Australian Sisters
Comments
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lololz thanks, but personally I think I write far too much in these posts and wish I could be short and succinct. The style of explaining everything when I post here is probably a hangover from my early career in insurance when we used to have to write letters to customers back in the days before we had standard form letters and Microsoft Word
I remember my second job was with RACQI and I started there just as PC's were being introduced. sigh Im old 
You feeling any better now Racy?
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fell while asleep and hit my temple. Egg sized lump appeared. Called 13 health but don't think it's life threatening.
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Racy where were you when you fell asleep that enabled you to hit your head? Have you put an ice pack on it to slow the bruising? As long as you are not dizzy you should be okay but please take it easy.
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gerrib - Your description of sacral pain radiating down legs with numbness in your feet and toes sounds very much to me like you just need a good massage. I could be wrong, but I am a massage therapist and I get people in all the time with those symptoms. Find yourself a good deep tissue massage therapist who will work the muscles of your hips and around the sacrum. There are muscles in your hips that overlie the sciatic nerve and if they get too tight, they can cause the pain syndrome you are describing. (hope that helps)
Racy - I dealt with all that emotional pain too. I lost both my grandmother and my mother to BC so when I had it 8 yrs ago, and I was going through the prescribed treatment, I was aware I was having some really negative thoughts about "what will I do WHEN this returns". Being a natural therapist, I was aware of the body/mind connection and that I needed to deal with those negative thoughts and worries and anxiousness so I could get to a more peaceable place and heal. I sought out, firstly, a psychotherapist who came recommended to me by my oncologist's office, but I really didn't get a lot of benefit from that - not like I expected to.
A friend of mine suggested EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. And surprisingly enough, that has worked for me. I use it frequently when I'm getting too stressed out about things (which I can still do sometimes! I think the chemo wrecked my nerves!). I found a great 11-minute video that will describe nicely how it's done: http://eft.mercola.com/ It worked for me, I don't have that emotional pain any more, nor any anxiety over any of it. You might want to seek out an EFT therapist near you so that they can tailor the words to suit you personally.
Now if I could just get rid of the hot flushes forever... maybe I should try EFT for that!
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Lyndal, yes that is our mums for us, even when we all growed up, they still want to look after us when we sick. My mummy wants to be near me all the time, we at opposite ends of the country, she is 78 and still would drive the the 10 hour journey to be with me like she did when i first go my bc dx and be there after my surgery and sat there spoon fed me some desert they dished up, but as normal, i was experencing nausea after surgery, our family that way, we don't handle anasthetic well. i normally have to end up with anti- nausea medication. You sound like you had a tramatic time with other goings on as well as the BC. glad you came thru and still are. you are inspiring.
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I second that Racy, Lyndal you write very well and always so eloquently. Hey maybe you should think about writing a novel, or even non-fiction? You do have a talent for writing.
As for a get-together. I am still hoping to get over to Brissy sometime in Mid December for about a week. I'm just waiting to hear when my neice is holding her 21st Birthday (the reason for the trip). She has to work around her fiance who is fly-in fly-out and his roster, hence the uncertaintly of a date at the moment. Once I have the date I will book my airfare. I would crazy LOVE to catch up with any of you who live in Brissy or could get there too.
Not much news from me. Had Herceptin yesterday and put the Emla cream on too late, so it stung unnecessarily. I suddenly got very hot and started to feel light headed about a quarter of the way in. My MIL was with me and I told her I didn't feel so good, but she was talking 10 to the dozen and didn't hear me so I just decided to ride it out and I came right after a few moments and all went well from there.
Paul and I had a blazing row last night over nothing. It was quite comical though, because he has now totally lost his voice, so I had the advantage. Heck he sounds like darth vader and even the dogs are scared of him (he was trying to order the dogs to eat their dinner and they wouldn't go near him, which started the argument). He's gone off to Perth for his works end of project dinner, so I have the house to myself tonight.
Have a great weekend everyone....
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Lyndal - you are very eloquent :-) maybe you should start a blog - it seems to be the in thing?!
Racy - I had a pretty rough time for a long time. When I got my bc dx I was numb for a long time, it just didn't seem to be happening to me. I had about 4 weeks between dx and the mx - my bs went overseas about 2 days after I saw him, and I wanted to wait till he got back. There wasn't a huge rush to have it done, so I waited. I kept thinking it was only breast cancer and I could live without a breast, luckily for me it wasn't brain cancer or liver cancer or something that could kill me. lol I didn't know very much back then. After the mx my dad died and my brother was dx with bowel cancer within about 2 weeks. That shook me a bit and then chemo started and that took a lot out of me. So I didn't really start thinking about all that had happened to me until after chemo had finished. Then I couldn't do my job - there were major issues there with a bully, and then I was unemployed and trying to find a job while still on Herceptin and my hair growing back.
