The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
-
Kerrberlady~My son Jesse was diagnosed ADD when he was 7. His teachers were amazed by his vast vocabulary and how intelligent he was. One on one he would do fabulous, but he didn't follow directions well, was very disorganized, easily distracted, handwriting was like that of a doctor. But in 5th grade, he tested gifted in all subjects.
He was terrible at completing or turning in homework, but advanced on every test.
When he was a 4th grader, he had a teacher who was the mother of a grown son with add. She was awesome at dealing with his shortcomings and highlighting his strengths.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Food for thought. Would you or anyone you know be offended by a commercial for the new vapor cigarette replacements that mentioned getting a lung biopsy for the smokers on your Christmas list? Yeah, it struck me way wrong when I heard it today. Complained to the radio station. Called the business and the guy didn't see how it could be offensive. "It's medically possible with smoking." So I asked if they'll include a colonoscopy in their next commercial. "That has nothing to do with smoking. " Uh, yes it does and is offensive isn't it? Still didn't get it. Where's the bus?!?
0 -
As a recovering smoker that still uses the e-cig I am extremely offended, and would hope that no one I care about would be stupid enough to do it. If I ever see that ad I'm sure I will never use that manufacturer's product.
0 -
,eb what an awful gift to give someone--OH let's see if u have cancer---not for Christmas OMG I would hae called too--I like the colonoscopy tho. LOL
0 -
mebmarj, are you SURE it`s not a snide way to point out that e-cigs do NOT cause cancer????
0 -
Probably snide, but I wasn't afraid to call them on it. On an all holiday station? I worked in marketing and we walked the line at times but some things just shouldn't be "used" as a gimmick to sell other things. We've talked about that before though haven't we? Ugh.
0 -
"Testing of electronic cigarettes, known as e-cigarettes, has shown that they contain cancer-causing chemicals and other toxins..."
Actually, from what I've been reading they don't really know what e-cigs might do long term, they just haven't been around long enough. They are full of all kinds of crap depending on the brand and not yet regulated so the dosing can vary greatly. Not sure if they are really all that much better than real smokes.
0 -
0
0 -
0 -
I had breakfast with my mom this morning. She was telling me about another friend of hers whose daughter was recently dx with mets to her spinal fluid. Just what I wanted to hear! Anyway, she proceeds to say, "Sometimes, I think it's worse for the mother than the daughter." She often says incredibly stupid things like that and I've learned it's easier to just blow them off. But that, I simply couldn't shrug off. Since it was remotely possible that I didn't hear her correctly, I asked, "You said it's worse for who?" She repeated that it's worse for the mother. I said, "You must be kidding - you're telling me it's worse for the mother than the person who is actually diagnosed with cancer herself?" I could almost hear her backpedaling. I shouldn't be surprised - she is an expert at turning every situation in such a way that she's the martyr. But that just takes the cake. (Please, tell me I wasn't being overly sensitive...)
0 -
I don't think that just take the cake---it takes the whole bakery!!!!!!!!
0 -
Kerrberlady - I didn't mean to say that a diagnosis of ADD had to mean they weren't intelligent, sorry if you misunderstood. It just bothered us when the school system tries to label a child as "ADD" and then the next thing they wanted us to do was to put him on Ritalin. We are so glad we (or I) researched all I could on drugs to treat ADD and their effects on children, which led us to stand up and tell them no way would we put a 6 year old on heavy drugs like that. He was not "ADHD" which is the hyperactive & even destructive behavior. Boys more than girls are diagnosed also as children, but I think many of those cases are just that boys are more immature and of course, they are more apt to not listen or stay on task. But we insisted they develop an IME (or a plan) to reward him for completing work, staying on tasks, and yes, it worked. He had some very caring teachers, some not so caring.
0 -
txstar, I think my Mom would have said the same thing! She would have made MY cancer all about HER. She has passed, as has my Dad and I actually felt GUILTY about getting cancer after my Dad had died of lung cancer!! I hated to "bother" my family....sigh.
0 -
No Shelly, I was just adding to your part about ADD and intelligence levels not really being linked. I got ya!!!
0 -
txstardust - is that like the old parental saw about "this hurts me more than it hurts you" as they take off the belt?
I can certainly understand why it hit you the wrong way, but could she really have meant I'd rather go through cancer myself than see you go through it? It's a similar, but much more PC thing to say.
My Mom, an incredibly kind woman, really has struggled with my cancer. She lost her sister to bc and my Dad to lung cancer, and in dark corners of her mind, I believe she is certain she will lose me to the beast as well. She says the right things most of the time, but once in a while I can see that in some ways this is harder on her than it is on me. Not all the time mind you, but once in a while. She makes no distinctions in her mind about the stage or grade of cancer, just cancer is cancer and its horrible and is about to take another person I love. All of my reassurances that cancer doesn't always win don't really sink in. I can talk all I want a bout how, for me cancer is a bloody nusiance. One that I'd just as soon not deal with of course. But something that I really do expect to put mostly behind me. And even as I say it I can see her disbelieving me and thinking about every woman with cancer on the movie of the week. "My daughter is doomed." her eyes say.
I knew how it would be. Actually kept the DX a secret from her for quite a while, which is tricky when you live in the same house. But once I started rads and started to get mail and messages from the Cancer Care Institute the jig was up.
Anyway yeah it was a dumb thing to say, but maybe from a certain point of view?
0 -
Txstardust, yeap, think my SIL is part of your family, she also turns everything into all about her. A family member once said that my brother, handles her by agreeing with her on everthing....brother has hodgkins and has been considering transplant surgery for years but don't get me started there! It seems to work for him but it sure makes it tough on anyone who dares to disagree with her!
0 -
"Sometimes, I think it's worse for the mother than the daughter."
