thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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I enjoy this thread so much and I am active on an exercise one as well!!!!!! Both threads are very supportive and encouraging. May you all have a very Blessed weekend.
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Hi Ladies,
I too refrain from visiting most other threads. This one has been very encouraging, uplifting and non-judgmental. I think we can all use some of that. I feel free to share my heart here, even when I am hurting and just need someone to love me anyway and remind me that I am safe in the Master's hands.0 -
Beautifully said, Rocket!!!! And I so agree with you JO-5 and Kaara. Let's just stay here and continue to encourage and lift each other up!!!!
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Hi friends. JO-5, been missing you. Was thinking about you a few days this week. I still post on a couple of threads, mostly exercise related to keep me motivated toward a healthy lifestyle. Occasionally post here and on the prayer thread to top off or fill-up my spiritual side. Works wonders. Wishing increased blessings for each of you.
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Just stopping by to send a little love and prayer to all of you. Patoo and JO I really miss you guys a lot.
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Hey all,
Playing catch up. It's been so nice outside the last week, I've been out from sun up to sun set! My poor house, inside, shows the lack of attention!! lol But the outside? Oh-la la!
Thank you all for your prayers. I really needed it.
I actually don't mind the fighting/snarkiness on the other threads. Though the threads I frequent are full of wonderful supportive women! I've had moments of total snarkiness and had to go back and apologize to the person I offended. So since I am GUILTY of doing it, I understand that we all deal with BC in different ways and are at different places on the journey. Sometimes anger and bitterness run amok.
It is difficult imo to have an honest discourse with a liar though. When I sense someone is lying, I just skip over their comments. By nature, my first impulse is to engage them, call them out...but what does that benefit? So I "try" to ignore it.
As with most things: Eat the meat. Leave the bones.
Have an AWESOME weekend!!
In Him,
Tonya
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I am seeing my MO on Monday and she will do labwork as always. Please keep me in prayer for good results. I also need to get my house sold. We are closing on another in just over a month, and I would like to have one sold before we move. I really started packing today, and had a little meltdown as I thought of leaving my granddaughter, son, daughter in law, mother and sister behind. I know I am moving only 4 1/2 hrs. away, but it seems so far now. I'm also exhausted and overwhelmed by the packing project. I just need some encouragement and probably a "suck it up" speech. I love you gals!
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Rocket, I will pray for your requests. I'm not moving but my daughter is moving to MI (I live in WA) in a few weeks, so I understand about moving away and having family move away. It's hard! It's hard work and emotional. But God will go with you and help you deal. He'll take care of you. I am starting chemo this week, so I am just beginning all the blood tests and scans. I know it must be nerve-wracking at times. Prayers for peace for you as you wait for your house to sell and get test results.
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Dear Rocket, I am so glad that you can come here for support and prayers. I will pray for you daily as you go through this challenging and stressful time. But just knowing that Our Lord is with you, must be very calming. He will be with you every step of the way and help you to adjust to these changes again!!! He will also place Christians in your new place to help you adjust and feel welcome. Finding a church has always helped us to adjust and feel grounded again!!!! Things will calm down and by this time next year, you will have normalcy once again. You will also have good results with your labwork. Jeannie57, Prayers are also coming your way as you begin Chemo. You have a great support system here!!! 0
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Kathy, thanks so much for the prayers and your encouraging words! It's been a rough week, physically, with the port, a fill the next day and physical therapy. I will feel better and stronger when chemotherapy begins on Friday. Prayers are so appreciated.
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Jeannie: Good luck with your tx! Sending you prayers and healing energy!
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Thanks, Kaata!
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Dear Jeannie, May I please also put you on our prayer group list at church?? I always ask first!! I just know that you will do great, and know Our Lord is holding you in the palm of His Hand!!!! We have a pretty similiar diagnosis, so if you have any questions just ask. God bless you. You are on my heart as you go through this!!!!
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Jeannie praying for you too as you go through treatment. You will do great. God is watching over you. Thank you so much for praying for my little prayer requests when you already have a lot on your plate. Bless you!
