The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
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Anyone get this?
Person talking to you: "So, how are you feeling?"
Uhh, how am I supposed to feel? Maybe next time I should clutch my chest and stagger around and say, "Oh no, I think it's got me again!!!"
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I kind of did that in Walmart yesterday to the checkout clerk saying "How are you?" I said, not too great, my bones are killing me and actually my bowels are acting up too! The lady behind me got a good laugh and I think the clerk got it. Like really, does a check-out girl REALLY care how I feel??????
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2 weeks ago or so I was in the ER with chest pain ( no heart attack- I believe the cause was related to anxiety). The ER nurse saw that I had breast cancer and said that she had just had a sister in law die from breast cancer. Then she said that I was going to be admitted to the hospital. Her comments about her sister in law combined with my anxiety / chest pain was not helpful to me. I could not find any words other than "how sad" --- for everything about this ER experience, the nurse's poor choice of topic and of course her sister in law . Seriously? She should have known better.
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Cyborg - so sorry you had to go through this...a nurse should know better, but they really don't.
The girls at my bank have been wonderful, so supportive, they raise money for BC, the sent me
cards, they were always so caring and thoughtful to me...I stopped in yesterday - first time since
my hair has come back. I heard about 3 customers who died from cancer, an uncle who just died
from cancer, a couple people who had recurrences, and one just diagnosed. I was so depressed when
I got out of there!! People really just do not THINK what it does to the person fighting cancer!!!!
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Yeah. Why do they never talk about the grandma who was a 47 year survivor? Those people are out there too.
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Xo, Cindyl
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Cyborg--contact the hospital who's ER you were in and file a complaint. That nurse's comment was inappropriate and unprofessional. Not to mention unhelpful. Hospital staff, especially ER staff, should not be talking about their own issues, they are there to work with patients and their focus should be on that. I'm still pushing a complaint about an ER doc that referred to me as a "Damned cancer patient overreacting to a little cough" when I was in the ED with an acute asthma attack a year ago.
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Her, NativeMainer
That is really terrible.
Made the complaint about that and other bizarre incident that was weird.0 -
Good for you!
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http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407,0,2074046.story
I absolutely love this...
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Priceless! Thank you for sharing.
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What a great article. Thank you!
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Wonderful article! Thanks!
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I HATE when my brother would say to me "What..you think the universe revolves around you?" I'd sit there stunned thinking...um...yeah. It does. Where IS it supposed to revolve around? Isn't it HEALTHY to have the world revolve around you? Even the flight attendants tell us to put our own masks on first so that we CAN help others. That's always been my theory. I can't take care of someone else unless I've taken care of myself first. No?
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barbe--yes, the world DOES need to revolved around us, and regularly. You are exactly right!
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My daughters friend was just here visiting from out of town with her 5 month old son, and decides to breast feed him across the table from me. I'm sitting here with a chest full of staples and stitches with no breast and she chooses to show me hers. Guess I'm a bit more sensitive than I knew, since I had to go outside to weep.
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You're entitled to weep and mourn and rage and feel very hurt and very angry and how could she be so insensitive since she must know you are post-surgery. Shame, shame, shame on her and on your daughter for their complete insensitivity. Good thing it wasn't me, I would have screamed out loud, but then, I'm "dramatic" according to my son. You better believe I am.
You're a beautiful woman, with or without breasts, and ask her to not do that in front of you as if hurts you so much emotionally that you have to leave the room to cry. If that is hard to do, mention it to your daughter, who MUST understand.
Best wishes.
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gramwe, I take it from the context it was in your home? what a cheek! anyway, your sensitivity is wholly justified and what your daughter's friend did was totally caulous. Personally I think it is uncalled for in any circumstances how much more in our situation with scars and surgery and whatnot.
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gramwe, you have every right to feel the way that you did, you are still recovering from your surgery and in mourning for what you have lost. I'm sorry that a guest in your home made you feel that way. But, (and I am playing devil's advocate here), that young mom was doing what was a perfectly natural act, feeding her child. I doubt that she meant to hurt you or offend you in any way. Insensitive, probably. Offensive, not. Sallyann is right, you should mention it to your daughter, and hopefully that woman will learn something.
Take care.
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Well said dutchgirl6 !
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I had my (first) surgery a few days after Hurricane Sandy, and due to power outages still all over the stage, the surgery had to be relocated to the main hospital, which had generators. Everyone was asking, "do you have power back in your home?" The nurse who was prepping me for surgery said to another staff person, "We haven't had showers in a week!" Oh, good, thanks for sharing!!
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It was my first night out to eat after having started chemo. I had dressed up, put on my makeup and was wearing a headscarf. I was feeling pretty good. My sister-in-law walked into the restaurant and the first words out of her mouth to me were, "oh my god, you look like a gypsy." It really made me feel wonderful!
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I love the gypsy look!
Paula0 -
gramwe, it shows how "ignorant" and naive the young are. I bet she didn't even think!!
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Just keep in mind that most of the people with dumb comments are well-meaning, and really just forgot to think. I have a close friend. Twenty years ago, when I had Hodgkins, and I told her I was trying to spend extra meaningful time with my young children, she said, "so they'll remember you well". !!!!!!!! But she is really a wonderful, if flaky person, and I decided I would have to forgive her if I wanted to keep our friendship. (But I haven't forgotten)
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Agreed ablydec, yes its a wise person who looks at the big picture. OTOH some comments are just plain out and out dumb all on their own...and can look all the more so from those who arent friends. In such cases an apt answer is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
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ablydec - I had Hodgkin's too. Did you have mantle radiation by any chance?
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No, I had chemo only. ABVD. Which is ironic because at the time I was told chemo and radiation had about similar success in my case (Stage IIA). I chose chemo, for several reasons, and years later felt so grateful because later research showed that chest radiation caused an increase in risk of secondary tumors (i.e. BC) years down the road. And then, go figure, I got it anyway. (I actually am still grateful, because I've been very healthy in the interim, and I think the Hodgkins experience made me less panicky about this new challenge.). Whoa, I just saw that you had Stage IVB Hodgkins. You are a serious survivor! I'm impressed.
Interestingly, I'm on the "Starting Chemo in Jan. '13" subgroup, and at least three of us on there had Hodgkins 15-20 years ago. I thought it was supposed to be rare - doesn't look like it!
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Cyborg - I would have asked for this nurse's director/boss and complained about her insensitivity. Very unprofessional and you would think they would want to keep a good reputation.
Barbe - I LOVE IT !
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I had to get a mammo and US for new lumps, only 3 months after the last one. The technician said "that's a bit close together, we don't want to give you cancer".
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