August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Thank you Lizzy. It's nice to be compared to a kid when you are 53 years old!
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Good day Warriors:
JSW: welcome back. Glad you got away!
Lady: I speak the truth!
BTW, I had yet another epiphany today!!!!! Our bc playlist is growing and aside from Scandal's "Warrior" we are adding "Born to be Alive" by Patrick Hernandez!!!!!!! Anytime you are feeling down I encourage you to hop on to YouTube and play that song while you dance around!!!!
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The quote was from this movie...... it caused quite a ruckus in 1979! (c:
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I posted this in the arimidex thread but thought I should post it here too because I haven't been posting so much and have traveled so much of this journey right here, on this thread. If I read nothing else I read this thread everyday.
Thank you Caerus-Sunflowers and all of you thank you for reminding me that this is a life saving drug. I felt overwhelmed by this feeling of crabbiness, crankiness and yes, discomfort in my own skin.
I am taking 150 Effexor and have been for a few years since my mothers death, I was down to 75 mg and had planned to go off of it when BC struck last year. My Onc moved me back up last fall when I found myself crying and crying,
Now because I had a D3 of only 8, yes, no typo, 8, I had some massive doses of D3 and now 4000 mg a day. I also take B6 200 mg, an ultra mega vitamin for women over 50, calcium, fish oil ( a good kind), Glucosamine and Chondroitin, allegra for seasonal allergies and an antacid for gerd. I went back on this full regimen of vitamins the same day I started the generic Arimidex.I had neglected all except the D3 for a couple months.
Today I feel pretty good, better than in the last week. Maybe the vitamins are taking hold. I also went to see a counselor and had an initial meeting with an internist. I haven't had a "regular" doctor in a long long time, just a bunch of oncological specialists for the last year. I moved here a year ago and live out where you don't see your neighbors because of all the trees. I made the effort, took the risk, to stop my car and introduce myself to my first neighbor, first non cancer person. I was surprised at how happy that made me feel. I went to a community meeting in Seattle about homelessness, that was the area my work was always in, and remembered that I have passion for that. I even felt competent to speak to some solutions.
The spell of crankiness knocked me flat because that is not my personality, it overwhelmed me in its intensity. Being able to come here to BCO made the difference because you all have collective wisdom to share, and do. Thank you so much, I want to live, I want to not worry every day that I am on some sort of rickety bridge that will collapse when I least expect it. I suppose I am more afraid than I have ever expressed. I don't want to leave this world, I love being alive and have wasted the last several years in deep depression since my mothers death and now need to find the way to step away from it back into living fully.
So, thank you for your responses. I pray I can tolerate this medicine. If it gives me a 5% more chance of long term servival, I'll take it.
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Debbi- kickball is going good, last week my daughter missed a game cuz she was sick and we apparently lost that game, which was only our second loss but the coach said that was a deciding game to see if we make the playoffs but i dont understand how if we still have 4 or 5 games left, if we win all those and another team loses all theirs wouldnt that make us better in the standings???? Dunno lol
Lizzy- i am def gonna look up that song! i am terrible with names of songs, but if i hear it i might recognise it
Lady- How many tx will you be getting? Surprised you lost your hair after only the 1st tx, but be our bodies still arent as strong as before chemo and so it came out quicker. If i am recalling right most of us didnt see hairloss until after a few txs. But hey you've gone through this whole song and dance, know the steps so you'll be more ready this time...
Jsw19- thanks
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Hi ladies, recovery is going good. Yesterday my 4 y/o g son was here visiting and he wanted me to jump on the trampline and I told him it would a long time before I could jump again and he said I hope you dont have any more surgeries, I said ME TOO!!! Week out from Bi DIEP today, follow up tomorrow. Thanks again for all your prayers, great bunch of ladies!!!
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Yay Sue!! Keep healing!0
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Ginger brew. I open up the arimidex and start tomorrow. As a reward my follow visit is with dr cute RO tomorrow. Libraylil
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Good luck with the arimidex lil - I am 8 weeks into the tamoxifen now.0
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Sue glad you are doing well! So cute about your grandson wanting you to jump on the trampoline. After I had my bmx I was in pj's for the first day home. The next day when I got dressed my daughter, 3 at the time, said 'mommy you're all better!'.:-)
Carolyn
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wow - I just realized I have a short brown version of Ronald McDonald hair. It's like a helmet. It's very coarse and I think it just absorbs styling products like a sponge. A half hour later I have toh two wings above my ears again. Yesterday was hot here and I wore my flip flops with a band aid over my big toes b/c the nail is not growing back. I know these are minor annoyances. I have absolutley no muscle tone, I am Lizzy would say skinny fat. Ok just needed to vent, I'll wet down my hair and put on some makeup.
