Calling all TNs
Comments
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Beachbound-- no one has the right to ever say anything about your cancer except for your Dr's and you.
When my SIL told me my cancer was just a bump in the road of life, I almost slapped her. Instead I started laughing and told her she was an imbecile. I am the only one who can diminish the severity and anyone else who has suffered through the same EXACT cancer. The thought of what your neighbor said makes my blood boil!0 -
Julie I forgot to add that I was told I was in full blown menopause to but I have had a couple periods since then, so don't trust that to much......:)
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It that happened to me I would tell those imbeciles "Piss off or you might catch it" !! because they are so fecken ignorant they would'nt know they couldn't.
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Thanks ladies. As much as I hate to admit it, she has caused me so much anger and stress. I was cooking dinner tonight when the doorbell rang. My DH answered the door and it was Crazy asking to talk to me. Luckily, he did not let her in and told me she wanted to talk. I said NO. Tell her I'm busy with dinner. He came back in a few minutes later and said she was crying and very apologetic. I said Good for her, I still don't want to talk to her and have no desire to ever talk to her. Good for her for realizing she's an idiot and was completely insensitive with what she said but I have no desire to talk to her. She can go cry to someone who cares. Now....I need to relax so I can sleep before my surgery in the morning. Good night ladies!
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This ones for you Kath. I can just see you (and your poor mum hanging on for dear life) flying to get your chemo. You make my day every time you come on here lol
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beachbound, I guess crazy neighbor had time to sober up and realize what an insensitive moron she is...ugh. I hope your port surgery and chemo goes well.
Julie-I want to say that your attitude is inspiring but I don't know if that would be something stupid to say. Sometimes people will say things to me like "you're so strong" or " I admire your strength" and I just think that I didn't sign up for this or what other option is there. Little do these people know that I'm really not ok and that I cry in the shower or when my kids are asleep. Anyhow, as someone who is really struggling to get through this (really bad), I really do admire your strength and positive attitude. I am reluctant to post anything because I feel that I'm unable to articulate my thoughts but I've been following this thread and I've really been moved by you.0 -
Grace, your remarks are very sweet, and you likely aren't able to say something stupid. Something stupid comes from someone who doesn't realize they provide more fear and instill more insecurities in someone dealing with a health condition, vs them saying something nurturing and positive. Someone inspiring us is very nurturing and positive! Sometimes these remarks are from others who have a negative outlook on life in general, and it comes through in their negative statements.
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Kathy - what a day! Hope you and mom made it through in one piece.
Julie - I live in the humid south - I just rocked the bald look too.
Beach - inhale, release, repeat. Now wash an Ativan down with a nice Merlot
best wishes to you.0 -
Beachbound....we are surrounded by some jacka**es at times. Don't waste your time or energy on that piece of crap....just let her be. Stay focused and positive. Her opinion does not matter...she doesn't pay ur bills. And to all the other great ladies here....just stay strong and be positive.
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Beachbound, good luck with surgery tomorrow, will be in my prayers.
Grace, you are so sweet. There are times when I am overwhelmed by my current situation, but I don't want to waste time sulking and feeling sorry for myself. I have too much to live for and do. I'm really glad you posted, made my day! ;P Nothing shared here amongst sisters is stupid or dumb, just express yourself freely, nobody here is going to judge you. We are all one, sisters in this fight to live and prosper and thrive!
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grace: I'm sure most of us can relate to your haunting words about "crying in the shower or after the kids are in bed." So true. I really felt that beyond the surgical scars, radiation burns and bald head, the toughest reality of breast cancer was that it was an isolating experience... tears I cried alone, fears I faced alone. Even with a supportive family and friends, I felt that, acutely at times.... maybe that's why this board is so valuable.
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Luah and Grace...I too cry a lot and then I'm ashamed when I read one of Julies or others posts that are so positive. I cry at the dumbest things too (every freakin Cheerios commercial lately is so sweet) and I'm blaming a little of it on me being told to cold turkey so I'm dealing with hot flashes and all those hormone issues too.
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Crying story, I lost it today, I too am human! I was so hungry and ended up eating lunch at 2pm. I went to my 11th radiation treatment today. My mom drove me, she insisted we get gas when we were late to begin with. We stopped for gas and got to my treatment late, so I got pushed back 2 people. Was starting to get hungry. Had to stop by 2 places to run errands. I asked her to stop and let's get a burger or something cause I was starving. She said, no cause it's bad for me! I was like, oh no what's gonna happen to me, I might get cancer, hello I already have it! So we drove all the way home and I was starving and mad! As soon as I got home, I ran to the kitchen and took out everything I could get my hands on.
