style! Sounds like you earned it, Eli.
I just saw the waiting area in the new cancer center building I will be going to, and I was impressed! Modern, clean, aesthetic, and with a huge fish tank front and center. The treatment waiting area, for rads or chemo, was actually nicer than the general waiting place up front. As much as I hate going to treatment for stupid cancer, I appreciated an upscale and well kept atmosphere. It takes the edge off a little.
Take care, all.
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Eli, I'm so happy you're back I missed you! Thanks for the running commentary...love it! xoxo Jo
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Thanks. There is more to tell, and I'll try and put that on later. I wish every one of you who has not yet cruised could go on one...the week of no cooking makes it a pretty good vacation just for that reason alone. (That chore was always a drawback to camping or condo at the beach.)
Mar, One of my favorite parts of the cruise was when my husband made this comment on the second or third day, "I have a confession to make...you make going on a cruise fun." What he meant was, he would not remember (or not bother to read the daily newsletter about) what was going on all over the ship, but I did bother and so he could just follow along without any effort on his part. He liked the just showing up for meals too. That, and vacation sex. Ahahaha. Now, back at home, he has already said, "I'd go on another cruise sometime." Now it is just up to me to pull through my surgery.
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Ah, a group I fit in. Diagnosed two days ago with Stage IV, and I am 46. I have three boys, 20, 18 and almost 15. They are sad. Understandably so. I also have another boy, my husband. He is 53. A rock. Takes such wonderful care of me that I feel guilty having him. Yesterday, I spent the day sulking, and swearing I wouldn't do it again today. That said, I kinda am....so need to find a way to snap out of it. Seems like every time I go to do something, I hear this nagging voice in my head reminding me that....You've got cancer, how long before it hits your liver, lungs, etc? Then whatcha gonna do about THAT?.
I keep reading post after post. Such strength and compassion here. So many people on this board who have never met, yet brighten the lives of the other everyday by sending some word or two of encouragement. Does it matter that a stranger is sending you good wishes? I think it does. I've reached out via PM to two women. Both of their answers left me in tears. Seems like I find hope here that I can learn to LIVE with cancer, not DIE with it.....and then I read of an angel, and think no....you're going too....just a matter of when. I've an aggressive cancer according to the biopsy. I have always been a fighter, and have had many orthopedic issues since birth but CANCER? No way. So, another day....and I keep saying to myself you should book that cruise you wanted to take, and then I stop and think about all of the tests that my onc keeps ordering and their co-pays, and my mortgage, and car payment, and everything else, and I think "are you nuts....you're gonna go on a cruise....NOW???". You know.....I may just go anyway. What's the worst they can do to me? I'd love to feel some warm air on my face, and look at some crystal blue water (the Jersey shore oceans....you cannot see your feet a foot in.....not so clear!!). I am lucky to have insurance in the first place, as I've read posts from others who do not, and my heart breaks because I cannot fathom that.
Anyway, whining and venting. I don't know how to stop, but I do know I must. Mind over matter maybe. I don't know.
May all of your days be just a little better than yesterday. Find myself struggling to think of what to say to anyone with this disease, as I don't want to say some of the stupid things people have said to me.....I don't blame them at all.....but when my husband says...."we're gonna deal with this til they find a cure"....my heart breaks for him.
Lynn
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Welcome Jlynn0807! I hope you will post again and tell us more of your diagnosis, or you can enter that info. into your profile and have it appear at the bottom of your posts, like some of us have it, if you want to. I'm asking for the info. because this group is women with all different types of B/C (but I bet we have some similar to you and similar in treatment.)
With your Dx being so new, just allow yourself time to sulk and be angry. It's very normal to have ALL the possible feelings just come flooding in. With cancer, you kind of have to go through those stages of grief. In the beginning, all those tests and appointments can really make your head spin, but hopefully it will settle into a more low key kind of maintenance schedule. I'm sure you will get some comments from the other Stage IV ladies here, on how there does come a time where cancer does not occupy your every waking moment.
