The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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jpb- I've been ticked off because I haven't heard from any of my in-laws since my MX in March. I think I'd rather be ignored than receive a card like you got from your SIL. Excuse my language, but what an insensitive twat. If they lined up in front of a firing squad, all the clueless and moronic people we encounter through all this, the world would run out of bullets. (Hey! There's an idea.....)
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"join the fight" ... has there been one day since your dx that you haven't been fighting something?
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Yes, Gail, and I did NOT want to join the fight. I had no other options.
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I was just talking with someone who just found a lump in her breast about my struggle. Her comment was, "The easiest cancer to cure is breast cancer." I told people that too when I was first dx-ed. Now when I hear it come form someone else I wonder if I sounded as bad.
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Since it is Sunday and DH has had football on TV all day and night all I hear is "pink" and BC awareness. I think we are all aware....we just want to try to forget sometimes! I hate to sound complaining about this but I am to the point I HATE PINK!!!!!!
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Since Oct 1, when I walk into a grocery store, I want to yell, "Think before you Pink!" and 'How much of your purchase are they contributing to bc research?' I see people picking up pink products and putting them into their grocery cart.
We need more than awareness. We also need accurate information.
I wonder if the shoppers know this:
In a recent <2008>Breastcancer.org survey of 2,500 girls ages 8-18, nearly 30% believed they might currently have breast cancer... Bottom line: our girls lack information that can empower them to establish breast-healthy behaviors to reduce the risk of ever getting breast cancer.http://www.breastcancer.org/about_us/press_room/prevention.jsp
Do they think we are not aware of breast cancer? Do they think the general population does not notice all the pink?
I know before I had my 'suspicious mammogram', I thought that the only women who got breast cancer were women who ignored their lumps. I laughed through my first biopsy attempt because I thought it was ridiculous they suspected I could possibly have breast cancer. See what I knew, and I am a pharmacist.
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Just wondering why Yoplait makes us lick off our lids and mail them in? Couldn't they just give the donation because we bought the product? I love the product and appreciate the donation but I'm just sayin...
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They are having a Women's Boxing Card sponsored by the Santa Ana Casino here in Rio Rancho NM . It's titled Fight For the Cure. AT least they got that right.
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AStorm - I was asking my husband the same thinglast night. Can't they just make a donation instead of having people send in the lids. All I can think about is all the germs on the lids from people licking them and someone having to sort through them.
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Wow:
My sister had an interesting response from her Doc. After breast surgery and prior to chemo she asked if she could improve her diet or eat anything that might help with chemo symptoms. The Doc replied, " Oh no honey, you go home and have some pizza and a big piece of chocolate cake." Ugghhhh.
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But Sunny, he's kinda saying...horses, barn doors....just enjoy life! As someone's tag line on here says "Think of the women on the Titanic that didn't have desert! He also just saying eat what your stomach can handle or what you even have an appetite for. I think that was a compassionate response, actually.
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I ate a lot (ALOT) of ice cream during chemo. It soothed my mouth and stomach, and for me, large doses of dairy keep the bowels moving. I think during chemo- its so toxic that what you eat doesn't really matter much- just that you do find something you can eat.
I don't get the yoplait lid send in thing either- I think they are bargaining on people saying yeah, I'll do that and buy a bunch of yogurt and then faced with the trouble of collecting the lids and taking the trouble and money to send them in- find its too much trouble, but Yoplait got the sales. Kinda like offering rebates on things- companies are banking that a high percentage of people will buy the product and then not send in the paperwork needed for the rebate. So yoplait gets credit for being all BC supportive without actually donating that much. Why don't they just donate a % of pink lid sales without us having to save and mail in the lids?
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I know people just think they are trying to help but:
Don't send me a link to an article on treating stage IV breast cancer stating "I certainly do not want you need the treatment discussed in this article". Talk about about a negative.
Yes I told him to stop sending me articles! Gotta love Pinktober. Lots of stuff in the media. Guess this guy thinks I don't read too.
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I just saw my friend and family doctor tonight. He has been on my case for years to stop smoking and the first thing he said when he walked in the room was are you still smoking I laughed and said yeah and he said, might as well. I thought that was so funny. (But I'm weird)
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DH said during tonight's football game (with PINK) that the NFL could have just made a huge donation with all the expense they went to purchasing pink stuff for all the players and staff to wear......how true.................
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Totally agree with you Barbe! My onc said sure, let's include cake as part of your treatment plan -- comfort food when you really, really need it. It's all about quality of life and mine needs cake and ice cream!
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I've decided that all the pink flash hurts my feelings. I don't like my personal trauma adjustment to be turned into a pep rally. there is a disconnect there somewhere. And pink appliances, pink grocery stuff? I think it dilutes the message to those without BC. To many, all this pink creates an assumption that BC is nearly a thing of the past, what with all the whoopla. Of course, it's not. When I see pink, I feel wounded, not peppy.
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We had a brand of bottled water which put pink caps on the bottle and then advertised that they would give 5-10c for each pink capped bottle bought, to BC causes.
In small print, the buyer was told that they had to go to the website of that Co, to register a number inside the cap. Only the registered cap numbers would generate the donation by the Co to BC...........what a rip-off. I told every one I knew about it and hoped that they would not buy that brand unless they wanted to follow-up.
Sheila.
