August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Just wanted to check in. My first T/C was pretty uneventful yesterday. Taxotere was fine, no reactions and I iced my nails and watched Netflix on my Mom's iPad. Cytoxan was good too but I felt a bit queasy about half way through. TMI but I had some diarrhea and after that felt a lot better. I came home, ate a turkey burger, drank a bunch of water and felt OK. Just laid low for the rest of the day. So far no major nausea to complain of, I'm taking Emend and Decadron. I'm a little bit achy but not too bad. I go in for my Neulasta shot at 11 and I'm hoping that I don't get much bone pain. I'm taking Claritin just in case. I have the feeling that I'm going to feel worse before I feel better but at least I have one down, 3 to go!
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ckptry - they gave me zofran before the tx. But nothing to take home. So I will call my doc on Monday and tell him how I did this weekend and have him add something, cause I definitely will not be able to work feeling like I am gonna be sick all the time, and with what I do (work in an Adult Day Center for mentally and physically disabled), there is no way I will not get sick. Between the diaper changes, drool, spit, smells, and then those that like to bring there food up again. I had enough problems with smells before this round, ugh. They only gave me the Emend and Decadron. Nothing for long lasting after Monday. But I will get that fixed ASAP.
Wherria - Friends have problems too, and sometimes there problems seem huge to them like our BC feels huge to us.
Gingerbrew - Wow that you could say that to your friend, but that only means you guys must have a wonderful relationship. Its great that you have that one person that you can be so frank with and they dont get upset.
Well, woke up this morning feeling like poo, took all my meds except my shot, gonna do that now, and I feel worse now that I have taken the meds, I wonder if I am having a reaction to one of the meds. Maybe the Emend, I havent ever taken that before, but all the rest I have. Who knows. Anyways, gonna take my compazene now and just chill out for the day. Hope everyone has a good day/weekend.
Hugs to all!
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JSW19- I found that when i felt any nausea it was due to the fact that i was hungry so i also did a lot of small meals/snacks. Also the boost replacement meal shakes helped, i would down 1/2 one if i felt a litle ill and it'd go away.
SWEENEY- LOVE THIS IDEA! (i am totally gonna go into town and look for that book)
- I am a lousy house keeper, my parents are hoarders (really they are) and so i just have clutter everywhere. Not nasty dirty just lived in.
- I am a laid back parent- i love doing art with my kids and READING to them. I co-sleep, which lots of people find weird. But we were NEVER allowed to go into my parents room as children and i hated it, because i breastfed both kids it just sorta progressed into them never leaving.
- I LOVE reading, just dont find the time these days so i listen to books on CD while i clean. (My restroom, kitchen and kid's room are spotless)
- My parents are Deaf and i grew up in the Deaf culture, but honestly i am too shy to try to get back into here!
- i've been married for almost 10 yrs, married the love of my life and wouldnt have asked for anyone better (til after my dx when he confessed to cheating lol)
- i really want to get a tatoo but my fear of needles is preventing me from doing so,i went as far as actually going into the tatoo shop, but chickened out
- i dont own any furniture lol- we had just moved and wanted a "fresh start" we were saving up to get decent stuff. We sleep on an airmattress!!! (funny we do have a mattress, but the day we were moving it rained so we left it at my sisters house and havent had the chance to get it!)
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katharinenaomi- eat bananas for the loose stools
helped me A LOT!kimmie- yeah i think your job would make me feel sick too, hopefully you get that under control before you have to be back at work
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Sweeney great idea. I had to actually stop and think about who I am outside of this. I had been having difficulties doing this even before the BC, maybe it was like a mid-life crisis thing. I kinda got lost in my kids, husband and our business and forgot who I was. I'll have to think more before I actually post a little list.
JSW its awesome your doing well after your first. Im gonna try the eating small meals thing, the problem is with the nausea, I dont feel like eating anything because I am afraid I will just not keep it down. But I guess if I dont try, I wont know. I hate these darn steroids, I slept fine last night, but I am overly hot with them, and that makes me even more irritable with the nausousness.
