Calling all TNs
Comments
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Angelisa- so good to hear from you and that your doing well!!
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Heidi,
Those are wonderful photos! It took lots of patience to take those. I love the sound of cicadas. The ones I've seen here in TN look very similar, with very vibrant, red eyes.
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Fighter- those pictures were taken with a digital point and shoot. I started with my digital SLR but, given my "state of dress" I opted for the easiest method. I wanted to put my SLR macro lens on and really go wild with close-ups, but I was afraid getting dressed, changing SLR lenses, etc. would make me miss the show!
However, if you are into serious photography, as I am with travel/sport/club/family photos you can't go wrong with a digitql SLR. The prices have come way down and there are many different lenses & filters available for specialized use.
However, if you just want an easy, fun, simple camera a point and shoot is the way to go. I bought one son a Kodak Easy Share, the other a Nikon Coolpix and mine is a Sony Cybershot. All take amazingly good pictures in a wide variety of conditions and have video capability.
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Thanks for your response.....the itching/burning drives me nuts. When I asked the radiaolgist he just shrugged his shoulders and said that was not his field. My MD gave me some steroidal cream which did not help at all. The itching and burning is on the INSIDE not on the outside....no Dr seems to understand that. I take a lot of whole food supplements by Standard Process..will check their Adrenal support. Just one question, did your itching start after chemo/rads...I only had rads and the itching started long before tx. Thanks again
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Hi Wrenwood47, I also get burning (not itching) in both my feet, not calves, which started after chemo. I feel them burning when I go to bed. Someone told me it was neuropathy. I notice that you only had Rads, not chemo. I think mine started after chemo, so maybe we don't have similar thing. I hope you get some relief from this annoying problem.
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Heidi, my husband said when he was a little kid living in Arizona he used to tie a string around cicadas and then have them fly around like a toy plane! I said how abusive to the poor little bug! He said he would then let them go and they were ok. I have never seen one before and had no idea what they were, so thanks for sharing! No bugs like that in the northwest! We do have some grand slugs though:)
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Feeling like crap today and hubby and I have not been getting along for the past few days. I feel like he is there for me physically, meaning he will cook, help clean the house, and help me out, but emotionally he just doesn't seem to understand. He never asks how I am doing, if I say I am not feeling well I swear he sighs and rolls his eyes like I am faking it. Why would I fake it? I want to feel good. He never says anything nice to me, not that he says anything mean to me. I just don't know, he seems to be on edge all the time and anything I say can set him off into an argument. He seems emotionally distant. He is participating in a study called helping her heal and is receiving counseling with the study, so I hope it helps. My therapist also said I should have him come in and chat with us as she knows I have been frustrated. Don't get me wrong, I feel lucky to have him, but I miss the emotional closeness we had before. I feel so alone, as I feel like my friends are also emotionally distant. Maybe it is me. Maybe I am pushing people away, I just don't know what to do. I feel so sad right now. Money is very tight right now and he keeps saying things like we need to save money for this or that and I keep telling him we don't even have money to pay all the bills we have let alone save, then he gets mad at me, saying we spend too much money. I have always paid the bills but I think it is time for him to do it so he can see the reality of it. The price of gas and traveling to the doctors and paying for parking is sending us to the poor house.Sorry for the vent, but I am laying here alone not feeling well and crying, not knowing what to do.
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(((((bkj66))))))
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bkj - I wish we weren't a country apart, so that we could get together and commiserate, we have a lot in common. I have been with my DH for 15+ years, and love him dearly, but he has not always been there for me emotionally. He sometimes thinks I am over-reacting, and can be emotionally distant, especially at doctor appointments and chemo treatments. He joined me at therapy, and I learned he is terrified - not just of losing me, but ofbeing a single parent, having to give up his blossoming career, not traveling for his work a anymore, etc. These things seem so selfish - as my mom said to him "don't you think Susan would trade places with you in a heartbeat?". But I have had to learn these are real, valid fears and I need to accept them. We still get frustrated at each other, I still rant that he's not there for me all the time, but I think we are doing better. So, long story short, I think it would help to have him join you in therapy. Unfortunately, life doesnt stop, and we have to deal with all the other stresses in life on top of this. Hugs to you!