Kathy, you and others have been so faithful to pray for me. I can't tell you how much it means to me that I can always come here for support and prayers. Thank you also for your encouraging words. They really lift my heart.0 -
Meant to say, Thanks, Kaara, not thanks, Kaata!
Kathy, yes, I welcome all prayers! I know the prayers of others are lifting my spirits and keeping me calm as God answers them. I am so thankful that I have this place to come to with women who really understand. It has been such an encouragment already!
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Hello all, I could use some prayer today. (actually anytime) The women's prayer group which I hosted for many years until I started rads in Feb, is set to resume meeting at my house tomorrow morning. I am not feeling very full of faith anymore. I got very sick during rads and still have low energy. I am 5 weeks out of tx and have started Arimidex just 2 weeks ago. I was very active in my church, held positions on the board, taught children's classes, etc... But now it's all I can do to "drag" myself to church on Sunday. I've lost my joy in the Lord. I am holding on and acting as if, because I know it will return, but I don't feel like I am the same person as before dx. I also attend a christian women's meeting on Friday nights, and they like me to pray as we end the meeting, but I feel like they are asking the wrong person, I am not the prayer warrior I once was. I feel like if I had the victory in Jesus I would be in a better place spiritually. So if ya'll think of it pray tomorrow morning at 8am that I can clean off the dining room table enough for my sister's in Christ to gather.
I pray for you all everyday, not that I know your "real" names, but He does.
thanks
Nancy
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Praying for you Nancy....I'm feeling the same way, and feel very guilty about it. I'm thinking it's just a phase, I also was quite active in my church. Your meeting with the ladies will do you good.
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Oh, Nancy, I feel for you. You have been through so much, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It's still recovery time. It's hard work being fake and putting on a front, and it doesn't bring peace, joy or satisfaction. God loves you just the way you are, joyless or not. He is patient and wants to help you up. Maybe it's time to tell your Christian sisters with whom you meet, not just us, that YOU need prayer and why. We don't always have to be the strong ones. Being authentic can bring glory to God and help you, too, however humbling and difficult it is to do.
Have you tried writing your thoughts and feelings down as a prayer to God? I don't do this much, not a journaler, but I found that the action of writing it down feels like at least I have accomplished something. Nancy, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart with us. I will definitely be praying for you, that you will feel God supporting you, that you will feel like more than a conqueror, that your "jar of clay" will heal and your spirits will be lifted. Also for courage as you meet with your sisters in Christ.0 -
Nancy,
I can relate to your 'feelings' right now. However, I KNOW GOD STILL LOVES EACH OF US, and will give us the strength to handle what we need to handle. Even Jesus, when in the Garden of Gethsemane prayed to the Father to remove the burden, but also said, "Thy will be done".
Perhaps, if you express your thoughts to a person or two, that you feel you can share your deepest with, they will be able to encourage you, and maybe this will even give someone else the opportunity to experience the feeling of doing for others...... Please know, you are on my list. As christians, we can hold each other up in prayer and by doing so, we ourselves can be fed!!!!!
With christian sisterly love.
Vickie
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Dear Nancy!!! Everyone here has given you wonderful advice!!! Our Lord knows and totally understands what you are going through. He won't leave you during your difficult time, He is very patient and knows what a wonderful servant you have been!!!! He is a Loving and Forgiving God!!!! I just have a feeling that when you are cleaning your table and getting ready for your group, that spark will return and you will feel renewed once again. I sure have been where you are and I promise, it does get better. God bless you and know we are all here to support you!!!!!
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Nancy, I think most all of us can relate to how you are feeling. Been there, done that as they say! I go there still at times when I struggle physically or emotionally. You have been through a lot, and it will take time to heal. I am two years out from chemo, rads, and have had five various surgeries in two years, and I still have days of complete, overwhelming exhaustion or pain. I feel like I've aged 15 years in two. I also know that there is nothing that I can do to make God love me any more or any less. He showed me His love by the death of His Son. So instead of trying to take my whole future and figure things out, I decided to take an hour at a time. I asked myself if I could be happy and hopeful for an hour. The answer to that question for me is yes. I will live hour-to-hour until I can stretch that time to longer increments. Cancer unraveled my life. It shook me up in so many ways, but the Lord is drawing me close to Him one step at a time. I would rather live with complete honesty about how I feel than pretend to be happy or joyful just to please others. God already knows how I feel. Shortly after I was dx'd, our associate pastor asked me if I felt like my cancer was a gift from God. I curtly replied, "Yeah, one I'd like to exchange!" I showed him my annoyance because I felt like he needed to learn about sensitivity. Good grief! In time I may come to appreciate more the work that God is doing in me through my dx, but at the time I was totally unprepared for my pastor's remark. We are in the Master's capable hands, and He will guide you back to joy in Him with time. Don't be too hard on yourself and know that you will be in my prayers.