It seemed that all of a sudden I lost all my inner strength and self confidence and self assurance and fell in a big heap. Everything around me seemed to be falling apart, and I couldn't fix any of it. I felt that it was all because of breast cancer. And a lot of it was. I also felt that because I'd finished treatment (lol even though I was on Arimidex and Herceptin) I should be back to "normal" and everything in life should be fine and dandy. While I was feeling so much better than during chemo - I still didn't have my health back, but I couldn't understand that. I was frightened and confused. I was scared that the cancer was going to come back (isn't education about your disease wonderful - ignorance is sometimes bliss) and I was resigning myself to being dead in five years time. I had started a new job - and even though it was a job without the responsibility I'd once had I was struggling with memory issues.
I went to see a counsellor who specialises in cancer patients, and she was wonderful. She gave me a cd from the Cancer Council about "Mindfulness" That helped settle me down a lot. She also made me see that I was expecting too much of myself, and that I wasn't out of treatment yet - and wouldn't be feeling good for a while yet, I had to wait until all the drugs were out of my system. Once I finished Herceptin - which was only a couple of months after I saw her for the first time, I did start to feel so much better. The Arimidex was taking it's toll, but at least that was just one drug.
I still have times when I feel a bit "out of control" but can now calm myself and not worry too much about the future. If it comes back, it comes back, there's not a lot I can do about it, and I want to enjoy life and live the time I have without those sorts of worries. I never really had much patience previously, but now I find I'm much more patient with people and circumstances that are out of my control. My co-workers are amazed sometimes at how patient I am on the phone with an obvious idiot - and to be honest I am too sometimes lol. Mind you I won't put up with too much nonsense in my life either - if someone I know is being a dick, then I just walk away. I don't need that in my life now.
So - what I'm trying to say - is that we've all been though something horrendous, something terrible and traumatic. And we need time to get over it. It takes a different amount of time for each person. Mine took around 19 - 20 months to get where I am now. You may take a bit longer. But unless you learn to accept and find peace within yourself and decide to live life, then you won't get over it for a long time. We are all so different, but that's what makes life interesting, and we all have our own things that we need to find that make life worth living again without fear and confusion.
I have my photography that I love and gives me so many hours of enjoyment. I have a wonderful husband who is my rock. I have a brother who means the world to me - and we are closer now than ever before having gone through a cancer dx and tx together. I have so many wonderful friends that mean the world to me. I live in paradise here on our (windy and cold at the moment) acreage. I have two beautiful dogs who are my furkids and never left my side during all those horrible days going through chemo.
I'm slowly getting my self confidence and self assurance back again. It's been a long road - but if I hadn't taken that first step to get myself on the road back home, I'd still be sitting in confusion and terror.
Racy - keep talking to us - we understand better than anyone how horrible it's been. If you are seeing a counsellor, that will help too. But in the meantime, I'm sending you lots and lots of (((hugs))) and hope it helps to know that there are quite a few of us who know exactly how you've been feeling and want to cheer you on.
Trish
xoxox
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Mel - sent you an email :-)
Kate - don't you just love those arguments that don't seem to be about anything? And laughing that you could outshout your dh :-)
As soon as you know when you are going to Perth - let us know - I'll be there!!!
Trish
xoxo
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Hi Marnie and Kathryn, welcome: this is a great group of women who have saved my sanity.
Mel - sorry about the job. Just a thought but some of the employment agencies specialise in finding employment for people with disabilities; don't forget depression is a disability plus you have ongoing medication so you may qualify. You may need something from your doctor, but they give a lot more support than other agencies.
Racy I hope your head is ok. We have also talked about meeting up down this way as Jenn, Trish, myself and Joy are within travelling distance.
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Kylie x
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hi kylie
i havent been clasified as depressed by any doctor. im not sure if i would be classified as depressed to centrelink and/ or my job network provider. I have no limitations according to my onc for finding suitable work.
Mel
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Hi everyone!
Night in with hubby. Fire burning. Dog on lap. Music on. iPad at hand.... It's a good night so far and I hope you are all having a good night too.
Also did 40mins on my treadmill before dinner - 5km/hr, 2.5incline. Although I have not really lost weight I have had a number of people at work etc ask me if I have lost weight over the past couple of weeks since starting to use the treadmill. I guess I must be toning up - my clothes certainly feel better.