Carolyn
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I got my hair trimmed yesterday. sorry to say I still look like a westie. At least she cut off the fuzz. I put a bunch of hair control product in today so maybe that will keep it under control. Now my DH has started petting my head too. on the other hand I am GLAD TO HAVE HAIR!!!!
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Carolyn: LOL on the Ronald McDonald hair! Great call on the bandaids. My big toenail on the right is not growing in either and the one on the left is still all black underneath so I had given up on sandals for the summer. But BANDAIDS...that's a great idea, I think I will try it! How did your meeting go this weekend?
Omaz: Sorry the petting has expanded to include your husband, it gets very annoying. Anyway, I bet your haircut looks good, you are probably just being overcritical. You have some good growth there. I am with you though, as curly and out of control the hair gets, I am just thankful that I have hair!!
Ginger: Sorry to hear that you are still having such a rough time of it. You do seem to be doing all the right things though. Hopefully you will find a couple of things you enjoy to get involved with and that will make all the difference! Or, you can just keep smiling at the adorable little granddaughter!
Lizzy: The sun is out!!!! The sun is out!!!! YAYYYYY!!! Hope you are enjoying!
I can't wait for the end of my work day, to get out in the Sun!!!!! Have a great day everyone!!
Debbi
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sptmm - It was actually pretty funny this morning because I opened the fridge and my husband was standing right there and he was looking at my head and half raised his hands then stopped. I asked if he wanted to pet my head and he said yes. I have never had short hair so I think its the novelty or something. I find it amusing since both my husband and daughter get this LOOK on their face when they want to pet my head. Maybe I finally look like I usually act - like a westie - and it is all coming together for them (hehehe)??0
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LOL Omaz!! At what point in this journey did you become the family pet? If they come up with a cute little name for you like, "frisky", I think you should object! I have never had short hair either, so maybe you are on to something. Short hair really is a pain though, isn't it! You actually have to blow dry it so it doesn't stick up all over in different directions. With my long hair, I showered, went to bed, woke up in the morning , put it in a ponytail, and left the house. SO EASY!!
Debbi
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Debbi The meeting went well! She wants me to put together what exactly we would like for Aidan. I'm starting to realize how much chemo has affected my organizational skills (although dh says I had chemo brain when we met -he's right I lose everything;-) It's expensive but I don't see how we can't do it. Someday I'll get back to work and we'll catch up.
I have a pulmonoligist appt tomorrow. I have mild asthma, but since chemo it's gotten worse. I'm trying not to worry everything is cancer...
Carolyn
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Debbi - The family pet - I am on the lookout for cutesy names..... I agree wholeheartedly about the short hair - argh, I don't know how people do it. I put loads of goo in this morning and it's just fluffing out anyway. Longer hair is actually easier, I agree.
Carolyn - I just started a thread called BC treatment and asthma since I am having trouble with my asthma too and going to see my primary care doctor about it tomorrow! I called the onc office yesterday to ask if anything in my current treatment could be bothering my asthma - herceptin, tamoxifen, delayed rads effect and the onc nurse said no, call my PCP.
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omaz Sorry that yours is acting up too. I saw the pulmonologist about 2 months ago - I knew I was short of breath but wanted to wait until I was at least a month out from chemo. It turns out my breathing test had taken a nosedive and he put me on steroids for a few days. He said that it's common during chemo because of the anemia and can take a while to bounce back. I don't have seasonal allergies but everyone around me who does said it's really awful this year so I hope that's part of it. I did see shortness of breath listed as a side effect in an ad for herceptin -strange. Anyway I'll let you know if he thinks its treatment related tomorrow. I noticed when I put the AC on it felt better so maybe it is partly the weather.
My kids love petting my hair, they say I'm so fuzzy and I look like daddy- great!
cute story, my dad was here and my son was asking how can grandpa be your daddy if you're a grown up. He finally seemed to get it and said ok first you're a baby, then a teenager, grown up..etc...then you get old and die ,and then you turn into an angel or a zombie, lol.