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Wren - I think Lovelyface might be on to something with the neuropathy...It can show up in weird places sometimes. Also, have you amped up your potassium intake? Maybe try a banana a day, or some potassium supplements...it could be cramping in disguise...?
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bkj66 - I'm sorry your having such a rough time. I think Suze35 is right, I think your husband my be scared and doesn't know how to react. Both of you described my husband at times. I know he can't handle or process his emotions well. All of his emotions come out as anger or he distances himself from me. He's in therapy now and I hope it helps him. It would be fantastic if we could all get together and have a girls night. I can't remember the last one I've had!
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Hi girls.
I wanted to solicit opinions on the follow up visits with the MedOnc. I have my first follow up tomorrow (I'm almost 12 wks PFC) and was wondering how that will go. Like--is she really going to be able to tell me anything? I'm TN and all...so I feel like there's no real monitoring that can go on.
Obviously I have a list of ? for her, but I just wondered what the protocol was. I'm 38, pretty sure I'm in permanent chemopause, which sucks, so a lot of my ? are around that. Just wondering what the plan is for girls like us. Mammograms every 6 mos? Any other scans? Or do they just wait for me to break my hip and say, "Oh look--mets to the bone?"...thanks for any input!
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bkj66 - hugs to you dearly. No one not even our hubbys can ever understand how and what we are going through. They are adjusting alongside with us as well, from the time of dx to the treatments, they are adjusting and I feel men generally do not know how to show their emotions and they cope worst than us in times of crisis. This is my opinion. 5 years back when i had my first cancer, I went through a bad patch with DH. I felt the same way as you are now. He can be physically there but emotionally he was not there. Our kids were young, I was sick and he had a flourishing career and as I had excellent support from my parents and siblings, he internalised his emotions, escaped and stayed out late, drinking after work and socialising. I got bitter, threw all my time with the kids, ignored him or argued with him and overtime we grew more distant. This bitterness took a toll on me healthwise. Fast forward - I have learnt to love unconditionally just as how I love my kids. I let go of my bitterness towards him (bitterness inside us causes stagnation of our own internal energy flow), I learnt to love him once again like before, we started communicating better and more and slowly he could empathise with me but he still 'scolds' me when I got whiny:) Days 3-5 I was having a rough time and I whined and he told me: snapped out of it, you know these are the side effects, take them as they are and live with them till they go away. This is how my man react to a situation - very practically. This time round he also took control of the entire household situation and I just have to switch out of my " I am a superwoman" mode and let him take control.
I have learnt to let go of all my own bitterness and resentments and am now feeling so much better.
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Frances, yes, that seems to be exactly what I am going through. I know he is having a hard time and has extra stress put on him, picking up my slack and such. I try to be sensitive to that but sometimes I just need him to say something nice and positive, not to be bugging me about saving money that we don't have. I think he thinks he would just be strong and not complaining if it were him going through this so he expects me to be the same way, but I cry sometimes and am sad sometimes, and he just does not get that.
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bkj66 - extra hugs to you. I am with you. Cry when you feel like it, shout when you feel like it...Find comfort in others, bff, Kids, siblings etc. We women are better at giving you support. I have a circle of close galfriends and we are linked up on closed facebook and I update them on my situation, vent when I want to and they will post me music, comforting words, researches on breast cancer....
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*Warning this may sound blunt*
I put it to my husband like this and it worked. It could have been your prostate instead of my breast. No one is immune to this UGLY disease. So take it easy and we will get pass this. The whole household changed. He went and got himself checked out and things are good. I am scared of the future, but it feels good right now to be on the other side of things.
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slcst12- My onc does tumor marker testing (bloodwork) every 3 months and asks me a lot of questions. But I dont get any scans. I don't get mamograms because I had a double mastectomy but I am hoping for an ultrasound of the chest area and nodes. My appt is Thursday for my annual Gyno exam. I am going to ask her for a script to get the ultrasound.
