Bonfire of the Goddesses
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Hi all! I was worried about people finding out about me having breast cancer. I just wanted my few to know and that was it. Well it didnt take long for several to know. I didnt want my life to be only about cancer and that was it. So far I have been lucky and some ask how Im doing. I keep it short and sweet then the convesation moves on. I know that some people are concerned but it does make them nervous so if its short and sweet they are good. I guess I would rather them hear it from me then the gossip that can swirl around.
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I had to do so much damage control with all to gossip that goes on here. Mind you, most of the people were not back here from the north - they spend a lot of time on the phone - that is what can make it so bad. What started the whole mess was my assistant manager told 1 - that's right 1 person and the cycle started.
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O wow Jo Im sorry.
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I live in a 62 and over bldg.and i was not home while i was doing tx.when i came home someone told me we thought you were dead.people talk and we cannot stop it.I said while i was all dressed up with high heels and makeup on DO I LOOK DEAD?????those are the people who dont know anything about what I had.
old people (except me) have nothing to do so they talk.lets not throw them into the fire...they just need to get a life.Slowly Im learning how to detach.thank you Jo for this thread where ever it takes us....hugggggggs K
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This is such a good way to get those thoughts and feelings out. Others here understand and "get it". This was not my idea - it was Nancy91355. We owe her a big thanks for thinking of it.
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I'm telling you! That bonfire is MAGICAL!!!! Once you toss something in it and turn around and walk away, life somehow feels better! And those embers sure sooth my aching shoulder too!
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I am going to toss in the kind person who wrote me an email telling me that this was a sign for me....to 'offload' on someone? offload on her? I don't even remember which of my courses she was on...bless her for being kind but seriously....I want to throw in all the people who are talking about my health and then seeing me and saying "Well you look great!" as if they are shocked..how am I supposed to look? Like cyclops? are they expecting to see a brand on my forehead saying breast cancer? heart attack victim? or is it survivor....ARGH!!! in the well wishers go tonight...not in the mood for them!
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I had someone tell me today that I looked good now - better than before. What is all that about? Is breast cancer supposed to improve my overall appearance? I don't get it. In goes that person and while I am at it, all the other people who have told me I look good now.
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It's the word 'now" isn't it or, he one I love ight now "Well (big pause), you LooK good " (with the intonation on look as if you aren't but the packaging is ok)...or looks can be deceiving?
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Okay, have another thing to throw on the fire. Over at the Physical Age Appearance thread... a few of us are looking for a shampoo for gray hair. Seems that some of us enjoyed using Pantene's gray hair formula...which has been DISCONTINUED. So, the good ladies that we are, all ran out and bought other gray hair shampoos and we've been reporting back on how well they worked. Since most of the products that we've bought were awful...guess where they're going today? On the fire!
Until Pantene comes up with a "New and Improved" shampoo for gray hair...I feel a little better that the other shampoos are burning....Really, how dare they discontinue the product!
And in honor of Marybe...I am also throwing into the fire the word "Discontinued." I think we all hate when we find a product that we love and then it's "Discontinued." May the word "Discontinued" burn too!
Now I feel much, much better!
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voraciousreader - Someone had told me about that shampoo. No wonder I couldn't find it. Ugh! I use Pantene's shampoo for fine hair. I really don't have gray hair it is silver. Even finding shampoo for silver hair is hard.
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Jo --- Go read what we wrote on the Physical Aging Appearance thread. And then throw what you have on the fire...
I also think I should head over to the Hoarder/Decluttering thread and tell them about how many products are burning on the fire.....
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voraciousreader - The more stuff we can throw on the fire, the better we will feel. The plus side is the fire will be really big and a place we can warm ourselves. I will have to check out the Physical Aging Appearance thread. I have not run across that one.
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My SIL - my brother's wives who I have known for more than 20 years still have not called, emailed or anything. And my mom who thinks that their bratty behavior is acceptable.
So SIL - you do realize that your daughters share 1/4 of their genetic heritage with me? That someday, they might need copies of my medical information or treatment whether it is for BC or anything?
And, my sons are watching how you are treating me...... Think they are going to help you?
Can we have a section of the fire dedicated to goes around comes around?
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pebee - Welcome. Of course we can have section of the fire dedicated to "what goes around, comes around". Tnis is the place to unload all the crap and make you feel better.
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Back to the you look so good comment. I get that all the time because I have lost weight and they want to know what kind of diet I have been on. Let's see radiation for 8 weeks and you are just too darn tired to fix anything to eat. That shuts them up pretty fast. In the fire.
Although the complement that I look like I did in high school is good so I'll keep that one.
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I like this thread....had never looked at it until Voracious told me about it. I am on my lunch hour right now but am sure given a little time I can come up with plenty of things to add to the blaze. Luan, I think you should go right back to that grocery store and tell that nasty cashier This is the best I can do for now, or do you prefer this look?and rip your wig off. Give her a sweet smile as she is standing there with her mouth gaping open and feeling like the little tiny worm that she is and walk off.
