The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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duct tape for things that move & aren't supposed to, wd40 for things that are supposed to move & don't - that's all we need to keep everything in line!
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wow...I generally think people are big hearted and accidentally say stupid things but tonight..reading about your MIL chillipadi...well...I stand corrected. The woman is an ass.
I was just in my hometown and my best friend, who has been living wih MS for about 5 years, said "these crisis really do tell you who you can count on and who you can't" and it's true....and not just count on to help when you don't ask....but to keep their mouths shut when they should be kept shut. Seriously!
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my step-mom had a saying:
if you don't have anything good or nice to say, then keep your mouth shut.
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"At least you can get nice new boobs!"
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"oh your tired today? i'm tired everyday and i don't even have cancer!"
drrrrrrrrrrrr.....
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Hdangelbaby- I've heard that one too.
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annoying isn't it? but again, if they don't "get" treatment fatigue isn't just being "tired" then there is no point trying to explain.....
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This wasn't something someone said - it was in a letter I received today from the imaging center where my US guided biopsy and MRI were done prior to my BMX - all same hospital. They informed me that I needed a mammogram on my left breast according to their records, because it had been a year since my MRI. I called them and nicely informed them that they had my left breast on slides in their lab. Seriously?
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Good one, SpecialK.0
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dutchgirl - Thanks! I am pretty feisty (my DH calls me a bulldog!) but what if someone was really upset emotionally by receiving that letter? I just couldn't let it slide by. They need to do a better job of follow-up before they randomly send letters out that could hurt people. They, of course, blamed the BS, but hello, they are all in the same office!
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SpecialK, I have gotten such letters from my insurance company and from the local breast imaging center. But worse was the call I got from my doctor's office, when they were auditing their records, letting me know I was over due for a mammogram and when wouldI be scheduling one. Of course, this took place after I was asked when I had my last mammogram three separate times during my first routine physical after my bilateral mastectomy. Twice by my doctor's nurse, including after she placed the leads for an ekg on my bare chest (we even discussed my scars) and once by my doctor. At least my doctor realized his error as soon as the words left his mouth - he was asking me his standard list of questions. Dumb! Dumb!
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SpecialK, I got the same letter a month after my DMX. Not being as brave as you, I just wadded it up and tossed it. You are one feisty bulldog! I think my boobs, after the pathology, ended up in a medical waste bin. When I worked in a US hospital operating theatre and there was going to be an amputation of any kind, the patient had to sign a waiver and consent for the body part to be cremated. Guess they don't consider our breasts as body parts.
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lisa-e - Doesn't it seem to you like too many people just go through the motions? I am amazed that the medical professionals you dealt with were not actually looking at YOU!
justagirl - I thought about throwing my letter away too, I think most of us would, but I kept thinking about that one person that would cry or be overcome so I decided to make them think twice. I almost got in the car and drove down there with my bald head and the letter in my hand! You are right - I am sure what was left of my breasts went to a biomedical waste bin somewhere too!
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SpecialK, I know they were't looking at my chest. I didn't get asked about a mammogram this year. Maybe they made a note in my file - "patient gets mad when asked about mammograms." This year they asked me about appointments with my oncologist.
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I just went in for my 3 mos. follow-up with the BS and mentioned on the way out that I needed to be removed from the automatic mammogram reminder list. This was the first person in that office that has ever been anything but nice, so I was taken aback when she cut me off to tell me that wasn't their mistake, I needed to go up to the 3rd floor and talk to the ladies in the mammogram dept.
Thankfully, the ladies up there were much nicer about it and even laughed when I told them I seriously thought about showing up for the appointment just to see what they said when they realized I have no breasts (no reconstruction, either).
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Sandee, I'm kinda loving whatever that is that you're wearing in your avatar!!! What is it???
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SpecialK: Unbelievable!...yet I'm not surprised...
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Last weekend I went to an art fair. I was purchasing a ring when one of the artist in the booth (not the one I bought the ring from) asked why I was wearing that thing on my arm (compression sleeve). I told her my arm can swell and it prevents it from doing this. She proceeded to ask why so I told her I had surgery to have lymph nodes removed. She said I'm sorry and proceeded to ask more questions. I was nice but wouldn't go into detail.
