The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Hmmm. A simple positive attitude will prevent cancer. Too bad it doesn't work on complex illnesses like the common cold.
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SAS- too funny. I had to go back and see if I really wanted cow patties back there! It was late/early. I do know where we can get some if we need some for a cure. Theres a pasture right behind my house. May be a bit dry with the weather, but...
Have a good night ladies. I'm about to celebrate turning 39 for a second time. Maybe I'll just go with 40 since 39 wasn't such a good year. Cheers!0 -
40's pretty good, but I liked 50 better. Now with bc I'm looking forward to 60!!
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vhshea-------what a difference one word can make--------- anger is different than venom. Unless you qualify the venom as being available after a recent strike, which it is less toxic, versus venom that is involved after hibernation which is very concentrated and very deadly. Avoid springtime snakes.
Reread our posts. Anger not venom. I have lurked on venomous threads just to see what is happening. I would say there are threads with springtime snakes. Avoid with due dillegence.
Expressing ourselves in disagreement is not venom. Barbe started with "Them's fighting words". That's not venom. She bared her soul, to point out that no assumption should be made by anyone. Had she not done it, I would have. So, I will now. Others have heard it all before. Both my DH and I were dx'd 3 months apart. Mine BC his Lymphoma. He died Aug 2010. We lived through hell. I had a fall in a patients home 3 months pre BC, that caused a permanent brain injury---I lost my livelihood. Incidental brain tumor dx'd right before bx. In fact told of it one hour before bx. Thousands of details left out. It is why, I said I stood with Barbe and her response.
Positive didn't get us anywhere with cancer. You could never have meet a more positive man than my dear husband. He could make anyone laugh in minutes. He could get someones life story on an elevator ride(somewhat exaggeration). But he was dealt a gene that no one can be cured from---no one. That gene takes all lives-------so positive was suppose to get him out of that pickle how?
Attempts at happiness, in the time we are given, is what we strive for our entire lives, but if something like an aberrant gene occurs that is lethal--- attitude , diet, exercise, nothing will change the course. We that have lived through cancer, lived b/c it happened, those that don't live had no control over the gene or oncogene that caused their demise. Science can do much to stop the less lethal genes, that is why we have all gone through treatment -------the hope our cancer can be stopped. Those that die , didn't die b/c of anything they did or didn't do. Their cancer could not be stopped.
If you want to talk about the dumbest thing I have heard anyone say, is when they say I have cancer "but I had no risk factors, I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, i ate well. I exercised. I did everything right---how could this happen?" We know allot about cancer, but at the end of the day like the close of Wall-street and the markets going up and down. We can only analyse what we think we know. AND then make our best guess and hope we're right.
Starak----thank you for apoligizing, it is appreciated. I have put my foot in my mouth as well as in cow cakes, thankfully not at the same time. I was appreciative on the thread that it happened, those there forgave me. It was the first thread I was on, and they were with me when Greg died months later. What I wrote about understanding the culture and focus of a thread on the previous page is seriously important. BCO is a wonderful place to be, but it is a microcosm of society. Words are our way of communicating and must be chosen with care.
So lets all be done with this. Starak was /is new, and made a mistake. We were all green at one time. OH becareful using the word PINK-------most/ many dislike this word
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wow what an article and what an idiot!!!!!.. I did get a laugh out of it oh thats POSITIVE RIGHT??/ LOL
Lassie.. enjoyed the link you posted thanks!
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Well, chemo never made me barf but that article almost did!
So, medical studies have PROVEN that a positive attitude prevents cancer? Really? And just how was that measured?
I'm positive, all right. I'm positive that my attitude won't affect the number of cancer cells in my body. I'm also positve that they guy who wrote the article makes lots of $$$ from his nonsense.
Leah
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joining the conversation late, but I have one. After four weeks off for a blmx, SNB on both sides and reconstruction with latissimus dorsi flap surgery on both sides, I had someone at work ask "did you have a good time while you were off?". Oh yes, it was a blast!
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bcisnofun.. oh my that deserves the bus!!!!
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I need someone thrown under the bus!
