Ladies in their 30s
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hello crunchypoodlemama,
I understand what you are saying; it seems that most women in their 30s already have kids. They don't have to deal with the "can I/should I have kids or not?" dilemma. I got diagnosed at 33, am now 34, and will be on tamoxifen for 5 years which means I cannot get pregnant until age 39. Just like hopeful34 mentioned, my oncologist said that I could stay on Tamox for 2 years, stop and get pregnant, then start Tamox again after the pregnancy.
Ayway, after some talking about the baby issue, my husband and I have made the decision that we won't have kids. We know we will have a fulfilling life without them. I'm surprisingly very at peace with that.
Has anyone else on this board decided not to have them because of BC ?
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I am in the same boat...I am 38 and I do not have children...I am weighing my options as well..
Cancer effects everything...
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Round 3 chemo tomorrow. My premeds are kicking my hinny for some reason this time. It maybe because of the lung removal that was just two weeks ago. I always go to chemo all dressed up heels, makeup and all. I kept telling people the more hair that falls out the shorter theses skirts are gonna get and the hotter my heels will become LOL! You wouldn't believe the looks I get. I think I'm the youngest one there. So all these 60-70 yrs old just look at me like what in the world is this girl doing. I just feel like if I go in my comfy workout clothes I'll already be going in with a bad negative attitude. But if ya look good naturally you feel good too. And I need all the help I can get with that (feeling good). Anyone read the book or seen the movie Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy? I loved it. I felt like I was her in this movie I could relate to it all. I didn't like that she didn't sport the full bald head. I think that by walking around like that as hard as it is its the best way to raise awareness and make it known it happens to us young Mommy's too. I hope all you girls had a great Halloween weekend. Keep fightin like a girl!!!!
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Mandy, Go get 'em Ms. Thang!!! It's always good to shake things up, lol! Obviously you're a "Crazy Sexy Cancer" warrior. Good luck tomorrow!!!
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Lady_Madonna. Thanks Love. I'm hoping all goes well. I've heard that round 3 of chemo is normally the worst. Do you know if this is true? If so why is that so?
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Mandy, you GO, girl!! You rock!!! I love that you dress to the 9's for chemo and show the older ladies how it's done!!
Marion, it sounds like you've made the right decision for you... for now. Don't be surprised if you end up changing your mind down the road... whether you do or don't, it's all good!
To everyone else re: the baby thing... what a difference a day makes. I am now 100% certain I will be a Mommy. I don't yet know or really care how... I just know that it's meant to be.
Today after church I saw my hubby holding the baby of one of our church families. My heart melted... he would be such an amazing Daddy. My mind was already made up before that, but seeing that just confirmed it. I don't care if we have to adopt; I don't care how it happens, but I know that it WILL happen. I feel so much peace and joy about it!
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Mandy, #3 was really tough for me...I ended up having orthostatic hypotension (drastic drop in blood pressure when standing or changing position, probably from not staying hydrated enough) and fell down my stairs, tearing my ankle ligament. Maybe that's when the full, cumulative effect has hit. All the others that follow may be just as bad but at least you are somewhat used to it then and you're just weak and tired. #6 was fantastic- I was sooo excited to be done!! Anyway, if attitude is half the battle I'd say you've got it nailed!
Julia, Yay Mommy and Daddy!! I'm happy for you, and the fact that you don't care how it happens, just that it will is wonderful- cancer is not going to steal that dream away!!!
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I found my rounds of chemo were all about the same- tho progressively a little harder, but 3 wasn't drastically different than 2.
My heart goes out to all my fellow 30-somethings who have their ability/desire to have children affected by bc. My dh and I had already made the decision for him to get a vasectomy in 2009 before I was dx in dec 2008. I can't say our decision was affected by my bc dx, but I think if I was someone not sure whether I wanted to have kids or not, the bc might have influenced the decision. Not passing on the genes, potentially not being there. I have a hard enough time thinking I might not get to grow old with my dh.
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crunchypoodlemama- and all of the women who are worried.... at the age of 17, after being diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and going through all of the treatment, my ovaries shut down and I was told I would not be able to have children.....I have three children now. I am so happy that you are keeping strong and staying positive!