I guess everyone reacts differently to the same meds. I didnt have this many issues at the beginning with the Taxol and Tykerb, only after having the first 12 wks did I seem to get really bad. Well hopefully it will all get better.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement and great advice.
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JSW: I'm glad you were able to complete chemo take 2. How many milligrams of ambien do you take? I have 10m pills that I cut in half (I needed them after diagnosis as I was too worried to sleep). I tried a ½ pill one night with the steroids but that did not help. I will sure call the onc to ask about that. Also - like you, I never had a bone scan. I was surprised since everyone here talks about them, but when I asked, my onc said that the PET scan takes care of that. It is worth asking though since we all seem to be given different information at times.
Sweeny: I love your question and knowing more about you other than that you are on the same stinky bus as me. Here are some about me's...
I am very introverted and uncomfortable in groups where I don't know anyone.
I think I stopped growing in middle school. I'm only 5 ‘1 and small boned.
I like to be in control and have a plan of action for everything.
I love to travel. My stepfather is a retired airline pilot. I took advantage of being to travel for very little money when I was in college. I used to fly first class to Europe for $20!
I have an awful sweet tooth and am a closet sweet eater. If anyone knew how much sweets I could eat at one sitting it might shock them.
If I changed professions I think I might like to work in a bakery. I don't want to own one and have all of the responsibility but I'd love to bake for a living. Preferably part-time because I think if you do anything you love too much it is not as fun anymore.
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KatherineNaomi, I'm glad to hear you are doing well after your first treatment. Good luck with your neulasta today.
Texasrose, I have never been pregnant but I have heard from pregnant friends that eating small meals and making sure you don't ever get really hungry helped with their pregnancy nausea. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try that with this and so far it seems to be working. Kimmie if you are not feeling great try really small meals and simple things like rice, applesauce, toast, nothing too exciting. If you are able to keep those down you can move onto other things. Supplement drinks are also good, like the Boost that Texasrose mentioned or I am fond of the Carnation Instant Breakfast powders that you mix with milk. That will help get you some protein and vitamins without having to eat too much and should fill up your stomach a bit too.
Ann, I take the full 10mg Ambien pill. Last night it helped me fall asleep but then I did wake up a couple of times during the night which doesn't usually happen. I was able to get back to sleep pretty quickly though.
Sweeney, Great idea! Here are some things about me.
My husband and I started dating in 2004 and got married in 2008. We met in graduate school, we were both studying for Ph.D.s in Clinical Psychology. I graduated in 2007 but after some setbacks with data collection and going on internship (the last component of the degree), my husband probably won't graduate until 2012.
I don't really like to travel. I much prefer to stay home and in general I guess I'm just a big homebody. Fortunately my husband feels the same way.
I love dark chocolate. I've actually become kind of a chocolate snob. Hershey's dark chocolate - that stuff is crap. Ghiradelli and Godiva are two of my favorites.
When I was a kid I was super introverted. As I have gotten older I have become more extroverted but at this point I am really probably at the middle of the introversion/extraversion scale. People usually think I am more introverted than I am because it takes me a while to warm up and get chatty.
I love living in the south and the warm weather that goes with it. I much prefer our blazing hot summers to cold, snowy winters. However, I started knitting a few years ago and discovered that my favorite things to knit are sweaters and cardigans. So I do occasionally wish I lived somewhere cold where I could wear sweaters every day. But I am "making it work" (love Tim Gunn) by just making lightweight cardigans that I can wear in the overly air-conditioned buildings that we have around here.
I watch a ton of TV (but at least I knit while watching) and I also love to read and to do crossword puzzles.
I never had a pet while growing up. My senior year of college my boyfriend talked me into getting a cat - he wanted a kitten but I wanted an adult cat. We picked out an adult cat, named her Janie, and broke up 2 weeks later. In the end I got Janie and he got himself a couple of kittens. That was 12 years ago and I still love my little Janie to bits. In retrospect the relationship with that boyfriend was not a very good one but I got Janie out of the deal so I'm happy. Now I can't imagine life without a pet.