My husband ran into a gal that worked in the same building as I did. She said to my husband "I'm just waiting to get what your wife has". What a freakin' b***h! Really, you're waiting to get your boobs cut off, all your womanly goods taken out, early menopause, four surgeries in seven months and medication for the next five years? What a total idiot!
Jay, where is that bus???
Edit: When I read this in print, maybe what she really wants is my hot husband!
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Slinky, she's an idiot. What did your husband say?
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Hi ladies!
I sent out an email to all of my close girlfriends letting them know what was going on when I got my BC dx. There was one in particular that I did not hear back from at all. So, one of our mutual girlfriends gave her a call to see why she has not called me nor expressed concern. She said, "oh, I did not realize it was serious, I thought it was a pre-cancer." Really? I guess invasive ductal carcinoma stage 1 translates to "not so serious pre-cancer". Wow.
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Read the article!! He certainly needs the bus and it needs to reverse as well - several times.
Really startled a shop assistant today. She asked me where I got my pretty gauntlet from as she needs on for her hand. She has RSI I was sympathetic and said that I hoped she didn't need it as it my sleeve and glove are for LE. She stares blankly so I inform her in quite a bit of detail why I wear it. She was so taken aback and appologised for asking. I told her I didn't mind at all but nearly hit her when she said that she has lots of pink things to support BC. I said I hoped she got them from the right places so that the money went to the research for a cure and that she would be better to donate directly. Poor thing didn't know what to say.
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bcisnofun, my husband didn't say anything - he just gave her a shitty look. He is a man of very few words and he looks mean, so hopefully the biatch got the message.
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OK, I'm late (as usual), but that article really pissed me off. I didn't get past "it is annoying that most women still do not take active steps towards protecting themselves from this dreaded condition." before a red haze clouded my vision. I seriously couldn't finish it, I was so angry. His pic shows a smug, chubby, balding man. Maybe I should point out that it's annoying he can't control his weight and that he's just setting himself up for a heart attack.
Also, you can click on how helpful you found his article. It looked like I was the first to give him a ding. Now, where's that bus?
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That article by the Russell guy was nauseating, so much so that I must confess not to have read it all. The important thing is to put it in context of the argument by Barbara Eherereich that the "think positive and you will be cured" stuff is nonsense, dangerous nonsense with a blame the victim basis.
One of my memorable exchanges was with a woman in my town. I knew that she had had breast cancer and was back at work and living her (very busy, very accomplished) life. She knew that I was in the midst of chemo at that point. She said she thought maybe she got it because she was too thin. I said I thought maybe I got it because I am too fat. We laughed and agreed we got it because we got it. There is no reason.
We all know that if we had a choice we most definitely would not have chosen to have breast cancer. Why is that so hard for the "think positive" culture to understand?
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The topper for me is the RN that works in my doctors office. When I was first diagnosed and my doctor told the staff that anytime I called to give me an appointment said:
you know, it's so important for you to keep a positive attitude. It really can make a difference.
Wow - if only I had known - maybe having a positive attitude all the time would of kept me from having breast cancer...........no way.
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Hi everyone so my surgery is 10am tomorrow for my bmx. Trying to relax. I have a funny story. So my "friend" sent me this email last week telling me that if I drink Lemonaide it will cure cancer even better than chemo but the drug companies are keeping it a secret. So I HATE LEMONAIDE but for the last week its all I drank 3 times a day with every meal and in between. Then I decided to research today and found out its so not true. Wow am I that stupid. Anyway lol so well wishers sending me cures everyday is NOT helping!!!!!! The moral----- people can tell us dumb stuff but we don't have to listen!!!!
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At least drinking lemonade doesn't hurt you. And with this weather lately, I'm drinking a lot of lemonade myself. Now I need to get my heinie to the State Fair and have a Lemon Shake-up. With an Elephant Ear.
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People who claim the positive-ness prevents/cures, obviously haven't walked our paths. That's why they don't get it and its the only thing they can come up with on the spur of the moment. yep, it's basically a blame the stricken one kind of thing because there is no clear cut answer in sooooo many cases of the disease. Methinks they are lazily drifting down the "river denial" until the beast pops up and bites them too! I hope they can stay positive after that...
