Ladies in their 30s
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Coni,
Hang in there!
You should check out the canadian thread. There are a lot of Ottawa girls who can provide some close to home info for you.
Also, there is a great wig store in Oshawa called Baxters. The ladies are wonderful.
Cheryl
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How all... I hope all is well with everyone...
Just came home from 5th TCH treatment...
You all are in my prayers...
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I am so very frustrated today. My oncologist visit went well this week. However, he wants to do a PET scan I have a small little place close to my scar line that feels like a peeble. He wants the PET scan because I haven't had one in over a year. I am triple negative and therefore have not been on any drugs since chemo ended Feb 4th of this year. My stupid insurance company is saying they will not pay for the scan OMG I want to strangle them. They aren't the one living in fear of a recurrence! My sweet Husband is on a mission to get it approved. We shall see!
My oncologist is also sending me to a endocrinologist because my Vit D level won't go up after 4 rounds of 50,000 UI of Vit D. Just adding another doctor to my list.
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Wow, has the insurance liason from your onc's office talked to the insurance co re: this issue yet, Tiffany? That seems very reckless on their part! I mean, they're not doctors, how can they override your doctors decision?! Ridiculous... Sometimes I feel like it's our other full time job to be insurance reps, besides being full time cancer patients. How absurd!!! I'm so sorry you have to go thru that, on top of being scared. Hope everything will work out soon. Prayers that the pebble is absolutely nothing and that you'll know for sure very, very soon.
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Hi Everyone! My name is Mandy I was diagnosed with BC on 7/29/10 at age 30. I also have lung cancer (never smoked) I am married with 3 children 3,9 and 14. This all very new to me. Looking for women my age that I can talk and relate to. I will be going on to round 3 of chemo and just had lung surgery on 10/13. I won't have my bi lateral mastectomy until January when I'm done with chemo. I am having a really difficult time sitting here at home for this recovery. I am very active with my children and in my community. I don't have time or the patience to sit and wait to feel better. I think I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. I'm ready to go and do but my body is just not reading me. I can't drive so I've only been out of the house once in the last 14 days. I also am still getting use to this no hair look.
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Hi Mandy, So sorry you have to join us but glad we can be here for you! Wow, you've got a lot on your plate! That really stinks. What chemo are you doing? I know exactly what you mean about not having time or patience for this!! Do you have lots of people around helping you and keeping you company? I'm unexpectedly looking at another surgery since I recently discovered I'm not a good metabolizer of Tamoxifen and I hate the idea. Think I'll go get a 2nd opinion before I make a decision. Anyway, private message as much as you'd like but you can only post a limited number of messages each day while you're new (I think it's 5 messages a day for the first 10 days, but I'm not sure!)
Women like you really make me proud of the strength we, as women, are capable of. Also I feel like I have waaaaay less to complain about than I think I do! Keep up the good fight!!
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Hello Mandy! Ditto with Ladymadonna, sorry you have joined us but you will find some great ladies here. Although I am out of treatment I still feel like I am unable physically do be the very busy active working Mommy I was before and YES it is so frustrating! The wise ladies throughout this site have assured me it gets better so I am holding on to that
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Hi Girls! Thanks for welcoming me. I'm finding that cancer creates bonds. I have friends and family I never knew I had. My chemo is TCH. Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. And although chemo sucks I say if it sucks the cancer right out of you than "yay,chemo!" I have lots of support from friends and family but would enjoy having visitors more often. The cards and emails are great but often times I'd just enjoy a cup of tea with a friend. I am proud to say that I am doing good as can be expected and I feel like I am handling this well. At times though I feel like I get punished for being strong. I have pretty much continued to do all the everyday duties that come with having a home and children. Sometimes I hear Oh your doing so great or there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Its not my fault nausea, diarhea and fatigue have no face. I don't think my family realizes how much effort and energy it takes to keep doing all these things all while having chemo and surgeries. Its exhausting but I just keep plugging along. My heartaches for anyone and everyone who has had to experience the world of cancer and everything that goes with it.