I got my B/C diagnosis when my two sons were 19 & 17. They did not seem overly concerned. My husband didn't either. For quite a while I thought it was because they didn't have breasts and just didn't get it BUT later it was revealed that (because of my Stage and the early detection) they all felt like this was something I could easily beat. Well, so far so good, but I have had plenty of time to re-educate them about slow-growing, estrogen fed cancer so now they know it is not all "treatment and done," and that I have to wait and see for a long time to come whether I am truly done with it or not.
On this thread, we never shy away from the cancer talk, but we also just talk about daily life and all the "fun" of being middle-aged. You only need about five minutes on this thread (or any on BCO, really) to know that you are not alone with this awful disease. We are together in this and we understand each other here. Glad you found us and I am terribly sorry that you had to come looking.
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Elli sounds like you had a great time and daredevil you eating lobster.
jlynn welcome this is a great group of women. We have all been at the whining sulking stage at some time so don't feel back coming here and doing it too. But we also have lot's of fun.
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Lynn, welcome and of course you are freakin sulking. This stupid beast sucks. All the same, we are happy to have you, sulk and all
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Caribbean Cruise - Part Two
I forgot to mention that, as a return customer, I got an invite to a Captain's welcome party, with the main benefit being free drinks. I had a tasty rum punch, and nothing says Caribbean quite like a tasty rum punch! At $8 a beer, you can rack up a hefty bar tab if you aren't careful, so I did tend to show up where they had a free glass of something. Like my Alaskan cruise, this cruise also had several art auctions (free glass of champagne.) My DH got a steal of a deal on a print, and then won a raffle for another print, so we both enjoyed the auctions.
The next port was Belize City. A lot of people don't even go ashore here. We wanted to because since the bay is so shallow, tender boats have to come out and take you to shore. Never did that before, so it was a little boat ride (pic #5.) There was a little, but not much, shopping around the port and, of course, the side excursions, but for people hoofing it around (like us) there was not much nearby. No nearby beach within walking distance. Belize City looks nice enough from the water (pic #6,) but the area around the port was a poor, ghetto-looking area. I don't want to say it was squalor, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't. I'm not just commenting because the common housing materials were stucco, concrete blocks and corrugated sheet metal, but because things looked dirty and had black mold on them. We walked past a few Catholic schools and could hear the kids doing the lessons inside. There were street sellers (not part of the cruise ship monopoly) with various goods. I slowed down to look at a panther carved from local wood. When I declined the seller's offer on one of them, he informed me he also had some "medically grown." I declined on that too, but considering that my state doesn't offer any "medically grown," maybe I should have heard him out.
We weren't on shore very long here either. It was after this third day that some of the evening shows started to appeal to us, and we saw a different hour long show each night. First up was a Second City comedy troupe, skits and improv; then Sharkbait, a comedy-juggling duo who've been on Letterman; then came "Shout," a musical with 5 girls in swingin' 60's London; and finally a show called "Elements," which was full on costumed, dancing in the aisles choreography plus trapeze acrobatics, interspersed with several segments of illusion magic. I honestly could not believe this was a shipboard production, that is how elaborate it was. If you ever read the online ratings for cruise ship entertainment, Norwegian does rank pretty high.
In case you were wondering about my trivia team, we were in third place, just a few points off from the two lead teams. The two teams that were doing better were groups that were travelling together, not like ours who had just met. Our team name: The Misfits.
Neither my husband or I really made too much of an effort at photography this trip (sorry) and then we also like to take weird pictures. Like when we noticed our ship had been in a fender bender (pic #7.) Or when I discovered that ALL the Norwegian lines like to surprise you with towel animals in the room (pic #8.) But don't worry, there is one more installment, and I am sure that some of you will be shocked that these pictures will have me in them. Yes, really.
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Thanks Elimar...I'm really enjoying your vacation with you.......
