Calling all TNs
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I have no words..............................We just lost 3 wonderful women.
My sincere condolences to Mary's husband, family and friends.
This has been a very difficult week.
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Heidi, I think that is a blessing. At least less suffering, right? I liked reading your post, it gave me a little peace knowing that if it were to happen to me, I would like to go fast. I have to check MBJ's profile to see what date she actually moved and then wrote to us about her recurrence. From that date till now, it has hardly been a few months, right? But she did have that frozen shoulder for at least 8 months prior to that. Apart from these two things, I don't think she was suffering. I am wondering if she was working or was she on disability? Honestly, this forum here has made me so strong now that I can face my own situation if it comes down to that. Knowing that this disease is a killer, that is why we feel so anxious and scared hearing our results. if the results are not good, then maybe at that point I can calm down and face it. The worst part is hearing the results of your scans.
Honestly, if I had not come here, I would have been devastated to learn of things every step of the way. I think it is better to just go ahead, know everything about it, plan your lives, and be prepared. Prepare your family too. Life is just like that, man, yes, it is just like that!
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beccad, honey, everyone's destiny is different. I hope these deaths do not bring everyone really down. Each case is different, each tumor is different.
I opened each URL that I found on Laura, Suze and Mary. I looked at all the 3 pictures. Each and every one of these 3 women were just so physically beautiful. They all seemed not to have any weight issues and had beautiful faces, especially since they were so young. I wish I could post the pictures here, but am unable to, not sure why I can't cut and paste here.
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Lovelyface - I agree with you that knowing what to expect is a godsend. But as for the speed of this disease, it's so all over the place. I was a manager and had a beautiful woman who worked for me...she was stage IV for almost 20 years, and then she had brain mets. It still took a year before she passed. And then you have someone who is gone in a matter of weeks or days. You just never know. And they may very well have seen it coming but didn't want to share quite that much.
I was on vacation and stayed away from comments on this discussion. I am shocked and saddened at the loss of 3 of our own, what seems like so quickly. So sad.
I had my consult with my DIEP surgeon today - will schedule my surgery for early August. I can't wait to get reconstruction over and done with. These breast forms are a pain.
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I am feeling the same things as the rest of the group. Total and utter disbelief and a loss for words. I don't want to believe this. It is so NOT fair. All of these women were just... so helpful... so kind... so full of life!
However - All three of these women would be the first to tell all of us NOT to lose hope. To enjoy our day. To find and do something wonderful with the time we have been blessed with. Each of them would be telling us NOT to sit here, but to get out and ENJOY the things TODAY. That's the only way I know to honor what each of them stood for, and to give tribute.
I don't want those who are just joining us to be so down in despair by all of this that they lose hope and become deeply depressed. Yes, triple negative is very agressive. Yes, it can kill. But it can also be beaten and thousands of triple negative women around the world can attest to this. They've lived with it and through it and bunches are well beyond the 10 and 20 yr mark. Chemo is the best thing to fight our cancer, but so is outlook, attitude, diet, exercise, and more.
There's no way to wrap our heads around what has just happened within the last FIVE days.. yes, FIVE. Each of these women touched every one of us and I wish to God they were still here. We need a CURE! I don't want to lose any more of you! Yes, I feel like screaming!
I urge each of you to take a break from the forum if you feel the need. It honestly does help and it's not that you are deserting anyone. Sometimes we just need to get out there and remember what it's like to live. I don't do a lot of posting here, and I hadn't been checking in regularly until I heard so many of our friends were not doing well. Being a nurse aide, I can tell you it is true - death comes in 3's. There are 3 more angels keeping tabs on all of us, so we better enjoy the day we have before us and pass on all the positivity they embraced.
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All I can say is wow, RIP and cancer sucks.
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It is too much in one week. My heart aches for their families.