I asked my mom to heat up some pork belly in the microwave and she said I'll heat it on the stove. ARE U KIDDING ME! I'm dying of hunger and you're worried about microwave safety! I just ate it cold! I started shoving my face with everything in sight.
My big bro came into the kitchen with my dad and asked y I didn't eat anything in LA after treatment. I just lost it! I started crying and chewing, and choking, and crying! I was so mad at my mom for not letting me have a damn burger! I was mad that she kept delaying me from eating! My brother was like how old are u, but he didn't understand what I endured all day, starting with delayed treatment, very late lunch. I was blowing my nose, crying, chewing, screaming, coming up for some air, then crying again, blowing my nose, then chewing, choking, swallowing, on and on and on. I finally finished eating and had to leave again to pick up my daughters at school since my oldest has a orthodontist appt. Almost didn't have time to eat at all. I held it together before leaving to get the kids, don't need them to stress watching their mom bawling cause she was hungry! What a day!0 -
Julie - so sorry you had such an unpleasant day. Wishing you a better tomorrow and that you are able to sneak some nabs in your purse
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Feeling much better now, thanks all! Picked up my daughter from school with my dad this time, he's more rational and will let me eat a burger! We took Olivia, my 10 yr old to get her braces. I think my brother felt bad for me cause he called me and told me to have dinner in LA near the orthodontist, so my dad, daughter, and I went to out favorite Korean soup restaurant and I ate a bowl and a half of the yummiest tongue soup money could buy. For dessert, we got Mc D ice cream cones, so happy now!
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Today's declaration: I will enjoy my meals without any tears! I will have fun with my kids cause there's no school today, Jewish holiday, and we're not even Jewish, yes!
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If your are taking steroids, read this! This is a post from one of my friends on Nov2011 chemo thread. To explain why I went ballistic yesterday from hunger. Very interesting and true.
13 hours ago, edited 12 hours ago by GrandmaV
Julie, This sounds like it may be a symptom of steroid psychosis (sometimes referred to as roid rage). That's why I said earlier, I was glad they were cutting your steroids slowly. Maybe its not slow enough. That's what happened to me. I cried and acted totally irrational for weeks. Plus, you're getting carboplatin, which crosses the blood brain barrier, which is great to fight the cancer, but it messes with some brain cells too. And you're getting brain radiation. A triple whamy. It is not your fault you reacted this way. It is medical induced and a side effect of your treatments. If you have this kind of side effect you can no more control it than you can nausea when it's a side effect. I'm sure once your family knows this, they'll be more understanding. And you'll feel better knowing this is not your fault and temporary. My doctor put me on amitriptyline, which according to the information I research is the wrong kind of antidepressant for this kind of reaction. Here's a link that explains it better: (paragraph 3 has some of the symptoms and a treatment that has helped others) Keep fighting those cancer cells. You're doing great.
www.drrichardhall.com/steroid.htm
Here's his NCBI abstract:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/43...
It's old information but still applicable.0 -
Good Morning Everyone,
Went to Lacrosse,Wisconsin, which is where my kids live. My middle daughter has a lot of health problems...went to Dr. appt with her. She doesn't have cancer, but continues to loose weight. She weighs 86 pound, and they don't know why....she also has extreme anxiety, with panic attacks. She is a mess, and I don't know how to help her other than love here....and will pray for her.
I just want to say that I sooo appreciate how honest everyone is. Some sisters feel inadequate and alone with their sadness....but by writing about this on this thread, truely helps others who feel the same. Helping others doesn't always mean giving the perfect advice....
Relocate....what you wrote about crying constantly....that was me too, I cried everyday for two weeks straight after my dx. When I started chemo, I felt so awful, I too would cry over everything. When people were kind, I would cry, I cried soo much and would call my sister. She was so patient and loving, and she just let me express my pain....I had my phone in the bathroom, and was taking a bath, and just broke down..and then called my sister as I sat in the tub....
I am better now, not where I want to be, but don't cry everyday anymore....it is hard to be faced with dx of cancer....plain and simple, and everyone deals with it in there own way....Julie, your description of your pain was so real....I could picture you eating and crying, blowing your nose.....wished that steroid didn't have that side effect. My Dr. decreased it for me, I told him all I think about was food....I was never full...
I love reading everyones posts...it just gives me so much strength.....Have a good day...
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I read bits & pieces on this thread as I can. I just wanted to say " I LOVE THIS THREAD"!!!!!! Thank you ALL for your Heart, Soul, & everything else in between!
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Lori and Julz no problem, where else would we express ourselves freely without being judged. We are all one and can relate to each other cause we are sisters in this fight!
