Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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Val i was watching in you tube videos for intimassy and did think that you should make a video to teach all of us how the bra has to be wear. All those videos are for woman with real breast, none of them talk about our issues.
I wish we live close by, so i can be your model for the "how to find the perfect bra for your foobs" video....
well, first i will have to lose the 25 pounds i put on since DX...and i did all that without the help from quimo..
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Okay tamgam, ask your PS how implants will "defy gravity." The implants are fairly heavy [in volumes above 500 ccs] and the only thing supporting the implant is the tenacious grasping by 1/3 to 2/3rds of the pectoral, and that muscle is going to eventually relax to some extent, and even more so if there is no support. In the lower pole, the only thing supporting the heft of the implant is SKIN...well... and maybe Alloderm, if you have Alloderm. I remember one PS tellling his patient with 800 ccs implants that she did not need to wear a bra after mastectomy. She asked him if this meant she might start drooping at some point and he said, "well, yes, but then we can do a lift." WHAAATTT?
I would at least consider wearing a bralette like the one Lilah posted above, or a camisole with a supportive shelf bra...
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Tamgam, One thought- if your PS guarantees he can give you 700cc implants that will defy gravity, I think that's great! Only please clarify, with him, for how long. I know a gal who had augmentation (she was tiny) and put in 550 cc saline- she is humongous now and wears a bra 24/7 so not to droop (which is starting).
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tamgam - Deborah said exactly what I would have.....those are sizable implants.....something that needs to be considered.....unless he has some fancy surgical technique, chances are that gravity will take its toll.....eventually. You might clarify with him if he means no bras down the road or if he means ever. It takes awhile for the scar tissue to form around the implants which eventually adds some support, so a lot of our PS's feel that wearing a bra during that time helps keep the implants supported. Just a thought....
Deborah - I'll put you on speed-dial....guess what, though......I just got a call to work tomorrow at Neiman's.......and where do they want me?.........the Intimate Dept!.......just think....surrounded by all those pretty bras.....I promise to restrain myself, though.....discount or no discount.....
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Val....You be PERFECT working in that department! Who knows, you might develop a post-mastectomy bra fitting program for Neiman Marcus! Wouldn't THAT be cool?
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Deborah - I should probably be careful and not offer to show my reconstruction to any customers! That's certain to be grounds for termination..... Seriously, though, my PS does trainings with their staff, as well as the local Nordstrom's, so their fitters know what he wants, so your idea is not so far off!
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Seriously, Val- what an amazing job for you!!!
As far as showing, I had a visiting nurse ( a manager) who came to my house post BMX offer to show me her DIEP reconstructed breast. She extended the offer to my husband but he declined the offer- I took her up on it. It was something I needed to see. She even asked me if I wanted to feel- AND I did. Hmm. sounds perverted now, but somehow at the time it just seemed normal.
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Waldo - You should have seen me in my Pilates class after my nips. They were all curious, so I just pulled down my top and showed the whole gang! Actually, it's a small studio.....only 5 others, plus the owner....and they've been with me since my dx, so it wasn't so strange. However, I think I'd be perfectly fine showing anybody who asked!
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Received my new size in the Bendon Action Underwire bra....not sure if it's going to work. The center wires pull quite a bit away from my sternum, not just a little bit in the "Max Out" style. There's also a good bit of pulling across the front, so I'm thinking they're still a bit small. They do seem fairly comfy - and not nearly as intense as the Max Out - so perfect for light impact exercise like Pilates and yoga. I'll see if I can attach a pic that might show you the strange fit.....
couldn't do it...oh, well....