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Hello everyone,
I am 31 years old and was diagnosed with IDC on 8/27/10. I had a left mastectomy 9/30 with tissue expanders. I got my port in last Monday and will be starting AC tomorrow. I have a 5 yo girl named Lily and a son named Luke who will turn 2 on Nov 9th. The nurse told me after my first tissue expander that I would be "sore", woke up hurting so much the next day. The nurse told me the day after my port that I would be "sore", again woke up the next day in pain. I had a major freak out session last night because the incision in my armpit opened a tiny bit and there was drainage. I paced and turned in circles until we got to talk to the on-call breast surg who said it was common to happen. Who is this person that I have become??? I work full-time to support my kids and hubby (he watches the kids and goes to school at night). I have become this person who gets anxious the moment hubby leaves the house...and does not fall asleep at night without Ambien and him next to me. I hate having someone to help me shower, I hate not being able to pick up my son when he cries and lifts his arms up, I hate that my husband probably runs on 4 hours of sleep everyday for the last two months because there is just so much to do and I cannot help him.
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If you're not familiar with David Jay and "The Scar Project" please check this out. I've found looking at these photos to be such a healing thing. His desire is to get the word out that BC is a disease that strikes young women too. Love this guy!
http://www.aolhealth.com/condition-center/breast-cancer/awareness-month/scar-project?ncid=webmail
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Letlet, welcome to our little warm, cozy support group! Good luck with your chemo tomorrow- there may be some tough days but you will be another step on your journey of kickin' cancer butt! Those major freak out sessions are completely normal and I still wonder who this woman in the mirror is-?? I'm sorry you're going thru all this- like Mandy said, my heart aches for all of my sisters here.
Do the best you can, but don't expect to be able to work full time thru all this. Your body will tell you how much it can do. Most of my friends with breast cancer need something to help them sleep- especially so soon after diagnosis. Don't be too hard on yourself! Mandy is totally right about everyone telling you "oh, you're so strong!" too- it's meant as a compliment, but it's really difficult when you just want to be taken care of sometimes.
Mandy, Letlet... hang in there! This is the perfect place to come and chat with the girls- just let it all out. You don't have to be strong here, you can be scared and vulnerable and bitchy- we understand!!
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Dawne-Hope, thanks for sharing that link...very touching.
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hello ladies
my names phil and i take my hat off to each one of u ladies for goin through such a trauma.my girlfriend who is 28yrs old,has just had a masectomy and had her lymphnodes removed in her left side which i was there by her side for each op.,she is a very positive and strong women and seems to be handling everything ok,but she starts chemo 2morrow and she has pushed me away last week and said she wants to do the first chemo leg by her self(wif friend) and wants some ME time as she calls it.but i havent heard from her for a week,is this natural or is this the emotions that come wif Breast Cancer.
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Hi Phil, It's great that you've been there for your girlfriend. Try not to read too much into her pushing you away right now, she's going through hell. She might not want you to see her while she's feeling so vulnerable. She might just feel more comfortable having a friend there. I can't say for sure what she's feeling, but it's totally normal to feel everything from fear, anger, helplessness, embarassment, pain... you are just hit with so much!
Please try to give her a little space but at the same time make sure to give her a call tomorrow to tell her you're thinking of her and you're glad her friend will be with her there at chemo. Be kind and gentle. She may sound strong and positive but she's a big bowl of jell-o inside, because we all are! She's lost her breast(s) and fears for her life at the young age of 28... she's going to be going through some tough times.
Just hang in there... This will be a tough time for you too- but you're obviously a good guy. There's a section in these boards for family support. You may find some men to talk to there. Good luck to both of you! You may want to suggest she come here for support
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Mandy- I am so sorry you are going thru so much right now. I cannot imagine how hard it must be. As Lady-Madonna stated, you make me feel like maybe I complain too much. You seem to be handling this way better than I would. I barely go out of the house as it is. I have missed alot of my sons baseball games this year (he plays travel ball) and I am not even working right now. I do feel your pain on the "you don't look or act sick" thing. I hear it all of the time. I still vaccum, dust, do laundry, cook every night and I am going thru TC chemo right now too and have three more surgeries to go. Keep up your great attitude about everything....it's infectious. I liked your "chemo sucks the cancer right out of you" comment. I will try and look at it that way too.
Letlet- My husband works nights and I do just as you do. I can't sleep at all either. It is certainly a pain. As you can see by the time, it's 5:00 am and I have chemo at 10:45, and of course I am wide awake. My son is fourteen and pretty self-sufficent, so I can imagine it would be difficult having a little one to explain all of this to. I hope you start feeling better. I am not sure, but maybe you could ask your doctor about taking Melatonin for sleep. It leaves you less lethargic the next day and does make you sleep and it's got less SE's. Take Care.