I hate to say it or make this about me, but these three deaths have scared the shit out me.0 -
Can we all scream together......I HATE FUC#ING CANCER!!!!!!. I am so angry and sad. Another wonderful soul is gone from this earth..
Irr4993: I am scared, too. But we will get through....
Beccad: you hang in there.
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beccad: You ramble any time you want. We are here for you too. I know it's hard, and it scares me too, but try to remember that the majority of us do very well with chemo, and thousands of us are out there, alive and well, after treatment. The majority of triple negatives do not come to this forum. If those who are out there, alive and well, visited us and each posted how well they are doing, you would see the scale topple over in the direction of LIFE. Hang in there..0
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Irr- I think we are all scared- just normal human emotion. At least we have each other to discuss our fears with.
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Becca - I hope you get a wonderful night's rest! Wish I was there, I'd make you both dinner! I
Hearing the news of our latest loss, has left me numb. I am so glad I have the shoulder of my wonderful DH to cry on, even though I know it must cause him anxiety, thinking about me.
Today's good thing...
It was a beautiful day here. We threw open all the windows and gave the house a nice airing. I also cleaned all the ceiling fans - my chore for the day.
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My good thing for today- My PS office called and asked if I would speak to a woman who was going to be having the same surgery I did- Right MX and left lift. She is very scared and really wanted to talk to someone who had been throught it. I spoke to her, answered her questions and offered my support. The last thing I told her was to check out BCO. She is a TN, but thankfully DCIS only so no chemo. I told her I would not have made it without the knowledge and support of all the wonderful ladies here. It made me feel really good to help alleviate her fears.
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Memorial Service, Celebration of Laura Jane Shively's Life will be March 24th, 2012 at 3 PM in her private gardens in Bloomington, IN.
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MBJ's husband's blog:
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OMG - I cannot grasp the loss of Mary now too - it's like a fucking nightmare. I am shattered - I didn't see this one coming - at all. I posted on Ryan's blog - I just have no more words - none at all. Be well all of you, at least as well as can be expected.
Linda
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I am trying to not let all of this get me down. I think I have a pretty good support group around me. One of the surgeons at work came in and gave me a hug yesterday. (working at a small hospital, you can't keep a secret, HIPPA or not). Plus it will not be much of a secret when all of my hair is gone and I am back in scrub caps again.
Oh, my MO sent me to an oncology dentist (who knew there was such a speciality). This guy is wonderful. I know that I need to have a lot of work done, but his main concern was that the bones were healthy and to get my teeth cleaned and 2 fillings done for now. everything else could wait. It was almost pleasant for a dentist appt. I will see him again next Wednesday before chemo on Thursday. I am getting Abraxane this time and then a shot called Xgeva it is used to prevent bone breakdown due to the mets.
Becca
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this is all just too much. i had no idea i could be so effected by three wonderful women i never got the chance to meet in person. i am just so over all of it. the loss, the recurrences, the treatments.
laurajane and I had just started to communicate via pm and i felt so honored that she took her valuable time to console me. little old me. it just made me feel so very special.
Suze was one of the first ladies to welcome me and MBJ kept me on the positive track when my anxiety flared. selfishly i miss them because they had been my sounding boards and i could use them right now. i think we were all diagnosed in 2010 and had hoped we had many many years to talk about "remember when". now i will talk to them when i am in my garden and listen very carefully for the rustle of the leaves, the chirp of the birds and look for the rabbits. they will be with me until i too join them. for me that time is far away, so for now my church will be my garden where i will pray for their peace.
Love to you all!
the best thing that happened to me today: i only have to do radiation. it's small, but i'll take it.
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Oh Inmate, just Rads is the best news I got today. That is so wonderful. No chemo? Yeah! Hooray!!!!! Rads is a piece of cake, it was for me. No hair loss! You GO GIRL!!!!!!!!
