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Calling all TNs

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  • navymom
    navymom Member Posts: 842
    edited March 2013

    OBXK, good luck today.  Hoping for healing on that port scar.

    Welcome to the new gals.  Glad you found us, sad that you even had to look for us.

    I saw my BS for a 6 mo check up on March 4.  Good to go except for some axillary scar tissue.  So I am back in breast PT  for a few sessions.   

    Have a good day everyone.

  • navymom
    navymom Member Posts: 842
    edited March 2013

    How ya doing, LUV?  Been awhile since you stipped in here.

  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2013

    syl58: Just wanted to reply to the very important point you raised about mets. I am not aware of research looking at Lx versus Mx for mets occurence; however, there are plenty of studies that show overall survival for Lx + rads being equivalent Mx (with or without rads)... this clearly relates to mets because as my BS said, "no one dies of cancer in the breast."

    So mets of course are the big worry... and unfortunately the patterns of recurrence for TN show that it is more likely than ER+ BC to recur as mets and in soft tissue. That's why chemo (being systemic to control risk of mets) is such an important part of our treatment. That said, the vast majority of women with TN don't recur - and it's important to remember that!  

    I wish you well with your decision-making and treatment.We're all here for you.

    Karen: Sending a gentle hug today as you go through chemo. 

  • slv58
    slv58 Member Posts: 486
    edited March 2013

    Thanks Karen, there is so much to consider and I admit I am learning a lot. So, if TN is more likely to recur (than other positive BC) as mets, I now understand why even 2% could be a concern. I still have to go through brc testing, and at this point I think it will be the deciding factor. I do want to thank all my TN sisters for providing so much knowledge and support. It is very comforting that I can come here, read, learn and share with others who know exactly what I am going through. I do know that a very agressive rad treatment is planned for me, and honestly that scares me, but I must look at it as my road to recovery. Each step closer to being NED!

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 2,409
    edited March 2013

    Hi NavyMom - just got back from chemo, I've had a bit of a rough time.  I did a couple cycles of carbo and it did absolutely nothing - my tumor markers doubled.  So we switched to gemzar, I had one cycle that affected my blood counts enough that the next week I got a half dose.  Last Wednesday my counts were so bad I needed two units of blood.  I felt lots better after that.  Today's and future treatments will be at 50%.  I do think it is working as the cough I was having is completely gone.  If this works, it will be the first one in a year.  I'm having a scan after this cycle and I'll find out my tumor markers on Friday.

    In the meantime, we are flying to Phoenix next Wednesday night so that DH can meet up with some golf buddies and have some fun.  He deserves it!  I will be hanging out by the pool while he's playing and then we'll get together in the evening for dinner with the guys.

    You gotta love Skype!

  • minxie
    minxie Member Posts: 239
    edited March 2013

    Hey guys, finally hoping back on to catch up and say hello...

    I see there has been a bit of a LX vs MX battle going on... Look at me. I had a lumpectomy, and then a BMX - and I STILL had a local recurrence. You just never know what's going to happen.

    I'm getting my expander #2 taken out and the final implant put in on the 8th. And that better be the last surgery I have for a long long time!

    And I know that only you ladies can appreciate this one... A few days ago I was having a strange feeling in my upper chest, a tightness. I was convinced it was lung mets and frantically began googling all the symptoms... Hmm, none of them seem to match up with what I'm having... And then yesterday, it hit me - both physically and mentally. I have the flu, which my son just had.  So here I am, celebrating the fact I have the flu, because it's not mets. Oy, what a dope I am! Does it ever stop?

  • lrm216
    lrm216 Member Posts: 534
    edited March 2013

    At the end of January, 2013, results were posted in many different journals, papers, etc. about the latest results of mastectomy vs. lumpectomy in early cancers.  If you google same you will find all the abstracts and reports.  They are seeing much less recurrence in those having chose lumpectomy over mastectomy.  I am posting the Medscape report here for all to peruse:

    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/778276

  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 626
    edited March 2013

    Hey minxie: Great to see you here again. Sorry to hear about the flu, but yeah, hooray!

    LRM: Thanks for the info. 

  • Spica16
    Spica16 Member Posts: 71
    edited March 2013

    Minxie - yah to those dopey moments!!!

    I had a cold a few months ago - JUST LIKE EVERYONE I knew - I was just being NORMAL!!!

    I had an even more dopey moment... My hair has grown back and is healthy, but the first time I saw loose strands...OH NO, NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

    DUH - we normally lose about a 100 hairs a day.

    At least we can laugh about it now ~ Shar

  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 521
    edited March 2013

    Evening all!  Late to post, but I had a lumpectomy, didn't know I had TNBC until after the surgery.  Lump was small, no nodes and clear margins.  

    Annie - thanks for all the cute and funny posts!  Hope winter is mild for you!

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    Morning ladies good to see LUV and Minxie posting. 

    All I can say Minxie is thank god for the flu though not something we would normally thank him for!! 

    LUV so sorry you are having a hard time but I am sure this will kick that cancer hard.  Just hang in there girl and enjoy your time away in Pheonix.

    LRM its a bugger about the last paragraph of your post.  Keeping my fingers crossed. 

    Spica my hair is still short.  Not sure I've got enough for 100 hairs to fall out each day lol.

    Karen hope you are ok and your port has healed nicely.  Thinking of you today.

    Onvacation thank god for small lump, no nodes and clear margin.  Great news.

    No cleaning left to do so unsure what to do with myself.  Just don't fancy doing too much today.  Might go and see my old fellar and my daughter at the cafe and try and scrounge lunch.

    Big hugs to all.  Luv Annie   

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    I notice you ladies very seldom talk of housework. Do you all have ladies that come in and do it in the USA.   

