Calling all TNs
Comments
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stupidboob...never feel bad for your own feelings. We have all been in the pit of dispair along the way and know that it can hit anyone of us at anytime during any part of treatment. Let me first say that you are still in active treatment so you need to give yourself a break on the eating right/ exercise. It did not hit me until May of this year...almost 2 years after diagnosis that I was able to even think about the way I eat or how much I exercise in a day. While I was in tx I ate what I wanted and slept/layed around when I wanted. I do that now but have developed the "desire" to make life changes that will benefit me. I have lost 18 pounds since then and still allow myself the indulgences along the way including my red wine that is something that I Will Not give up anytime soon as it calms me down. Stop beating yourself up about what you eat or how active you may be. Treatment is exhausting enough without those things to worry about. I have read too many times about ladies who run marathons battling this beast so I personally do not believe that our lifestyle in itself "gave" us cancer. Strength and hugs to you darling. Big fat hugs to all the TN sisters!
Maggie
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Stupidboob, don't be too sad, I know that just the fact that we have cancer is overwhelming, but there are people like me. I had breast cancer dx 10/2011 Stage 2 triple negative, went through the whole chemo, surgery, radiation, then I got mets now am Stage 4. I'm not worried, I have all of you to support and pray for me. I have an awesome new medical team. I have friends and family all over the world thinking and praying for me, how awesome is that! I don't even know half these people, but they are willing to just take time out of their busy schedule and pray for little old me. I believe in God having miraculous healing powers and I believe in my motiviation to live no matter what! I have 2 little girls and a husband who doesn't cook, I'm not leaving my husband to make cereal for my girls for the rest of their childhood, please! I will make it, you will make it, we will all make it, cause we are strong, we are women, God put us on this earth to procreate. I always tell my friends, if my husband was to have a baby, after the first day of morning sickness, he would be in tears begging the Dr to just end it all! Men are such big babies. I had 2 c-sections, and had my tubes tied, my husband was such a woose, he woulldn't even get a simple vasectomy! He was like, you are having surgery anyway, so you do it, what a woose!
Hang in there baby! If I can think positively in my current situation, u can too. I had 2 wks of brain radiation so far and have 2 wks left before a repeat brain MRI, have been praying and seems to be working that all my brain tumors disappear magically and the onc would say, you sure u had tumors, cause I can't see a single one left! I had this huge lump on the back of my head, and I can literally feel it melting away, God is Good! That would be awesome! I also started chemo last Thurs, the first of 3, then I get one week of (for good behavior ;P), then another cycle of 3 wks and one week off. My new onc considered that since I was having radiation on top of chemo to lower the dose making it so much more mangeable. Plus, by now I'm a pro when it comes to preventing SE's, been there done that. I know what to watch out for, what to do, not to do, so this time's chemo is a breeze for me, I think I might Ace this one!
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Stupidboob, it's ok to have bad days too, I'm human and I will be having some bad days too, but this is a very safe place to let it all go!! Free your mind!!! You can cry here, you can laugh here til you pee, some of us have literally done this! This a great place to vent, rant, rave, I love it here! Nobody will judge you and if they do, tell me who they are and I'll track them down and make them apologize! It's worse to hold it all in, too much stress, it's bad enough we have cancer don't want to add to that!
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Made it 3 years and still fighting ladies!!! Everyday is a different struggle, but the fear doesn't consume me as much as it did at first. The family and me celebrated at the beach. I am so thankful for everything that I use to take for grant.
Naan, no worries. Sending well wishes your way. As maggie said, YOU WILL BEAT THIS!!
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Hello - I have taken quite a break from BC.org because I wanted to not think about cancer but I have been reading your posts and they are so from the heart.....I have TNBC as well. I had a BMX and chemo that ended in January and DIEP Flap reconstruction on June 7th. I have been told by my entire medical team that I shouldn't worry, tumor was small, you caught it early and my margins were very good. I sit here on the eve of finding out the results of my 3 biopsies in a totally weird emotional state. I am not a fool to think my cancer could not come back but my breast surgeon is absolutely shocked that I potentially have a localized recurrance in my lymph nodes. I seriously want to scream F cancer every 5 minutes. This is not what I expected 13 months after my initial BMX.
