Ladies in their 30s
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Veronica37 - what a bummer. Are they just waiting for your numbers to be better or are there some other drugs that are easier on the liver? But I totally get what you are saying about the planning. My son has a boy scout campout next weekend and my husband wants to go, I am doing my first taxol that week so we will play it by ear if he can go. I hope your liver bounces back again and you don't get too delayed.
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inks- they may change things, they already reduced it by 10%, I will find out this wenesday. Should proceed Friday I hope!
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30-something peeps, I'm joining the fray, albeit reluctantly. I'm 39 and still absorbing all that is going on. I discovered my cancer randomly. I had a miscarriage over the summer (nothing like waiting to start a family at 39). I told my dr. that I wanted to get a mammo early since I had hoped to be pregnant at 40. I went in and the mammo didn't detect anything. I knew I had extremely dense breasts so I opted for an ultrasound, which is what actually picked it up thank goodness. I feel lucky to be stage 1 and node negative, but I know that our horizon is long. I have plans for my 80s, gosh dermit. My hubby is amazingly supportive and Mr. Positive. Not sure what will play out in the kids dept, as my options are rapidly dwindling since I am considering chemo due to my low intermediate oncotype score of 19. I will freeze embryos, but my dr. doesn't think it wise for me to carry a baby. So, if the time comes, I may consider a gestational carrier though I really don't know anymore. I'm awaiting results of genetic testing. I come from a very male-dominated family, so all that is unknown.
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1Tough, please look into a consult with a fertility doctor who specializes in cancer and fertility (onco-fertility). Do this before chemo. I'm 38 and found myself in a similar situation as you. The info my oncologist had about pregnancy after treatment was incorrect. It is safe to carry a pregnancy after cancer, even if you are ER+. Google "pregnancy after ER+ cancer" and you will find recent studies. PM me if you want to talk further.
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HI ladies, I just found this group! I'm 32, was diagnosed on Oct 18th, double mastectomy on Oct 31st by choice...starting chemo end of this month. I have a 9 month old baby and had planned on having another...not sure how that'll play out now. Have any of you heard of anyone having children after chemo without freezing eggs? Initially I was told I wouldn't need chemo but then my pathology showed HER2 positive so my MO gave me the option as HER2 can be hard to quantify (from what I've been told). I'm very apprehensive about chemo, I'm taking 4 cycles of TC with Herceptin. Anyone have any experience with either? I've heard I'll lose my hair shorting after first infusion...still can't fully come to terms with this. I'm hoping the anticipation is much harder than the experience will be. Any of you had hair come back in? How long did it take?
Sorry to find you all here...but very happy to have others to lean on...and to hopefully be able to help others too.
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Hi Gillash. Sorry that you find yourself here. But, things will get better! I had taxotere and cytoxan. It's been nearly 2 years now since my last treatment and my hair is shoulder length and most of the curl is gone. Hair growth feels slow at first, but eventually it really takes off.
With regard to babies....I was dx'd at 33. My chemo finished in February and by May, my periods were back. I met with my fertility MD as I had frozen embryos between dx and the start of chemo. He told me that my fertility was fine and we could try naturally or use our frozen embryos. We ended up using our frozen embryos and got pregnant after our 2nd embryo transfer. We were in a hurry to move forward and psychologically at the time, I was worried about my remaining eggs having gone through chemo. I'm sure things would've been fine and I'm sure you'll get there, too! We're young enough that our periods come back something like 70% of the time (something my doc told me...not sure if there's a study out there to support that or if it's just his experience).
In any event, good luck to you! You'll get past this and be back on track sooner than you think.
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Veronica37- I hope your liver function bounces back quick so you can continue on with your treatment...1toughcookie and Gillash- sorry you had to join this party, but the support is good and there are a lot of awesome women with good feedback and encouragement. As for fertility, a coworker of mine was also diagnosed in her early 30's with breast cancer when her daughter was just barely a year old...she wanted to have some eggs saved before beginning treatment, but it would have taken some time and her MO wanted to start chemo right away and strongly discouraged waiting due to the aggressive nature of her cancer...I still keep in contact with her although we work in different places. She is 3 years out from treatment without recurrence and is now almost 4 months pregnant. I think she did see a fertility specialist, so there is hope for those of us who want to have children...
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Myra,
Sorry I didn't get back with you sooner I was in Manhattan for a few days. Now back to sunny so-cal.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I do have lots of help. I'll be staying at my Mom's and while she works part time, my step-dad works from home so someone's generally around. Also, I don't have kids so I'm sure it will be less crazy! I can't imagine being one of the amazing ladies who has kids. <emphasis on the period. Let alone has them WITH breast cancer! Gaaaaah! It's too much work! You're my hero!
Your non-profit sounds great! Seems like it would be something that would be really helpful to the community. You seem to be in good spirits and that will help be successful with it throughout treatment. And just think what an inspiration you will be for those kids when you are all done and so much stronger!
