Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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Sorija123-
I look younger than 36 too. I’m getting TC on November 20th. Not looking forward to it, but I’m glad I start moving forward with my treatments.0 -
Fairydog, look like you will have 4 chemo treatments right. 4 treatments will fly by so fast. I had 6 chemo treatments, I cant believe im already done. Now I am just focusing on surgery in Dec, which im not looking fwd to that at all.
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Soriya - surgery is a cakewalk compared to chemo in my opinion. If you have a good network of family and friends around - don't be shy to ask for help. Have them stock up your freezer for you and let them help you out around the house. And before you know it - you'll be back on your feet again.0 -
Ramol, I will have MX on my right only. I noticed u so had TE, so how was it? were u in a lot of pain? i think less painful if no TE put in there huh?
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Soriya - the TEs are ok. I guess surgery is less uncomfortable afterwards without them - but who knows. I think the lymph node removal was the most painful part recovery wise for me to be honest. And I know many women struggle with the TE fills but I found them to be no problem at all. They told me I could take ibuprofen and I honestly never felt the need. Fingers crossed you'll feel pretty good!0 -
Soriya- I had surgery first it wasn't too bad. After chemo I will go back for more surgery and then radiation with another surgery after that. I hope the 4 treatments fly by. I'm nervous about doing chemotherapy in the middle of winter. I got a microscope slide of my tumor aka FELIX, and the photogramph pictures of the tumor. Some of my friends are competitor shooters and they shot the tumors. I joined them it was therapeutic. I am going to put the Felix Slide in a shadow box on the wall and flip it off when I leave the house.0 -
Thanks Ramol and Fairydog, fingers crossed i wont be in so much pain n praying for clear margin n zero node.
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Just popping in... hope all you fine young women are doing well with your treatments.
sparklekat - I'm child free too; wouldn't have any now even if I could just because of my strong family history of breast cancer. Talk with your ob/gyn about options. You could get your tubes tied, I think there are hormone - free IUDs... if your cancer was hormone positive, having your ovaries removed might be an appropriate option.
inks, tell your husband to man up and get used to changing diapers and cat litter at least sometimes. Even if it's safe for you to change diapers, there will be times you are really tired or not feeling well, and he's just going to have to do it. Tell him to suck it up, sally!
fairydogmother - that's awesome that you shot the photos of your tumors! Love it!0 -
Christina, Yeah I was going to talk to my oncologist about other options but my dad is super flipping out about this whole thing and he's been coming to all my appts so I am waiting till I get a moment alone so I can ask those kind of questions without my father going on the deep out. He is totally freaked out that I am set on having a double mastectomy.0 -
Sparklekat- I hope things work out. I find that sometimes the decisions are harder for the loved ones. They have longer time to come to terms. My poor husband was in complete denial for a month especially about treatments. I wish there was book for them. I find that men want to fix it. As my hubby said, "he can't program it out of me, shoot it, or fix it." He asked what he could do. I said laugh at my jokes, be patient with me, listen as I try to make choices. I would value his input. I did give him research as to look up suruival rates, types of chemo, types or reconstruction. I don't know what you could give your father to do, but maybe giving him a task would help him. Best of Luck!0 -
Hi everyone, I haven't stopped by in awhile I guess because everything has been going good. Tomorrow marks my 35th birthday. Last year at this time I was half way thru my chemo. I used to fantasize about being in this moment, post chemo, hair back, reconstruction. Now that I'm here it feels great in all but it still is hard. I see my girlfriends wearing cute tops and have long flowing hair, not to mention great figures. And all I can think is how crappy my reconstruction turned out, virtually no boobs, my hair is short. It's cute but short. And I am battling my wheight like never get before in my life and it's sucking bad. I just want to be back to the old me. Oh and not to mention I have chemo/tamoxifen Brain fog like I am 80 years old. I know i sound ungrateful and that's not the case, I am. I just want to be me.0 -
I'm 36 and was just given the preliminary dx two days ago. I'm in a flurry of appts right now and big decision making. And I feel pretty lost in it all.