I've been spending a bit of time on the picture forum looking at recon results - good and bad. I am actually "looking forward" to being able to move forward with a BMX for greater piece of mind.
Jenn0 -
I'm glad you are feeling more positive this evening Jenn.
I use the treadmill at the gym. I am 'training' for the 5 k Bridge to Brisbane on 2 September. I have done it seven times but not last year for obvious reasons. I mainly walk.
I do 35 mins on the treadmill up to 5.5 k with 1 gradient setting.
I have just employed a house cleaner to clean floors, bathroom and dust. She is a young student from South America and only charges $20 per hour.0 -
Racy I wish we could even afford that at the moment.
I just had a huge dummy spit (seem to have a lot of these lately). DH's idea of giving me a rest is saying 'just don't worry about cleaning'. I have just lost my temper about the fact that I am still being treated and I need a clean house to not get sick again. Leaving things just makes it so much worse and then I end up doing too much and collapsing in a big heap.
Sorry ladies, that's my whinge for today, LOL. Kylie x
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Kylie, I only did housework about once a month when I was in active treatment. I just didn't have the physical or mental energy. I did do washing and dishwashing (machine) but not much vacuuming, dusting or bed making. There's my confession for the day. Shocking I know.
It is a pity that your family members don't offer to do housework for you instead of saying don't bother about it. Would it hurt to suggest to them that they do even a bit to help?
I am alone so didn't really have anyone to help but also no one to see mess.
I feel better living in a clean environment but have never been successful in getting back to my pre bc cleaning routine. So I thought the cleaner was worth a try. She is a young overseas student so $20 per hour, probably tax free, would be a useful amount of earnings for her. Cheaper than contractors with their overheads and probably award rates. Plus they only do minimum of 2 hours. My place is small and does not take that long to vacuum, dust and clean bathroom. I can do the rest myself.
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Racy you are a woman after my own heart. Don't worry I'm pretty much the same. As we all know, you have a tremendous blitz, the place looks truly great but in a day or two it's back the same. I now only do the essentials, dishwasher, decluttering (hubby is a hoarder and keeps everything even woolies dockets, not to be referenced or anything, but he just doesn't throw anything out). The other day my MIL was coming around for lunch so I polished the furniture (with a wood fire it definitely needed it) and vacuumed the floor. Pity I didn't have my glasses on. I thought I'd done a great job until I was sitting in the lounge room later with my MIL - with my glasses on - and all I could see was all the dog hair still in the carpet....
I do love a sparkling clean and neat house (who doesn't?) but it's just a constant cycle, so my house has a constant 'lived in' look to it. I've given up the pretense of caring too much about it.
I hear what your saying though Kylie and I agree it would be better if your family rallied around and did it for you. You can't be doing it at the moment and yep, leaving it will just make it a bigger cleaning job in the end. Get firm, and give them some jobs to do. That can be your job - delegating.
Speaking of which, I'd better get cracking and do some of my own tidying up before DH gets back from his night away in Perth.
Happy Sunday everyone. xxxx
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I was on my own through treatment and with 5 dogs, the place was a disgusting mess. I'd be so sick I couldnt get up to let the dogs out sometimes so their urine ended up permanently damaging the floating laminate floor I put down when I first bought my house. I spend a lot of "vague" time staring at smelly damaged floorboards and geting depressed about it back then lol. Also the overgrown yard which my sister and bro in law couldnt keep up with, so I ended up hiring a guy to come around and mow/weed and generally spend an hour or two a week in getting it from looking like the worst yard in the street to the very best. Made the rest of chemo so much more pleasant with something nice to look at in the yard. Im not particularly house proud (far too lazy for that) but having the house and yard in decent condition certainly makes me feel much better.
Last year I couldnt stand it any more and got the lino guys in and feel a lot better about the house now. I cant keep up with the neverending dust but I do wash the floor at least once a week and theres no lingering smell or filth there anymore.
This recent cold and rainy weather has the bathroom and toot all mouldy so theres a big job waiting to be done sigh.
Wish houses came self cleaning lol
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Lyndal, do they have the cancer society over there that you can ask for help, like house work etc while you are going under chemo etc. i mean you are not in state to do house work and care for animals and being on your own, they got them over here, i only needed them for rides to get to rads a couple of times, but i was told they help you, well we had to contact them, but i thought they may have been abit more forth coming, esp for you, thats if you have that in Auz. i was told they come and do house work, will take you shopping for groceries or do that themselves if you could not go out etc. they must do it up north, and they automatically contact you, down where i am, you have to ask and i hate that. you went thru a hard time, poor lady and i bet alot of people do. not get help or support. love and hugs to you. xxx
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We have a big student population here and we actually hired some students to help with the house packing and been over Christmas break, gave them a job and we also hired four male students to help getting the other house ready for sale by packing boxes and lifting stuff, as i was unable to do it. they were a godsend and such nice boys and it provided an income for them over a three week period. was a big job at the time.