Happy 2014 everybody!
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Hello Ladies
I'm 39 diagnosed in October and I have a 21, 15, and 4 year old. I've been having a real hard time dealing with the idea that IF I don't get better I will be leaving behind my children. My younest is acting out and asking lots of questions. I've been in the hospital 3 times since October, 2 surgeries and it is taking a toll on her. I had a book that we read to her called "when mommy had a masectomy", I thought it would help her understand. Now I feel like she is preoccupied with the book. She even said something yesterday that really freaked me out...she was "pretending" to have breast cancer.
IDK, I just wonder how some of ya'll have dealt with younger kids and this dx. It's hard out here being a Mom. I'm tired, stressed out...I'm trying to stay positive, but it isn't easy.
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tangandchris- I have 3 boys, 9 12 and 15. It was difficult for them the first month with a lot of questions, but they are fine now. I am a very positive person and have kept their routine the same. I still do everything I did before ( except in not at the gym as much,lol) they know on the week if chemo that I rest a little more and when I had my surgery they couldn't wait to be helpers. We go to the movies, shopping and I go to their sports. I am still working ( take 3-4 days off after chemo then work the other days). I feel this has helped them see that I'm ok. I may not always feel great but I'm ok.
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I too am joining this group. I am 39 with a 9 year old boy and 6 year old girl. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible, but I have needed help with baby sitting for appointments. The kids actually enjoy that. I try to have quiet time with them at night when they are getting ready for bed so they can ask me any questions. Their school has been great. My daughter's teacher from last year came and got her one day over the Christmas break after I had chemo. They had a girl's day out and my daughter was in heaven. I have always been the "strong" one and not needed help. I am trying to let people help me and I have been so touched by people's' kindness.
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tangandchris - I feel you. My oldest was 4 when I was diagnosed. He's almost 6 now and I worry that there are some lingering emotional issues for him. I don't think there is any right way to approach talking to your little ones about it. I basically followed my gut. Tried to be light on details, but if he asked questions - I was as honest and open as I could be, keeping in mind his 4 year old brain could only process so much. He is an insightful little boy and did ask questions along the way. I'm by no means a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I am a mom - and I think kids mimicking their parents in natural. They do it all the time. My kids inadvertently make me feel so guilty when they pretend to be mommy at work and grab the play key board and phone to do emails and phone calls (I work from home so they sometimes see me at it). My oldest one pretended to breastfeed his teddy bear when I was nursing my little one. We are what they see and who they look up to. So she is taking on the world you are living. Maybe hide the book for awhile if you feel it is too much of an obsession? Find something more innocuous to take its place? I think most importantly they just need us to hug them and remind them that we are here for them and we love them. And while I know those bone-chilling fears of potentially leaving them all too well - we have to banish those thoughts. They don't do anyone any good. Reality is - we are here for them today. Hope I haven't blathered on too long. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more. It's quite a thing to have a 4/5 year old who can say words like biopsy, chemotherapy, herceptin, tamoxifen. Sigh... Hugs!
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Thank you ladies for your feedback
I'm trying to stay more in the moment and not think about worse case scenario, but it is still difficult at times. I'm back to work, so that is helping me feel "normal" again and not be thinking constantly about BC. I've also tried to be honest with my 4 year old, but also keep things at her level. However, is any of this BC at a four year "level" lol. You ladies are my hero's though, going thru this with young kids and coming thru to the other side is what I plan on doing too!
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Flatinfl - Welcome! You got the right idea to try to keep things as normal as possible for your kids. And I am glad you have some help and are willing to accept it. As you move ahead with your treatment learn to prioritize - the house may not be as tidy, you may be eating takeout or TV dinners - but try to find time to cuddle with your kids and ask them about their day.
Tangandchris - You are in such a tough spot in deciding how to explain things to your 4 year old. Does your treatment center have a social worker? It might be worth asking her advice. My daughter is luckily only 2 and she accepts the explanation that "mommy has a boo boo". Little kids copy what they see around them so this is only normal. In 6 months she'll find some new game to play.
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New to this forum
I'm 31 , married with 3 boys and will be finished up with radiation this month and start on Arimidex. Any others at this age on this drug?
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I have kinda of a silly question for those ladies that have had Mx. I have the usual tiny black hairs now that I hate but I know its hormonal. Will they grow after skin sparing mx? {feeling dumb but curious}
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Hi ladies,
I was very grateful when I came across this group. I am 39 and have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. There are so many other issues that go along with all this when you have young children and still have to work and take care of everything else. Responsibilities don't stop just because we have cancer.
I had a chemo nurse give me a great way to explain cancer to our little one. Our body is like a garden, and all the cells are flowers. Sometimes, just like in every garden, weeds grow. If we don't kill the weeds, they overtake the garden and kill the flowers too. So we call chemo the "weed killer" and sometimes the weed killer can kill some of the good stuff too. (like our hair). My 5 year old seemed to understand that pretty well.
