Calling all TNs
Comments
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Grace- I have twin twelve year old boys and a nine year old daugter so I totally understand how you feel. I have spent a lot of time crying the past year, mostly out of fear for my kids having to go through all this too. I can say that it has gotten better recently but I have just accepted that sometimes I just need to be sad and let it out. I too have had to take ativan to sleep but its not as often as it was. I made a decision to do everything I could to beat this damn disease for my kids sake. Hang in there!
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Hey Gang,
I am going to bed but I just needed to get this out to people who would understand. PLEASE DO NOT THINK I AM A WITCH FOR FEELING THIS, but I need to know how you all deal with things. I do not know Inmate like you all do but my heart breaks for her as well. I know from the little bit of time I have been on here with her she fought with everything she had from what I understand. Here is the part I don't want you all to think I am uncaring (nothing further from the truth) but I am struggling with my own issues and how do you all keep from borrowing someone else's issues. I have been so happy that the chemo worked for me so far and at the same time feel bad sharing that news as I feel for them and fear for me, for when it does not work. After reading about Inmate I had to just get off of the computer for a bit and gather myself because I kept thinking damn this lady has give it all she had and is losing..............Am I wasting my time, my money and etc. with all these treatments. Then I have to jump back and say I am not them and maybe my treatment will work for a long, long time. How do you all not get so sucked up in the sad and the bad?God Bless and Good Night. Please say a prayer for me for tomorrow as I go for my consult with the RO and I also go back to the cardiologist. Thank you ahead of time.
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Stupidboob - stay away from the radiation forum if they're scaring you that badly. Just some honesty. Compared to chemo, radiation was a piece of cake. I did get a pretty nasty burn under my breast, but I have large breasts with a 60 year sag going on. (Large breasts tend to burn more underneath, because the skin on skin keeps the heat in). The rest of the area was just like a good sunburn. My CT does show a small patch of fibrosis in my R lung.......but it hasn't made me miss a cigarette yet! *wink-wink*
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Stupidboob- I too get sad and it reminds me too that even though I had a good response, this stupid cancer can always come back. I hope for the best and if it does come back I will deal with that then. You arent alone in how you feel.
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graceforme welcome. You are so very scared yes, but you will get through this just like we did. You will fight like hell for those boys of yours and in the blink of an eye it will all be behind you and on the road to recovery. Time goes quickly believe me but you will get through it. Whatever you need to know just ask because we are all here for each other. This post is from the biggest wus in the world but even I got through it.
Stupidboob you are scaring yourself so much. Rads for me was literally a walk in the park. Mine is on the left side as well and they do everything possible to miss your heart believe me. Just like Kayak2 I had no problems whatsoever. No tiredness, no burning, no pain just a little bit of redness right at the end of my 25 rads. I was told it may affect just the tip of the lungs but like Kathy I haven't given up smokes either. For some reason my hands just take one out of the packet without my knowing about it, funny that.
OBX you crack me up. It would take three bottles of merlot and 50 ativan before I would rescue Aunt Pats vase but I would rescue my smokes and my dogs and of course the old feller.
Inmate - my heart is so very very sad at this news. You have fought with all you have and stayed so brave all the way through. Your courage and fortitude has never failed to amaze me. There was nothing you didn't try and Jazzy2 says it all. I will hold you in my prayers each and every day and hope that God hears them for you. Always in my heart. Love you Inmate. xxxx
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Stupidboob- You are not being a bitch at all. Last night I had a really good cry with the scary thoughts of what coulb be. I too have left BCO for quite some time after I completed treatment, but have come back now and then to say "hi" and check in with the gals that went through treatment the same time I did, and get to know the newbies.
I will always keep up the fight and encourage others to NEVER say I can't or why should I. I have a another warrior sister that I met on here. 29 years old diagnosed stage IV from the get-go the same day I was. She is such a fighter like Dawn, going through treatment once again, all the while living her life to it's fullest. I guess what I am saying is, we ALL have those thoughts of what-if's, why me, scared shitless and shutting down mentally. If you did not have htese thoughts and feelings I would say you need help. (((HUgs)))
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Just popped on to catch up and ended up shedding a few tears -
Karen: I hope to hell that protein is found and you can begin the immune therapy as soon as possible; and to
Inmate: Along with love and special fondness for all you have given to all of us throughout your struggles with this rotten disease, I wish your journey to be full of peace, serenity and the warmth and security of many loving arms to shelter you each step of the way.
