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You know youre a cancer patient when....

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  • BrendaAreYouA4
    BrendaAreYouA4 Member Posts: 40
    edited August 2010
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    you know you have cancer when your teenage children rub and kiss your head and tell you they like you better bald

  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 1,155
    edited August 2010
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    This thread is cracking me up!!!  Here's another good one...

    when you write on your Facebook status "I pooped" (at a furniture store) instead of "I was pooped"  LOL!!!  (chemo brain is real). 

  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited August 2010
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    ---when your husband and any visitors must wear sweat shirt hoodies and pants to survive in the house.  Because after all:

    They can put on more clothes to keep warm than you can take off to get cool.

    You have a folding fan (beautiful ones) for each size purse.  and one in the car, desk, bedside table, etc etc.

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 119
    edited August 2010
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    .... when you have you pharmacy on speed dial.

    ... when you start punching the numbers for the onc office or the pharmacy before the menu kicks in because you already know what the electronic lady is going to say.

    BTW - Weesa, the volumizing shampoo was a great hint.  At least I have something real that has real body to it!!! 

  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 82
    edited August 2010
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    When your trip to Victoria Secret for new bras post exchange turns into an afternoon adventure.

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 119
    edited August 2010
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    You print off studies (two) and take them in to share with your onc.

  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 288
    edited August 2010
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    This thread makes me smile.

  • Latte
    Latte Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2010
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    you realize how much nose hairs keep the drips inside your nostrils.

    your 2-yr old likes to touch your head and say "ooh prickly"

  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 138
    edited August 2010
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    When you come home from a drive-thru-mx and your 4 year old grandson looks up at you and says (Grandma, where are your boobs?) and you tell him they are in a jar at the dr's office and every time you see him after that he asks when you are getting them back.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited August 2010
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    When your grandson says to you 'Did the doctor cut off your boob and throw it in the bin?'

    When your grandson is concerned in case people laugh at you because you have one boob.

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929
    edited August 2010
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    When, in your clinic where every patient has an 8-numeral ID number, your pcp just says "Hello" and calls up your file on the computer without asking for your card.

    Leah

  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 124
    edited August 2010
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    you know you are a cancer patient when you start to consider buying a bigger microwave just because you cannot fit another prescription bottle on top of the one you have.

  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 124
    edited August 2010
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    oh oh, or

    you know you are a cancer patient when you can shampoo, condition, and style without the use of water, shampoo, conditioner, gel, curling irons, hot rollers or perms. 

    ................realizing your whole body is just more scalp.

  • dutchgirl6
    dutchgirl6 Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2010
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    ,,,when your shopping cart has baby wipes and Gerber strained prunes, and the youngest person in your household is 20

  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 124
    edited August 2010
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    when "guys" at work catch you free wheel massaging your TE's cause your pits feel tight today.

    hey......my office is MY OFFICE.

  • misssophiegrey
    misssophiegrey Member Posts: 10
    edited August 2010
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    You know you're a breast cancer patient when you used to worry your nipples would show through that white t-shirt, and now after BMX, you worry that you don't have any nipples to show through that white t-shirt...
  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 388
    edited August 2010
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    LMAO....I really love this thread! 

    When you get dressed, leave the house and realize you forgot your boobs at home..............

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 78
    edited August 2010
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    When the man driving the car in the next lane over is looking oddly at you because you are taking advantage of the red light to do a little lymphatic drainage massage.

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 78
    edited August 2010
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    when you sniff all over the house thinking the cat has brought in something yucky for you to admire, and finally you realize the gross smell is coming from your own chest from something turning necrotic.

  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 288
    edited August 2010
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    ....when you don't have to worry about getting lice.

  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 2,007
    edited August 2010
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    When you willing to go out in public in a tank top and no foobs.

  • Ca1Ripken
    Ca1Ripken Member Posts: 829
    edited August 2010
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    Oh weesa.... sorry!! 

    When there are 3 men in your house... and you have the least amount of hair!

    When you pull out your tupperware container of medications in front of friends/family, they look shocked, and ask "are those all your pills?" 

    You have to leave the house in 30 minutes for an appointment, and you still haven't had a shower! 

  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 124
    edited August 2010
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    you know you are a cancer patient when your housecleaning standards take a complete nose dive, and you are finally ok with writing reminder notes to yourself in the dust.

  • busqueen
    busqueen Member Posts: 37
    edited August 2010
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    When you've totally traumatized your teenaged son by whipping off your 'boobs' as soon as you walk in the door....repeatedly...hehe

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010
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    ...when, even though you live in Las Vegas and it's 110 degrees outside, you've stopped wearing anti-perspirant- either because you're in radiation and you can't or because you're just too paranoid that it causes breast cancer.

     ...when your bathroom has become a mini-labratory for your own home potions of radiation creams and "natural" deodorants.

    ...when you stand in drug stores obsessively reading labels searching for evidence of "parabens" in all your creams, lotions, cosmetics, and supplements.

    ...when you can be blonde, brunette, and bald all in the same day.

    ...when you lose sleep trying to figure out what, exactly, is safe for you to eat and drink?!?  Antioxidants?  Dairy?  Red meat?  Green tea?  Arrrrrgh!!!!!

    ...when you know what BIRADS, TRAM, DIEP, BRCA, and other obscure acronyms mean.

    ...when you have chemo brain so bad you can't remember your kids' name and you just have to call him "Hey you!!"  

    ...when you've shown your breasts to so many people you don't care how many medical students are invited to participate in your treatment, they might as well learn, right?!  

    Wow ladies, we need to contact a publisher!!  :)

  • redsoxfan
    redsoxfan Member Posts: 63
    edited August 2010
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    You're happy for a traffic jam because it's easier for you to put some more slather on your breast on the way home after rads.

  • misssophiegrey
    misssophiegrey Member Posts: 10
    edited August 2010
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    You know you're a cancer patient when the snotty nurse at the oncologist's office tells you to get on the scale and you say "Um, I was just weighed yesterday." and she says loudly "Patient refused weigh-in!" and you know you will take her and her clipboard down if she says one more thing.  (I used to be so compliant!)

  • winter1NY
    winter1NY Member Posts: 20
    edited August 2010
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    You know you are a cancer patient when after several surgeries and umpteenth visits to ps office all modesty goes out the window as in the other day when rather than running for the changing room to put on "the gown" as I did in the beginning, I took off my blouse/bra and then an interesting travel mag grabbed my attention (featuring trip DH said he will take me on when this is all over)  so ps opened door and there I was topless (reading glasses on of course ) and he chuckled and said "I guess we know each other well enough now"         LOL

  • wonderland
    wonderland Member Posts: 2,807
    edited August 2010
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    When someone tells you "You're so Strong" and all you can think about how someone on this Board has interpreted that (it really means: Your life sucks and I'm glad I'm not you!)

    I wish I could remember who said that. I would love to let her know that sometimes I think about it during the day just to make me laugh!

  • dutchgirl6
    dutchgirl6 Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2010
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    Wonderland, I love that!  I wonder who the genius was who first said that. 

    You know when you're a breast cancer patient when your nipples (post lumpectomy) resemble Marty Feldman's eyes, each pointing in an opposite direction