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bkj66....trouble is that all this cancer crap is so stressful on us and those around us, that nothing is simple and every word or action is open to misinterpretation...sometimes I think we're not very good at accepting help when it's offered..(I went to the beach yesterday and a friend wanted to carry my beach chair for me, and I snapped at her and said "I'm not an invalid!!"), at other times we feel hurt that our husbands talk and behave as though everything is almost normal...men are excellent at burying their heads in the sand, are good with the practical stuff but much less with the emotions...I can't really advise you on how to be, but know that we are all struggling along in the same way, and things do change from week to week, if not day to day sometimes... good wishes coming yr way from the very hot Mediterranean!!
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Thank you all for the kind words and wisdom. Something must have sank in with my hubby because he was extra affectionate when he got home from work and was asking how I was. Today he sent me a text from work saying that I should go do something fun, unfortunately I don't feel up to it yet as it is only 3 days post chemo and I am tired. He really is a great husband, I just think the emotional stuff is too hard on him so it does come out as anger and frustration.
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bkj66 - I think our husbands are from the same mold! Glad to hear he's snapped out of it and your glad your feeling a little better.
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bkj66: I'm glad your husband was extra affectionate and might be coming around. I have been in his shoes in that I have been the spouse of person who is very sick and my guess is that he really just doesn't know what to do. We worked at trying to figure that out for 13 years and I'm not sure we ever figured it all the way out! What ended up helping us the most is talking about what we wanted/needed. So, for example, in your situation, you would tell him, I need more affection and when you say this about money I feel extra stressed, etc. And have these conversations at a more "neutral" time, not when you are in the middle of an argument or feeling emotional, etc. For us, that was the best way that we were able to support each other during the most difficult times when he was sick.
I also figured out that part of it was that we both wanted different things when we didn't feel well. For me, I mostly want to be left alone when I am sick. So, my natural inclination when my husband was sick was to leave him alone. He, on the other hand, wants someone right next to him when he is sick. I wish that I would have figured that one out a lot sooner.
At any rate, I hope that it gets better. This is such a stressful time. Big hugs!
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Went to the surgeon today and he believes the chemo has got the cancer, said he would only have to go in and get a small amount and send it to path. I hope and pray he is right. After surgery I will start radiation. I will be so glad when this year is over.
I hope everyone is doing good!
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Yay, ksmatthews! That's fantastic news.
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Hey Ladies,
I am really down these past couple of days. My emotions are all over the place. I was doing ok (not) until I found a small spot around the armpit area. I thought I had a doctors appointment, but I did not. The nurse let me come on in and did an ultra-sound on the area but since the doctor was not there all she could tell me was that she did not think it was anything to be overly worried about but you see my surgeon did skin sparing and tunneled up under the skin and since there is no incision and she don't know where he tunneled at she can't say for sure it is scar tissue. I have an appointment on the 28th. I finished my AC and I am glad as it has kicked my butt. My hat is off to you that have not had to miss work. I have not been able to even stand long enough to get any housework done. I have no strength and I have not even felt like getting in my pool. Then I feel this spot and think did I do this all for nothing.......:(. I can't get death off of my mind and I am not sure I have the strength or the want to even keep fighting. I am suppose to start Taxol in a week and like I stated before I AM TERRIFIED of it. If this AC knocked me out and the Taxol is suppose to be worse with pain and weakness how in the world can I survive it. I am sorry I have not been here, I have not even read responses to my last few questions. Just don't want to do anything.......thanks for letting me have a pity-party. I don't want to die ladies but I am so scared of living now. I don't know what I want anymore. Cancer diagnoses is NEVER over for us. People keep telling me you got the hardest part over..........the surgery......NO WAY!!! CHEMO has been the hardest for me. Anyways thanks for listening0 -
Stupidboob-Hugs!!!! I had TACx6 and I think most of my side effects came from the AC. Don't be too hard on yourself. I learned that I just had to do what I could when I could and the rest would be there for some other time. I know that may sound cliche, but there were days I could barely get out of bed and care for the kids let alone get laundry and dishes done. Thankfully my kids were self sufficient somewhat, because I am sure there were days that I didn't do all they needed done either. I understand I too have to shove the what if's away all the time. And I agree the surgeries were not the hardest part. I ended up on an antidepressant during chemo, because the emotions got to be too much. Hang in there, we are here for you when you need to unload.