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JSW: I haven't had a bone scan either. I've had two CTs, an MRI and a PET Scan. Not sure why a bone scan wasn't ordered unless they felt like with all the other tests and no symptoms, a bone problem wasn't likely? If I think about it, I'll ask the doc when I see him Tuesday when I go for my first treatment.
Lizzy: They said my liver spot was a benign hermangioma (sp?), a common condition. The lung spot(s) were from an old infection. I guess they can look at the areas and tell what they are. Both were first found on CT and then looked at again via MRI and PET scan. My docs all said that EVERYBODY has these weird looking spots in their bodies they just never know it because they don't have the rigorous testing that we lucky BC patients have.
All: Has anybody heard of anything that can save/help your lashes and brows besides the $50 stuff. That's a little high for my budget, but I'll spend it if it works. For some reason, losing my brows and lashes freaks me out more than being bald. Good riddance to the rest of the hair I'll lose (underarms, legs, etc.)
Sweeney: Love your idea of who we are besides BC. I'll send my answer when I have more time to think it over. I'm off to get my hair cut short in anticipation of my future baldness.
Regina
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All- saw this on another thread... possibly a help for fingers and toes.
http://www.elastogel.com/category_details.php?category_id=14&page=1
Liz- good vibes from Chicago.
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Hey, I just got my free scarf from goodwishes@franceluxe.com and i LOVE IT!! To whomever gave me the heads up on this great company i say thanks thanks thanks and if you still want to give away the pink one you have I'll take it. Just PM me ASAP! My new hairbrush is a lint roller!0
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KatherineNaomi- I really think you did the best thing in taking it easy day 1. JSW seems to have done the same thing. I really think, and could be wrong, working out day 1 races up our system and races chemo through our bodies thereby causing faster and more immediate SE's. I think the first few days after tx it is very good to take it easy and drink water...whadda life!!!
Ginger: I think it is great that you talked to your friend about your needs. All kinds of relationships go to waste because of lack of communication. It might, in the end, test the strength of the relationship but better to find out.
Ladyinbama: I got fake eyebrows and fake eyelashes at a site online. If you want the address, PM me and I will send it. I don't know anything that saves them, however. I also found a site that sells human hair eyebrows! You are 100% correct about the rigorous testing and them finding things that were always there/indicative of a past trauma. I realized also when I was young we were playing Evil Kinevil with a makeshift ramp and I sped up my bike as fast as possible, went right up the ramp and while airborne the bike went sideways and I hit the ground, just about head first! I still have a scar near my brow to show for that little accident! There goes my father, rushing me to the ER again only this time with blood streaming down my face! I am so lucky I had such a great dad!
Zenith: thank you so much for your words on my bone scan spook! I would not go to Stage IV unless someone told me I was a Stage IV....I guess mets makes me a IV? If Lance Armstrong can be testicular, lung and brain cancer, hopefully I can handle skull mets if that is what it turns out to be! The other thing I always bear in mind is no one ever told me I would be here forever. Unfortunately BC makes us confront our mortality...and I did not want to see 90 anyway!!!!!!!
JSW: glad things seem to be going ok for you. It is always nice to have things go BETTER than expected!
All: I have been researching skull cancer, of course, and it seems as if I fractured it either in the car crash, slammin' sledding accident (!), or when doing my bike tricks, that it should have repaired itself by now and not show up on a bone scan? Who knows...I am sure "they" know as much as I do!
Wherria: we are all prone to overreact to our friends and it is because our own emotions are in the blender every day with this dx. Better to talk to us than her anyway! We are all where you are and our friends are not. This is the unload spot!!!!!
I hope you all are having a great weekend!
Your FEARLESS Leader....and, no, skull mets will NOT scare me either!
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Sweeney- great book, great idea!