Naan, you are the reason I am posting. i see you are positive and helping others along in this process.
Can anyone give me any indication of what the process is if I should have these tests come back positive? I am being very positive about the situation but I can't help wonder what is next should the news not be what I would want.
Hugs to all!!
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Julie thank you so much for the info. I have written it down and will ask the doctor tomorrow. You have a GREAT attitude and I will be looking back at it when needed. I would not be as strong as you in that situation.
Maggie that is what I keep telling myself that women who exercise daily and keep a healthy weight are fighting the same thing as I am. I have some heart issues and this time chemo messed with it bad and I guess that is another thing that has me thinking overboard. You are right though I just need to go easy on myself until treatment is over. Thank you0 -
That's what I like about this board...we support each other and say what we want to say...if it is the passing of one our friends, mets. or losing 3 fingernails..we are here for each other...its very cool. It is very hard to face one of us dying or getting mets...but you know..it is also reality...
I disliked the pitying looks when I was first diagnosed and figuring out how to let people know...I just wanted people to treat me the same as before..
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I feel guilty all the time that I'm not eating right and exercising, I keep telling myself that once the chemo is done I'll jump on the healthly lifestyle wagon - but in fact I am a relaxer at heart and I like to eat and bake for my family, my head's so screwed up I think if I don't jump on the healthy wagon and the cancer comes back that it would be my fault for not trying. I'm still pretty ignorant when it comes to understanding my diagnosis, I guess i've been trying to focus on getting the cancer out and chemo rather than what the hell caused it!
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Julie - your weekend sounds wonderful!
Annie - I felt a sense of fullness in the area of my liver and had random quick stabbing pain.
I don't think I'd worry too much about the spots. Educate yourself on skin Mets, if that's your worry. From what I remember reading, it is like a grain of rice under the skin, along your scar.
Hugs to all.0 -
Ladies... just checking in. I am also 3 years out as of yesterday! Doing very well.. still nervous when I go in for check ups, but that'll probably never change. Celebrating in Mackinac Island (pretty cold here actually).
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Angelisa - thank you for sharing your good news.
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Hello ladies, guess what? My hair started falling out in chunks today. I had chemo last Thurs, 4 days ago. I'm amazed at how fast my hair started falling out! This is great news! No hair = chemo working! Yes!!!!!! My hair grew back after chemo, so no worries! I had my beautician (sister-in-law), cut and shave it all off.
The first time I had chemo, the onc recommended I shave it off, so I did and I'm glad he did cause would've been crying all the time if I saw my beautiful at the time very long hair fall out in chunks. Stubble loss doesn't bother me.
Right now I live in a region of CA called the valley where the tempts are a little, ok a lot warmer than LA area by at least 20 degrees. It's been in the 90s and 100s here, so not gonna miss my hair there too. I also have chemo induced menopause, yes it was confirmed with blood test of hormones by my onc, he said you are right smack in the middle of it, so not even beginning. I get hot flashes or maybe it's the tempts here, but anyways the AC better be on all night or I can't sleep. I am usually a person who is just hot in body tempt so add menopause, current weather tempts, u get the picture!
My friends and family complemented me on my baldness before cause I have a pretty nice shaped head, I can rock this style. I kind of want to walk around commando style and see how people react. I think I'm pretty sexy looking bald! That's my opinion, u gals can judge as soon as I figure out how to post new pics. For my parent's sake maybe i'll wear a hat in front of them. It's so hot out though! ugh! I hate summer chemo! I don't like wigs either, too hot and itchy!
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Hey Julie...I have not posted much but I have been following your posts. I like your outlook....my MO always says thats how it should be....positive all the way. I am rocking the bald look right now, so you go girl....rock that baldie too. Throw caution and that wig in the bin. Be proud of that bald head and wear it not just for you but for all the other folks who are fighting this war. It is our uniform
God Bless you my dear.0 -
Hello Dear Sisters,
I've only had a chance to do a quick glance at the thread, but I want to let you know that you have all been in my thoughts and prayers.
This "milder and easier" chemo has kicked me in the ass for this first month (from the woman who sailed her first chemo).
