August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Omaz
I got you PMs... Was going to respond... I am good... I am handling it gracefully...
I have full range of motion... I plan to have Diep Flap six month after I complete radiation... I will have delayed reconstruction on left cancerous side and immediate on right... ( so i am breast-less until then)
I had lymph nodes taken out during the failed lumpectomy, that may be a contribuiing factor to my speedy recovery...
I had herceptin, it was not bad.. Next one is next Tuesday...
I really feel good spiritually and mentally...
How are you...
All I can say is cancer is insidious... And it infiltrates your life...
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Lady--I am competing with you for the weight/water gain---I started walking everyday and although some of the bloating has gone down in the face--doesn't seem to be changing the weight and I start Tamoxifen tomorrow! Great news--along with the fact that I seem also to be growing a nice clown hairdo!
Sweeney--When I spoke to my MO/Surgeon/RO about a mastectomy--they were all very against it--my RO said that MX is utilized more in the US than Canada--interesting? I'm not sure what he based that on but he did say that in Canada it is not utilized as much. That being said, I joined a support group and I was only one of about 5 people out of 15 that had lumpectomy--granted, everyone's case is different. I do wonder if there is a difference in treatment between the two countries. As a point of interest, they released a study (all over news in Canada) about cancer treatment in industrialized countries with socialized medicine and Canada ranks in the top for treatment. Not sure on the details as the news only gives soundbites of information but it studied recovery, recurrance and survival rates. US was not in study as they don't have socialized medicine.
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Rachel: Glad to hear that about Canada's top ranking. Your treatment was same as mine (FEC then Taxotere). Most US patients, it seems, do AC or TAC. But if Canada's #s are good, then FEC & T must be just as effective. I told my onc I didn't want Adriamycin, so that's why I did FEC.
I did BMX but my surgeon left it up to me. My particular case could have gone with lumpectomy plus rads with the same survival/recurrence percentages. I opted for the more drastic surgery in the hopes that this will be it, just get it over with now and not have to worry about it down the road (hopefully).
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LizzyMack, when I replied to your P.M. I did not know you had posted my message on the message board. I will of course not P.M. you again.
My P.M. was an attempt to open a private dialogue, not a "calling out" of any sort. I think in retrospect that I was actually not direct enough. I thought Lizzy meant the "come back" as cancer coming back and I couldn't understand why she would post such a thing after calling "a discussion of a Lumpectomy for her ludicrous". when she knew many of us had lumpectomies. Perhaps that makes my P.M. more understandible. I had never heard of a "comeback rate" before, ever. I didn't know it was a financial term, that information would have led me to see her comment differently. .
I have only written a few PM's in my time here. Some to welcome someone, others to ask a question, others to repsond to a question or invitation. I don't see P.M.s as dangerous but as a helpful tool.
Again, LizzyMack, I apologize for upsetting you. It was not my intent at all and would never be.
You quoted me as saying that "Cancer is God's way of giving us time to say goodbye." That was actually a quote from my neurosurgeon when my father was dying of lung cancer. I appreciated it and shared it because of that.
I hope no one leaves because of this interaction on our usually smoothly running topic. I think this is a very important topic and is where most of us settled when we were first here. This is the first topic I check when I log onto BC boards. This is where I have found much support, information and developed a bond with so many of our sisters.
Blessings to all
Ginger
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Sohard - I am so glad to hear it, especially that range of motion is good! I am doing the herceptin only now too. It was too close to my last chemo when I had the herceptin last week to be able to tell the effects really, but I didn't notice anything bad.
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For the lumpectomy vs. mastectomy I based my decision to have the lumpectomy as I said partly on what the rad onc said but also on these two research articles which compared the two treatments. One is by Fisher in the US and one is by Veronesi in Italy if anyone is interested.
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Lady--I have noticed that FEC is mainly used in Canada but they may have something to do with the "E" drug--I recall when the "A" drug was having availability issues in the US--some mentioned that the "E" drug was the replacement drug but was much more expensive. I remember looking up information at that time and the "A" drug is older--doesn't seem much difference in stats but the "E" drug is a newer drug. I do recall my MO telling me that FEC-T was the 4th generation chemo (I am guessing in Canada) and therefore, that is what he prescribed for me. There is a book out right now on the history of cancer--I read part of the first chapter in the bookstore. It was very interesting but I don't think that emotionally--I am at the point to read about cancer right now--it made me sad just to read the 1st chapter! However, it is supposed to be a great read on the history of cancer, medicine, government involvement and the big business around it. Believe me, I know that cancer is a big business--I used to work at one of the largest pharma companies in the world! That being said, thanks to some of this new medicine--keeps us going!