Here goes:- I love comedies, writing comedies and writing
- I could live on sushi
- I have been to 3 continents but only lived in the US
- I was the only woman on the trading floor when I hit Wall St at the tender age of 28 and infiltrated the OLD BOYS SCHOOL! I am not joking when I tell you I was very attractive and never had a single thing to do with anyone I worked with as I had to fight for my right to be there! I made more in a month than I do in a year now! I am a sick trader and was the only female broker in the history of my firm to be invited to a top producers night----Morton's NYC...Johnnie Walker Blue shots and a tab of $7K for 10 people!
- I lost a big love of my life in 9/11 and I was grateful enough to not be at work that fateful day when World Trade Center came down but I still have my business cards, note pads with my name and address of my firm in World Trade Center and my pics from the day after where the building remains are still smoking.
- I am Irish and Italian...a good mix for looks, bad for temper!
- I collect old stock certificates and take black and whites of NYC and make them into all kinds of industrial art
- I love NYC and am a huge Yankee fan
- I feel like I still have a lot of living to do and don't want to stop just yet
- I was engaged twice and broke both of them off...I like my freedom and don't like answering to anyone...sorry...this is me!
- I have a man journal chronicling over 300 of first dates....very funny read and perhaps I will publish it one day
- I speak Japanese and some Mandarin Chinese
- I guess I am a cougar as I have deep affection for my friend who is 12 years younger!
- I love sports cars
- I used to body build and have a home gym and still do lift weights. I also taught Step and did some personal training
- Music...from Pavarotti to Guns N Roses to Jay Z
This might be overshare but my life has been multi-faceted and I have had fun! Oh yea...in my NYC days I did very much like to party, come home to CT to sleep on the weekends so I could get ready for my during-the-week life in NY! 9/11 ruined my head, took my boyfriend and damn near ruined my business.
Now do you have any reason to question why I am....
Your FEARLESS Leader?!
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For those of you who can't take the SMELLS: The diaper comment reminded me of a little trick I used to use when I was pregnant and changing diapers. A little bit of Vicks vapo-rub under the nose. SERIOUSLY - it does help!
Also when I was in labor, they had me sniffing alcohol wipes to quell the short term nausea during the transition part of labor. A friend said they did this for her in the hospital too as she came out of anesthesia and was nauseous.
Hope it helps somebody! I'm going to keep the vicks handy - cause DH made the kids eggs a couple of days after my treatment and I had to run back into the bedroom because of the smell of food!
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zenith - check your pm. I just sent you one. And yes, still have the pink head scarf. It is yours!
Edited to add - I also have a few multi colored bandana's with pink as the main color if anyone is interested. They are all clean - I washed them myself - if interested - then pm me and I will get them in the mail. I am giving them away as I no longer need, and thought that those of you just starting might be interested.
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texas - the antinauseas around the clock if you feel that you aren't keeping on top of the nausea is what I was told. For me, the comp would start to wear off, I'd try to be brave and find myself quite sick.....I talked to the nurse and she said "then keep taking it every six hours!" Oddly, I found that I didn't need it through the night after the first 48 hours, so maybe not round the clock but if you stop and have uncontrolled pukes, then it's a sign next time to keep to a schedule. I hate the darned stuff - it's so constipating; that's why I tried to back off of it.
We'll see how this time goes. I have a game plan in place now, but of course it may be TOTALLY different this time. I feel like I'm going through a whole bunch of early pregnancies all in a row! =:O My four kids were all different with how I felt first trimester.........
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I like the "I am not my BC" idea. Sort of like the 10 Random Facebook things.
1. I homeschool my four kids. Don't ask me how long it will go on; just taking it year by year, day by day. They are ages 6 to 13.
2. I buy/sell antiques with my husband and this is how we met back in 1991 when I was in college.
I sell on Ruby Lane (Rainbow Round My Shoulder is my store name) and on Ecrater (Somewhere In My Memories) and on Bonanzle (Little Bitta This Little Bitta That)3. I'm a doll artist - using Swiss dollmaker Sasha Morgenthaler's original doll molds, I strip them down and remake them into one of a kind studio Sasha dolls. I love doing it; it started as something I did for myself until I had people begging me to buy them. I have done it since 2004. My website is Spring Valley Studios (oursashadolls.com)
4. I have 49 or so chickens of all different ages and we sell eggs.
5. I love silent movies and part of my "therapy" during chemo when I can't sleep is working on adding new musical scores to some great silent films.