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I live at a retirement community. We are assigned to a table in the dining room. The people at my dinner table I thought were my friends. But ever since my surgery they offered no support. Well after my surgery I wasn't going to the dining room and was ordering in to my apartment. I received a phone call from one of my so called friends from the dinner table telling me in a condescending voice, "Mike says not to talk about your surgery or drains at the dinner table. It is inappropriate dinner conversation". yada yada yada!!!! I hadn't been there in days and all of the sudden I am being told this? And if I ever mentioned my surgery or drains it was not some graphical description of it. Usually it would be in response to someone asking me a question. But never graphical in nature.
Not only did this "friend" say this to me but she told a friend of mine how I talk about my surgery and drains at the dinner table. Who else is she talking bad to about me? I think she is just jealous at the attention I get because of cancer. It is cancer!! How sick it that.
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What gets me about the "pink" donations is how paltry they are compared to the need. Somebody sent me a thing on Facebook today where you can click a link to Telus and turn your profile picture pink and they'll make a donation. It says they'll donate $200,000. For a large corporation, that is pocket change, and based on my medical bills, it won't pay for even one patient's surgeries and chemo/rads. The company gets the benefit of good PR for very little outlay. Take the money spent on crap (like the NFL pink gloves) and send it to communities where the women can't afford mammograms or doctor visits....my rant for the day.
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Maybe there is a Senator out there who will write a bill requiring companies to pony up when they advertise that they support a cause.
Winter - there are some insecure people out there who need to be the center of attention and are jealous of anyone who steals their spotlight. I used to be in sales and I was around a lot of those people. One woman asked me not to talk about my baby. She was the mother of a teenager and probably jealous, as I would be now that my baby turned into a teenager. Then when her daughter got into a good college, all of a sudden it was cool to talk about your kid. When someone says something like that I always wonder what I said first (maybe I was a little too enthusiastic about my kid's adorable pink toes?) but 9 times out of 10 it is just their insecurity. Not in sales anymore so I have no contact with this woman (who is probably a doting grandmother now) but if I did, I would ask her what she would prefer to talk about... or maybe I'd just promise to talk only about her life as long as I could stand it.
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Gail, I worked with someone like that. I could never bring up the conversation, she had to. She was horrible to work with! Vile and nasty and would set me up and lie about me to other sales people to get them angry at me. She died a year ago from lung cancer. I actually felt bad that I didn't feel bad.....weird.
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I start my first round of chemo next week. A group of us GFs went to dinner on the weekend. One of them walked in with her hair cut in a gorgeous bob...everyone commented how lovely it looked. " I hate it" she said. " when it was done I just sobbed and sobbed". "Well at least you have hair!" I said in a funny, warm kind of way but she just didn't stop...on and on and on about her hair and how much she hated it. How she rang her mother and her mother pretended to like it etc etc...I have never felt so flat and defeated...I couldn't believe someone could be so self centred like that. You are all right. This disease does bring out the ugly in people!
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I'm sorry but I really don't give a dam* where the money comes from for this killer and I don't care if some company benifits along with the research Dr.s as long as it leads to a cure
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I have a good one....
This woman I work with tells me that my face looks puffy (I had mentioned that I have to take steroids before chemo). My DH told me "how dare the Pillsbury Dough Boy say that to you!" LOL!!! The best news I got today is that she is no longer aligned to me (come December), so I don't have to put up with her stupid remarks! Yeah!!!
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Astorm - I was talking to my DH about the Yoplait lid thing too. He thinks they give a donation because they can recycle those lids (and make money from them). I think they should just donate the money (and all the other corporations should, as well). I like that BC has got a lot of attention. I wouldn't have known about gene testing and stuff, if it wasn't for the story about Christina Applegate. HOWEVER, I don't agree with everyone putting pink on their packaging in October to generate sales or be politically correct. FIND A CURE - DA**IT!!!
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Agreed. I have been recieving a huge amount of facebook emails suggesting I change my status update to where i like to leave my handbag ie. " I like it on the sofa". I have just been ignoring them as I know they mean well but I just, somehow, I can't explain it, find it offensive. THEN, another friend, who isn't even aware of my dx writes " I like it on the credit card"...she followed it up with, if we are going to raise awareness let's do something more than change our facebook status. Put a donation on your credit card and really make a difference. Yay!!!!!!! Occasionally someone says the RIGHT thing!
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Our local grocery has the pink lided Yoplait on sale.
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I must admit the thing that made me feel totally creeped out was at the Komen race a few weeks ago. I was 3 weeks out from my BMX. First time I went to a Komen race as a survivor.
Anyway right next to the survivor tent they had this plot of land marked off. The had these big giaint ribbon boards that they put names of those who passed on them… then stuck them into the ground. Yes it looked like a giant grave yard.
Some body really needs to rethink the way they display the names of those that passed. Locating the "graveyard" it right next to the survivor tent made me feel like this was my next step.
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Iago, the whole race for the cure thing just creeps me out...from the festive atmosphere to the 'survivor' thing...it all just gets to me. I don't understand a lot of what has happened with BC - why are we 'survivors' and my friend who had lung cancer 'had lung cancer'?
And honestly, I think we need to focus more on the women who have lost their lives because of BC. My aunt and my cousin both died of it and it seems that while corporations rake more and more money in, we are no closer to a cure. We have become a pink branded industry, no different from Nike or Starbucks. It's sickening.I'm so sorry for the rant - I don't mean to offend anyone here, just very tired of feeling used and very tired of people dying of this disease.
If anyone is interested, there's a very good book called "Pink Ribbon Blues" that addresses the whole 'pink' deal, and Breast Cancer Action has an excellent "Think Before You Pink" site.
Sorry to be Debbie Downer!!!
Suzanne0
