The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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We are moving, my DH has 3 brain tumours and we have to down/grade-size. Call it whatever. Anyway, I have to do the mortgage on just my income of course. They wanted a guarantor (not a co-sign, it's a little bit different). I have life insurance. Anyway my brother said yes, of course. Then a week later when all the paperwork was drawn up and he'd had time to think he said there was too much risk. Risk? I asked. What risk? There was this long silence and he said, "well if something happened to you." I said something already had and we dealt with it just fine!! Nope, too much risk.
Amazing! I had no idea he even remembered I had cancer!!! Where were the flowers, the cards???? My DH thinks my lawery brother out West probably put him off signing.
F'ing family. So I did a small second. He's not invited to the house warming!
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Barbe--so sorry to hear about your DH. Family can be such fun---NOT!
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My DH questioned my timing when I told him I was going to take the CPA exams. At first I thought he was thinking, "too much risk". I told him I needed to act as though I have a future because, well I do have a future, and I need to keep thinking about that to get through the ugly bits. It's like driving... if you are looking right in front of your car you are probably going to have an accident but if you focus at the road ahead of you then you will travel that road. Turns out he was just thinking that the exams would be stressful and thought I didn't need the additional stress. Clients I haven't seen in the past year (because they have no work for me) keep calling and emailing just to make sure I'm still here. They say they are wondering if I am still available for consulting, but why would they wonder this if they don't need my services?
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Barbe- That just bites! OMG some people are straight cruel. Best of luck to you. May you thrive in spite of such self centered family!
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I just remembered something else! Years ago a good customer of mine confided in me that she had had breast cancer. I did the normal, oh my goodness, etc. and how're you doing. She mentioned that she was on a drug (which I now know is) Tamoxifen. I asked what the drug was for and she said it was to keep her from getting breast cancer (again). I asked her why we ALL couldn't take it then!
Now, of course I understand the concept, but at the time I thought it odd that they would give a drug like that to someone who already had breast cancer, why not give it to those of us who hadn't yet? Oh hindsight is always 20/20.....sigh.
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From opposite sides of the world Barbe, it seems we all think alike!
Years ago when DD had brain cancer, figuring that alcohol kills brain cells, we asked onc why couldn't we just get her drunk and keep her that way for a while, until all the bad cells were dead. Most of the chemical solutions wouldn't work because of the blood/brain barrier but, as far as we were concerned, alcohol crossed the barrier without any problems at all. He didn't think it was a good idea! He was probably worried that he would be hung out to dry if it ever came out that he recommended keeping a 10 yr old child drunk.
Sheila.
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Sheesh, made sense to me as I read it Sheila!
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barbe - sorry to hear about your DH and that you are being forced to move - just what you don't need - extra stress. Hope the exchange of houses happens quickly for you.
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Until I found this thread I thought I was the only one who felt that we are never cured, we're just in remission. If we're luck it can be an extended remission.
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Laurie, I like that anaology....extended remission.......may it be true for everyone!
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Barbe ... I knew about your husband from another thread - how is he doing?
Same thing happened to me ... one of my sisters said if I left my job in Pittsburgh and moved back to Maryland she would "support" me and co-sign for a place to live. She rpeated that right up until I actually came back! She thought it might be too "risky" and besides she didn't like the idea that I wanted to move to West Virginia so she wouldn't co-sign. That meant I had to really scramble to find a rental at the last minute, find a place for my 7 cats and pay an extra $3,000 to store my furniture (additonal expenbes which I didn't need since I didn't have a job). This is a woman who lives in a mansion and drives a Mercedes sports car; along with her brand new Accura SUV.
Oh well!
One of the most valuable lessons I learned from having breast cancer is who you can count on and who you can't.
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Kathleen, it's sounds so similar to me!!! I just had a phone interview with the mortgage company pending approval. We move on Thursday. Talk about cutting it close to the wire eh???????
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Barbe - best of luck for your move on Thursday. Another stressful event just when neither of you need it - life just implodes sometimes doesn't it?!