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Rachel - interesting that you mention that about reading about the history of cancer. I read a website the other night about the history of BC. I found it very interesting. It is horrible, the surgery that they used to do on women because they believed that BC's spread was always locally, so they would take out as much as they could, sometimes even ribs, if someone had even a small tumor. Chemo also used to be much harsher. Even though we have the same drugs, apparently they are not as harsh as they used to be. Thank God for neualsta and anti-nauseas and other life saving things.
That being said, I believe that cancer IS big business. It's a shame. If you read the stories of Rife and his machine in the 1940's, he cured some 9 out of 10 people of cancer and the government shut him down. I can testify that a rife machine absolutely helped my lyme disease disappear when antibiotics failed me when I became resistant to them. But I just don't know enough about it to play around with cancer - neither does my nutritionist. Lyme is one thing - cancer is a whole other. BUT Why has this not been explored more? Why do we NOT know more about Rife and his methods? Why in Europe are they pioneering more integrative methods to treat cancer? I just read that in Switzerland they are beginning to use a machine similar to Rife's much the same as Rife did some 60 years ago right here!
In any case, I feel that they government could do a LOT more by way of prevention and researching this. Is it our microwave ovens? Plastics, which have only come in since the late 1940's but now totally infiltrate our lives? Wireless technology and radiation? Pesticides? Groundwater contamination or genetically modified foods? Animals being pumped with all sorts of things and meat being irradiated? WHY this huge increase in BC across the board with women both in North America and Europe? THIS is what needs to be explored and this is what I feel they are deliberately ignoring because perhaps if they find out the cause it would be life altering for everyone or would hugely impact our society, industries and financial system. This is my personal opinion, but BC doesn't come from "nowhere", genes or not. The fact is that has steadily increased greatly as the decades roll on. It was a "rare" disease at the turn of the last century......
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My BS also left it up to me about the surgery, except lumpectomy was not an option. My bc was muliti focal 3 1cm and smaller tumors plus speckles throughout a 5cm area to big for lumpectomy.
Onc. had said 5 1/2 weeks radiation. When I went for the setup for radiation the RO said that statics show 3wks is as good as 5 1/2 weeks, anyone else getting 3 wks? Of course he said it is up to me, and I said 3 is fine with me.
I hope each of you has a very Merry Christmas with your family or friends. I hope everyone feels well enough to enjoy themselves. I am feeling super gratefully to have caught this early and for all the support from you, chemo sister!!!! God bless, Sue
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Y'all KNOW i've had my unfair share of drama (family) and i concider myself an expert
Calamity said it so well- it is extremly hard to understand what someone means through texting/posting. After reading Gingers explanation of where she was coming from it makes things a little clearer.
I'd hate to "lose" anyone from this thread based on this after all that we've been through. Y'all have shared with me my highs and helped me throw my lows, with out y'all I dont know where i'd be
With that being said- my post seems out of order LOL, anyhow I've missed y'all!
Lizzy- We gave the kitty to our friends that are having a mice situation (mice keep getting the bait from the traps but are too smart to get caught!) Re- surgery: i think everyone makes their own choices based on whats going on in their life- i cant wait to see the surgeon cuz i am prepared for a bilat too, i honestly dont want a lumpectomy or just a mx cuz i dont want to have to go through any recon- i am young so want an even body, if that even means having a FLAT chest. I dont htink i could handle recon, i'd always worry about whats going on in my chest anyhow...
sptmm62- The kids are doing well
they are just waiting for christmas lol HAHAHA on the which pitty would you like- thats totally where i feel right now, sorta in the middle somewhere. Its easy to get into a panic thinking about all the what ifs, but whats done can't be undone so try not to worry about it (like thats really easy i still havent heard back bout my echo cardio gram and am in a near panic cuz the hospital gave me a heads up that htey faxed my dr the results & its been 2 days and i havent heard anything LOL)thanks Lady- i am gonna mention it to my dr because i am having frequwnt nosebleeds too along with tearing... Hopefully you avoid another surgery!!!!
Iowa- same here!!! The wieght is just crazy! I weigh almost the same amount that i did pregnant, with no excuse!!! LOL The scale keeps going up and up i figure eventually it'd stop!
Hairgrowth- right now i have a fine baby hair, its darker than when it first started growing in, but i find myslef rubbing it LOL
kathrine- love the pics- i'd post but i cant figure out how! I think i have files that are too large
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL (and to all a good night
just couldnt help myself!)0 -
My BS pushed me towards a lumpectomy. I pushed back. I had a few days to think it over and I wanted the whole thing off. She was upset with me. In retrospect I'm angry about that - they should not be the ones making the decisions - they don' t KNOW how it feels to have BC and to live with the fear. I think we know ourselves and our bodies best.
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My breast surgeon said I was a candidate for lumpectomy but he completely left the choice of mastectomy or lumpectomy up to me. I also had the choice of adjuvant or neoadjuvant chemotherapy. My rad onc was really the most opinionated about both the chemo and surgery. In the beginning there were so many choices and I knew so little.