Phil- I can't tell you how your girlfriend is feeling, but from my experience being 34 and having a double mastectomy and a bald head from chemo, I have often thought about how I might be a disappointment to my husband of three years. I worry about him not being attracted to me, and how he has no children and this breast cancer diagnosis may leave me unable to have children with him. Your girlfriend loves you and maybe she is just needing space to help her understand how to get thru this right now. And, no offense, but a friend might be exactly what she needs right now to get her thru this. I agree you should give her space, but make sure to call her and support her and she will come back around eventually. Good luck.
Night everyone- Allison
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Letlet - Know that part of being strong is allowing yourself to have break downs. I have had my fare share and not always at the best times either. One of the worst ones was right in the middle of my Lung Biopsy the nurse said to me whats wrong? I lost it. I couldn't believe this was my loosing it moment. I knew it would happen sooner or later I just didn't think it was gonna be then in the middle of a procedure with needles sticking out of my chest.
I try and laugh as much as possible. I know if I don't laugh I'll cry soooo LAUGH it is!
Hopeful34/Allison- I too have missed alot of my childrens activites. It makes me really sad. I have coached cheerleading for the last 4 yrs and have never missed a game or cheer competition until all this stuff came about. IT SUCKS! I also am the Director of our towns community service Pageant. I have not been able to support and hang out with my queens as much I have in years past. Its very frustrating.
No matter what situations life throws at us. No matter how long and treacherous the journey may seem. There is light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!
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My mom was diagnosed at 39. She was amazing, and really didn't let the breast cancer get in the way of caring for her family, her career, or her personal goals. I made this tribute video in honor of her and I am trying to get it out to as many people as possible, to spread the word about breast self exams. Please take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj_r3vN5mfA
Best of luck to all the young women fighting this disease, you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
-Wavemade
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DX at 34 still going through treatment. Two kids 8 and 2 1/2. It sucks but it's doable, and for that I am smiling.
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WOW there sure are alot of 30 somethings ! I was diagnosed Oct 2009 at 38 am now 39. Had Bilat. with imediate Tram flap recon. for extensive high grade DCIS comedo necrosis. I am married for the 2nd timeto a wonderful supportive man and between the 2 of us we have 7 children and a bonus child. I have 4 boys ages 13, 13, (twins) 15, 19 and he has 3 girls ages 13, 15, 20 and we took in a child who got thrown out after she graduated from high school her parents felt like their jobs were done I guess. 2 great danes, a snake, 2 turtles, a teacup something and a partridge and a pear tree. Never a dull minute around here lol. I am a nurse and work part-time and am scheduled for a Pet scan for a new lump in my reconstructed breast on Monday. Then scheduled to see my surgeon on the 9th. Just praying that it is nothing but can't help but to worry a little I guess as stranger things have happened.
All of you are in my prayers as you continue your fight and I really look forward to getting to know you!
HUGS
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Hadley- your friends suck! dont waste time on them! its times like this, you find out which are your true friends.
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Hi! I am 40 now but was diagnosed at 39 so I'm in the old 30's category ;0) I was diagnosed with extensive high grade DCIS w/necrosis. Opted for the bilat. I am currently scheduled for my exchange on Nov. 16th a bit nervous. Not as much as my previous surgery but nervous nonetheless. I am married to a great guy and we have a wonderful 21 year-old son. Hey Christy I also have two great danes... no snakes or turtles, the danes keep me busy enough :0) Hope your scan goes well!
Looking forward to reading more about you all. Keeping you all in my prayers.
Cheryl
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Hi, wow!... there are sooo many newbies here
This disease just sucks! I've gotta say right off the bat tho that 1)since my diagnosis in Feb I don't think I've had 1 single day that I haven't thought about cancer...yet! 2) I've made a couple incredible new friends that I am sooo thankful for!! They are also on the bc journey and they are like sisters/best friends and I don't know how I could get thru this without them. I met them here on bco! Hadley, I wish the same for you and I agree with redninrah. Once you've had cancer there's just no time for screwing around anymore. Christy, I thought I had a full house with my 2nd husband, four teen boys (his 2, my 2) 3 dogs, 3 cats, rabbit and hedgehog... but I think you take the blue ribbon! And I'll gladly let you win! Oh my gosh, I will be praying right along with you that your lump is b9!