I don't know if anyone else has had this issue, but this month I have custody court for my 2 kids. Their biological father hasn't seen them in 2 years and I am trying to get formal sole custody. Of course he is fighting it. Timing couldn't be worse, doing this during chemo, but its out of my control. Can he use the Breast cancer diagnosis against me in court? My little ones have been through so much over the past year, I want to protect them from anything else. Luckily I have a great support system and they have a step father who they consider their daddy. But I am worried that it is possible for him to use me being sick to his advantage. If anyone has had experience with this any advice would be helpful.
Next Chemo Jan 20 and I will be 3/4 of the way done. I can see the end now!
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hi nursemom : No , he cannot use your diagnosis on his favour.Dont be afraid .
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I'm so happy I found this group. I'm 36 and was diagnosed on October 21, 2013. I have a 3 years old and 20 month old. Life sure has a way of surprising you. Just a bump in the road. I'm trying my hardest to keep life as normal as possible through all of this. In a way I'm very thankful the boys are so young because they won't remember this crappy time.
I started Chemo on the 30th and only have 2 rounds left. I will be having surgery on March 3rd (just a left breast mastectomy), then after I heal 5 weeks of radiation 5 days a week and after I heal from that I will have the right mastectomy and DIEP Flap reconstruction.
I have a long road ahead of me, but I'm in good hands and have been so lucky with the amount of support I have.
Best of luck to all you beautiful ladies out there! We can kick cancers a$$!
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tang -my youngest was 4 1/2 when I was diagnosed. Our hospital has a "life with cancer" center with fabulous social workers - so my boys (the other had just turned 7) both went to a "curious about cancer" class. It was wonderful for them!! Definitely speak to the social workers at your hospital or get a referral from your MO / surgeons office to find out if there's anything like that in your area!
Hugs!
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Hello, wanted to introduce myself to this group. I'm 35, married with two young kids (8 and 5). I was diagnosed Jan 2, 14 and will start chemo next week. It's been 2.5 weeks since the diagnosis and what a rollercoaster that has been! I know I'm heading in to a dark time right now, and I'm anxious about it, but wanting to get it going so it can be over sooner. I am shocked at how many 30-somethings in my life have "come out" to me since I found out I had cancer. It makes it hard to believe that BC in younger women is as rare as they say it is. All through the preliminary tests everyone kept saying "the odds are in your favor, you're so young". Well, here I am!
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belleb: I am diagnosed last Oct and am 34. Seeing your signature, your cancer is triple negative, same as mine. There is a post called Calling all TN. It is very helpful as well. See you there.
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Hi there. I'm 31, diagnosed with IDC ER/PR+, HER2 - in November. Had BMx, starting chemo soon. I am thinking about freezing embryos before chemo. Have any of you with ER/PR + done IVF before chemo? If so, how high did your estrogen get? Also how many embryos were you able to freeze? My dr does not do the letrozole protocol so I am a little nervous. I did a round of IVF before diagnosis and I know the injections made the tumor grow. That's what brought me in to get seen.
Thank you.
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Hope, I just sent you a PM. I hope it answers some of the questions you had.
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Hi Hope: I am one that had 2 ivf and developed breast cancer after an unassisted pregnancy at 35. I didn't really needed the ivf, they were not telling me that I had to cut one of my tubes in order to get pregnant naturally.
Look in this website ivfbreastcancer.com. Dr Veltmann has a theory that some people cannot metabolize hormones and that's how they develop bc.
Talk to your oncologist, what stage were you ? .
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Stacey & Srh242 - thank you for your replies!
I really do not think IVF causes BC. I think if you have something preexisting, and it is hormone receptive, it might speed up the growth for a short amount of time you are doing shots. However, if you have no predisposition to BC cells, then the hormones given for IVF shouldn't do anything. I've been talking with my MO and studies show that it is not the ER surges that affects BC but the life time exposure to hormones. I had a 2.6 cm tumor, 0/4 SLNBx. Starting ACT mid-February. Waiting for period to start so I can do IVF, due any day.
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**error, I didn't mean LH surges, meant estrogen surges.
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Girls, I want to know how many of you kept your nipples after mastectomy? I myself did a nipple sparing mastectomy but after my friend with the same situation had her cancer back on her nipple,I am petrified.she was told she can keep her nipple since her cancer was far from nipple!
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setizan- I did not do nipple sparing, it was not offered for one but I just wanted to get rid of as much breast tissue as I could.
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There is a strict criteria list for you to be able to keep your nipples. I'm a RN who worked at a BC surgical oncology clinic. I actually talked about this with the Director and he told me if the tumor met the criteria(s), then nipple could be spared. I am sure your oncologist would not have let you keep our nipples if it didn't meet the criteria. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but I think each case is unique so don't second guess your decision.
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