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sas-schatzi - Thank you. Pehaps there is hope for me yet as my one redeeming quality may be that I hate pink? LOL
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Eh, pink-schmink. I still like it, but it's used too much by others...
Starak, we're all members, sorry you had to join, but wish you well on your journey0 -
------THERE IS A HEN HOUSE PARTY in OMG THEY FOUND A CURE FOR STUPID. iT'S BEEN QUIET FOR AWHILE. VEGGEY HAS KEPT IT GOING
http://community.breastcancer.org/102/topic/765586?page=122#idx_3635
EVENTUALLY TRY AND READ FROM PAGE ONE, IT IS A COMEDY CLASSIC------WORTHY OF THE OLD SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. MAKES FUN OF EVERYTHING. AROUND PAGE 40 SOMEONE CALLED US A BUNCH OF CACKLING HENS. tHAT WAS GOOD FOR ANOTHER 50 PAGES OF TOTAL NONSENSE-------YEAH.
PETERED OUT AFTER THE HUNDRED PAGE PARTY. PASS THIS ON TO WHOMEVER YOU WOULD THINK MIGHT ENJOY IT. AND GET YOUR SILVER HAT READY
sent this to people and threads did however get confused at times and may have had wrong names it------oh well it's them drugs LOL ------invite whomever you would like. I think I will make a knew hat.
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Okay the guy that wrote that article is a total doofus. I did everything right, I exercise, eat healthy, am at an ideal weight, don't smoke, rarely drink (boy, I sound really boring don't I!) and I still got both ovarian and breast cancer. Oh, and I was being followed for many years at a high risk familial cancer clinic and I STILL GOT IT!!!
Missanta, I think the whole strong thing is because most people can't imagine how they'd cope if they had to go through what we're going through. When they see us in public looking "normal", well groomed, etc they're amazed. What they don't realize is that we don't really have much choice. Like NIKE said "Just Do It".
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I'm just sorry I added to the count of number of times his article has been read. Submitted in 2006 without any scientific citations or stating what type of background qualifies this dud to give medical advice. Ah, but maybe he knows "THE CURE" by now, at least for being stupid. We should invite him to give a speech or something, NOT!
Bmac- you make a good point above about the whole strong thing. It's probably the truest explanation.0 -
I looked at his bio - his profession is e-magizine writer- some of his 'articles' and topics for articles - not sure how he is so smart about so many things.. it's truly amazing... truly MENSA ...
Coaching and How to do It, Dangerous Mold and How to Handle It, Aromatherpy - Does It Heal, You Too Can be a GPS Geek, Dealing with Menopause, Constipation in Babies, Power Supplies, Hardwood Floor, Dandelions and Your Health, Forex Trading - Is it For You?, and on and on and on.
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Ha! I'm sure an expert on Mold, Hardwood Floors and GPS is eminently qualified to write articles on cancer ! I didn't read the article...think I'll give that one a pass...0
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Not to mention "dealing with menopause". I think this jerk is one of those people who spend 5 minutes googling something and then writes an article about it. They shop them around to places like E-How and other self-help, DIY type web sites, and get something like a penny per hit. To make more money, they churn out hundreds of articles on every subject imaginable, and give them names that will likely trigger a hit on a google search for someone wanting info.
There's absolutely no credibility to any of it and a 10 year-old could do better research.
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V- that guy who wrote the article is an IDIOT
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Here's one for you--after I was diagnosed, I asked a religious woman I know who runs a prayer circle to add me to the list. At first she said something OK-- my cancer puts her problems in perspective. Then came the whopper: "well the mastectomy will give you 30 more years." Really? I'm 46-that's all I get?
The worst was from a close family member. When I was trying to decide between 7 weeks of radiation or BMX, she said, "why on EARTH would you even consider getting your boobs chopped off? You had skin cancer, too (melanoma, btw), why don't you just have all your skin removed while you're at it.
A good friend of mine says just to remember all those idiots and fools are really mentally ill. Somehow it makes it easier to handle if I think they are sick and not just dumb f&$ks.0