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Iowa: Good to hear from you and glad the recovery is going well.
Omaz & Debbi: My DH loved rubbing my head when I was bald. I was bald during football season and he would walk by my chair during games and rub my head for luck. Not funny at the time ... lucky him, I'll be bald again this year!
Lil, Texas and others: I'm doing well. I've got to do 6 chemos and I had my second one yesterday. Doing ok with it so far. I've had a rough day today but it's not from the chemo. I've had a pain in my side for about a week now and this morning I was in excruiating pain and threw up. I talked to the nurse a while ago and we think it's a kidney stone. I've had one before. They're sending me for a test/xray tomorrow. I thought I had a UTI or kidney infection and had them take a urine sample yesterday. It was ok, showed no signs of infection. Man, it's always something isn't it?
Lizzy: I'm going to look up that song. I'm trying to find some new songs to put on my iPod that will jazz me up when I walk. Any other recommendations?
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Ginger: Hang in there girl. I've suffered off and on with depression over the years. I went into a terrible tail spin when my first husband died. With medication and making some lifestyle changes (exercising, etc.), I eventually got better. Keep reaching out and trying new things. For me, the busier I am and the more I am focused on the "outside" and not on me, the better I do.
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OMG ladies. Ya'll have got to check out Lizzy's song. Originally from 1979, my wild years (yes, I'm old as dirt). This you tube remix is just too funny.
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Lady Bama, Forty Second Street, a version where you can hear the tap dancers dancing. You will fly along the street to that tune.
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too funny carolyn! Kids really do say the darnest things- btw i would LOVE to be a zombie!
My daughter has said to her brother who is ONLY 2 years younger than her "when you are a grown up, i will be dead" I told her no when he is a grown up you will also be a grown up. She asks me all the time when she is a grown up if i will be dead, i tell her no i will just be an older grown up like grandpa (the oldest person she knows LOL)
Ginger- have you ever heard of seasonal affective disorder? I know that a lot of people in the Northwest suffer from that (more so if they're transplants) basically in the gray winter months you're more depressed and scientists link it to the lack of vitamin D (the sun) Maybe its the whole combination of your dx, plus the crappy weather, and just life.
Lady- ouch kideny stones... let us know how the visit goes tomorrow
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Yeah- I'd go for zombie too!
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GOOD DAY WARRIORS!!!!!!!! Finally, finally, finally, at long last some nice weather in Connecticut!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it.
Speaking of weather, I feel so bad for those in the MW dealing with all of those tornadoes as Ladyinbama had to a few weeks ago. It is just so sad. If I did not have a hole in my chest I would go volunteer. I can't imagine how they must feel.
Sptmm: we finally have some good weather!!!!! YAHOOOEEE! I am so excited...I opened up all the windows in the house and all the windows on the cars....I am so happy for a dry day! OMG...it was getting too much, that 10 days of rain!
I have pics of my hair and I actually found a pic where I am posing in the living room but I can't find any body building photos, per se. I also have a pic of me screwing around in Central Park. I am wearing roughly $2000 worth of clothing and wait til you see it....3 sheets to the wind comes to mind!!!!! Ah, alas I lived!!!!! I will keep hunting for more photos. In the interim, I just threw the few I have found on Flickr and still don't know how to get them here directly so, here goes:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63307850@N03/5760051514/
IN this one, I am having some inebriated fun in Central Park with my boyfriend who was a photog for CNN....he captured a nice pic!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63307850@N03/5760051680/
In this one, I am flexing so you can see some muscle, especially in my arms and neck but that is about it!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63307850@N03/5760062404/
This one is my hair today....see my halo?!?!?!!
Texas: that song is way old but it rocks!!! I think it is perfect for us! You might remember it from the battery commercial where some flies are dancing around and they are playing that song and, of course, flies have a very short life so the point was to show how this one fly, who used a certain battery, was dancing away etc.. it was funny!
Tex, that is so sad about your dd asking that....uh...kind of heartbreaking actually. They don't know, they are so young. You all will be alive having some fun and that is all she needs to know!!!
Ckptry: fat skinny is great!!! Honestly, if you did pilates for ½ hour a day for 2 months you would be amazed at how much more tone and thin you would look. It will totally develop that nice tone everyone wants and can only be gotten through pilates! You are lucky btw....fat-skinny is a total blessing!