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UPDATE on LuvRVing (Michelle):
Hi ladies,
Once again I'm afraid I have some bad news to report about my mom. Yesterday the doctors at Dana Farber told my parents that it might be time to stop treatment. Mom has continued to decline, despite the Avastin and Navelbine, and they are feeling that she is beyone their ability to help. Mom is not emotionally ready to stop fighting, but she seems to be coming to terms with the reality of the situation.
She did receive treatment yesterday. They are going to Marco Island (FL) this weekend along with my aunt. When they return, she will have some scans. Unless the scans show regression, and her symptoms do not indicate that that will be the case, I believe they will stop treatment.
I spoke to the doctor out of earshot from my parents. I asked her how much time mom has. She said that her decline has been swift, and she expects that it will be a couple of months at the most. I am so sorry to have to share this terrible news with you all, but I want you to be able to send her your thoughts and love, and there is not much time.
Mom isn't able to get online. My dad has started to look at her Facebook account occassionally, and he is checking her email for her. If you would like to send a message, you can email her at mchall6252@comcast.net. If you would like to send her a card/letter, you can mail it to Michelle Hall, 7 Digital Dr, Apt 7109, Nashua, NH 03062.
Please keep in mind, if you choose to contact them, that they are still struggling with the idea of stopping treatment.
Christine
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Looking good Naan! I'm SO glad you were able to spend fun time with your kids and friends over the weekend. I know that just meant the world to you! Surgery went fine. I'm in some pain but its better now that I can take some Advil with my pain meds. It helps with the spasms. My DH was a sweetie last night and disappeared into the night to retrieve a blizzard for me from Dairy Queen. It made my night!
Christine - I am so sorry about the decline of your mom. You and your family will be in my prayers.0 -
Beachbound, can u ask your hubby to bring me a blizzard too, I can use one right now!
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Christine, thank u so much for updating us on her behalf, u and your family are in my prayers. Hang in there!
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Oh Christine, if you happen to see our messages, please let Michelle know that we are thinking of her. I am quite saddened by the report, things seemed to have changed so much in a short amount of time. Such a heavy heart today learning of this. Will continue to pray and keep her and all of you in our thoughts. Much love to all of you. xoxo
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Ladies, I let Michelle's daughter know that we are doing a card shower for her. She has posted her current address so if you have yet to send your card, please do so. As Christine said, please keep in mind that stopping treatment is a sensitive issue for her.
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Naan - way to rock the new 'do! You still look so sweet!!
Crying, especially at the silliest things, is part of the reaction to the chemo and steroids. I'm talking about crying during normal things, not just relating to the diagnosis. I remember crying and becoming very emotional at very typical things such as a commercial, a picture of someone, etc. I read somewhere online that the intense emotions do come with the type of treatment, and once I realized that I was able to get a better handle on them. I remember I bought my husband a very cool gift for christmas and I cried when I ordered it. I knew it was something he would truly enjoy, and I started crying. LOL
Before my dx, I cried for 2 weeks in the bathroom each night. I felt it was the women's intuition that something must be wrong. It consumed me and I finally made an appointment. I would check lump location in there and then sit on the toilet and start crying. Every night until I finally told my Mom and a friend and they convinced me to make an appointment.
The day I got the call about my diagnosis was the biggest day I felt alone, and the very next day was about the same. At the moment of the call, it was the ultimate worst feeling ever in the world. 36 hours later I met my surgeon, and from the moment he walked into the room, I knew I would be okay. It was the turning event for me, and from there I didn't think about anything but getting to all the appointments, learning what I could and preparing for surgery, which was schedule for just 5 days later.
It's upsetting to see Michelle at such a crossroads in her path of fighting TNBC. Let's all stay strong and continue to fight next to her and with her.
Love you all!
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Have any of you ladies had hip and/or lower back pain caused by chemo? My mom finished treatment July 2012, and has been having a lot of hip pain and sciatic pain. I keep telling her to go get a bone scan, but she hasn't yet. It's freaking me out. Hoping it's all caused by lingering affects of chemo.
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Hi all, just dropping by to let you know that I am now 4 years out of treatment at the end of this month. 5 years is now looking very doable. My fondest positive thoughts are with you all.
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LNBCA: My Onc told me that some chemo treatments bring on arthritis, especially if it brings you to menopause. Also, after my chemo I couldn't walk up our stairs, or if we sat too long at a restaurant I couldn't get up and walk out without looking hunched over and stiff (at age 43). It cleared up after several months. I finished treatment in April, still had it when I started exercising in July, and after about 3 more months (Oct) it dramatically subsided. My BS also made sure I was taking D3 (helps keep the calcium absorbed), and he said some medicines can deplete the calcium. So make sure she is on a good D3 supplement - as always check with your Onc before starting something new.
Also - You might put a call in to her Onc and let them know about her pain/sciatica.
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