6. I also love old music. When I was a teenager, my parents used to say I was born too late. I love early jazz and pop, big band and swing.
7. I haveh a completely insane sense of humor and have been known to fall out of bed, spit water across the room or out my nose or lay on the floor and howl.
8. I have ADD and can be really scatty sometimes - my house is a mess; I hate cleaning. It's not dirty, just very cluttered (all those antiques and such.....;)
9. I'm a Christian and I believe in miracles - because I've seen them!
10. I once sold an $8000 doll for a friend to a lady in England. She decided to come and get it; so she hopped a plane from London to NY and we met at the train station; she collected her doll and went back home. We still keep in touch. Selling is never dull!
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I just wanted to say that my 2nd Neulasta shot was less intense than the first. I still have some pain in my legs, but not nearly as bad as the first time - this is bearable.
1) I trained in college & graduate school to be an opera singer. I spent much time in Europe (mostly Germany and Austria) trying to get a career started.
2) When I realized that I would never "make it" as an opera singer, I started acting. It was what I had always wanted to do, but thought I was "too fat" to be an actress when i was 13 years old. Now I basically make my living at it.
3) I also work as a "Standardized Patient" at medical schools in Northern California. I am givin symptoms and personality traits and I help train medical students how to deal well with patients. Ironically, I've never gotten to do the case where they have to tell the woman she has breast cancer. Because I'm too young. Maybe next year?
4) When I met my husband, he was my boss at work, he was still legally married to his first wife (separated for 4 years), he was 18 years older than I , and he had another girlfriend. It makes me sound like a home-wrecking skank, but after 8 years of marriage, we have apparently worked it out.
5) I open in the West Coast Premiere of "Jerry Springer: The Opera" in 2 weeks. Holy crap! I still have a lot to learn!
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Took my neulasta shot, not too bad so far, although I gotta say I can handle the achies better than the nausousness. Having the pains in the same areas I did before, hips and down.... will see how the rest of the weekend goes. Nap time !!!!
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Sweeney, great idea! I love learning more about everyone. I'll have to check out the book.
Like CalamatyKel I'm also a homeschooling Mom of 4. I have 3 boys, 9, 7 and 5 and a 2 year old girl. I'm so grateful we were done having kids before this happened. I'm married to my best friend and we just celebrated our 10th anniversary last December. He's incredibly supportive, for example he took all the kids to the park this afternoon so I could rest in peace and quiet. What a guy! I'm very close with my parents and brother and his wife and we all live within a few blocks of each other. We're also Jehovah's Witnesses. Our strong faith has been my lifeline through all this. As Philippians 4:6, 7 says: "Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus." I also love photography. I got my first DSLR a couple years ago and I've been having fun learning and enjoying this creative outlet. I love to read and try to read several new books each month. I love fall and am looking forward to the cooler weather, fall foliage, apple season and sweaters. Love it! And because I like to share here are my sweeties. I'd love to see photos of you and yours too!
Maxwell, Noah, James and Isabelle...
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katherinenaomi- beautiful... I love the shot of Maxwell.
Lizzy- you certainly can't say you haven't lived. 9/11... I don't know what to say. Do the book. I'd buy it. (c: Take care and warm thoughts.
calamtykel- nasty experience with that 'gentleman", my heart would have been pounding, you can't reason with someone like that, thank goodness you and kiddos are okay.
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Katherine: what awesome photos! Your kids could model.