Even my husband couldn't believe she wouldn't leave it alone. I was nice but it was obvious I didn't want to go into detail. I know she wasn't being mean… just stupid. And to be honest I'm not embarred about the breast cancer thing but I know if I said this was the reason why she would be asking even more questions… and then of course start staring at my boobs.
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Barbe1958- thank you! it is my new favourite 'happy frock'...dress...long shirt with tights...I'mpretty short so I have been wearing it as a dress but not sure if it is meant to be or not:) incredibly colourful...reminded me of a skirt I made in high school where each layer was a different fabric. There is nothing this shirt/dress won't go with.
Lago- weird....and yet interesting that she did not pick up the clues hmm?
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"you are choosing BMX w/ reconstruction so you can have free plastic surgery..." or even better, I hadn't seen my PCP since March when she told me my mammo came back bad four months earlier but forgot to tell me, "So, Mrs. Eema, how have you been?" She also asked if I "like my new look". I have no nipples, looks like I have two eggs under each arm, and have lumpy implants that swish when I move because they are not filled enough. Yes, Doctor, I love my new look, thanks! These fake boobs are MUCH more realistic...
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My poor husband. He is trying to make me feel better but.... My first recon failed and now I have a nipple pointing toward Torledo in a puddle of skin on my right side. While discussion options now that TE/implant option is no longer viable, we talked about the surgeries required for the various flap options. He looked at me and asked if I considered not doing recon because he loves me no matter what (I know - nice - but wait), and because my breasts had completed the work they need to do - breastfeeding the kids.... LOL. Men!
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They ALL think like that V!! You are NOT alone.....hehehehehehehe (Thank goodness I HAD breastfed my kids!)
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Lago
I had virtually the identical discussion with the cashier at the grocery store. It completely annoyed me also.
Eema
I think the question "do you love your new look" must take the prize for the dumbest comment i've heard in a long time. What in the world is wrong with people
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Yeah, do I love my new look... I told her, "no, I liked my old saggy boobies, but I didn't like that they were cancer bags. I didn't do this so I could have plastic surgery, I did it to save my life!" I ended up making my PCP cry. Her office never called to tell me I had a bad mammo, nor did they call to tell me I had a bad biopsy and would need a lumpectomy. I told her she let me down and I was disappointed in her, and had it been a different type of cancer, 4 months (the time it took me to get the results of my mammo--they told me 'no news is good news' initially when I asked for the report) could have been fatal. I reminded her I have a 6 year old that I would like to grow up with a monther. She cried. I'm a college professor and have seen many, many types of crocodile tears in my 20+ years teaching, so I guess I wassn't so impressed by her tears.
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Good for you Eema!!!! I hope she learned a hard lesson from you and someone else won't suffer due to her office's lack of communication. How did she explain the issue? Blame her office?
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I know my attitude has moved into a better place now.
I've been a health care practitioner for over 35 years; and, having seen some of my people every year for all of those years, they are actually friends as much as they are patients.
On Friday, as soon as she sat down in the chair, one of these folks greeted me with "So, how much longer have you got?"
I just gaped at her and then realized that she hadn't heard of my cancer and was referring to retirement. I explained my reaction to her and she got as red as a beet as she realized how deeply her foot was in her mouth- then we both started laughing, long and loud. My staff thought we were having a party in there.
A month ago I would have burst into tears.
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Oh Kathy! That is SO funny it's sad!!! Gee, what we laugh about now is so much different, eh???
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This one wasn't stupid as much as it was plain mean. My son's ex is living with a new guy and they won't let me see my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter. I told the "new guy" that I have cancer and had to have a mastectomy and just really need to see the baby as she gives me a reason to go on. He told me "Congratulations! Did you get one of those pink ribbons"?
And if one more person says "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" I will kick them till they're dead! If God truly doesn't give you more than you can handle, explain suicide!
Even my own mother told me about her neighbor who died recently from breast cancer. Thank you I need to hear that. I'm still in a state of denial and that's where I want to be for awhile longer.
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Chiluvr1228 Im so sorry that was cruel! no excuse. hugs!
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The year following my Dx, I got a letter from the mammo center reminding me that I was due to my annual mammo.....it annoyed the heck out of me as I had a bilat...so I politely called them up...the women on the phone was so apologetic and told me that she would take my name off the list, but that the list was automated...never received another letter....
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