Yeay- ksmathews! Happy for the good news.
slcst12- I too have some of the same questions. I saw my onc. on Friday. I feel as you do. They didn't want to do any testing and wait for me to have problems before they did anything other than bloodwork every 3 months. I told him I was not comfortable with this due to I had 3 tumors and 3 pos. nodes before it was even found. He was really good about it and ordered a PEt/Ct scan for Oct. when I see him again. I know he would have done it sooner if I asked, but I was okay with waiting. Just hate the what if's. I don't want to live that way. I want to get back into life and not worry everyday if there is something there.
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You're allowed to be down! And some people find Taxol or Taxotere easier than AC; it's very individual. You're very vulnerable to feeling down right now, with the AC being rough, dreading the T and worrying about the lump. Try taking just one thing at a time instead of all 3 ganging up on you. If you have any Xanax or Ativan, take them; if you don't, can you call your doc and ask for something for the anxiety? (((stupidboob)))
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Hi Everyone,
I don't post much, because I'm keeping up with you all on my IPhone, and posting isn't easy on it!
Wanted to tell you all, that you have been a wonderful source of information. My doctor is now tracking my Vit. D levels, after I did some research into it, and listened to what you had to say about it. (Forgot who posted that one). I want to thank whoever also put the tip about being able to use Claritin instead of Benadryl during the Taxol treatments. The benadryl was the only thing that was keeping me from being able to drive to/from treatment. (I don't want to burn out my friends, when it isn't necessary). I brought up the Claritin to my doctor and the research nurse (my girlfriend refers to her as "dumb ass reseach nurse", not one bit of info she has given me has been accurate) tried to stop it because she wasn't sure it "fit with the research study protocols". I smiled sweetly and told her, "well I recommend you go check. I'm in the control group and can be out of this study in a heartbeat, if it intefers with my health needs!" All of a sudden it wasn't a problem any longer, lol
Tomorrow, I'm having my "Shave The Head" party. It will be nothing but laughs and silliness. I have decorations for all the guests to wear. StupidBoob, I want you to know that you'll be there also, lol. I have loved your screen name! I'm having a Boob cake, and we're putting a sign above the R boob.......that says "Stupid Boob!"
Also StupidBoob, your experience may not be the same, but I'm finding the Taxol to be a piece of cake. The only thing I have is some numbness in my feet. I don't find it bothers me much, because I've had it off and on for years from my back injury, so I'm used to it. I do treatment #8 this week. The only other problem is that my liver function tests came back high this last week, so I don't know if they'll have to reduce the dose. (Anyone have any experience with this????)
Heidi, I'm still about 5 pages behind, so I don't know if you're back is any better??? If it isn't....get thee to a neurosurgeon for an opinion. When I hurt my back in December, the MRI said it was just a bulging disc. (I've had those for 22 years, so I thought it was no big deal). I kept getting progressively worse, despite sterod shots, therapy, chiropractor. The pain was so bad, I lost 25 pounds in a month. (My doctor go really concerned then, my fat ass hasn't lost 25 pounds in the whole 20 years I've been his patient). Turned out I had a disc that had herniated directly onto the root of my sciatic nerve. I will probably always have a numb R foot, because it took so long to get surgery. If you're not better, please get a second opinion.
Love to you all
Kathy
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Thank you blondelawyer-my hubby and I do need to be more specific about what we need. I have told him not to bring up money issues when we are both already stressed, but he does anyways. My feeling is we will get those issues worked out, and I tell him that. So what if I am a week or 2 late on a bill as long as it is not the mortgage
As long as we have a place to live and have food, the rest may have to wait!It seems it has been a hard week for many of us, I just want to send cyber (or is it cybor) hugs to everyone.
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Kathy- my back is fine now; thanks for the info though. I had an x-ray and MRI and nothing unusual showed up beyond age-appropriate wear & tear. Amazing that something that stopped me cold could resolve itself so quickly (@48 hours) though I am still being careful.I'm also looking into getting an Inversion Table.
In fact, I'm taking my horse(s) swimming tomorrow in a nearby river. Photos to follow!
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ksmathews: Yay, I love good news!!
Stupidboob: My surgeon tunneled through my breast to under my arm for my sentinal nodes and it's all lumps and bumps and scar tissue there and it always will be and I hope this is all it is for you, too. Losing my hair and chemo was one of the hardest things I have ever done and a year from now things will be much better. Hugs!
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