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Rocket : Cancer a gift from God? I don't think God gives gifts like that. That was a very inappropriate remark that your Pastor made...I would have asked him to explain his meaning to me. You were a lot kinder than I would have been.
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Rocket,
It took me two years, but I actually look at my BC as a gift now. In my situation, it served as a wall to a path I was determined to pursue. It saved my life. It saved my family. How could I see it as anything else?
I do know this is NOT the case for every woman. But I am so thick headed, God had to allow this to get my attention because everything else I blew off. And it worked.
I was really mad though, went through the grieving process and wasn't able to appreciate the :"gift" until about 18 months out.
Having said that though, I wouldn't appreciate anyone else saying it to me, even now......It's very familiar and full of assumption to say such a thing. I'm sorry you had to hear it.
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TonLee and Kaara, I do believe that all things work together for good to those who love God and to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28). I don't think God gave me cancer, but I do understand that we live in a fallen world and that there will be sickness as a part of that fallen world. I believe that God is sovereign over all things, and that He allowed cancer to enter my life for a reason. At the time of my dx, I was unprepared to accept those truths, even though I believed them. It has taken me a long time to work through the reality of what my body has endured. It has given me an appreciation for the suffering of Christ on the cross. It has given me a greater sensitivity for others who suffer and a deeper understanding of where I am in my relationship to God. I understand my pastor's remark, and he meant no harm by it, but it showed a lack of sensitivity on his part. I now believe he has grown from that experience too. He later apologized for it, and I have forgiven him. It was a growing time for all of us.
So I guess it boils down to the definition of the word gift. I see it both ways. It is a gift in that God has brought me to a deeper dependence on Him. I sure didn't see any of that at the time I was dx'd. Would I ever want to go through it again? - not particularly, and yet if God allows it to happen again, then I will cast myself at His feet in utter dependence on His mercy and trust that He will take care of me or take me home to glory. What other option is there? Not trusting Him is not an option for me.
I love you ladies and am grateful that God has placed you in my life to support me and love me despite my shortcomings. The Lord works in you and through you as you minister here to others. Have a blessed day!0 -
Rocket,
What a loving and wise testimony! Thank you so much for sharing it. I love to read "real" journeys and lessons.
I believe in this culture of plenty that a lot of people, often without knowing it, (I did at least) take blessings for granted. Little things like food, house, health. I've been to 3rd world countries. I've seen poor Christians, so poor in fact some Christians here in the land of plenty believe they did something to deserve being poor.
I do not abide the prosperity gospel. In essence it teaches God only prospers (defined as material wealth) those he loves. That is just not true. Which is why we are commanded to SHARE...because there will always be poor among us.
Not so much with money, but I bought into a mentality that went something like this: If there is trouble in my life, then it is likely out of disobedience and I need to examine my walk. (I think this is wise.) Where I fell off the path? God allows bad things to happen to His people. (Sure I read Job, but I'm no Job! God knew he would remain faithful, so I always believed it was this foreknowledge that made it ok, as a lesson to following generations.)
There is a saying something along the lines of: All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
I made the mistake of applying that bit of human wisdom to God.... which led to the question...If He allows evil, how then can He be good?
While that bit of wisdom may be generally true of man, I don't think it applies to the infinite. I believe God allows these things (evil things for a time) because His grace and mercy are better exhibited in forgiveness of our sins, and His justice in evil's punishment.
I didn't even know I tied the comfort of my life, of my walk, to the "as long as I'm obedient, things will go my way" leash.
Duh. Not my way...HIS way.