As always it's "I've got good news, I've got bad news" The good news was the biopsy on Leftie was benign but they'll recheck in 6 mo. The bad news is the biopsy site got infected. In the middle of this Mom got sick and had to go to the hospital for a week. I was also sick. There was a debate in the ER by the doctor who needed to be admitted more. I will tell you if I hadn't packed some Depends for Mom, that I ended up having to steal, it would have been UGLY!!!
Last week I thought we were heading into better waters when Mom took a fall and injured her shoulder. She is now totally dependent and requires constant care. Today, I'm working on trying to see about the hoops I have to go through to get her into rehab. (Please don't even ask about how helpful the VNA is. She had VNA services order for ASAP on Friday, and on Sunday I had to call and ask when they were coming. Weren't gonna come till Tuesday till I whipped out my broom).
So ladies, please know I think of you every day, and I'll catch up on everyone as soon as I come up for breath.
If someone can post a note on any important news I've missed, I'd greatly appreciate it.
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*comes back laughing* Oh I forgot, my Mom's caregiver has called in sick and I have Chemo today. I'm going to have to drag an injured, barely mobile poor old lady to chemo with me today, in order to be able to get my treatment. It ain't pretty here right now. *exits laughing*
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Fighter, Angelisa: Congrats on your milestones, ladies. We need to be reminded sometimes (often) how many women go on, living their lives away from these boards, healthy and hopeful for the future.
To all those in treatment, hugs. Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up about diet or exercise. Best thing, just try to get out for a brisk 20-minute walk on those days when you feel well. That is one small thing that will help, physically and emotionally.
Kathrynn: Sorry for all that you're going through, but good to know the biopsy was benign.
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I don't post often but always check in on my fellow TN sisters. Just wanted to share that I was diagnosed three years ago on Labor Day weekend. What a difference this Labor Day weekend! My DD and I went to see Keith Urban in concert at Red Rocks (beautiful outdoor amphitheater in Colorado) on Friday night. He brought a girl up on stage from our row that is a breast cancer patient and she pulled her wig off on stage, much to everyone's surprise. Keith kissed her head and talked about living in the now. The timing was crazy as I was thinking a lot about what I've done since being diagnosed on this anniversary weekend. My family and I went out of town for the rest of the weekend and went hiking to a beautiful lake on Sunday. I feel so lucky to live in this incredible state. Also watched college football and drank too much beer
All in all, it was a perfect weekend. And I can't wait for NFL to kick off Thursday (in Denver!! Go Broncos!). It's just so nice to be enjoying these moments again. To those of you still fighting, I think and pray for you everyday!
Kathy
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Kathy, there are quite a few of us that have hit the 3 year mark in the last week or so! Congrats to us all!
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Una, yeah, I was so gonna walk my girls to school commando, but they insisted on a hat, so I had to back down, but when they're not looking, I'm gonna go for it, it's too hot for a hat! Thanks, and God bless you too!
Kathy, OMG, u have so much on your plate, wish I was there so I could babysit mom, while you get treatment, where do you live? I'm in CA, are we even close? You poor thing, but I really can't hep but to laugh at the whole situation. You made my morning, thanks! LMAO! Not at you, with you! Congrats on the biopsy being benign, yay!
KSteve, that is awesome, wish I was there to witness the show, wow, he is a cool cat!
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Hi Ladies. I need to vent for a moment. I had a biopsy in June that resulted in a local recurrence of TNBC via a skin met on my breast. I had the final boost of my 33 radiation treatments on 8/26 and I will start chemo again on Monday but before that, I’ll have surgery tomorrow morning for another port (I had mine removed after my first chemo in 2012). I’ve researched my options for hours, met with my MO multiple times and had a MO consult in Atlanta to arrive at the decision of doing chemo. Now that you’re up to speed on my situation….I must complain about my crazy next door neighbor. I was outside yesterday and she stumbled over (quite intoxicated) and asked how I was. Here is our conversation:
Crazy: How are you?
Me: Good
Crazy: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, just a little tired. I’m starting chemo on Monday.
Crazy: Why?
Me: Because I have cancer?!
Crazy: Well, I know a guy that went that extra step with treatment and died.