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My family live in the same suburb and did their best and I couldnt ask for outside help morally with having family around, it wouldnt have felt right. Is just as no one lived with me, when I was sick there was no one to let the dogs out to the toilet. Many people are worse off then I was, thats for sure. Ive never liked people around me when Im tossing my cookies either, so it worked out best I guess.
Would have been nice to have someone around to get me a drink when I needed it, to clean, let the dogs out etc, but it wasnt to be and I made it through.
Just glad I finally got new flooring here so that that awful smell isnt around anymore.
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Lyndal, doing it on your own must have been really tough at times.
It was always my motto that kids don't remember if you have a clean house, but they do remember if you were there for them. I have recently revised clean to messy...
My temper tantrum worked and a family working bee ensued. We had visitors this afternoon and I didn't feel embarrassed letting them through the door. Something so simple can have such a huge impact. x
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I must admit I was pretty lucky when it came to looking after the house during chemo. My DH did what he could (which was a fair bit) he vacuumed, washed, ironed got his own meals ready etc. I had a couple of girlfriends who would come and do the dusting and clean the bathroom etc. One girlfriend (my BFF) drove over 3 hours to come and help. So all in all I was very lucky. Lyndal I don't know how you managed on your own either. My DH was great, in that he didn't "hover" over me and left me to myself when I needed to be on my own, but made sure I had water etc. During Taxotere, one of the things I craved and actually tasted halfway decent was chocolate ice cream lol and when we ran out of it one weekend (mind you I was only able to eat a couple of teaspoons at time) he wanted to drive the half hour to the nearest supermarket to get some more for me. He's sweet.
Kylie - glad your temper tantrum worked, sometimes that's what it takes :-)
Hope everyone has a great week.
Trish
xoxo
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Hi girls, pretty wet over here, front lawn flooded out abit. Hubby went out earlier to see if the bunnies needed to be shifted incase they drown. it has rained constantly for hours.
I did not do chemo, but i could imagine it been hard enough to cope with somebody there, but trying to look after yr self and the simple things like the dogs going out and getting a drink would of been tough. I get Meneaires disease, its the inner ear off balance thing, and you get pretty down, it affects one side normally and i could lay on that side, normally my left side, i would just vommit and have to crawl to loo as i could stand up, the room would spin. my last attack was in jan this year, it justs hits you and can put you out for two days. and week to get right. they say stress does not cause it, but triggers an attack. VERY NOT NICE. i could not do a thing for myself at those times. i take my hat off to you lyndal for the way you seemed to cope. its those little things. and i understand that some people dont like alot of people around either, very understandable.
take care girls. and its very mild here.
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Have not seen Alyson much lately, hope she is ok, miss not seen her.,
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I am here midnight. Feeling a bit better thank goodness. Life seems to be have been busy especially with DGD with chiken pox. Granny baby sitting has been called on a lot. Last week I had to finish a skirt for DD1 who is singing with the NZSO in Der Valkyrie so that took some time to get it sitting right. Then this weekend my US cousin arrived so it has been great to see her and her DH.
Other cousins are coming over soon for a late afternoon tea.
As of today I stop the femara. Have been on a 5 year trial for side effects. Anyway I am rather scared about stopping but onc says at least we have it if its needed which doesn't make me too happy.
Will write more later.
Big hugs
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Glad to c u back on Alyson and hope you ok, catch you later, love and hugs
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I am soooo excited. I am going to be a Grandma! I never thought it would be this early but I am so pleased.
I got to go to the twelve week scan today ,so I am allowed to tell people now. It was just magic to see the little fingers wiggle.
Kylie xox
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Oh Kylie, CONGRATULATIONS that is wonderful news. Is this your daughter who only recently got married? Well there is now a great huge light at the end of the tunnel for you, and something truly magnificent to look forward too. I'm sure he/she will be your best medicine. Hugs Kate xxxx
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That's great news Kylie. Very happy for you.
Gerri
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Congrats Kylie, wonderful news
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Kylie, congratulations on the baby. Is it due in December or January? I hope your daughter is close so that you get to spend a lot of time with the babe.
I'm also very happy that you got your house cleaned. Hopefully it will stay that way for a while and you won't need to ask for help again.
Even after rads, it could take a while before you regain your former energy.
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