Love to you all,
Linda
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Prayers and tears for sweet, wonderful, inspiring Dawn. The lives that are touched by her generosity and support have truly been enriched by her.
Karen, so excited to learn of that very specific testing. That sounds excellent, please update us when you know more!
I read an article recently that said there could be as many as 6 very specific subsets of TNBC. In your case, with the ability to identify a certain proteiin in your tumor and targeting that with a very specific drug, sounds amazing! I'm so happy for you, I hope you get more good news sooon!
Have a nice holiday everyone!
Peace, love and happiness.
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Jan....wow....scary stuff these fires are.....seems so many bad things happen...hard to look for the good sometimes
Worry wart....se's of adriamycyin....hmm...realize everyone is different...it wasn't too bad for me...just felt different than before...kinda out of it...(tho no one else noticed..lol)....I remember not sleeping very well...also very thirsty....a little pukey feeling but took the meds and i was fine...
Karen...wishing you well..
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Dawn, you touched my heart from the very beginning. When you shared the photos your husband took, well that just sealed the deal.
Phyllis0 -
Thanks for the good wishes. I will keep you updated.
Stupidboob - well honey, you are being a stupidboob. Stop fretting. You will be seeing the radiology oncologist very often when you are in treatment. If you have concerns, they are onsite. Stay away from threads that only have post from people who have had problems!!!!
Annie - are you sure your arms wouldn't be too full for Chloe
just kidding - I know you love that tin can chewing, furniture ripping dog. 0 -
Just a little update: No smoke, helicopters, or wind today. Looks like we were spared again this time. Too many people and homes lost to these wild fires. Now we worry about the crazy neighbors and fireworks.
Hope everyone has a safe 4th.
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Karen my arms might be too full for Chloe if I take Aunt Pat's vase. Do I don't I, do I don't I. Oh well suppose Aunt Pat's vase wins!!!!
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Hello ladies (and gents!)
Just to introduce myself, I'm an ex-Brit, living now in Calgary, Alberta.
Please see my profile below for full diagnosis details. I too have felt somewhat excluded in threads with hormone or her2 receptor positive people, so it is nice to be with people of the same diagnosis, even though I have no idea what "subset" I am!
I swing wildly from supreme optimism to low, low, low! I've just finished chemo, so generally my mood has been quite good this week, but then I read of somebody diagnosed with stage 4, or succumbing to this evil disease, and it fills me with fear and despondency.
Other people have remarked on that sense of always being in the wrong end of the percentages, and when I'm "feeling down" that is where I am. Often it is not with a huge sense of panic, more of sadness and resignation, but don't get me wrong, I'm still out and about, singing with my wonderful Sweet Adeline friends, working out when I am able or at least taking a walk.
My chemo se have been mostly tolerable, though I hit a low point on AC, when I developed dvt/pe in March, since when I've been on daily Lovenox injections!
Well enough blurb. I've been posting on this site for a little while, on the DIEP thread (though not there yet), the weekly taxol thread, and the Canadian thread.
Pleased to "meet" you all!
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Welcome Moreenna, your feelings are true and they are yours. This is a difficult diagnosis. it's okay to be frightened and insecure.
Just follow yourvtrestmentbplan and try your best to move forward. Don't let this disease cast a long shadow. Move forward and enjoy your life. Please don't let fear, rob you of the joy of living. Practice living in the moment. Wishing you all the love, support and courage you need.0 -
Graceforme - welcome. Don't be afraid to ask anything. This is a place of love and support.
Now if you'll all excuse me, I need to go curl up in a ball and cry for awhile (Lory48 , thank you so much for the update, Inmate has been on my mind for several days)
Dearest Dawn, you are the bravest of warrior women I know. You won, because I know this disease never beat your soul. I thank you for all the kindness and humor you shared. I wish you peace and gentleness on your journey.
Love you
Kathy0 -
So very sorry to hear the news about Dawn (Inmate) - I am keeping her in my heart and in my prayers. I hope that she and her family find peace and comfort in their journey and know that all of her sisters on this site hold her gently in our arms. She is such a brave and caring person and has been a source of inspiration to us all.
