August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Cal - I was reporting what the onc nurse said. I haven't even started tam so I don't know what's in store for me. I agree with you. I had a very hard time deciding to do the 5 instead of 6 chemos. I have nerve troubles from the taxotere that most folks don't get. It's a balance and nothing teaches you more about being a balancer than BC, at least nothing else in my life has.0
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Omaz....I started Tamox in December and just started with the dse prescribed....I did read that some people divide the pill until the regular dose. I haven't had any probs.....night sweats, some constipation and lack of sleep....the constipation just started a couple of weeks ago though? My onco also gave me the info on Tamox and said I would prob stay on it for a year and then move to AI's...I guess.
Lisa/Sue....great pics...i am going to get hubby to take picture and post it.0 -
Cal: How old are you? Is taking out your ovaries to put you in menopause and then using an AI an option? That's what they are doing with me. I was perimenopausal (52) when diagnosed, but still having periods. They took out my ovaries laproscopically and it was an easy operation, for me.
Lisa: You might think this is weird, but you look so good bald. Your head is just a perfect shape, no bumps or lumps. Too bad bald isn't acceptable for women and you could just stay that way!
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rachel - Did you start with a lower dose?0
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Nope...just started with what they prescribed...figured that I would just dive in headfirst! I take it in morning with breakfast.
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Rachel - Thanks!0
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wow lisa your hair is real dark.
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Lady-I'm 41. For women under 45, it greatly increases many complications such as cardiovascular, etc to have the ovaries removed. After menopause, or after 50, it is not a big deal. I'm not sure why, but I read a bunch of studies that talked about it. My dad just died three weeks ago at age 67 of a massive heart attack; his cholesterol, weight and blood pressure were all fine. My grandmother had heart problems and my great grandfather died at 41 of heart failure. It runs in our family and since ovary removal carries with a seven fold increase in cardio risk AND I've already had adriamyacin, I can't go that route, at least not for a few more years.......
I hope you are doing well - my aunt with thru ovarian cancer 12 years ago and she's been fine since then.
Hers was caught early as well - she had a very very large tumor but only a small part of it was cancerous. 0 -
Omaz- yeah, I know you were just reporting what the nurse said. That's what I meant...that these medical professionals often have tunnel vision - they haven't been through breast cancer themselves, nor the treatment. I was totally willing to take all the SE's of tamoxifen as they were stated to me, but I wasn't told about the ones that I ended up having. Even afterwards, my oncologlist denied that weight loss was a symtom (I lost eight pounds in three weeks on the tamox.) YET when I came home and looked at the actual drug label's list of symtpoms, weight loss was one of them.
I guess that I'm sort of in this limbo where I know we need these professionals to help us, but I just find myself skeptical because so many of them conflict with each other and even with what studies show! UGH!
Anybody else just ready to be DONE with BC? I have to make appointments tomorrow to go to the gyn and also back to visit the oncologlist...... I guess at some point she will want a breast MRI or some kind of mammo....I haven't been able to deal with any of this since the death of my dad. I miss him so much; he was so supportive through all of this. When he found out back in January that my lymph node that was removed from my neck was benign, he started to cry. I stood and looked at him on the table in the emergency room after they removed all the tubes and I noticed his hair - so short because he had shaved his head for me.
I'm doing okay - mentally and emotionally I'm doing far better than I was when things were "normal" but I was on the tamoxifen. At least my emotions and mind are back in balance, but it doesn't take away missing my dad.................
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Ahh Cal - that is so sad about your dad. I loved my dad too. He had end stage diabetes and had been on dialysis for 7 years. Finally his heart couldn't take it anymore and we stopped. He died in about a week. I was there. I miss him too.0
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I just had an epiphany! Some men grow beards because their face is in a warm place as a result of the work they do, an auto mechanic for instance. Other men who want to grow beards will try to keep their face warm. I just realized if we wear knit caps (no choice in CT as of yet!), capturing the heat might induce hair growth!
Kel: it is a travesty but tamox is just not for everyone. Your SEs were very real, very good indicative of tamox SEs and it was not a workable situation for you. Through your naturopath and your own knowledge of the situation, you are doing everything you can to do the same thing tamox would do without the SEs. That is the best and all you can do. There ARE people with extreme SEs on tamox; I am just sorry you had to be one of them.
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Lizzy -once it starts come back, it does so with a vengence! Mine is getting long enough to spike. The other day I went to a flea market with my mom - what I do, since I have a massive collection of vintage scarves is to tie one around my head with the knot under one ear - it's like a headband, so my head is exposed, but it just goes as a band up and over my head. I wear a matching whatever- dress, leggings, jewelry, etc. But sunday someone stopped me in the parking lot on the way out from a flea market and said "I LOVE YOUR STYLE!" I thanked her and my mom and I laughed - my hair is now long enough that you'd never know I had chemo - so it was really funny to just get a "compliment"
The dress I was wearing was $7 at Old Navy with my $7 walmart leggings and garage sale jewelry......;D 0 -
Tx Omaz.....I miss my dad terribly. It happened so fast -- no time to say goodbye. I hope he knows how much we love him! The fact that his grandchildren, especially the boys, will grow up with out a grandpa tears at my heart. But I know - I KNOW God's in control and that it's okay. When I got the call that he was unconscious, and ran to grab my clothes to get to the hospital and I'll never forget it, as I was rummaging in my laundry pile, I had a vision of my dad no longer here on earth. It was SO weird--=he was walking in Heaven meeting Jesus. I immediately fought against it and said 'NO Lord, not here not NOW - not YET!" And while the voice wasn't audible, it was crystal clear that He said to me "Yes, and it's okay....he's with me." I again fought and said "NO!" and he again told me "It's okay - I have your back and this is okay..."