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Deborah, Waldo, and Val: Thanx for the input. I do feel it is too good to be true and really think all the info on this thread is good advice. I have questioned PS twice now and he is just adamant about it. I trust him a lot but think I will just have to err on the side of caution and pick up a few quality bras. Because of the Lat Dorsi procedure I essentially feel as if I always have one on any way so it isn't a comfort issue. I was just hoping to work on my shoe collection instead of a new bra collection! LOL
I am with you all on the "foob" shows. I will what pretty much show anyone I know well. I just find it fascinating how close to normal I look. I am amazed at how far we have come. BC used to mean a death sentence or mutilation. I feel blessed to still have my own skin and look like a woman- albeit a freakish one but a woman none the less. My DH has to remind me once in a while-(ok, a lot!) that even though I had the surgery they are still boobs and I can not go around flashing everyone I know! LOL
Hugs to all♥
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who's modesty has gone out the window with all this. I never thought I'd be posting photos of my boobs so total strangers could see! And when I was trying to figure out how big to expand to I was sending my DH photos of other women's boobs to compare! LOL! My DH told his crew (he's a pilot), "Look, my wife is sending me porn again!" 0
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LOL Kate. I keep offering people a squeeze (or a poke) because I can't believe how real the implant feels... so far my mom, a good friend, and two cousins... one wrote and thanked me after, said she was honored to have felt me up! That said, I have not showed anyone but the picture forum (and of course my BF).
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Lilah - Great new pic, girl!
Well, I'm back from my day of work at Neiman's in the Intimate Dept.....and hold onto your hats.....I didn't buy a thing! (I know you're proud of me, Deborah!) Don't think I didn't try on a few bras after my shift was up.....I had to 'cause the Le Mystere rep was there and wanted to know how they fit on me.....not well, I might add. I also tried on a couple Wacoal's and Chantelle's - I'll have to find the links so I can share. None of them fit me very well, though. It was funny seeing my PS's instructions on bra fitting right there next to the POS, though.....I felt right at home!
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Val...interesting. I am beginning to see that certain manufacturers do not make bras which work for post-mastectomy patients. That Le Mystere Dream Tisha is one of the most popular bras in the U.S. and nothing in Le Mystere works for me at all either.
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Any suggestions for the type of bra to wear where one breast is real but won't be lifted for 10 months and the foob is too high and hasn't settled in yet. How will I go to the beach this year
I thought after my exchange on Tuesday that I'd be able to wear a regular bra again. I see by reading all these posts that won't happen. I'm still hoping this foob will fall into place as now it seems at least 2 inches too high. If I put a bra cup on it, it bunches up under my arm. I can't imagine going back to teach 12 year olds in September with cock-eyed boobs!0 -
Val, I got my new Bendon Max Out heavy duty high impact sports bra- I wanted something real snug before teaching spin. Two weeks and I am back in the exercise room in the front of the class. I will ask DH if I bounce in it. but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to get it on (criss-crossed) w/o my helpful husband's assistance. I need to recheck the fit under a shirt to see how it looks.
Val, I am happy to hear that you have managed to fight your bra addiction at least for yesterday!
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Claire, here are some tricks I learned during periods of uneveness. Bathing suits - type that has fabric crisscross the chest can disguise it a bit. I know it's difficult trying them on, go to a store that has many and try some that are not smooth across chest or have a diagonal design. Black seems to work best in both bathing suits and gym wear, it doesn't reflect light, therefore asymetry isn't as pronounced. Try bras that hold their shape even when they are off! Pick up those rubbery inserts that are used to enlarge look of breasts. I think some people call them chicken filets, you can use one on one side, find a good position for it in a bra or bathing suit. Victoria Secret might sell them. Button down shirts with pocket on one side, shirts with ruffles, light weight scarves, vests, looser tops will all work. You'll find your way!0
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Claire -- Victoria's Secret sells silicone gel inserts (chicken filets, Katey, never heard that! but they do sort of look like that). If you go to their website and search the word "insert" you'll find a pair that costs $16 (they appear to only be sold by the pair).
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Waldo - I hear your frustration 'cause that was me! I can now put that bra on in the dark - which I frequently do in order to not wake my dh at 5:00am when I'm getting dressed for my 5:30am class. Here's how: with the straps crossed & connected at the back, grab both ends of the straps (the front and the back) in each hand. You'll then have a circular opening. Put your head through that circle. Carefully, put one arm through the strap opening. Pull the cup on that side under your implant and get it sort of postioned. Do the same on the other side. Reach behind you and hook that sucker up. Repostion the implants to make sure they're inside the wires. I'd be willing to bet that you won't be bouncing, girl!
