Bonfire of the Goddesses
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Voracious...FAPITIZED!!!! excellent!!! My galpal's dad used to say we were 'guilding the lily' when we'd do the make up thing for parties and such in high school..I have been pretty au natural since then ( with the exception of lipstick)..this week, for some odd reason, i decided on eye liner and got all kinds of comments on how great I looked and what was i doin gdifferently...etc and then the "are you 54 ?" comment..innocently asked I am sure but it did make me really look in the mirror....yep...will try the concealer! Thanks ladies!
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Sandee.... One more thing to "guide the lily" (love that expression too!). As we age, LESS is MORE, but we STILL have to do MORE. Not as much as Peggy Bundy... However, as we age, IMHO, we have to do a drop more...but do it in a way that it appears LESS.
On the physical aging appearance thread, I mentioned that I love to wear sheer lipsticks, Target's Boots line of sheer lipsticks is beautiful. I've turned many women around my age 55, on to it. I also wear concealer, AMEN and an almost sheer foundation. I also wear a drop of liner...NO mascara. I also DO NOT color my hair... I read Anne Kreamer's Going Gray...and also had the pleasure of meeting her and there is NO way that I will EVER color my hair!
http://www.amazon.com/Going-Gray-Motherhood-Authenticity-Everything/dp/0316166618
Sure, I know that genes have something to do with our looks. But Sandee, I always believed in some advice that I got from one of my aunts who always was "fapitzed." She used to say to me, when you step outside of the house, make sure you're a "lady." Now that might sound chauvanistic today, but there really is nothing wrong with putting our best foot AND face forward. Imagine, if EVERYONE stepped out of the house lookin' like they just got out of bed in the morning?
I'm not advocating that you spend a lot of time in front of a mirror. For me, it's less than 5 minutes to get the face ready and 5 minutes choosing what to wear and getting dressed. Got my style down, whatever that is. Sometimes people tell me they bought something to wear that is "my style" and I'm left wondering exactly what they're talking about...but I guess, I MUST have some style...and it can't be that bad....
And Sandee....I think our appearance radiates OUTSIDE from WITHIN. If we feel good inside, then whatever we do on the outside just looks EVEN BETTER!
And you saw for yourself what a little eye liner did! Scary that people notice little changes, but you also see how people enjoy seeing one another looking nice!
So...into the fire today goes the OLD Sandee!
I'll have some marshmallows roasting for the NEW Sandee!
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I just want to add something to the makeup/clothes thing. My teenage DD used to try to get me to change the way I was dressing to be more like what some of her friends' mothers were wearing. I pointed out that I was, on average, 10-15 years older than many of those women (she's the youngest of 6, born when I was 42) and that what looked good on them wouldn't look good on me. I told her something we should all remember - if you dress in a way that is appropriate for someone younger than you, it will probably make you look older. I should add that people are CONSTANTLY surprised when I tell them I'm 61. That's mostly good genes but also heeding my own advice!
Leah
P.S. The wrinkles can still go in the fire.
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I love love that my hubby thinks Im super hot without makeup! At first I was not willing to stop wearing it, but I did and lets just say I love it. I havent wore it for over 15 years. I dont even own any. I know its not for everyone, but I love the fact I dont have to do it anymore!
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Paula...The DH also finds VR hot WITHOUT makeup. However, what comes to mind, bless him, after 30 something years of marriage, is that LOVE IS BLIND...I honestly think that when he's looking at VR, when she isn't hiding her face behind a book, he STILL sees the 16 year old girl that he fell in love with..... Again, VR was never one for wearing much makeup in the first place.....but most people aren't as blinded by love as Mr. VR......... 0
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Science proves that love is blind Scientists have shown that there is a degree of truth in the old adage that love is blind. They have found that feelings of love lead to a suppression of activity in the areas of the brain controlling critical thought.
It seems that once we get close to a person, the brain decides the need to assess their character and personality is reduced.
The study, by University College London, is published in NeuroImage.
The researchers found that both romantic love and maternal love produce the same effect on the brain.
They suppress neural activity associated with critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions.
The UCL team scanned the brains of 20 young mothers while they viewed pictures of their own children, children they were acquainted with, and adult friends.
The team found that the patterns of brain activity were very similar to those identified in an earlier study looking at the effects of romantic love.
Euphoria
Both studies recorded increased activity in parts of the brain's "reward system".
When these areas are stimulated - as they can be by food and drink, or even monetary gain - they produce feelings of euphoria.
But perhaps more surprisingly, both studies also showed reduced levels of activity in the systems necessary for making negative judgements.
Similar findings have been found in animal studies.