Txstardust, Yes that is an insensitive thing to say, but Cindy1 thanks for your point. It's almost a replica of my mum. I think it depends on our overall relationship to our mum. Like Cindy's mum mine has been the kindest person I know. She would go cold and give YOU the shirt off of her back. She has had a lifetime of giving giving giving and putting evryone before herself. She has already lost one daughter to this monster..... with heaps of side issues and horrendous circumstances in all this, I think the "sometimes" bit would let her off the hook. If she had left it out then that would be totally different. Now she is heading to 90's and memory failing and long story short, is not the same person. She is changing and saying things that are just not like her. I prefer remember the many fine years this amazinglady has given and just forego the bloopers now.
0 -
I was just told by my stepmom that because I grieved very deeply for the lost of my foster mom who was my best friend, that is why cancer came back. I think it is a ignorant and insensitive remark. I know I did not cause it but it just makes me mad and sad.
0 -
krazycat===that was realy ignorant---Duck Tape belongs over her mouth.
I think whatever a mom says u know u'r own mother and how she means it. My sister and I know our mom would say very little and just have tears in her eyes all the time especially since we both have it.--She's worry so much. My mom has passed before all of this and she would have done anything to help us feel better, especially me--cuz she liked me best.
0 -
Cami youre in same boat as me, except my mums still alive and my dearly beloved sis has passed. No mum wants to outlive ONE daughter let alone two. Its been dreadfully hard on her.
0 -
been a bit since I posted..but wanted to share this one. On Friday my family gathered on the anniversary of my nephew's murder to remember him. My other nephew's wife was there who no matter how hard I try I just cannot make myself like her. The family wanted to know about my Diep procedure and subsequent flap failure on the left side. I was telling them that the last step would be to get tatoos at the end of it all for nipples/areola and she blurts out in a really sassy tone "well I would NEVER get my breast tatooed" I bit my tongue and stayed silent for about 10 seconds. My niece looked at her and told her that this was different than getting some butterfly on her butt and I finally just said to her that she just did not get it at all and hopefully she never would. It was all I could do not to jump over the table and B***H slap her. She is a terrible offender of opening her mouth about things that she know nothing about. ERRRRR still not sure about that girl.
Maggie
0 -
Musical rhen u know what I mean---I of course feel bad for u having this beast, but as a mom u'r poor mother having to live with this has to be horrible
Maggie she sounds so inorant it makes me ill. Why do people comment on something they know nothing about. Geeze good thing u don't have to see her alot--I hope.
0 -
My mother died of pancreatic cancer two and a half years ago, only 7 months after diagnosis. She was one of the lucky few who was caught early enough to try the Whipple procedure; however she died of complications following the surgery. Her death really shadowed me. I was finally shaking off the mourning when I got my BC diagnosis. From the day of knowing I had BC, I decided to stop grieving and just enjoy whatever is left of my life as much as I can. I know my mother "can handle" me having BC better now than she could have when she was alive. It would have been awful for her and it would have been awful for me, worrying about her worrying about me, which would have taken up a lot of energy. While I'd do anything to still have my mother in this world, the fact that she got her cancer before I got mine was good in a way, if you see what I mean. She often said this jokingly ironic tough-in-cheek thing to my sister to me: "If you die before I do, I'll never forgive you!" What she meant was that the pain of losing a child of hers would have been so excruciating she might have done the unpardonable thing: not pardoning us for dying. Well, I have totally forgiven her for dying and I'm sure she knows it! I am also sure she is proud of how I have handled BC. A lot of my decisions since her death are actions that I know would fit her value system which I have more fully embraced.
0 -
Fearless~I took care of my Beloved Aunt June in my home for over 3 years after a bad fall in her home in march 2009. I changed diapers, and did basically everything for her. All my life, through childhood, teens, and adulthood, she had always been the one Contant in my life. She was always there for me and her love for me was unconditional.
A.J. As I affectionately called her passed away 4 weeks before my diagnosis. I miss her, but I feel that GOD was merciful in taking her then (she was 86), because she would have grieved herself to death just knowing I was dealing with this Beast!
Blessings
Paula0 -
My Dad is, I'm sure, spinning, and I mean SPINNING in his grave over the fact that I go around flat. If lung cancer hadn't killed him, this surely would have!!!
0 -
Soteria: I sympathize. I am the youngest of 4 sibs and when my father started to fail health-wise and had to live in assisted living, then full nursing facility, I was the one to fetch and carry supplies, visit often, do financial paperwork, pay bills, you name it. I was always a daddy's girl and he held a special place in his heart for me until he passed away. I couldn't bear to tell him my DX ever -- I was afraid he would worry himself 'to death' -- and just plain give up. We lost our mom 21 years ago and she would have worried herself sick too, if she would have known I had BC. Now I just have to deal with a middle sister, who loves to tell me about her close friend with BC that has refused chemo and now cancer is in the lungs. I mean, what do I say? --perplexed
0 -
Hello to all - so sorry I disappeared from these boards since Thanksgiving. I have been having a lot of health issues - imagine that, LOL! My body is rejecting my chemo. Blood counts have been a mess - transfusions, hospitalizations, etc. I am done with it - no more chemo for me. I feel so much better off it.
Will catch up to all of you soon.
Hugs to all -
Sherry
0 -
Gentle healing Hugs Sherry! Much peace to You with your decision. You have been through so much lately. I hope what your feeling now is a better place to be & that it continues on for a long while! Julz
0 -
Dear Julz - thank you so much!
Sherry
0 -
Sherry, that SUX!!! I'm so sorry to hear you were suffering without having you in my prayers. You are there now....
0
![[Deleted User]](https://us.v-cdn.net/6037276/uploads/defaultavatar/nF0ALO3I3QJM7.jpg)