I've never had such a premonition since my grandmother passed away, but hers was from alzheimer's and we knew she didn't have long. So when I received the text in the car on the way up that he was gone, I was absolutely not surprised........
Being smacked in the face with death makes me not so afraid, if that makes sense. We all have lived in the shadow of it since last spring when we were diagnosed.....through all the fear, tests, surgeries, etc., it's always foremost in our minds - death from cancer. But having seen the brevity and fragility of life from what happened to my dad, and that it's "okay", I've been able to release those fears to God. Yes they will come again - every appointment, every bloodtest or ache and pain or scan......but I think I've come to a good place of emotional healing.
Meanwhile, our church has stepped forward and offered to pay $2000 of our medical bills. And in the mail the other day, we received a $1000 check from my aunt and uncle out of the blue! This will help us tremendously ! Some providers were sending them to collections even though we were paying. We paid 1/4 of a pathology bill- they took the money and sent the rest to collections!
but meanwhile, God has been so good in caring for us. I hope you all have a great day - I'm working on our business taxes today and catching the kids up on school, and fitting in my daily run before the rain starts!
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Good Morning everyone!
I now have enough hair that someone looking at me could think that I styled my hair like this in some misguided attempt to look cool...LOL! I am going to try to post a picture tonight.
So I went to the eye doctor yesterday because I can no longer read anything. Another lovely gift from chemo! It seems I now need reading glasses. Nothing major just aging..but she told me that chemotherapy ages the eyes about 10 years. So, it hastened the already ongoing aging process and I need glasses! Luckily there was no glaucoma, which can also be a side effect of chemo.
Cal: I am with you....I am SOOO DONE with BC. Unfortunately, it isn't going away any time soon. I think it has now become our lifelong partner. I intend, however, to make it a silent background partner and try not to let it constantly be in the foreground of my life. This, however, is a work in progress!
I haven't had a chance to fully catch up on all the posts so I hope I didn't miss anything important. I will catch up later. I hope everyone has a great day! I must get back to work, yuck!!
Debbi
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Debbi I was wondering if the chemo had affected my eyes too! I notice when I give the kids medicine I can't read the small print on the bottles anymore. I was hoping it would wear off but I guess I'd better make an appt. Uggh, I feel like I'm going to look like dh's mom by the time this is over. (Alot of discomfort from my exchange surgery so I'm grumpy this week)
Carolyn
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yes ckptry my eyes seam a little worse also, I need to get to the eye Dr. soon.
I would like to know if any of you have made changes in your diet and vitamins since cancer? and If so what. I really want to go vegetarian and organic but its hard to find organic around my area.
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Cal: That was a special gift for you to have the vision of your father entering Heaven. Hang on to that. My father's been gone 12 years and my mother 2, and I miss them every day. I'm so glad they aren't here to worry about me being sick, but there are times I sure could use their comfort.
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Death-
Loss of any sort can be hard on us. All the "what ifs" and "should bes" can eat us up inside. I didnt grow up with grandparents and i miss that. i see my in laws with my children and their excitement when i say we're going over to their house. My children deeply love my husbands parents (we only see mine once a yr) they are aging (mid 70s) and there will be a day that they will no longer be with us, we just have to give our kids the proper tools for grieving and pray for the best. Kids are resiliant!
Lisa- WOW thats a lot of hair!!!
I have had 3 tx out of 33 so only 30 more to go! So far no SE from radiation- thats mostly why i havent been online LONG days!
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Iowa and Lisa: you both have a lot of hair! Lisa, your's is really coming in.
Speaking of hair, did anyone take advantage of being bald by putting moisturizer on your scalp?! I have been doing it and it feel so great....just wonderful. In fact, it feels so good it is one of the things I am really going to miss when my hair gets back!
Texas: that is called more than 1/2 way through rads and congrats!
Deb and Ckpt: ditto on the eyes thing. It seems that the headlights bother me MORE than ever (always did) and sometimes I am seeing like blotches in my vision so I rub my eye like it is going to go away. I had a professor for Mandarin Chinese once that basically spent a lot of time making fun of everything American especially our seemingly undying love of aesthetics! In any case, more to this point, she told us to, with our index finger, and NOT for the purposes of beauty, do 12 circles counter and clock around each eye for 4 sets, lightly tapping all around as we go, before bed each night to strengthen ocular muscles and avoid eye troubles. I started doing that again about 2 weeks ago and I do feel some difference. You might want to try it. She was wicked smart and so very enigmatic, I loved her!
Good day, girls!
