The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
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Good thing this is a BC site so all know that "X" is Xeloda and not Ecstasy!!
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Reality--I'm sorry the mistletoe treatment didn't work out. I'm praying the X works for you!
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Kaza - wtf did your brother's girlfriend even mean by "not carrying it around w/you?" How did you ever 'not' slap her ?
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Reality, if I'm not mistaken, mistletoe is PART of some chemo already!! So you were probably already getting it anyway..... Now get your big girl panties on and focus on killing those lung bastards!!! You can do this girlfriend!!!!
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sherry56.....I dont know how i didnt slap her...one more comment from her...she had better get her hard hat on..cos i am a coming with my slapping stick x
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Thanks, Barbe - just what I needed! A post from you. You always make me smile. Thanks again! I will get those panties on right now.
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Thanks for your kind thoughts, NativeMainer!
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I will be starting my chemo this week and I guess the dumbest thing so far was when my sister started in on the alkaline diet and how I eat too many acidic foods and that I should try to heal myself with natural remedies. Then she told me that I must hate myself to subject myself to chemo. That was a real punch in the gut, I have small children and really can't afford to mess around with this.
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Hey everyone - this is not a worst thing - but a fun thing my friend did to help me deal with the thoughtless or stupid comments.
She bought me earrings. One read "in one ear" and one read "out the other" ....0 -
Ditnhm love those earrings!
My DILs mom told me, "it's time to get over this cancer thing, you've had 6 weeks that's long enough" She of course has never had BC, but she did take 9 weeks off work to have bunion surgery!0 -
Oh my goodness gramwe.
Who knew she was such an expert with all her bunion experience?
Coincidentally, I have just become aware that I have a bunion and was just discussing it with my PCP. (i was concerned about it interfering with mybrunning.)
The level of concern in contrast to my breast cancer? Not even on the same scale.0 -
Hope your bunion does not interfere with your running. I know what you mean about the condition not comparing to cancer. I often ignore medical conditions other than cancer, before going to the Dr. I know I often should not, but the thought of one more form to complete, or test, or exam, or co-pay is just too much at times! For example, my onc told me to watch for changes in moles I have had for as long as I can remember. I do see changes and know that I have to tell him, but I dread going to a dermatologist as I do not want to start all over in a new office. My onc knows that he has become my go-to GP as I only want to be with him. We really connect - even to the point of not having to complete sentences at times as we know what each other is going to say. I feel very fortunate to have him on my team.
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Reality--your PCP can remove most moles. I've had several removed in my PCP's office. The only ones I saw a specialist for were on my face and I wanted minimal scaring there. But I hear what you are saying about starting over with a new doc and doc's office. Pain in the anatomy!
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Thanks so much for sharing, NativeMaine. I will check it out. Thanks, also, for understanding! Its a beautiful day in the Adirondacks. 'On my 2nd day of Xeloda and doing well so far. There is half day of school today, so my three grandchildren will be joining me at noon. There is a beautiful lake, just across the road from my cottage. That's where we will spend a lot of our day - picnic and skipping stones at the lake. I hope you also have a very nice day.
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Ah, Sherry, that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon!!! Except I always have to lie down to spare my back, so I read and doze. Yesterday my doze lasted until 6 pm!!!!!
I know what you mean about your cracked anatomy!!! hehehehehe
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Yes, barbe, it was. I added an avitar of the beautiful lake and mountain I visit daily. I live in a tiny cottage just across the main two-way road that leads into my village. The road is quite busy, but the landscape on either side of it has been preserved, so it is not too obtrusive. I also find that I have to lie down wherever I go, so I always take a blanket. When the urge hits me - no chair is comfortable and I have to give in. (Well, not at the grocery store or pharmacy, but I have put down items and left the store when I just could not bear to stand in line). It's odd - no specific pain takes over - I become suddenly exhausted - just out of nowhere. I used to fight it - and still have to, of course, depending on where I am - but whenever possible - I give in and lie down, darn it!
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Kaza - parents used to tell their kids, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" -- still applies doesn't it?
((()))) shelly
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Hey, all: I watch this thread and lately haven't had anything to post. But today's comment takes the cake. Was talking to a woman who is in a breast cancer organization, someone who has had breast cancer herself. I was asking about a retreat they hold for metastatic women. I was diagnosed out the door metastatic January 2012 and am open about my diagnosis in certain areas of my life. Mostly, I don't want to talk about because of the stupid things people tell me. This is the comment I got from this woman today.
"I knew a woman who had Stage IV breast cancer, you couldn't tell, she looked just fine. She died last week."
Now in what universe did this woman think this would be helpful to me? I gave her my standard people were telling Donna Summers she looked good the week before she died of cancer. Goddamn, I'm just so pissed. Only reason I shared my diagnosis with that woman was because it applied to a retreat I might want to attend, and she says this? I need to work up the courage to slap some people.