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leelee32, that is wonderful... thank you for sharing that!0
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hi ladies,
posted the other day but lost it, was too lasy to retype it, leelee32 that is great about 3 beautiful children. the weather here is just terrible, wintery, windy and cold. i had a check up yesterday with the oncologist and had a meeting with the surgeon last week re reconstruction. we have a few embryos in fertility clinic and asked the oncoligist if i could use them and he said up to me, he is conservative and recommends waiting five years for all types of cancer as recurrance risk reduces so significantly but medically it does not increase my risk of recurrence. he said studies have shown this to be true for both hormone positive and negative breast cancers that recurrance risk are not increased by pregnancy but he does not wholly beleive it for hormone receipent cancers especially for two or three years.
we too have no children and had already done ivf before cancer diagnosis, it is a tough road with many highs and lows, it is amazing what gives you hope or devastates you even outside of financial costs. i had radiation after chemo so the only type of reconstruction suitable for me is the latti dorsi flap with implant, tram flap not suitable due to lower back often giving me trouble and never having being pregnant as dont have the extra stretch, so back with the surgeon on the 21st of dec as due back at start but going to newyork shopping 4 weeks friday.
marion i thought i had finally accepted children were not in our future a year and a half ago after being turned down for adoption because of cancer and surgeon thinking i would be on hormone suppressants for life due to size of tumour and thinking lynph nodes affected also but a short while later and here i am hoping to have embryos implanted next summer if i can talk dh around.
take care
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crunchypoodlemama I was sad to read that you are worried about not having children yet. I will pray for you with the positive hopes that you are able to fullfill your desire for children.
Hugs Rebecca
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I have a question I forgot to ask my dr today . . . In general, can periods come back while on Tamofixen?
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singletona80, they sure can! Oh boy, something to look forward to, huh?!
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Okay !!! For me that is something I look forward to bcuz I dont have any kids and Hopefeully I will be able to have kids. Thnaks
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You're welcome!! I'm very hopeful for you, and glad our bodies are so resilient!
You're still young... finish up your treatments and give your body some time to recover then check in with your gyn. My hubby is an OB/GYN and he has patients who have had kids after bc/chemo. Hopefully you'll have your little bundle of joy a few years from now!! 0 -
Tamoxifen is actually used as a fertility drug to stimulate ovulation, but you shouldn't be on it while pregnant. I've heard some peoples' oncs suggest being on Tamox for at least 2 years before taking a break and trying to get pregnant, have a child and then resume. I would say its a very personal issue on long you feel can afford to wait.
http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/fertility/tamoxifen.jsp
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Thank you Alyad for the link it was very helpful
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I just had my last chemo tx today, I meet with BS on Friday, schduled for surgery on Tues 11/23 and afterwards rads
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Crunchy poodle mama fingers crossed for you that everything willl work out, have you to go on tamoxifen? if you did not have chemo there is still a good chance of having a baby please god as chemo is inclined to affect us more the closer to 40 we are, i think my ovaries are giving up the ghost, i had horrible night sweats and hot flushes until a few months back and now i have constant bleeding so seeing a gyne about it next week. you could get baseline bloods done for fsh levels that might give some indication not definited though on your egg reserve, the lower the better. sending babydust sprinkles your way.
Singleton80 you are still very young so there is a great chance that your normal cycle will return post tamoxifen, but please be aware that you may enter perimenopause sooner than you otherwise would have but only by 2 or 3 years. congrats on finishing chemo, that is the first and in my opionion worst step done, well done
. i just seen a query on another forum that you had posted and they give you a spongy cushion type thing in the shape of a boob to put inside your soft bra/ sports bra until you are ready for a prosthetic usually 4 to 6 weeks later. i cannot ans question on insurance as i live across the atlantic, sorry. Rads are every day five days a week with sat and sun off, they dont usually recommend any breaks unless due to severe skin breakdown, but you never know you may be finished rads before the hol and then it would be a trible celebration, chemo done, op done and rads done. i dont think they finalise how many rads until after operation histology comes back for definite, they are only giving an indication until then.lady madonna, does your dh think that it is better to wait a few years after diagnosis or treatment to get pregnant (fingers and toes crossed and please god), or would it depend on the type and stage of cancer? if you dont want to answer that i fully understand, i am trying to get a few opinions on it, in general the medical profession are conservative by their own admission, but i am just impatient and sick of waiting, nearly five years now since we started trying and i am soon to be 37 and would really really love to have a baby.