Lead researcher Dr Andreas Bartels said it was crucial that both romantic and maternal love were viewed by the brain in a highly positive way - because both were crucial to the perpetuation of the species.
He said: "Our research enables us to conclude that human attachment employs a push-pull mechanism that overcomes social distance by deactivating networks used for critical social assessment and negative emotions, while it bonds individuals through the involvement of the reward circuitry explaining the power of love to motivate and exhilarate."
The research did highlight one difference in the brain's response to romantic and maternal love.
Only romantic love triggered heightened activity in the hypothalamus - which controls feelings of arousal.
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/3804545.stm
Published: 2004/06/14 08:49:27 GMT
© BBC 20120 -
Love it VR!!!
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All interesting!!!! True enough Voracious...My sister has the same thoughts as you...I have never been a make up wearer- generally feel proud when I remember to put cream on my face at night! So...I will keep doing the eyes...until I decde to start wearing my contacts again....they have been on hiatus since the surgery 18 months ago...just felt like one more thing to worry about, oddly enough..lipstick I have always done so perhaps I will invest in a few more new colours! Thanks Voracious!
That being said, one of my best galpal's also said I looked younger lately (ok..older by a kid I have never met and younger according to a pal who has been with me through all of this..think I will listen to her!)...I believe it is because I have finally 'let go'...don't really think it is the eye liner I occassionally remember to put on...I think I have accepted and am happy again....my style has never really been what is in vogue..I am a lot shorter and bustier than the average bear...I wear what I like..what is colourful and flowy...I don't worry whose age it is meant to be for...I shop for my shape...all good! (and my shape is not about to put a thong on with low rider jeans so no one needs to worry about that!)
But....perhaps we all need an Oprah make over!!!! Now THAT would be wild!
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OMG, Sandee - do you think we could get Oprah interested in providing us all a makeover???
It must be the season of the year when I get restless, but I am ready to throw all my old stuff onto the bonfire and buy all new. New clothes, new car, new house.... went to some openhouses today and fell in love with a new home. It is beautiful. (Then I got home and realized my current home is just fine really, won't have to move, just have to clean.) And I already got new boobs/foobs - just want new undergarments that fit to put them in.
So maybe I should just throw my covetous thoughts on the fire!!!
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Linda! As long as you are not coveting someone else's life partner... There is nothing wrong with coveting... A little tiny bit.... Throw the old stuff in the fire and by all means... Make a beeline for Nordstrom's Rack!
And Sandee, like I said. Appearance radiates from within! Glad you are happy! Wear your happiness! Doesn't cost anything and you can easily wear it with everything!0 -
VR, not to worry about coveting someone else's life partner - I wouldn't part with my DH for anything!!!!! I am very blessed in that regard. Norstrom's sounds like a good idea, though!!
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Linda...I am up for adoption! I wish I was in a position to be looking for a new anything...clothes, car, or house! Well, I am on the hunt for a new place to live...I rent the house I live in and the landlord is in foreclosure! hhhuuuuuhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Throw my landlord in the FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay everyone, I promised someone I would get them some info on diverticulitis------can't remember who it was. If it was here send me a PM. thanks sheila
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Anyone interested I wrote a new topic thread on constipation------ah the things we share-sheila
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/781867?page=1#post_2830873
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SAS....looks like it is time to dump the moderators in the fire because there is a glitch in linking links! They sent me a convoluted email on how to link a link. Heaven forbid you just cut and paste. Anyway, your constipation link doesn't work and I would very much like to read what you have to say!
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http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/781867?page=1#post_2830873
VR...Try this one
Copied and pasted and it's working
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dancetracer/sas-schatzi: it was me who posted regarding negligence against a doctor on misdiagnosis. I threw my BS and MRI radiologist on the fire. Yes, there are several states that recognize misdiagnosis as punishable compensation. However, there is only a 2 1/2 year threshold/statute of limitations from time of 1st diagnosis. There are sometimes ways around this if you have past that time frame. It also depends on your life expectancy. I just encountered this. Since my cancer was very treatable and my chance of survival extremely high, my case was not strong enough to go after these doctors. Can you believe that. I walked around for 2 years not knowing that my 9mm mass that was told to me was benign was actually cancer all along. And now I find out that I have no case other than a b-tch slap to those doctors. You know what, I'm throwing in the 2 lawfirms who feel that they can't make enought money off me because I'm going to live. That should get the fire raging into an inferno. Lawyers burn real hot since they are covered in greasy slime. I also post on any "rate your doctor websites" that I can find that you should run from these these two b-tches.
dancetracer- would not hurt to consult with an attorney on this. your diagnosis appears more life threatening than mine. Find one that specializes in medical malpractice. You will need to get copies of all medical records from doctors/pathologists/radiologists that did your mammos/mri's etc. There is a website that I found of a lawyer I consulted with that had some useful info. go to www.delayedcancerdiagnosis.com. This can get you pointed in the right direction on finding an attorney in your area. Good luck, hope your life prognosis is good.