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Hey, gritgirl ... now what I just read has my eyes rolling backwards and forwards ... Sheesh! I can just imagine how you are feeling! People as insensitive as that will never get it ... But, what do you think about getting in contact with the organization who is holding the retreat for metastatic women and without naming names tell them what happened and what you wrote here? Maybe they will think about having some awareness workshops for their employees-volunteers ... It sure is hard to believe that durrrrrrrrrrrrrr woman had BC herself ...
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SoLinda, I appreciate your writing back. That's a good idea. Btw, I've also had dumb things said to me by people who are also Stage IV. I was a talk about Stage IV, and the woman next to me started chatting with me. I asked her where hers had spread. She said bone. She asked me where mine had spread. I said liver. The other Stage IV woman shook her head and said, "Oh, I am so sorry."
Luckily my oncologist was doing the talk and was there when the other woman said that to me. My doctor and I had to educate her that even those with liver mets can live for years and years.
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Gritgirl, I am gobsmacked! Glad the onc. was there with you so Clueless got it from both of you! I'm trying to stop explaining about anything regarding cancer. I have seen peoples' eyes glaze over too many times now ... Are you still thinking about going on that retreat? You write so eloquently - I am sure your comments would be a very welcome addition to their itinerary. All the best to you!
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SoLinda:
At this point, no. Not going on the retreat. I've got very little leave yet (I'm still working and pray I can continue working). One of the topics she said they discuss at the retreat is end of life. I've got my paperwork in order, but I don't want to be anywhere near that topic at this point. Some day I won't have a choice, but for right now, I want to live and focus on that.
Thank you so much for the compliment on my writing. I'm hoping, praying and knocking on wood that I get to be here writing for years. My comment is that my goal is to outlive all the idiots who have made stupid comments to me. One of them is my half sister who told me, "I thought people who were terminally ill were nicer." I told her never, ever to say that to anyone again. That sister is 17 years my junior. I plan on being here long enough to dance on her grave.
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I was with my wife at a radiation oncology consult and the resident that we were stuck with for an hour before we got to see the RO we had the appointment with told my wife (after learning she had a BMX 6 months earlier): "You probably could have gotten away with a lumpectomy".
Stupid, stupid woman.
The only reason my wife wasn't bawling was because we KNOW that after trying for a lumpectomy, we HAD to do MX.
But this came from a woman. How does a comment like that----even if it was CORRECT----help the patient?
How STUPID.0 -
Colt, that is horrible. And sadly, the medical profession is filled with people. Infallible, often stupid people. I am very lucky in that the nurses in my chemo unit have got the compassion thing down. I've heard about what others have had to hear from staff during treatment, and that has only got to make it much worse. I had enough doctors say stupid things. But to have nurses whom I saw weekly add to it, no. Don't even want to think of it.
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Man - some of these people need to be 'Gibb smacked' upside the head (although for some - that would be too kind - as it's an affectionate slap from Gibbs to Dinozzo).
Grit - That woman from that breast cancer org needs to be taken to task - and maybe 'what were you thinking' slapped ... Get a filter woman and a clue. Ugh. If I'd been there with you I'd have given her a piece of my mind, since she is so clearly lacking in at least one area. (Total aside - missing our commander in chief over on our February thread
)Reality - thanks for your kind words regarding my bunion (lol). Thankful for you that you have such a great relationship with your GP. It's so helpful to have that healthy connection with our medical team!! Have to watch for those moles (Dad had melanoma and I had years of unprotected, skin-frying while tan-seeking. Lifeguarding too and lots of outdoor exposure in youth.)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=558pNg40hKwHope that link works! Just a little head slapping fun
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Diana. I loooove NCIS. Perfect.
How are you doing? First time I've seen your diagnosis. Did you add that recently. I didn't realize you'd been diagnosed 3a. Did you know there's a breast cancer vaccine trial? Not open to 4 but open to 3. Wish I could join but wanted to let you know0 -
Susan,
Doing pretty well. 3 mos check-up with MO tomorrow. Labs were drawn this past Wednesday. Tried to access them via the patient portal but she never releases them before my appointment.
I don't recall when I added that to my profile. I think it's been a long, long while but we were all so busy with stuff, ya know? I read about the trial but from my reading I missed the cut-off after active treatment. My last rads were 9/13/12 and I'm fairly certain you have to be within 6 months of finishing active treatment - which was March for me. Saw the info on the trial right around that cut-off day. Oh well.
Keep taking my Tamoxifen and I'm fine on it. I wish you could have joined that too.
Other stuff detailed on our thread - the last few weeks.
Glad you enjoyed the head slappin'. NCIS is a favorite for me and love all the references to places we used to stomp around when we lived in No. VA. You must eat it up!
Hugs!!!!0 -
One of them is my half sister who told me, "I thought people who were terminally ill were nicer."
gritgirl...OH MY OH MY ... HUH? what a slap in the face. That was totally uncalled for.
Maybe something like this:
"I thought people who were terminally ill were nicer."
Generally they are but in your case, no.
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Diana. Prayers are with you for your doc appt.
Musical. My half sister is a vile mouthed young lady. At this point I just don't deal with her. Life is too short, even without a stage iv diagnosis. Ya know?0