I am glad things seemed to go ok and were not too tumultuous at the school. Did you bring your sister and was dh able to go with? Just wondering. Everything is so expensive these days with being out of work for so long etc.. I feel it. This, too, shall pass.
Lady: I will work up a playlist! I have tons of playlists for working out and I will try to find some stuff that perhaps you might like. Good luck with the kidney stones....stone them!!!!!
Ginger and Lil: good luck on Arimidex.
Ginger: I had no idea that song was from/for/in 42nd Street. That is a great tune! As for depression, I think everyone at some point or another experiences it. I know I went into such a tailspin after 9/11 but I refused to take any meds. I was a lost soul. Use the meds, be happy, be healthy and look forward. You are definitely not alone in any of this. I also think you need to plan 2 weeks at the equator each winter/early spring. I agree with Tex that the PNW has a lot of gray time and you may have a touch of that need-for-sun a few times, or even 3 weeks a year.
Omaz: I am so glad tamox has been uneventful for us. I am 12 weeks in and still just hot flashes = I'll take it! I love that they are petting you! I think your hair looked great in the last photo. I am so grateful for the little bit I have! It actually does look pretty good short and I am getting used to it...en route longer hair, of course!
My favorite anchor on CNBC, Mark Haines, died unexpectedly at his home last night. I can't believe he is gone. My mornings will never be the same
He smoked and always carried extra weight in the stomach area but still no word on what the cause of death was. I am so sad This was such a reminder of how short life can be....I am still reeling from this. He was one of the co-anchors on squawk box. I have watched that show quite religiously since 1999. How time flies.I hope you all are having some nice weather! Today was perfect here and I totally enjoyed it! Sptmm: we have one heck of a nice night ahead of us here and I cannot say enough good things about this amazing weather! After that long winter, I think I am just so grateful!!
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Look at that hair!! All those weird pieces sticking out....I might get a trim.....in August!!!!!!!
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Lizzie--Love the pics. Good hair growth!
I will have to take a picture of my hair---everyone keeps telling me how it has grown so much but I don't think that I see that. I do believe that I need to look at getting some sort of cut/style soon. We are heading to a wedding in early June so will look at getting a cut (and some sort of styling) around that time. It is still so short but I actually don't mind right now as the weather was quite warm here in Toronto over the last few days.
Lady--Sorry to hear about your potential kidney stones....you need a break from all this crap! Hope you feel better soon.
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Lizzy - your hair is comin in good! It has color - yay!!!
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Lizzy Hair is looking good!
Sue Glad to hear you are recovering!
Lady I'm glad to hear you are doing well with this set of chemo but boo about the kidney stones! Hopefully you can get some relief soon.
Carolyn I'm glad your meeting went well. Hopefully the school will help provide some of the services for Aidan so that you don't have to pay for all of it out of pocket.
I am on day 3 of Tamox and so far doing ok. Maybe starting to get the hot flashes again or maybe it is just super hot here (which it is!).
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Morning everyone!!
Ckptry: I am glad the meeting went well. You are absolutely right, it is probably well worth the money paid to the advocate. They know the system and they are not emotionally invested in the situation so they probably come across better to the administration. They say early intervention is the key to helping your children reach their full potential so your money will be very well spent to get the kids what they need. And it will relieve a lot of your stress, which is important.
Lizzy: Great pics! New hair is looking good! Maybe one day we could all meet in NYC for lunch or something and you could give us an insider tour! Sorry about your favorite news anchor, but you are right, these things make us appreciate how precious time is. It is funny how people you don't even know can become such an integral part of your daily life, so much so that you miss them when they are gone.
Texas: I'm not sure about how you could not make the playoffs with only two losses. That sounds a little weird to me too. Maybe the coach isn't counting on winning all four of the remaining games. Maybe if the girls do, they have a shot! Cheer loudly Mom!!!!
Iowa: So glad to hear from you!! Very glad that you are doing well. Take it easy though!!
Lady: OMG, that video was HILARIOUS!!!! BTW, I graduated high school in 1980 and I remember that song, so I am must be old as dirt too...LOL!! Or as my kids tell me...I am ANCIENT! I am sooo happy for BAMA football that you will be bald again this season...going to win a National Championship with all that baldness....LOL!
Have a great day!
Debbi
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