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 495
    edited March 2013

    I don't talk housework because I'm not really interested in it. Plus I'm in the fortunate position that I have someone come and clean, just 3 hours every two weeks. Now ironing is another matter. I'm a good ironer and iron every week. That is not typical in the US.

    (But I wish I know how to get rid of the hard water stains on my shower glass.Frown)

  • Hopex3
    Hopex3 Member Posts: 142
    edited March 2013

    Right after my dx, I hired house cleaners. Every other week. They just dust, clean bathrooms and do the floors. It has been a godsend for me. I will never clean another bathroom again!

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    I get a lot of pleasure out of  cleaning.  I just put on my music and clean away.  I always think if something happens to me at least the house is clean for my old fellar even if he is the one who mucks it up.  I'm a tidy person and can get out of bed and it doesn't need making but my old fellars side looks like he played rugby all night. I like ironing as well especially if it comes straight off the washing line and smells so lovely.

    Tell me Gillyone what made you leave your home country and go and live in America 25 years ago was it the English weather?.  

  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 713
    edited March 2013

    cocker - I get a lady to come in every two weeks to vacuum, dust and do the bathrooms - it sure makes life a lot easier. Having said that I don't mind housework, but it does take time and energy which I haven't had too much of lately. 

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    It would be nice I think to come home when I'm tired and weary not to have to think of housework every now and again but I would probably clean up because the cleaner was coming so it sort of defeats the purpose lol.   

  • navymom
    navymom Member Posts: 842
    edited March 2013

    Good to hear from you, LUV. So sorry that you have had a bad time of it.  Glad the cough is getting better.  Enjoy Phoenix.  You should have good weather.  Soak up the sun and enjoy yourself.  My guy loves to golf, too.  I know how, I just don't have a passion for it like he does.

    Housework.....hate it.  I do it, but I hate it.  Some people get great pleasure from cleaning. I just don't.  But with just DH and me in the house, things stay pretty clean.  We both pick up after ourselves and that helps.  Gotta admit that I got him to help me  clean the house a few weeks back by promising a little "fun" later that evening.  Told him that I feel frisky when I see him push the vacuum around....well, lets just say that the house got a good cleaning and things turned out real fine.  Got him to go to the grocery store a few times by saying how much I liked watching him push the cart around, too!   ;)

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    NavyMom LOL.  Just gotta try that.  Might even work in the old fellars case, he's not to old yet.

  • SherylB
    SherylB Member Posts: 147
    edited March 2013

    Hi all,

    I am having my final chemo tomorrow and have the first appt. for workup for rads on 4/1. I hope to start rads 4/8 for 30 treatments. Praying for a uneventful treatment and minimal SEs.

    Hugs to all, Sheryl

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    NavyMom I think he needs to do some vacuuming!!

    MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ... “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now, remember this for the second (or third) time around. It's never too late. If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥ Thank you for reading: Like & Share : NBBC PAGEhttps://www.facebook.com/akhiroprince follow me for my updates :Creator Prince. re posted:

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 495
    edited March 2013

    Sheryl - last chemo is certainly a milestone. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.

    Navymom - that's good!Smile I must admit that since diagnosis DH has come with me on Saturday mornings to do "big shop." I think he was worried about me keeling over or something going through chemo. Oh yes, then I had my boot on for weeks, so driving was tough for a while. And now I think it's just a habit. I do like it though - as I'm not the only one deciding on meals.

    CS - Yeah - first came to the US in 1979 to see my boyfriend (who became DH) who decided to go to grad school here. In the end he stayed and has been a college professor for 26 years. But the weather certainly helped(Smile). Here we have cold and often snowy winters and hot summers, which are not too long. Definitely four distinct seasons.

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 495
    edited March 2013

    I'm glad the days of sharing a bed that size are behind me!

  • OBXK
    OBXK Member Posts: 689
    edited March 2013

    My you ladies have been chatty!



    Here's a little gift for you. If you ever find yourself having a port accessed, when it still has a bitof swelling, from surgery, ask the nurse to use a longer needle, to avoid being stuck twice.



    Luv - so sorry you've had such a tough go, getting your chemo perfected. Hope the gemzar brings your tumor load way down!

    Have fun on your trip!



    NavyMom - you are so smart!



    Annie - I'm doing well, chemo markers look good.



    My one good thing... I had my fav chemo nurse today!



    Thanks for the love!

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    That would have been very brave of you Gillyone to travel overseas 34 years ago on your own.  A young girl going off on her own travelling would have been almost unheard of then so good on you.    

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 495
    edited March 2013

    34 years ago!! Am I that old??

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited March 2013

    Oh might be my adding up, never was good at it.

  • GuyGirl
    GuyGirl Member Posts: 102
    edited March 2013

    cleaningforareason.org offers free professional housecleaning and maid services for women undergoing cancer treatment.  I didn't hear about it until after my treatment.

  • jenjenl
    jenjenl Member Posts: 409
    edited March 2013

    GuyGirl - I checked that out and it was unavailable near my house.  I clean the house after my bad week and before my next treatment (1 more to go, then rads...yay!).  I hate cleaning my house but I had to pic btwn cleaning my house or doing the yard work.  It's hot in NC so I stuck with hiring a lawservice. 

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 495
    edited March 2013

    Nothing wrong with your math CS (unfortunately). I had never been on a plane before, not even out of England before (unless you count Scotland and Wales), and I gave up my job!!! What was I thinking!! I will never forget arriving in the US. I flew Manchester to New York (and saw cops with guns for the first time) and then on to Indianapolis. The plane landed at midnight, it was July, and I had never experienced such humidity in my life when I stepped off the plane. I remember thinking, if it's like this at midnight, what's it going to be like in day time? I soon found out.

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