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Inmate: You are not being selfish... if you are, all of the rest of us are too. I was also dx in 2010. There have been many women here who took time out to help me, listen to me, offer advice, pray, and send well wishes. These three women were among them and I consider myself blessed to have crossed paths with them. I know they wouldn't want you to feel you had been selfish. They truly enjoyed helping us and they cared deeply about our well being. Most of us will have many years to "remember when". And when we do our remembering, we will smile and remember three beautiful ladies who changed the face of the "Calling all TNS" thread, and changed so many of our lives in the process.
The best thing that happened to me today... I looked outside at my four year old son who has grown so much in the last year and watched as he hung onto the tire swing (that he didn't know how to play with last fall), running around in circles and finally hanging on with his hands... his little feet flying around in circles in the setting sun. And I thought to myself... this is living... this is why I am here.
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I was also diagnosed in 2010 (July). I think MBJ was diagnosed in 2009.
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I'm another 2010 diagnosis, so these women were my peers. They encouraged me so much, and made it all a little less scary. I'm in a very low spot now after we've lost LJ on the 10th, Suze on the 12th, and now MBJ on the 14th. It's too, too much. I know I'll regain perspective, but I'm very afraid right now. If these women who were diagnosed around the same time as me can be gone despite their knowledge, resources and positivity, what about me? Am I next? (sorry for the pity party)
I think MBJ was diagnosed late in 2009, so just a few months before me.
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LJ -the feedback I've gotten thus far seem to indictae the bench being the most popular. As I stated, the museum quoted me $2500 for it. I will contact the museum and see if we can create some kind of escrow account and, if the donated funds allow, have a bench placed in LJ's garden. I'm hoping to perhaps get some support from those who visit the garden (via a donation box, perhaps?) to those who may want to support a BC cause/memorial. If the donations do not amount to $2500 we can always opt for a birdbath, plaque or other suitable item.
I'm going to post this on LJ's facebook page, as well as her daughters. I will let you all know where to donate when it's all arranged. Hope that meets with eveyone's approval.
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Thanks, Heidi!
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Inmate- You are not selfish. Susan was the first one to PM me when during chemo I was scared because my nodes didn't shrink. Or when I got my lung nodule scare last april,or when I was sad on my son's first day of kindergarden, or when I had good results, or just to talk about our vacations. She always knew what to say and how to say it to make me feel better. I always loved to see the " (1 new)" beside the PMs because I knew it was her and these days I find myself always looking to see that "(1 new)" from her even if I know she will not write to me anymore. I miss her. I miss Laurajane's "good morning all you beautiful ladies" she used to start her posts with. Always put a smile on my face. I miss MBJ's joy and genuine kindness you could feel in her posts. She was full of life, happy.They were all very important to us and it's normal to miss them and remember all the brought to all of us here.
Joinning OBXK in that (((((Group Hug)))))
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Wow...we ladies have been hit hard this past week...I think I hate the month of March...I KNOW I hate cancer..Mary, Suze, Laura,, beautiful ladies...WTF.
Inmate..I'm talking to you now..make sure they ZAP you good damn it...
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My heart just breaks
this is awful to lose 3 amazing woman in just days...On a good note, today I am a 1 year survivor...kinda feel selfish to even think about it.
I hate FC!!!!!
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....now MBJ, oh how I hate this disease. It's sad and unfair. Ccn4pg - your words are very consoling. Thanks for all your posts the past couple of days!
Thank goodness it's rads only for Inmate...our good news for the day.
Heidi, thanks for organizing the bench for LauraJane. What a lovely tribute to her life. I want to help, too.
I need to get in on the group hug tonight because this week's a bit more than I can take.
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Unbelievable. I have no words left.
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Oh no.... So very sad.
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Ksmatthews- great news! Just what we needed. Wishing you many happy returns of the day.
Inmate - No chemo!!!!! Rads were pretty easy for me too - and my center, had great snacks! I also got to ring a bell and got a certificate when I finished. (I'm so not the person who enjoyed that
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