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jlynn0807-howdy! My 2 cents-take the cruise! And please know that venting & whining is fine here whether you are 2 days from diagnosis or years away.
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Thanks for the welcome, everyone! Sherry, it's good to hear from someone from my neck of the woods. I had my lumpectomy at Methodist, My surgeon is Dr. Rosenthal and he's doing my port this Friday at Christus Outpatient Surgical Center. My oncologist is Dr. Lon Smith at the START center and I have my first chemo treatment March 7. I'll have 4 cycles plus two more if I tolerate those well enough.
To those of you fighting with insurance companies, oh my goodness, can I relate?! Things seem to be ok for now with Humana, but in the beginning of the year they somehow accidentally deleted me from their system, so when my surgeon and radiologist were trying to call to verify coverage Humana had no record of me. Aetna handles FMLA for my employer and I cannot call them without them messing something up. I just dread having to contact them. This is hard enough to deal with now when I don't feel crummy!
Overall right now, though I'm doing fine and feeling calm and optomistic. I'm thankful to have lots of great friends and family praying for me and available if I need them.
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Hello Jlynn0807 and welcome! Feel free to sulk, whine and bitch here. It's the place to go where you will be understood. Yes, you may not see your toes in the Jersey shore oceans, but what I wouldn't give lay on the hot crowded sand, to walk the boardwalk, and have a cheese-steak sandwich! Oh wait, Seaside, the way I remember it, is no longer!
Okay then, a cruise it is!0 -
Welcome newbies! Please feel free to vent and whine - we all do it and this is the place to let it all out. I'm approaching 3 years out and my family and friends don't even think there's an issue any more, but oh yeah, there's an issue. There's lots of issues! And I know the ladies here understand what I'm talking about. So we got yer back! As far as trying not to worry all the time, I think I've mastered what they say men do - I compartmentalize things now. So cancer and scans all go one place, which I ignore. Happy things stay front and center. Dreaded responsibilities like bills go in another compartment, which I will pull up about once or twice a month and deal with. Now I know how men handle it all, and how they can be oblivious of anything wrong they've ever done - it's not accessible in their brains. They don't know what you're talking about, haha!
Welcome back, Elimar! So glad you got away for a while. I love the vacation story so far - the entertainment sounds great. Okay, you sold me - Norwegian Cruise Lines it is. I like the idea of sailing out of New Orleans and going down the mighty Mississippi.
Everyone's medical centers sound so nice - mine is so depressing. I almost chose another onc because I remember how depressing her office was when my mother had breast cancer. But she's the best one around, so I went with her. But I am NOT in my happy place when I visit there. Of course, I guess none of us are. I wish I could redecorate it for her.
Marlegal, at first I thought you were right about having a 24-hour bug but I continued to be wiped out after the scan last Tuesday. Today I finally felt a little more energetic. I got my hair trimmed and some layers put in but now I'm exhausted. So, I think I'll go lay down for a minute... or two.
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Welcome jlynn - so sorry that you had to find your way to these boards but you have fallen upon one of the best places for support, encouragement, laughs and tears. I hope you come by often as we would love to get to know you better. Stage IV is a scary place to be for sure. I wouldn't say that you'll ever be comfortable with it, but you will find that the happy thoughts begin to creep back in more and more. ((Hugs))
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Jlynn, another welcome. I live just outside Phila, and we have a place in a campground outside Cape May Courthouse. It's on the bay side and we usually just use that beach unless we have company who want to go over to Stone Harbor. Where are you from? I hope we can help you smile as much as possible, but we'll cry with you too if necessary. Gentle hugs.
Eli, love the stories so far. The one cruise we went on was with Norwegian and that's the only one I would do if I'm lucky enough to go again. I agree about the quality of the shows. Can't wait to see your pics of YOU! Please don't delete till I have a chance to see them0 -
Heartnsoul, I have a girlfriend who always says that I think like a man. I guess she may be right, since I do exactly what you describe. Here I thought it was the femara
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