Life wasn't exactly prosperous or comfortable for the disciples. Who am I to think I deserve better than the very men God chose to walk this planet with?
And yet I believed the lie. Quoted SCRIPTURE to back it up.
God is good. He is Holy. Whatever comes into my life, be it evil or good, He allows. And what I can cling to now is this: He PROMISES to work ALL things for the good of those who love Him. I may not "see" it on the green side of the grass....but I am assured that every breath I take, every move I make (lol), is a single necessary thread on the tapestry of eternity.
And I am so thankful He has allowed me to be part of His eternal tapestry. That He's stitched me into the family...and when things get rough I hear this..."Hang in there Tonya. Just trust me. This is horrible, it is true, but I promise, promise, promise, the END will be worth it."
Amen.
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Good Morning! Thanks for praying and the sharing of your experiences. This morning was good for me, it felt more like normal life. I tried to explain how empty I feel, but I'm not sure that they "got" it like you. I know this is just a season for me and the joy will return as it has in the past.
My Pastor and his wife said to me after I was first dx, that what a wonderful opportunity I would have to share the Gospel with people while going thru tx. What I wanted to hear was, that is awful "how can I help?" What they said was we will pray for you. what I needed was food and rides and company. The person who provided that for me was a friend I have known for years (30). She saw me on the boat (I live on an island and had to travel for tx) when I was so sick I could barely walk. She does not go to any church, she is a gay person that when she asked me to come to her "wedding" I declined. She was the one that cooked and drove and actually called my Pastor to tell him I needed help. After that my church family did provide for me.
Anyway I am saying this because the wake up call is for me! How many times have I heard someone is going through a hard time and I have not stepped up to help without prompting?
I was so involved with the business of church. I was so involved with the doing that I never took time to be still. Is the "reason" I got BC to learn this lesson? I don't know. I am a work in progress. I know it is only thru His grace that I have the life I have, it is certainly not the life I "deserve" after living the way I did for so many years before being saved by his mercy. Right now I have to take care of myself, but when I do get back involved in ministry I will have a more compassionate heart.
I take great comfort in the fact that the Holy Spirit can pray thru me, even when I don't "feel" it. And when I don't have the strength, that is when He carries me.
Thank you all!
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What a blessing you guys have been to me, reading your stories. I'm right in the middle of my cancer ride right now, and I am experiencing all of the up and downs with my faith. I thought before all of this went down, that I was stronger than ever in my faith, and then cancer hit, and I fell apart....not completely, I knew God was in total control, but I had trouble "trusting" what He was going to do! I feel so ashamed admitting that, and I am working through it now, and learning tons. Thanks for sharing!
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Dear Wonderful Ladies and Sisters in Christ, Your stories of growth and wisdom inspire and strengthen me. Thank you so much for your honesty and your willingness to share your deepest thoughts and testimony. God bless you all!!! I know that our Lord wants to pick me up and carry me, but I try to run alone, and that is when I fall. One of my favorite scriptures to share: Isaiah 40:31 those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. Hugs to you all!!!
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Rocket, thank you so much for sharing your story. You are farther along in your cancer journey and I have much to learn: about cancer but more importantly about God. I agree with so much of what you said. I have been through some tough things in life already that have caused me to depend on God. Like you said, what other choice is there but to trust Him? I think those experiences have helped me trust Him now. Hopefully I will feel the same way when it gets tough through treatments! I keep hoping I will be strong enough, forgetting that He is my Strength to get through this and will give me what I need when I need it. My best friend has a rare, incurable form of lymphoma. No real symptoms now but in three years or so she will need treatments and then most people live five years after that. So she has an "end date," so to speak. Of course, only God knows. She's an amazing believer who has helped me gain perspective on all of this. She has been able to share her story with groups and it is a powerful testimony of how you trust God in the midst of impossible situations. We both feel that either way, life or death, we are winners because we'll be with Jesus. Of course, God gives us a strong will to live and all of us honor that, as well.
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You ladies are all amazing. But our Lord is even more so. It was no accident that you came here, depleted, and was able to give and get support from your sisters. We serve an AWESOME God and I praise Him every moment of my life.
Thanks for sharing and caring. You all are a blessing to many others.
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