Oh, and btw... I don't think it matters if you're biologically in your 20's or 40's... if you "feel" like you're in the 30's pull up a chair and get comfy. Let's just get each other thru this!
I really admire you ladies who do the mastectomy. I had a lumpectomy and I was terrified I'd lose a breast. I was also terrified of rads, but I guess it was the lesser of two evils for me. :::sigh::: It gets so tiresome having to make these decisions. Right now I have to make a decision about Tamox. I'm only an intermediate metabolizer and I'm Her2+. There's so much controversy about whether the CYP2D6 test is even accurate, and then there's mixed research about Her2+ ladies and Tamox. Some research shows that if you have unmetabolized Tamox and you're Her2+ it can actually fuel bc growth... so I'm just making myself crazy trying to figure out what to do. I guess I need to get a 2nd opinion. My onc is recommending an ooph/hyst. Oh joy, another surgery and instant menopause at 39.
I know it's silly but I still find myself going "is this real? Could this be a mistake? How can this possibly be happening? I'm so healthy!!" (haha!-was)
Hello to everyone I didn't get to address personally, hope you have a great weekend. We have a holiday today in Nevada- "Nevada Day" - the day we became a state. The kids just think they get a long weekend for Halloween, lol. Lucky for me my boys are pretty much too old for Halloween, my hubby is out of town and his boys are with their mom. It's pretty quiet around here. I'm not going to spend the weekend doing chores!!
P.S. Insurance drives me crazy too! I'm very thankful I have it, but it's like another job, on top of bc! Vent away... Just come back to laugh, play, and share the good stuff too
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Hi Ladies,
I was dx 2 years ago @ 36. I had a bilateral mastectomy on 5/30/08 and started 6 rounds of chemo (TCH) on 7/8/10. After chemo I had radiation and then started on Femara. My onc chose this over Tamoxifen even though I WAS still pre-menopausal. I now have a Lupron shot once a month to keep me in menopause and boy does it suck! I tried to have reconstruction last year (Lat Flat with implants) but unfortunately I had complications so the expanders are out and I am now researching other reconstruction options.
My boys were 4 1/2 and 21 months when I was diagnosed. We didn't give them alot of info at the time; just that mommy wasn't feeling well and her hair was going to fall out. Although it was hard going through everything with small children I am grateful that they never understood the seriousness of everything. I think if I asked them now they wouldn't even know that I had BC! I worked full time while going through chemo. Fortunately there were only a few days after each treatment that I felt really crappy.
2 years out from chemo and physically I feel pretty good and my hair is past my shoulders now. Emotionally I am still pretty unstable. When I was first dx I would wake up with a pit in my stomach every day and kept hoping that it was a bad nightmare. That part has gotten better but I STILL need Ambien to sleep almost every night and my anxiety has recently gotten so bad that I've had to start taking Ativan again. I don't know if it's general anxiety or the fact that I am pretty much going through menopause. I have an appt. with my onc next week so I'm going to talk to him about it. I don't want to scare anyone but I think that I was on autopilot for the past couple of years and everything is finally starting to catch up to me.
I definitely don't think about this dreaded disease every waking minute like I used to but I still can't hear the word cancer without getting a pit in my stomach. And as much as I am grateful for all the research that is being done, and all the great events I especially hate October and seeing pink everywhere!!
To end on a positive note, especially to you ladies that are just beginning this journey......... Finding this website when I was first dx helped me tremendously. I was on here almost every day during treatment. I only recently started coming back since I am looking for help with my reconstruction.
Just now that every day DOES get better and you will start to feel normal again!
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IDK Lady madonna, I think you have me beat in the animal department. I have the science teacher to thank for the tortoise, the box turtle, the snake, and poor Frogger the toad RIP poor thing. This year first day of school I sent an email to school with the boys that if he did not quit sending reptiles home with the kids I was going to start sending kids home with him. Haven't gotten any new pets yet lol.