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Yes...SAS...Now the second link works! Thanks for the primer! 0
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kingjr66....Have you made a complaint to your state health department? And also there are medical societies that do investigations....There's a big difference between suing for malpractice and making a professional complaint. The health department is responsible for licensing doctors and reviewing complaints. They can suspend doctors or make them go for more training or have more oversight. Furthermore, I would also contact the hospitals where they practice and make a complaint as well. Several years ago I was pissed as s*&t when my younger son had an x-ray done at a hospital and I was told that the x-ray was "clean." The gastro needed the x-ray before she did his endoscopy. I handed her the envelope with the x-ray and told her that I was told by the radiologist that the x-ray was "clean." (VR makes sure she sees the radiologists. VR NEVER has an x-ray and is sent on her way BEFORE seeing a radiologist. NOT HAPPENING.) Anyway, following his endoscopy she comes running out of the endoscopy suite with the x-ray and yells at me, "WHO TOLD YOU THIS X-RAY WAS CLEAN???!!!" My son was filled with strictures which were CLEARLY apparent on the x-ray." Don't ask how VR went into OVERDRIVE after that experience.......The gastro went APE S&*T on the radiologist. Had me go to another hospital for further x-rays and swallowing tests. I took it up with the president of the hospital. The gastro took it to the professional society for radiologists...That's how pissed she was!
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kingjr66 - thank you SOOOOO much for your post!!!! I am going to check out that website right now. Also, sending you a PM.
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Not burning anyone, but here is a story that will blow your mind................a woman I know had a mammogram done, and they found a tumor.....................she consulted with the BS who she chose to go to...........................she "ASKED" for his advice whether to do a MX, or go for the Lump.............he said he would rather her make the decision, but she persisted, and finally he told her.................the tumor seems small enough, that I do believe a Lump. would be the way to go.........................she listened.............had the surgery.......................had Chemo........no Rads..................after about 2 years the tumor re-appeared.........same area........................she was livid, and in her mind thought the Lump. was going to be a ticket to a long life......................she sued the BS who suggested the Lump, saying he should have advised her to get an MX.
The lawyer said they could probably get 1 1/2 million dollars if they really pursed it, and didn't settle out of court....
She chose out of court..................got $900,000 from the BS...................she pushed for his advice.......................he gave it to her after much hesitation,....................she listens to him...................cancer comes back (which has happened to many women on this site with or without BS suggestions), so what the hell was she thinking......CURE.........................all I said was...................I WANT THE NAME OF HER LAWYER.
When I asked 3 different Dr.'s "What would you tell your wife to do if it was her"............................the answer....................."It's your body, and your choice"......................................
Never heard of anything like that settlement in my entire life...................It blows the mind, and she is still alive, and well, and this was 15 years ago.
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Voraciousre: will look into your suggestions. The complaint to the hospital seems appropriate.
Dancetrancer: will look for you PM.
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VR. Weird the initial link worked so I didn't check any of the links after that. Thanks for catching that. I redid all that I can remember doing. Sheila888 thanks sheila
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Voracious: I heard you
I am doing my best to glow from the inside...all those yummy veggies and the joy of seeing the daughter of a dear friend tonight...balanced out the sadness of hearing my friends dad will likely not last the night ...less than two months after her mom passed away from breast cancer...so hard...not sure what to toss in....sorrow? sadness of friends we have no ability to do other than hugs and hold...?0 -
Sandde----that's so sad--------may be a memory fire versus a anger fire. to remember both
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Hey a memory fire is good....
before we do that i want to throw in komen!!!!!
now if everyone wants to do something different we could start a memory fire of all the sistas/friends/family members who we lost to BC.Just this year alone we lost about 7 sistas to bc.lets honor the loved ones we lost.
hey what do you think?
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granny - I agree with you
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OK JOJO lets start with names...People who we will honor.
My daughter has a friend sweetie who had a sista who had bc yrs ago.she went to a huge famous hospital in NY.They took the wrong breast off.They came to her house with suitcases full of $$$$$$$.she died at the age of 40.My daughter still cries when she thinks about it.She walked every yr.for freekin komen for her!!!!!!! I cannot even remember her name but she was always called SWEETIES SISTA....I HONOR HER.
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I also want to honor our sista Konakat(Elizabeth) who we just lost.RIP.
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VC1 passed today....RIP.damn i hate bc.0