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hope2, since you are er/pr - if you are a few months out of chemo/rads and have started having periods again you may be good to go! His concern is more for us er/pr + gals, as pregnancy stimulates the hormones. Of course, as you know, you can always get a new primary that's hormone +. And who knows whether our bc will come back for any of us so you just have to live your life and do what's best for you! My DH has had many patients with successful pregnancies after bc tx!!
Best of luck to everyone!
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I have a question for those of you who have kids in early grade school. My son, Ryan, is 6 and in first grade. He was a very late potty trainer (4 1/2 before he was completely out of diapers during the day), and still wears an overnight pullup at night. Since my diagnosis, he will go through phases where he wets his pants during the day. This past week he's wet his pants every single day, and today it's been twice already and the day isn't over yet. I know part of the problem is that he doesn't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom, but it seems to be so frequent that I can't help but wonder if it's anxiety or something. He does have some developmental issues, and has been in some sort of therapy (speech, OT, etc....) since he was 2. Do any of your children have similar problems since your diagnosis? I worry that he's more stressed than I think he is. And, if so, how can I help him?
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deenah - My children were 5 and 7 at the time of my DX. Although neither of them displayed wetting their pants. They did act out at times due to the stress. I would consult your peds doc about the wetting as soon as possible and until the appt. keep a journal of drinking and food intake and when the wetting occurs. It might also help to have another adult that your child is close with to talk to him or maybe even take him out for some distraction. I wish you luck.
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Hi Deenah! I have a Ryan, too (he just turned 9)
I had a similar situation w/ my daughter when I was going through treatment. She was 5 at the time, and went through a period where she seemed to wet the bed A LOT. This was unusual for her, since she was potty-trained very early, just before she turned 2, which included staying dry at night. So when this started happening, I took her to the Dr., thinking she may have a UTI. They tested her for an infection, which came back negative. Her Dr. knew what was going on w/ me, so she said stress could bring on bed wetting, even in kids that never wet the bed before.
My husband and I did a little extra reassuring to try to help w/ her anxiety, but the bed wetting stopped just as soon as it started, and we haven't had an issue since.
So, yes, stress could be causing it, but I would talk to his pediatrician.
Good luck to you and Ryan!
Sherrill
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Oh and I just went back several days and WOW lots of new people on this thread! HELLO ladies sorry your here but SO glad to meet you! I just updated my picture it's me and my youngest daughter Makena she is 5 yrs old. I actually have hair YAY ME! I have my first hair appt for a trim and highlight on the 16th and I swear I am like a teenager again I am so so excited! I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
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Tiffany, I need to have my hair colored- I think I finally have enough to make it worthwhile- but I can't even imagine a time I'll be ready for a trim! I look completely ridiculous, I have a full head of thick short hair but I have longer, straight hairs sticking out all over my head and then on the back of my head it's kind of wavy. Can't wait to see where I'll be in four months! Congrats on your appointment- I'm excited for you!
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Hi All...
Just wanted to say hello...
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Hi Sohard, nice profile pic,hope ur doing well, how are ur treatments going
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Has anyone finished chemo and lost all the weight they gained, i still have one chemo and the weight is just creeping up higher and higher, i cant control the eating, due to nausea,etc i just dont get full. advice anyone? and if someone mentions exercise....no can do,im just exhausted all the time!
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Red - I finished chemo about 6 weeks ago and lost the weight I gained. I did a huge overhaul to my diet and that could be a reason why. I also started Tamoxifen a month ago and have not noticed weight gain at all.
A long time ago I did Weight Watchers and it worked for me. I did 2 weeks of the program after chemo just to track how much I ate. I realized I eat a lot more than I think I do. I wouldn't worry too much about the weight gain right now. You need to get through chemo. Once you are done you can focus on the weight.
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