Me: Thank you but I really don’t want to talk about this.
Crazy: Well, why are you doing chemo? It might kill you. Don’t do it.
Me: I’m doing chemo to save my life and I’m not going to stand here and talk about this. This is not what I need a week before I start treatment. I’m sorry that guy died but that’s a negative subject and I will not discuss this with you.
Needless to say, I stormed into the house and slammed the door. How DARE her?!?!? She knows NOTHING about my cancer. She knows NOTHING about what I’ve done to ensure I receive the best treatment possible. I’m so DISCUSTED by her. Who says something like that? I know I shouldn’t let her ignorance bother me but I’m still fuming 24 hours later. Maybe I’m directing my anger at her instead of letting myself be scared. I don’t know. I knew you all would understand my anger, as I’m sure each of you have been presented with ignorant statements at one time or another. Thank you all for providing a safe place to vent. There are some things others just can’t understand.
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Beachbound, do we live on the same block? I have a nutty neighbor, too, just like yours.
Carol
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We may Carol. LOL!
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Beachbound, I'm gonna need her address, of this idiotic neighbor of yours, I need to go over and slap some sense into that senseless thing she carries above her body! OMFG! I can't believe her, what a biatch! OMG, address! Address! Ugh! Ignorant, pathetic of a want to be human thing she is, I need to slap something!
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Naan - THANK YOU!!!!! That's I how feel. I was so disgusted by her. I would give anything for them to move. The whole bunch is just worthless. Never in a MILLION years did I think we would have such trash living next to us when we built our house 5 years ago. Ugh! And that's just the tip of the iceberg with them. It's much much worse than that one story. Thanks for sharing my anger!
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Address, address! Your post was so funny, Julie.
)Well, Beachbound, you should take great comfort in knowing, that you don't have misdirected anger, that this type of commentary does happen quite a bit, that there is even a WTF? Stupidest Things Someone has Ever Said to You Forum on bc.org. I might have the exact title wrong, but there is a community here where everyone cheers each other up after withstanding an attack of the idiots. I'm glad you didn't participate and feel you had to stay there to be polite, but turned around and walked away. Good for you. That is exactly what is healthy. If you don't like the topic or environment, change it! Bravo!
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Thanks Inspired. Walking away was one of the hardest things I've done this year.
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Beachbound, nobody, I mean nobody better be messing with my sisters, or they'll have to go through me first, so frustrating these things are!
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way to stand your ground beachbound. You sound like one tuff cookie. She's a dumbass, your neighbor. It is umbelievable how stupid and insensitive people can be....and being drunk doesn't excuse her behavior...she is simply an idiot....
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I've been up at 1am feeling like I was starving to death, like I have a bottomless stomach. I finally figured out the problem, it was the steroids I've been taking. It makes me so hungry, I couldn't sleep. My radiation onc initially had me take 3/day, then 2/day, now he oked 1/day and by the weekend none. Can't wait. Hate getting swollen all over and always hungry! Had my 10th brain radiation today, finally at the halfway point. 10 more to go. Next chemo is this Thurs.
Tomorrow my 10yr old is getting braces put on, she's so nervous and asked me to stand next to her, I said I'll sit next to her and hold her hand. She's 5'5" tall and wears women's 10 and 1/2 wide shoes, but still a big kid.0 -
Julie I did ask for the cream you recommended and the doc (not mine) she is on vacation said that I was on the downhill now and if I could stand to just keep using what I have he would rather not start me on something else. I will try and if I don't see any relief I will go back and tell him I want it. I think it might have something to do with being in the boost stage, but I am not sure.
CONGRATS!!! to all the ladies out there that are way out.Beachbound I have been dealing with the same thing or just the ones who say my __ __ had breast cancer went through the treatments and it went to their brain and killed them.....and blah-blah-blah. My mom used to say she would never do chemo and so when she started her chemo, I said mama I thought you would never do chemo and she said honey when you are staring death in the face you do a lot of things you never thought you would. I just keep telling myself people who said that particular thing have probably not faced it yet. We all have to do what we can and even though I have said I am NEVER going back, I go back because even though I have days where I am not sure I want to fight anymore, I still fight because I truly do want to live.
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