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Calamtykel--Just to follow up on your comments--I met a nurse recently who is in her 20th year of Oncology--she said that the previous MX surgery involved removing ribs etc--sounded horrible. You would hope that with time--they will find a cure. My cousin is a Medical scientist in England researching various cancers and genetics. Hopefully, they find a cure--if not for my generation--for my nieces etc.!
We are heading out for Christmas visiting tomorrow so if I don't get a chance to post--Merry Christmas and Happy HEALTHY new year !
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Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
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Merry Christmas to you too Rachel. Eat some buttertarts for me!
Sohard, I'm glad you're back. We've missed you.
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texas- I don't mind being flat in front. I do regret not having them both off, then I could just wear an even mastecomy bra and choose my size~!
. If ANYTHING shows up in the 2nd side it all goes! And I mean ANYTHING - even benign. I don't feel the recovery on the mastecomy side has been any worse than the reduced side so I wish I had 'em both off but I was just sort of moving along with the whole process in the beginning. The only thing is the lymph nodes that were removed has left me with on and off cording issues in my wrist.....sohard - I love it!
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Ginger: I just got home from visiting and I must say, it is embarrassing how easily something can be grossly misconstrued in this cyberland. That is just awful that you thought I might be saying that. I only went bmx to gain a few percentage...the difference is quite negligible. In any case, I am so very, very tired right now I am going off to sleep. I would never be so cruel and heartless as to state anyone who had a lump is almost guaranteed a recurrence. I understand, however, how you might have taken it that way. Kel was right!
I am off to bed, guys...I am so tired. I will be back and certainly less commodious tomorrow!
Goodnight all
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Goodnight Lizzy
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Hi all,
Looks like Lizzy posted this morning at the same time I was posting about my kids. I didn't see her post until later and didn't want to seem as if I just posted a happy post while ignoring that others were upset. This is a wonderful group and it's impressive we've come this far before some conflcts arose, as tend to do when strong women get togteher:-) I hope it all gets sorted. I love everyone here and their willingness to share with eachother to make this journery more bearable.Can't talk to long b/c I'm on steroids (which means I could write a book right now:-)
Carolyn
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Ahhhh. We're resolved. I don't like it when we fight, there's enough ugliness out there right now. This is a safe place to come to bitch about boobs. Thank you so much Lizzy and Ginger- your willingness to resolve the issue shows what great and thoughtful people you are. Big kudos to both of you for this.
Now about that period....
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Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone. DH and I are leaving on Amtrak to Reno early in the morning. Should be FUN!
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Lizzy - 14 years on the internet buying and selling and I've made a few blunders as far as mis reading things before and reacting with that misunderstanding! =:O Glad we're all happy again!
Lisa - your pic is beautiful!
It's Christmas Eve and I couldn't sleep last night. I was up for a couple of hours. Those middle of the night thoughts you know.
I do this thing every year when I'm packing up the Christmas tree and ornmaments. I always think "When I'm UNpacking these again next year, I wonder how things will have changed." Hm. Obviously this year things changed a lot. I'm pondering on Christmases past and how they seemed so innocent. I guess I'm a little melancholy this year. Plus, I find as I get older that I get depressed as we get right up on Christmas. I love the whole Christmas "season" I think, better than the day itself! BUT I'm not going to let it get me down! The kids and I are making awesome pizza for dinner tonight and I'm making orange sticky rolls for breakfast tomorrow. I have all the wrapping done - and we're headed for my brother's house tomorrow. Haven't decided if we're going to Christmas Eve service tonight - have to see what shape I'm in for tomorrow first!
I hope everyone has a great day today and tomorrow. God has been good to me and I'm going to focus on that!
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Morning everyone!
Calam: Awe, you made my cry with that "What next Christmas will bring". A year ago, I NEVER would have imagined I would be where I am now. But, next year has GOT to be a better year than this year. And you are right, as bad as the whole thing was, we are all getting better and will continue to get better, so we are blessed!
My doctor was pushing for mastectomy if not bilateral because ILC has a tendancy to show up on both sides. It was my choice for financial reasons to go with lumpectomy and I am comfortable with that. But I am with Calam, one hint of a problem on either side, and they BOTH GO!!! I am giving it one chance, and thats it.
So, the doctor would not clear me for my procedure on Wednesday without a cardiology appointment. Seems I have inverted T-wavex. He said it could be anxiety and completely benign but since I have had pericarditis before, and my immune system has been compromised over the past six months, they are worried it might be that. Nothing that can't be treated he said though. So, I have an appointment with the cardiologist on Monday, hopefully he will clear me. I don't want to carry any of this medical stuff into the New Year, I just want it done.
The kids and I will be doing our annual NYC trip to see the tree today. A lot of walking, hopefully I can make it through. Its always a great time however, and one of those memories that they will talk about for years. Hope everyone has a great holiday!!!