With Love,
Doreen
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For our Dawn. She loved cats. xx
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Thankyou Karen for your most gracious welcome, especially as I have read a few pages and know the place you yourself are in.
I'm so sorry to read that you have all just received bad news about your friend and sister Dawn. I've no wish to intrude on your grief, but look forward to getting to know you all over the coming months (or years even?)
In harmony,
Rose0 -
This is for NavyMom
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Oh Cocker! You brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for that sweet post. Navyson and his little family have been in to to visit this past week. Been a bit(understatement) emotional for DH and me. Went to church on Sunday and the service was centered around being an American and patriotism....Cried there too.
Welcome to the newbies. Glad you found a soft place to land here on the TN thread. Hang on, because things move fast on this site!
Love and Hugs to all.
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morwenna...welcome to a fellow (?) Canuck.
I too just recently found this thread...I also had PE caused from the DD AC. I finished the third treatment but my MO said NO MORE and I went to 12 weekly Taxols with so SEs.
I injected myself daily with Fragmin for 6 months. The Hematology Oncologist was convinced the PE was a direct cause of the AC. It's been over a year since I finished with the shots and I have been fine, albeit still a little short of breath at times. Did you have a lung CT scan at the time?
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Dawn - dearest warrior princess... you have been such an amazing inspiration on these boards (your avatar says it all) and a true friend. At this stage in your journey, I wish you and your family many gentle, peaceful, cherished moments, wrapped up by the love that you all so richly share.
And to Karen... your posts here are always so thoughtful, informed and heart-warming... how do you do it with all that you have been going through? I so admire your strength. Sending you warm hugs and good thoughts for whatever comes next.
To Morwenna and other newbies, welcome! This is occasionally a difficult place to be... but also an invaluable source of ideas, knowledge, support and friendship.
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Lush -I can only "like" your post. As always you express the thoughts of many of us so eloquently. Special thoughts to Inmate and OBXK both facing difficult times.
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My heart is breaking for Inmate and her family. She has fought so bravely and with good spirit throughout. I hope she is comfortable and soaking up her family's love.
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Reading these threads is like a roller coaster ride, so many ups and downs. My heart breaks for Dawn. I hope she finds peace in knowing her legacy has helped so many others. I'v come to appreciate the honesty of the posts here.By no means do I give up hope, however it is important for us all to realize what could happen so we can prepare for the future, and hopefully that would inturn give us peace of mind.
I have been given some glimmer of hope by my MO this week. I'm on Xeloda, and so far it seems to be holding the tumors steady.We cant tell if there is any shrinkage, but there does not seem to be any growth. this done by palpation. So, she thinks I should stay on the meds for 6 more weeks, get a PET, and if good,have my tumors excised. She said there is a possibility of a cure, not necessarily probable, but possible.
So as I ride this "high", I have trepidation about getting too hopeful. How do the rest of you deal with the ups and downs? After dealing with the recurrence so soon after rads, when I thought I was having such a positive result, I find it really hard to let my hopes get too high... Don't want to go through that falll again.
I hope all of you had an enjoyable Independence Day. Fireworks going off like crazy in my neighborhood. My poor pup is hiding under the bed....
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Cocker..that kitty looks just like one of mine...we adopted a kitten 2 weeks ago...named him Angus....he keeps us busy...nothing like having a kitten around....
Welcome Morwenna..love that hame
And there you go again Gilly...calling Luah a Lush...lol
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I just finished treatment and right now I am NED which Im grateful for but it is always in the back of my mind that the stupid cancer could come back. I am trying to focus on telling myself that it wont and that works part of the time. Then I read about someone like our lovely Inmate and my heart breaks and I get scared for her, myself and all of us really. The roller coaster has always been my most hated ride, now I know why.
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Welcome Morwenna. Don't ever feel like you're intruding. We're not happy that you have to join this sisterhood, but we're glad you found us. This is a place to come for both the good and the bad days. This is where we can talk openly with people who are on the same journey and understand.
To all the Newbies, please don't ever be shy to jump into the conversation. *mixes martini's for everyone*0 -
Luah, so sorry for the stupid autocorrect. Titan, stop laughing at me:)
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