I was doing some research earlier and came across an article re radioactive Iodine (I-123 or I-131 I believe)used in the thyroid uptake scanand it said that it may increase your risk in developing breast cancer 19-20 years down the road. I had this scan done when I was 20 for a hard cold nodule on my thyroid (which are the type that tend to be malignant) and at 38 was diagnosed with breast cancer. The scan resulted in removal of the left lobe of my thyroid but the pathology was benign according to the military docs which hummm sometimes I wonder about that. I am curious if that iodine may have actually played a role in my cancer. Have any of you ever heard of anything like this?
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Christy - hummm...I would be interested in information regarding thyroid RAI and BC correlation. I have just been dx'd with papillary thyroid cancer and I am waiting to see what the surgeon recommends as far as treatment options. I have researched tx options and RAI is typical after surgery... either way, I think there has to be some kinda of correlation with thyroid issues and BC because I have seen alot of posts where women have had thyroid issues before/after a BC dx.
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Hi ladies,
I haven't posted here in a while. I've sort of been on a wild ride that last few weeks. I am completely recovered from surgery, and am supposed to start rads on Monday. I went to CTCA in Chicago last week, and they ran a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, a bone scan and a ton of bloodwork. The bone scan was clean, but the CT showed spots on my liver and lungs. They are all really tiny, and they could be nothing. But, they couldn't rule out cancer either. Even if there is only a 5% chance of it being cancer, that is too high for me. One of the blood tests they ran is a CTC (circulating tumor cell) test. The results showed zero cancer cells in my blood. While this is good news, it doesn't mean I don't have mets on my lungs and liver. My onc is in the process of trying to get Lapatinib approved by my insurance, and in the meantime I am pushing her to watch these spots very closely with regular tumor marker tests, liver function test and possibly another CT in about a month. I see an onc at UCSF next Friday, and hopefully then I can make a final decision about my treatment. The CTCA onc wants me to put off radiation and do more chemo now (Carboplatin with Gemzar). It's so hard to know what to do when you get such different opinions.
Janicemarie3 - You sound like you have an amazing attitude, but I know what it is like to have to put a face on for your kids. Mine are 6 and 3, and I don't want to scare them by being upset. Having this online support helps alot with unloading my fears. I'm sure my husband appreciates it too, because I am usually much calmer after I get my feelings out here.
LadyM - I havne't used deoderant since finding out about my cancer. I was inside most of the summer thanks to my horrible chemo side effects, and now that it's getting colder, I don't really need it. I also plan to stay away from regular deoderant. I'm also planning on switching my skincare and makeup to something like Arbonne, which is free of animal products and parabins. My neighbor sells it, so I will at least give it a shot.
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Okay... am I the only late-30's girl who still wants to have children?? It seems that everyone either already has their precious ones, or theyt are young enough that they can still plan to have children even 5 years from now. I'm 39 and childless and am so scared I'm too late.
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i'm with you crunchypoodle. i know. don't know what to say, but i know.
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Hi deenah, nice to see you back. Oh man, sorry about the roller coaster. I can certainly understand you pushing for very close monitoring. You've been in my thoughts... will continue to pray for good results and a clear path for the new treatment. Sending big (((hugs!))))
Hi Michele, it's nice that you're giving encouragement even tho you're a couple years out. You know, that made me think tho... maybe it's the fact that you ARE two years out from chemo that's making you feel anxious?? Especially since you're Her2+. I'd say that's reasonable- I bet I'll be anxious years 2-3. Hopefully time will fly by uneventfully
Can't wait until I have hair down to my shoulders!!!Crunchypoodle & Dawne-hope, I'm sorry you're dealing with this damn disease instead of making little babies...
There are so many things that just aren't fair! There are a bunch of ladies on this thread that have adopted and are really, really happy! Even if the cancer messes up your body it can't take away your ability to have a family!! Love and hugs 0 -
CrunchyPoodlemama- I have a fourteen year old son, but my husband of three years has no children and he really wants them and so do I. I will turn 35 next week, so I worry too. I went to my oncologist for my last chemo yesterday and he gave me the Tamoxifen. I told him I was worried about waiting til 40 to try and he said to stay on the Tamox. for two years and then we can try. Needless to say, it doesn't keep me from worrying. He said, "you know you can have your eggs frozen" and I told him it was too expensive unfortunately. For your sake, I hope you can figure something out. I think having no children would be really hard. Have you considered adoption? I know it's not the same, but my husbands sister was adopted and my step-dad adopted me and I am so grateful for him everyday, so it does have it's perks. Hope everything works out for you. Take Care. Allison
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