I've been married for 3 years now and this year we planned on trying to have a baby. I'm lucky that I have good friends and my husband's family nearby, but I do feel very alone.0 -
Welcome GraceBer - although sorry you have to be here. The best thing to do right now is to remind yourself to take deep breaths and listen as best you can. Bring trusted family/friends to your appointments to help you absorb all the information. Your team will be put into place and will help you make the best decisions you can make about your plan of action. Once a plan is in place, it gets a bit easier. Just remember to breath deep and take one thing/day at a time. And come here for support. Lots of amazing women on these boards here to lend a hand and shoulder. Good luck! (also - since you're in NYC, get yourself to MSKCC if you can; you'll get phenomenal care there)0 -
Thanks, ramols. I just reached out to MSKCC today for a second opinion. I'm currently working with NYU. I wasn't sure which bs to ask for, so I just named a name that I saw recommended here. I emailed them all of my scanning and pathology reports and I'm just waiting to hear back.0 -
hugs GraceBer. So sorry you have to be here - but you've found a great place. What is your pathology info? (Tumor size, ER, PR, HER2 positive or negative?). There are several great forums on here that are specific to each type of tumor, and the ladies on those boards can give you lots of been there done that advice about treatment decisions, too.0 -
GraceBer - glad to hear you're checking out MSKCC, although I know NYU is great too. I'd recommend my breast surgeon (Lisa Sclafani) except she is based out of the Commack location here on Long Island and only does her surgeries at the main campus in the City. But they are all good. My plastic surgeon is based in the City and he was great - did a really good job. Evan Matros is his name - in case reconstruction is something you need to consider. They are all good at MSKCC though. Hope you get in for a consult soon. Good luck!0 -
So I took everyone's advice about the kitty litter box, sometimes it gets pretty stinky but we have bigger battles to fight. I have not used the face masks at all, looking back that was overkill anyways. I have used a glove on my hand when changing nr.2 diapers, I don't want to get poop under my nail and end up with ecoli. My daughter asks for a glove now too when she changes her dolls diapers.
But I almost feel a disconnect with the other ladies on my regural "monthly chemo board" since I am not having as hard time with the chemo as they are. Sure it sucks, but I feel almost guilty that I am not feeling as crappy as they are. Did anyone else feel the same way? I feel that if I would post about not feeling so bad I would be boasting. Do you know what I mean?
On a second note my son has a boy scout Court of Honor coming up, I have stayed away from most of his stuff but I would really need to attend that one. My hair is gone now so it's obvious what's been going on with me, we did not want to scare any children so we finally told the troop leader about what has been going on with me. I am fine dealing with my condition I just have hard time dealing with the way other people may react to my condition.
Gracebear - how are you holding up?
Doragirl - you look beautiful. I hope you find a way to keep your weight in check that will work for you. Sorry that you are not happy with your reconstruction. Can you go back for a revision?0 -
Dora, happy belated birthday. BC sure changes everything. Sometimes I'd like to be pre-BC me for just a day or two. I definitely did not appreciate my physical self then like I ought to have.
Welcome GraceBer. I too was diagnosed not long before my DH and I were planning on starting a family. That's still a sensitive spot for me to talk about. Ramols is right (at least IMO) - going through all those tests and consults is sooo stressful, and it does get a little easier (emotionally) once you have a grip of what is going on and what the plan is.
inks, I have had a similar experience on the reconstruction board I am on. I had a much easier time with my recon than most of the other women, and I'm sure it's because of my age. Sometimes I felt weird or guilty too. I even got a PM from a member specifically asking about my age and why I was writing that I was doing so well. What can you do though? I don't know about you but I do feel it is important for us to share our experiences here, so other young breast cancer patients have this information. Obviously we are not going to have the same experiences as these women that are in their 50s and 60s. As for the Court of Honor - just go! Yes you will get some looks. Maybe some questions from people truly concerned, and maybe some questions from people who are just plain nosey. Think about how you will respond in advance, so you aren't caught too off-guard. It is hard to deal with other people's reactions. Seems like in the beginning I spent more time comforting other people who were alarmed at the news, than they spent comforting me!
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Hi ladies! Found this site browsing the internet tonight. I knew I wasn't alone, sorry to see there are so many of us.
I was diagnosed at 32, now 33. I'm married with two young daughters. I have IDC. I went radical with a BMX. The tumor ended up being 2.4 cm- the mri showed 1.4 cm. Right now I'm in the tissue expander phase. I had an oncotype done and discovered that I am borderline, 15. My MO told me it was my decision on whether to do chemo. I will be having second opinion next month. Don't really want to go through chemo (my grandma said it was rough), but I want to be sure I'm giving myself and my family the best chance we can at longevity.
My grandmother is 5 years remission! I thought I'd have a concern with bc eventually because of a strong family history (however BRCA- yea!). Just never thought it would be so young.
Hang in there! I agree some of these young mom struggles make our diagnosis' different. I'm heading back to work next week- until I break for my next surgery. I'm nervous about learning what to let go. I know I can't do 100% effort at work and home while battling fatigue. Any ideas on how to make the best of it?
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welcome MrsSas.
My best advice for juggling it all is to make it your priority to do those things that only you can do. Snuggling with your kids, spending time with your husband, doing your job, and doing the other things in your life that you enjoy. For those things where a sub is acceptable - get help as often as you need it. Let people bring you meals, clean your house, do your laundry, even do your job when you don't have the energy to do it all yourself. I had a hard time with that at first because I felt guilty sitting playing board games with my boys while someone else cleaned my house. But a dear friend reminded me that it wasn't a good use of my time to take what little energy I had and give it all to cleaning and laundry.