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We've had our house on the market since the beginning of June, so tons of showings and making the bed and clean, clean clean!!! Then the packing and two grand children in the middle of it all. Oh, and I got transferred at work to another city and finally got an appointment for a back surgeon in October and, and, packing and sorting and selling and still doing the everyday crap we all do!!! Don't know how much longer I'm going to last!!!!
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Barbe - geez - definite implosion! You are a legend! (a complimentary saying over here that means someone who manages to do something over and above what normal mortals can handle).
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Oh well then, if I'm a legend I guess I can hang on 5 more days....sigh. We move on Thursday!
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This one really got me. Marching in Race for the Cure this morning. DH of a dear friend of mine says to me, "So you're cured now, right?" After I counted to 100 I said, CALMLY and LOUDLY (so any other morons who were in earshot would hear) , "There is no cure for breast cancer. I am in remission until such time as breast cancer decides to come back. I am blessed to be cancer-free AT THIS MOMENT."
I HATE the Pinktober! Instead of 'awareness" how about education? 80% of folks think BC is curable!
Barbe - good luck on the move. I just cringe thinking about it. You are a legend.
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I also have one from the Tamp Bay area Race for the cure today. We were walking over to start the race when some little "volunteer" came by (mind you I'm in a very visible Survivor t-shirt) and hands me this key ring thing and very quickly said, "be sure to get your mammogram." Much to the embarassment of my adult sons, I stopped this volunteer, handed it back and said, "let me give you a quick education. I have no mammies to gram--think about who you give these to." Otherwise, the walk with my family was quite meaningful to all of us today.
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Yeah, I heard bc was 99% curable. I still hear that from time to time. We Americans like to wrap things up and move on. We get bored if something takes up too much of our focus or resources.
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OMG mbtic!! I would have grabbed her by the throat. I have no patience these days. I barely managed to stop myself from grabbing the friend's DH. Good thing I am seeing a shrink. I might end up locked up.
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Barbara, LOL, I have little patience for idiots. Last night in the St. Pete area, they had a "pep rally" before the walk today. We were riding the trolley back from the Pier to our hotel. A bunch of very young cutie young women got on in their pink garb--already pretty drunk. They asked me to take their picture. I told them I would only if they read my t-shirt first. It said, they're fake, the last pair I had almost killed me. These girls looked horrified first until I laughed, and then they just died laughing. I told them to get their mammograms and check those young ta tas regularly.
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By the way, we did NOT go to the pep rally. Really? a pep rally for BC???
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I think I would have put that key chain where they'd remember it every morning....but hey...that's just me!
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Barbe, she ddin't have chemobrain so she'll remember where her keys are. Now, I can think of LOTS of things to do with her keychain but my mama raised me to be lady so I'm not saying.
Leah
P.S. Good luck on your move this week. Just think, another key to remember....
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Yeah, Frickin PEP RALLY? WTF? Maybe I'm missing something but that is really stupid. I've been to the Rays Pep rallies at Ferg's but breast cancer?
I need a moment.
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My SIL just recently sent me a card. I had a left mastectomy 2 months ago and haven't had one call,e-mail or anything from her. She wrote me a "funny" note.In it she refers to herself as a "boob' and a "tit". She says if she was here she would wrap me in her 'bosom". She goes on to say she is thinking of my "hooter". She signs off with "TaTa" . Usually I have a good sense of humour but REALLY? So offended right now and don't care if we ever speak again.
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My comment about the key chain was for the young thing that told one of us to get a mammo. I figure if it was "up her butt" or "where the sun don't shine" she'd think of how dumb her comment was every morning when she performed her constitution.
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Yeah, Barbe, that's where I thought of also but, what can I tell you, I'm too shy to write it.
I'll be walking in a SGK Run For the Cure,. the first one here in Israel (walking since I Don't Do running) but I sure hope I don't run into some of the lovelies you have met. Pep rally? Rah rah bc?
Leah
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Barbara, yeah the BC pep rally was at Fergs. I went back to my hotel room and watched the Rays lose, again. And Leah, I haven't walked three miles probably since before BC and definitely not a runner. We did it easily. I ran into friends from work and that was cool.
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Having absolutely no patience for stupid comments like that is why I stay far, far away from walks, runs, "celebrations" or anything else related to bc, and not just in October. It's just harder in October.
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