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Ha ha ha, Marybe, that is such a great idea ! I should've done it a few months ago when I still had the "somewhat shaved look", now even I cannot stand to look at that mad scientist cap of mine - would not even show it to my onco !
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I think you ladies should write the company and let them know how many of you use that shampoo!!! As for throwing in discontinued stuff..every time I find a soap I like or a shampoo, it is discontinued!!! no enough gray in my hair to worry but it is often a curly tangled mess so anything that gets through it is in my good books..assuming it does not have parabens etc!
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Dear Voracious, Did anyone try drugstores.com for the shampoo? I found a product I love that no one carried anymore there. Cheap & quick shipping. Maybe???
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Thank you, ValGal, for asking about Drugstore.com. Yep! We tried. Nope! They're out of stock!
I'm going to also throw the words, "New and Improved" into the fire. That's what the Jhirmack shampoo label said! I don't know what the previous one was like..."New and Improved" is a gimmick just to make you buy a damn product. If the old one was good...why improve upon it? When thinking of "improving" some product... the word "Coke" should come to mind and everyone should just call it a day.
So, today...onto the fire goes "New and Improved." It joins, if anyone has been following my posts, "Again," "Recurrence," "Facebook," "NONSENSE," and "Discontinued."
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voraciousreader - I agree with you on the "New and Improved" How can it be new when the product was already on the market? As far as improved, what was wrong with it that they had to make changes? Into the fire it goes.
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Yup, toss in all the cliches: you look great; stay positive; well, I could get hit by a bus; are you okay now...
And while I wouldn't throw a person on the bonfire, I sure would like to put all the bad feelings associated with it there. I'm now tossing my toxic anger at a friend who used to judge me about not being as great a friend as I could be, who said we were like family, who made my wedding dress, who wrote me thousands of emails and hosted me when I visited her country...who wrote and said "I trust all is going well with radiation" and when it wasn't, never wrote back. That was five months ago.
I'd also like to unload my feelings towards our former house co-owners, who when we tried to sell our property when I got diagnosed, did everything in their power to slow the deal and make sure they got the most money possible.
Oh, and how could I leave this one out: my cousin who never bothered to call and wrote after it was all over "sorry I fell off the grid". Well, sorry, you don't get a repeat to make it up to me, honey.
While we are at it and I'm in a crabby mood about the topic today, I'd like to throw in all the times have to explain that my sh***y haircut you all know looks horrible, not cute, was a product of treatment.
I think the #1 thing I hate about cancer: having to face the fact that people I considered close friends can be ruthless, uncaring, and narcissistic.
Yay, bonfire!
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LtotheK - Yea - There are a lot of people out there like that. Shame on them. They don't see how much that hurts us - they are the ones that just don't get it.0
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how about all the new and improved stuff that still have parabins and sulfates in it?????
what did they improve????
I have sooo much soap as now im only using dove for sensitive skin,tons of body cream that each and every expensive one has all thes wonderful flowers etc.and parabins.ALL THE PRODUCTS THAT HAVE PARABINS AND SULFATES IN MY APT ALONE CAN MAKE ANOTHER EXPLOSION......
stay away from the fire.im goin to the BS in a few min.im scared and mad....look out.
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Ok, speaking of throw-aways..........The day of the lumpectomy the hospital I frequent.........gave me this bag of light purple paraphenalia................(thank God it wasn't pink)...............The sock things were called "Paws", and had little rubber things on the top and bottom...........I spend the whole freaking time 7am to 12:30 (surgery time) saying to my 6 kids as they came in 1 at a time........."No, I don't have my socks on upside down", then the gown they gave me..........clever, holes all over for whatever had to go inside or on it............which was fine,,,,,,till the nurse came behind me grabbed this big friggin hose and walked toward me........................I said "hey I don't know whre the hell your gonna put that thing, but wherever it goes I'll pass"
found out later it was to heat the under part of the gown to keep me warm..............ok, so how the hell did I know...........bonfire.................................yea,
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I need to toss whoever told an old colleague of mine about my recent 'health situation'....the person wrote to say "I know you do't want people knowing but I just had to write"...really? did you? If I have said I don't want people knowing until I ell them ...and someone tells you anyhow and you know....keep it to yourself....I know people are being kind...I know people are stunned by the news and feel they need to say something....I know...I know...I know....really, I know....but I did not tell you....so pretend you don't know....
then again...how the heck does anyone know I feel that way right? oh..I know....I told them! so in go the well wishers who can't keep their mouths shut....just temporarily..they can come back out if they promise not to tell anyone else.
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Sandeeonherown: I know it shouldn't, but your post made me cackle! I love the do-gooders that really do-no-good! In the fire!
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make some room by the fire.i just got off a thread that is hot hot hot and i think they will be heading this way......STAY AWAY FROM THE FIRE THE TEMPERS ARE FLYIN AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN......BACK UP.0