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Hi MrsSas - McKatherine is right. Go easy on yourself. Prioritize what is important for you to do and leave the rest. Let family and friends help and be ok with it. Now is the time to be gentle with yourself. As for work - if you can swing working from home some or all of the time - that will be a big help. I was very fortunate that I could do that - and it afforded me the ability sneak away for an hour to snooze when fatigue got the best of me. I also picked what pieces of my job were most important to me and let the rest go. For me that meant keeping up with my client work as best I could, but dropping my project work - either to be picked up by a colleague, or wait for me to be ready to get back to it. Most importantly - be kind to yourself. As for your choice about chemo - I can't help you there as I had no choice. But I can say that it is doable and it is time-limited so you have a clear end in sight once you start. I think younger ladies like us who are potentially more fit and healthy than older ladies tend to have an easier go of it sometimes. You'll make the best decision you can with the information you have in the timeframe you are forced to make it. Good luck!0 -
christina0001 - that is comforting to hear that I am not the only one feeling guilty about not having too many SE. I think I was expecting the mastectomy and tissue expander placement to be way worse than in ended up being because of reading the boards, but everyone's experience is different, and often people do point out that the people who write the most are the ones who are experiencing problems. Thanks for the advice about how to respond to people. It's weird I had thought about how to explain it in simple terms to a little girl who always hangs out with me and my daughter at boy scout functions, but it never occurred to me to have a response for grown ups. I have really avoided facing people and telling about my diagnosis, since I've lost my hair our joke is that I need to jump behind/under the couch whenever somebody stops by.
As far as the ladies who have had to put the plans of starting a family on hold - I really hope you find a way to make it happen one way or another. I think about my kids and them possibly inheriting my BRCA1 mutation, but I would still want them to experience having a family if that's what they want. My husband asked me if I would have wanted to have kids had I known about my BRCA1+ and my answer was blunt no, but that's just me.
MrsSas - I hope getting a second opinion about chemo will help you make your decision. I really think it's great that there is enough knowledge around that can safely predict who will benefit from chemo and who will not. I hope you will not need it. But while the chemo medicines themselves have not changed much since your grandmother's chemo there are some newer medicines that help with SE (Emend, Neulasta). And congratulations to your grandmother for being a 5 year survivor, that is so encouraging! How are you handling the Tamoxifen?0 -
I was 36 when I got my IDC. My mother was 33 stage IV, my grandmother 60, stage IIIb, I had two first cousins on mother's side both died. My BRCA came back negative and my oncotoype was 15. I did not want to do chemo. I interviewed 3 oncologist, because chemo was the one thing I hated to do. I did a mammaprint and that came back for the need of chemo. You might want to look into the mammaprint. Tomorrow will be my chemo #2 .
If you google there are some places that will do free housecleaning for you. I have a website I will PM you that information. It is hard to realize that you must rest and play board games so your body can heal. My stubbornness almost had me in the hospital. Remember nap time isn't just for kids either.0 -
hello ladies, just wanted to let you kno i had my nipple sparing mx with TE on 12/04. Ramols, you were right surgery not as bad compare to chemo. I am still sore and little pain here n there but not that bad. Wishing you all Merry Christmas!
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soriya - I am glad your surgery went well, and especially happy that you found it easier than chemo. Just do the exercises when they give you clearance and you will feel even better.
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Thanks Inks! I will have PT on Dec 27.
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Inks- I just found this board. I also am on same monthly board as you as do feel the disconnect. I often find myself lurking and don't post because I feel that my SE are nothing compared to everyone else. I am a mother of three and continue to work as a hygienist. I do get SE for about 5 days after chemo but other than that my life continues as normal. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
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Veronica37 - I am glad to hear that you feel the same way. I wonder if our MO are happy to see us walk in and not complain too much. Or if soriya's surgeon is happy that she had a great recovery. My infusion room nurses seemed to hang onto every little thing I said - I said I did not feel puky just burped and they were still trying to tell me to eat ginger. I am impressed that you are able to work as a hygienist since that does take attention and good arms.
I have had a cold since my infusion on 12/11 and have felt pretty crappy. But before this I was still able to go to the gym 4 times a week on my good week. I am not training for a marathon, just walking on the treadmill. I do sleep well on the gym days. I hope to get back on track with the gym once I get over the cold, my MO gave me an antibiotic just in case. But now I am worried that the antibiotic will do more harm than good.
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Inks -I was in the gym 5 days a week until my surgery. Did your plastic surgeon say it was ok to lift weight with your TE. I'm a little nervous and he just gave me a look when I asked. I am dying to get back into the gym, it makes me feel soo much better.
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Veronica37 - I got clearance only for cardio, abs and legs. I have only done the treadmill at a pace I can handle and a little on the leg machines, but the days I went I felt way better. I tried to go real early in the morning since that's when I felt the best and that way I could avoid the grunting old men (let's be honest every gym has them). I think a lot of us would like to return to our old selves and do the things we enjoyed doing. I am trying to keep myself motivated by thinking about all the things I'll be able to do once this is over.
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