Debbi
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Calam Gee I am amazed at all you do: cooking, sticky buns, wrapping, kids. This season the holidays have made me a little weird. It was sad to leave work on Tuesday and think I won't be back for 7 weeks total. My youngest graduated from college in May. Looking at the pics, I think about how I had BC then but didn't know it. Everything was so different.
All My oldest is 27 and Wednesday after my preop stuff we were discussing reconstruction vs. not. Im having a lumpectomy so as things stand this is one decision I won't have to make. I notice that some of you are opting not to have reconstruction. Was this a hard decision? We are all taking this crazy ride in so many different ways.
Deb Im also opting for the lumpectomy with ILC. My BS and onco offered me the option of a mastectomy, but suggested the lumpy.
Hope all of you have a great holiday! Now that pre op is behind me, I'm concentrating on Jan 4 for my surgery. Funny, after talking to peeps on this board about what to expect etc. I am really not scared of the surgery. Just scared of the BC.
Beth
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Beth - I think like that too "I had cancer last year and didn't know it". Maybe that's a GOOD way to see it though - last Christmas I had cancer. I just did not know it. THIS Christmas I do not. I know we will always be in the shadow of "is it still there" but there is just no point thinking like that if there is not evidence.
Debbi- NYC - -I'm so jealous! We live about an hour from NYC and I really wanted to go in this year but it was SO cold earlier in the month. Now that it's nice we ran out of time! I have a friend who lives close to the city and he and his partner have promised to take me and the kids in next year. It's been a long time since I've been to NY at Christmas time and I'm already looking forward to that!
My house is clean now-just have to package up the stuff I have for my parents, grandfather and brother -- but the sun's out and I think I'm going for a run or at least a brisk walk in this nice sunshine!
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Good morning chemosabes and radicals:
I think I pushed my luck with not getting the flu shot. Unfortunately I feel like I ave the flu. My docs are all gone for the holiday and now I will have to deal with an on-call resident
I had a fever last night but the highest I know it went was 100.0. I am not supposed to call until it is 100.4. It drifted back down after a while and, to be honest, I did not know if it was a hot flash because I was all bundled up in 2 comforters or a fever. I turned the fan on and cooled myself down and got my body temp back to 98.7. I have aches, pains, the headache and the sinus that has been a part of my life since chemo started...ugh. In any case, if you all don't hear from me it might be because I have been admitted. We shall see....and my final tx was scheduled for Tuesday. Woe is me!Happy holidays to all and to all a good day!-
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lizzymack1-I hope that the fever stays away and that you're able to spend Christmas with your family. I will pray that you stay on track for your last chemo next week.
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Lizzy - do you have a fever now? The one time we had the flu here, it started with a bang. I went to bed totally fine and two hours later woke up in an almost delirum with a fever. It was terrifying - it was in my nose, chest, headache, all at once. I think if you had a fever and it went back down and stayed down and you';re just having the usual chemo symptoms, hopefully it's just a virus. Flu aches are nearly unbearable even with pain meds and you're completely wiped out - as in dead in bed, getting up to go to the bathroom is beyond exhausting kind of wiped out.
I hope it's not the flu - hang in there!
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Lizzy: Hate that you are sick at Christmas. Hope it goes away as quickly as it came on.
I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas. We're doing our stuff tonight with my "new" stepkids because we have to have them back to their mother early tomorrow. Then we'll be going to my first in-laws (my deceased first husband's family, who is my family still). There I'll get to see my other two stepsons and all the rest of that family. It's a weird hodgepodge, but it works for us!
merry, merry, merry, merry ... love you guys.
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Lizzy don't you dare get sick! After my last TCH my temp went up (it never did this before). It never reached the 100.5 mark and the office told me the same thing. It gradually crept back down and I thought it was a weird chemo SE. Normally I have a flu shot since I work with children. This year I decided not to risk it. The onco ok'd it but said it probably would not be as effective. Stay well...don't get sick. Beth0
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Libraylil- The reason i dont want recon is because i am stage 4 (so i am just overly worried) i really want to know whats going on in my body- i'm afraid with an implant i wouldnt be able to feel if a lump pops up or something. I figure my boobs did their job (got a man and nursed 2 kids lol) time to say goodbye to them lol Also i dont think i could do the tissue expanders or anything, i am just about done with this whole cancer thing and the slew of crap we have to deal with so not trying to add anything more to my plate! Yup we are all taking this crazy ride in so many diffrent ways!
Lizzy- Hope you feel better! No on call dr?
Poll- who opens presnts at midnight? who waits til they wake up???
Husband gets off of work at midnight so he said if the kids are still up we can do presents then!!! BTW my son (3) already opened a few lol, just went over there and tore into them, by chance they were his only!
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