How are you planning school this year? We take a break for the summer but will be starting up next week (God willing!) I have CD programs for both my older kids' maths, so that's covered and they're ahead to begin with in that; and just ordered Switched on Schoolhouse for my 13 year old's science program. My junior high science teacher sister in law offered to help for her science as well, dissections and such, so I don't have to deal with that this year. Just hoping I can keep up with the younger ones. My 8 year old taught herself to read at age 5, but my 6 year old is struggling - he's the first of my kids to not be an early reader, so that will be a challenge this year, working with him. My 12 year old son is good at working independently....but it will still all require organization and time on my part. Praying for the grace to get thru!
I figure if we lose some time, we lose some time.......trying not to sweat it.
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calamitykel- WOW an 8,000 doll!?!?! ppl freak when they find out i paid $300 for one (which my daughter so lovingly diminished the value by ripping out its eyelashes and writing on it!)
kathrine and calamity- I had realy hoped to home school my children, i do "work with them" to give their education a more well rounded balance- i find public school to be 1 dementional (teachingthe test and such) But mine are 5 and 2 right now. My 5 year old is smart! (out smarts me all the time!) Example she wanted to glue 2 pieces of wood together that she had painted, she tried elmers glue. I told her that elmers is best for paper not wood. "well mom papre is made from wood so elmers will work" Then we went into a whole disscussion on the density and absorbion of glue through the pores.... AHHHH she's loving her first week of school! Also another thing in common I am spiritual. He is my rock especially right now! (partly why i want to home school too)
Kathrine your children are beautiful! I am assumming you took the pics (no one captures our kids like ourselves)
Kimmie- glad its not too bad! ENJOY YOUR NAP! (i wanna nap too)
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Thanks girls!
CalamtyKel, we're hoping to start school next week too. The older kids can work a bit more independently now (with some direction) so I'm hoping that will allow me plenty of time to work with my special needs kindergartner. My 7 year old is reading beautifully now but he did struggle a bit last year. What worked for us was going through the book "Reading Made Easy" by Valerie Bendt. It was quick and easy and it just made things click for him. I'm hoping that the chemo fatigue doesn't slow down our schedule too much this year but we'll do our best.
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Hi Lisa, Interesting...my oldest daughter is 27. She bemoans her singleness constantly and the fact that guys her age don't want to commit etc. Told me last week she is seeing a guy that is 39. She said older guys know what they want and treat you well. (No you are not a homewrecking skank). Glad you are doing well, we are both triple positive. Beth
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I'm going to look for the reading book you used. Last year I used "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons". It worked like a charm for my youngest daughter. She got through less than half the lessons and then took off and was suddenly reading at the age of 5. But it doesn't come as easily for my youngest so maybe we need a new approach. It's like he gets it and then the next day he doesn't. Fortunately he seems to be really strong in math, so that helps!
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I have 3 children 23, 20, and 15. My 15 yr old lives with me, my 20 with his dad, and my 23 yr old with her husband (expecting first child in January).
Homeschooling is so much fun. I did my oldest from grade 3 thru 8th. I was extremely intimidated to try highschool. But the homeschooling paid off. She went into all Honors and AP courses in the 9th grade and as on deans list the entire time in high school. She ended up with scholorship offers to many colleges. I wanted to school my youngest, but he was so head strong and independent in a bad way. He didnt listen for crap, figured it was a Mom syndrome and decided others more qualified would do better. Now I wonder, he has been bored for years and after barely passing the last 3 yrs in a row (he is 15 and in 10th) wanted me to sign off on a AP Psycology class. He told me he needed a challenge and felt as if this would do it. I hate to think that I gave up to easy with him and not schooling him... sigh... cant take back the ifs.
I am currently going to college to get my degree in Graphic Arts. Gave up finishing my degree to stay home and take care of my children. So after 18 yrs of being home, I have ventured out into the work force and into college again, what a wake up call.
My middle child has cerebral palsy and after taking care of him for almost 18 yrs I was wiped out, lost myself, and had a breakdown of sorts. My husband (ex now) had a heart attack and stroke at age 40, and in the process of his recovery we pretty much lost our business. Everything kinda went down hill from there.
My ex and I finalized our divorce in April, right in the middle of this mess of my health issues. He is already engaged to someone else and is due to be married next April. Kinda ironic, wonder if they made it the day our divorce was actually finalized.