Deborah - Yeah, the Le Mystere rep was all about the Tisha bra....Oprah may love it, but it's not foob-friendly. Neither is their new sports bra. Speaking of sports bras, do you know what my now-employed son had to do yesterday at work?.......watch a video about how to properly fit the TaTa Tamer Bra! Like mother, like son......and yes, he's working at LuLuLemon! (no discount for family, though....darn!)
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Val: Too hilarious. But what is your son going to do with Lululemon? He won't be fitting women, will he? Oh, what has this world come to??? LOL! Can't he just buy you the Ta Ta tamer as a gift?
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And WHY don't they ever have a 34DD in stock?
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Val, ROTFL, I've never put on a bra like that before. I've always fastened in the front, turn it around, pull it up and adjust the girls. UH OH- Am I going to get yelled at???? But, with this new one I'll have to try it the new way. 0
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Val/Deborah,
Just got back from Las Vegas so my response to the bra size questions are delayed!
Below my breasts I measure 28", around the breasts I measure 34", above the breasts 31", and the breasts by themselves measure 8 1/2". Sooo, if I use you're measurement recommendations (around breast 34" minus 31 add an inch=32 so 2" difference) I'd be a 32B (which is physically impossible for me to wear). If I use the below breast style (34"around breast minus 28"/upsize to 30 making a difference of 4 inches) I'm a 30D, again I'd need a 30DD if I went to 30" bra. And if I use the below breast (28") and separate breast measurement (8 1/2") I'd be in a 32C (using this chart http://www.justbreastimplants.com/size/).
It's frustrating to me because it's so important to be properly sized and yet none of the methods seem accurate.
Julie
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Deborah - I don't think he'll really be fitting women, but he has to know all the products. I did try on the 32D in the store last week, which should be my correct size (same cup as 30DD), but the wire cut off the implants on the outside. I don't think they make it in a 32DD, so no go on that for me. I'll tell him they need to get their act together 'cause we're trying to support their Tamers!
Waldo - I know......I NEVER hooked a bra in the back before this, either.....my PS laughed at me when he saw me put mine back on after one appt! I still mostly hook mine in the front and flip it, though - just not with those that cross in the back!
Julie - Those directions are really guidelines to get you started - and first way is really ineffective with foobs. Here are my measurements: ribcage: 28"; above the breasts: 301/4" (it's hard to get a true measure'cause my implants are so high that they're right there, so I might be a bit smaller); around the foobs @ the nip line: 35". So, we have essentially the same meausrments. You have 475"s right? If so, your implants are only .6cm wider than mine, which probably won't make much difference in the cup size. So....you should probably try a 30DD or 30E, depending on the manufacturer. That seems to be the size that works best for me. Hope that helps
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Julie: I agree with Val. Nothing larger than a 32 band and in a 32 band you would be at least a D cup, if not a DD cup. In a Freya and other similar mfrs, you would downsize to the 30 band, as Val stated, but up in the cup.
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Julie: You should have gone to Nordstroms in Las Vegas!!!!
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I have a question, is anyone else experiencing a little gap where the nipple is supposed to be in bras? I went and got fitted and the bras fit great around the band and the cup size appears good but there is a slight area that is not filled out where the nipple should be. To go down a cup size is too small? What can I do? Thanks Anna
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Do you have a nipple there yet Anna? If not, it will probably fill that gap better once you do. I believe that you are not alone in this issue... not sure what can be done either, except try to buy bras that are stretchy (so there is give in the cup) or conversely buy ones that hold their shape even when you are not wearing them (as they will undoubtedly hold their shape when you wear them as well, whether you fill them or not).
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Hi Lilah, thank you for your response. No nipples yet~ I appreciate your help so very much! I love this forum, so many great ladies here and knowing that I am not alone really helps me get through the day!
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Anna - Yes, in my countour type bras - the ones that have cups that hold their shape - there is still a little bit of space - and I already have my nips. Since reconstructed breasts are flatter across the front than real breasts - unless you had nipple-sparing. The loss of the nippple-areola complex makes it that way. It's just something we have to deal with.....or get an unlined bra that will more closely conform to the foobs' shape. Good question, though.....0