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Cal - So glad to hear you are feeling like some emotional healing is happening. I have you in my prayers everyday.
Hair - Everyone is looking good! I will try to get my hhubby to help post my pic tonight. I think I am doing fairly well.
Sue - I started taking calcium, krill oil and a multi vitamin. Not sure why those, just felt tlike I should be doing more. Would love to get some guidance with the supplement think. I gave up all junk food for Lent so I should hopefully be eating healthier!
Been doing well, but very sad. Lots of body aches and pains that make me worry something is going on. Never sure if it is residual chemo stuff, herceptin, tamoxifen, old age, or the extra weight I have put on (or...cancer). It seems like most days my neck and upper back hurt. My side has been bothering me too. Just not sure. I keep reminding myself that there is a good chance it won't come back...but I feel myself just waiting for it. I am alone in that fear? Will we start feeling normal again? I know there will be a new normal, but will cancer move from the forefront on my mind to somewhere in the back (or even the passenger side)? Just wondering how many still feel rickety and are still worried. Hate to bring it up, but I feel alone (not that I want you guys feeling this way).
Hugs to all,
Michelle
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mommichelle - I am creaky creaky creaky. No spring in my step at all. Miss it.0
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Lady: I meant to tell you about not having a browse button for pics: you might have an older version of windows OR you might need to clean the cache. If you need more help, email me at Gmail and I will give you step-by-step instrucs to clean the cache. Also, and this is for everyone, if you all don't have "Adaware" and "Spybot" on your computers, it is a good idea to use these free services daily. I run them about 1x every other day just to keep my computer clean.
Michelle: you are NOT alone. I live in every-pain-is-mets land! I do feel creaky (thanks Omaz!) but I do notice the further from chemo I get, that is abating a bit. Don't forget, though, estrogen has a big impact on our bods and now that it is getting suppressed, we all need to look at what job it was doing and the byproduct of not having it. Their might be little things we can do to make our situations a bit better but, and sadly, there is no holistic alternative to estrogen.
Better days and higher love are coming!
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Michelle--You are not alone at all with the creaky bones...sometimes I feel 100 years old when I get off the couch! I had another bone scan about 1 month after chemo because I was worried about my side--there was nothing there but it brought up that fear again. Not sure if it ever fully goes away but we just learn how to go forward without too much looking back? I go to a program called Healing Journey and it is all about Survivorship and going forward...it is really helpful in meditation/imagery etc...basically all tools that can help you heal and go forward.
As an aside--Lizzie said exactly what my Doc also said--lack of estrogen can start causing all sorts of other probs (lucky us!) including a lot of achey bones and joints---add a dose of Tamoxifen on top!
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Mommichelle: Some group has just come out with a new study on longevity and one thing they found is that "worry warts" live longer than "slackers." They said the strongest indicator they found of longevity was Diligence, i.e., those who don't ignore things or hide their head in the sand at symptoms and problems, but address them and do what can be done about them. So I don't think it's bad that we'll always have cancer at the back of our head. We know it's an issue, it can be dealt with, we'll always be vigilant, but it doesn't have to control us.
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lady that makes sense! People that are worry warts tend to be squeeky wheels and you know they get the grease!
My sister is a slacker and had ignored abdominal pain for a few months keep thinking it was just menstrual cramps and it turned out a cyst on her ovary had grown so large and heavy it literally flipped the ovary which in turn pinched- sorta like kinking a hose- and it began to dye cuz it was cut off of blood... SO hte pain got bad enough where she couldnt walk then she went in and had an emergency surgery! They said if she hadnt come in when she had it prob would have killed her.... so i totally see the slacker thing
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I got a new pair of glasses just one week before I started chemo. I don't have to wear them all the time and didn't. When I put them on, because felt I was haivng a hard time seeing, especially fine print, I discovered there was a mistake! Yeah right, some mistake my vision is actually worse than when I get the glasses, it is me not the glasses. Brand new glasses that are not strong enough.
I am done with 28 rads and finished two boosts so far of ten. I saw the Lymphadema therapist today and she measured me and checked me out and I do not have lymphadema. I do need to get an arm compression sleeve for whenever I fly again. I am grateful not to have any symptoms of LE.
The study on longevity sounds really interesting Lizzy. Do you have a link or title to help find it.
Hugs to all
Ginger
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Ginger - I thought I needed new glasses after chemo only to find out that the steroids made my cataracts grow like wildfire. Cataract surger on the left eye is complete and right is scheduled for mon. it is a relatively "easy" surgery but another bump in the bc road! Hope all you need is new glasses!
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Rachel: A bit off topic but I have been meaning to tell you that Ontario is advertising in the greater NY Metropolitan area (where I live) as a wonderful place to live with low taxes, socialized medicine etc...!!!!!!! I could not believe Canada is advertising, trying to lure us north!! I had to tell you.0
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Thanks for the responses ladies! Feeling better today and hoping to continue on that path. Just thought at three months out from chemo, I wouldn't be feeling so rickety, old, and every now and then in pain. OH well, one day at a time!
Good days to all,
Michelle
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Rickety... I resemble that remark! I'm two months out.
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