I love to read. I have a Kindle and download my books to there. It is great. I read anything from sci fi to romance and love anything mystery... Agatha Christie to Terri Gerritsen, and the guy who did Di Vinci Code (his name excapes me at the moment).
I play WoW with my son... World of Warcraft. Its fun and allows me to meet new people, since I am kinda homebody. Believe it or not I am an introvert as well. I love all other kinds of games as well.
I am kind, compassionate and giving. I have a somewhat tenuous relationship with God at the moment. With everything that I have gone thru over the last 3.5 yrs, I am very angry. He and I still talk, I just feel like he abandoned me, which I know deep down is not the case, but its just been so difficult. I am Pentacostal and I do still pray, but my church going has been sporadic. Feeling tired and ill doesnt help much.
I stink at keeping house now that I am divorced, it was such a demand when I was married that now, I dont care. Well sorta dont care... it does drive me crazy at times, and then I go into a frenzy of cleaning and drive my son crazy.
I guess that is plenty. I didnt realize I had typed so much. Sorry to be so long winded.
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OK Sweeney, I'll add the About Me stuff, but I feel rather boring after reading some of the other bios:
*I had a "functional" childhood with parents who loved each other deeply; I have one older brother and one younger sister. We were not poor, but always had to pinch pennies. We had pets, friends and yards to play in. All in all, a good childhood.
*Nevertheless, I managed to stray from the straight and narrow and sow a few wild oats in my late teens, early 20s. Moved into my own place at 19, worked 2 jobs, went to night school and partied hard until I almost killed myself; came to my senses, met a nice man and married at 26 (my husband was 35, divorced, with two boys, 3 and 6).
*All the usual struggles of starting a new life with a husband and two stepkids who hated me because their mother told them to, but it all worked out into a good marriage. Quit work at age 32 to return to college, graduated with honors at 34. Like Lizzy, I'm a writer (was a Journalism major). Worked some jobs I enjoyed, managed a non-profit, edited a magazine, worked for a country club, a university, and was working for a corporation in their marketing dept. when my world crumbled when I was 44 and my husband died suddenly. He and I were avid golfers and he was playing in a member/member tournament at the club (which I was supposed to be playing in also but my partner cancelled), and he had a heart attack on the golf course. I spent the next 4 years grieving, drinking and eating, gained 60 pounds, almost died twice, long story short, sobered up and got my life back on track. I sometimes think I set myself up for BC with my lifestyle in those years.
*Left my job to care for my mother who had a stroke, CHF, diabetes and kidney failure. I took her to thrice weekly dialysis and other doctor's appointments and stuff for about 3 years until her death in Nov. 2008. After taking care of her "estate" and getting things in order (I was executrix), I decided it was time for me. I'd been widowed 7 years and taking care of mother for 3.
*So I set off on a search for a man to have some fun with. And just my luck, I met somebody pretty quickly and fell madly in love before I ever had a chance to test the waters very much (not that I'm complaining). My husband and I met online, we lived 75 miles apart so we had a weekend relationship but it moved pretty quickly and we married last October. He also has two kids, 12 yr. old boy and 14 yr. old girl. So I'm raising two more kids! And I've never had any biological kids. Go figure.
*All my friend were happy for me and said "you deserve happiness" after all I'd been through the last few years. I agreed
And along came breast cancer and here I am with you guys. Gosh, this ended up being much longer than I intended for it to be! Sorry about that. Bottom line: I've had, and still have, a blessed life. I'm happy, healthy (except for having cancer!) and have everything I need. And I plan on keeping on living this life. My husband says "it didn't take me 50 years to find you just to lose you so soon". I told him I intend to stick around to be here to nag him when he is 85!
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I just want to chime in here....the last decade I lost my business, my father, my boyfriend in 9/11, and 5 years later met a man that I was completely in love with and things did not turn out so well....a lot of power struggles. I walked away from the relationship finally but was sick without him He would attempt to contact me and I just refused but, in retrospect, if I had to do it all over again, I still would have walked away from him but I was madly in love with him just the same but it was an unhealthy situation. Much like Lisa, when we met he was not completely available either. If I fought it out, I would have won but I just had to walk. I remember waking up in the middle of the night sick, literally, to my stomach, missing him. It was the hardest break up ever and although I am now over it and am,for the most part, glad it ended, my dyslexic heart caused me to fall for the wrong man and I lost total confidence in my ability to make good choice again. Finally I had to take a job in marketing in a big corporation for a while to regroup. In the end, this past decade was not good at all and here comes bc...makes one wonder what really causes it, right?! Just had to let you all know I am human and had my losses also.
I also spent several years fighting the medical industrial complex over the care of both of my parents but moreso my mother. My father died of lung cancer some 10 years ago and my mom is still hanging on, albeit by a thread. My brother and sister have kids and families so I was the "one" to be there for my parents. I am the youngest and I put up a good fight!
I had several plates in the air for a long time. Does bc force us to reevaluate our lives? I wonder! Melissa Etheridge said she felt she got bc b/c her life was out of balance. Was she right? I was pissed when I first heard her say that but when I look more closely at the past decade, I am not sure she is not onto something!
Your FEARLESS Leader!
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A bit about me - I have two adult children ages 31 and 25. My 31 year old is a pharmacist (loads of info on these drugs) and 25 year old is a computer specialist who lives with us. We have a 5 year plan to retire and bought a retirement home in phoenix AZ where the 31 year old lives in Feb. of this year. My DH is a college professor and I am a foster care supervisor. DH has diabetes and high blood pressure but he is a "model patient" and it is under control. When I got the BC DX it really rocked my world. Things seemed to be going smoothly then, bam - test after test - so many other shoes dropping you'd think I was a caterpillar. The 31 year old just got divorced too so that was a major loss. No grandkids yet. My eldest son decided to rent our retirement home from us rather than manage renters and that helps. My 25 year old is somewhat of an introvert and except for going to work he doesn't leave the house much. He plays the world of war craft but doesn't have much of a social life. I don't have a pet but plan to have a dog or two in retirement. I have to be a "fearless leader" at work but find that BC often brings out the pessimistic and dark humor side of my character. I am on medical leave until Feb. as I have to have a complete hysterectomy after chemo is done. DH of 34 years has been my rock. He is from another country and all the relatives on that side are far away. My mom chose to live near us and moved here when we did. She's not in the best of health but refuses to see a doctor for over 4 years now.
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Good morning chemo - sabis!!!!!!! Good day to all of you-
This week Ladyinbama and your very own fearless leader (and Adey?!) should be joining you in this chemoland...sort of like Wonderland only horrifying!!!!!! I appreciate you all contributing your stories and they were all fascinating. When I read the stories of each of us it becomes painfully clear the medical community hase a huge challenge in dealing with us!!!!!!!! Joking!!! More importantly, and where I was really going with that comment (!), is figuring out commonalities and trying to figure it all out.
In any case, what our sharing also did was remind me what a special group and a special thread we have here and I appreciate you all for sharing, so unabashedly, about yourselves and about everything you have been going through with chemo. This thread has become so much more than I ever expected it to be and that is entirely because of you all.
I thank you all for being so wonderful!!!!!!
Finally, we are going to give out the weekly Super ChemoSabi cape! Every week we are going to honor one person who had a really tough time and made it through. I am going to go back 3 weeks and give it to Wherria and then last week it went to Sweeney and now this week I think it should go to Calamtykel for surviving that road rage and keeping her 4 children safe and secure. That road rage that I shared with you scared me beyond belief; I had no idea what I drove into the middle of. Consequently, we have several capes so we can nominate more than one person each week!!!!!!!!!! I have an endless supply of capes for our chemosabis! Let me know what you all think.
I wish you all strength this week and the ability to see this is a means to an end. This, too, shall pass,
Your FEARLESS Leader
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