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OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • betrayal
    betrayal Member Posts: 2,312
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    I carefully selected who I shared my dx with and it did not include anyone I worked with and most family members (avoided nasty SIL). I see that this decision has wisely saved me from a boatload of dumb ass comments from people who have no idea what this ride is like. There is no "brass ring" at, during or after the ride. Even the MD's who tell me "I am a survivor" and I have no idea if they are truly clairvoyant or just plain uninformed. I know that I am not a survivor until I die of another cause and I think my MO and RO are basing their comments on this, that I will die hopefullyof something else so it doesn't impact on their stats. I did stop seeing the one who told me "I had the "good" type of BC! Really? And then proceeded to tell me a horror story about a family members experience with BC which I did not appreciate nor need to know. They died and I was shocked to the core that they would want to share this when I was still early in my dx and raw. After seeing this MD for over 5 years, I abruptly ceased all interaction. Would love to have had this collar then.

    So, so far I would have to reserve the shock collar use for those medical professionsal who while meaning well (I'd like to think) are clueless about BC. I am not a statistic but a human forced to join a club I did not wish to join and yes, while my dx indicates I am in a lower risk group, I have yet to end up on the plus side with treatment, surgeries and complications. Name a negative and I have had it, so while I have some good days, I also have some very bad ones where just walking can be a challenge. I feel 100, my skin has wrinkled and I am losing my hair.

    So I am with you Ducky. I am trying to make 5 years on Letrozole but still have over 1.5 years and am tired of the SE. With ILC I am sure they will want to extend the Letrozole for a few more years but there is no way I could extend this longer.

  • Yogatyme
    Yogatyme Member Posts: 1,793
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    ducky, maybe we could get a group discount on those shock collars!

  • 7of9
    7of9 Member Posts: 474
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    imageWell.....survived the holidays avoided the craxies for the first time in 16 yrs!!!! So nice!...now 2 cub scout activities away from not seeing my MIL from hell until the next round of family bdays in May. Do I save my last 2 attivan for scans and ck up day or bust open for ER so I dont sock that woman in the mouth and do time?

    She called me a gold digger ( yes, the daughter in law who bailed her son out of debt, bought our house...then proceeded to call me a liar on Christmas because her son forgot to tell her we weren't going to their boring Christmas concert.)..so she and my FIL felt entitled to show up at scouts and physically stalk and shake their 9 yr old grandson to set the record straight. I avoided them assisting in the kitchen thinking I was doing the right thing, respecting nuetral ground. Allowing them to be a part of his life. Never again. You went around me, physically grabbed him and scolded him when he " stood up to grandma...because thats what they taught us to do in school to bullies". Worse was grandpa admitting his wife probably ( ya think) has isdues and talks too much but he cant stop her from man handling and saying crazy shit to the grand kids. I see the negative influences they've imprinted on him as hes not spoken up for himself at school. My niece who gets dumped off there is repeating the sad history where they took her mom to see a shrink who told them shes just a teenager. Leave her slone! Stop being the holy rollers and respect the kids and the parents. You just cant fix stupid and I dont have the time or patience to try anymore.

  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 1,667
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    That’s a good one ducky

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    The one I hate the most is: “So are you cancer free now?" I want to snap back: “Are you that stupid to ask that about me?

  • nopink2019
    nopink2019 Member Posts: 384
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    No wonder people think you are "cured". That is language used by the MOs and "pink support groups." 95% of stage 1 and 85% of stage 2 BC patients are "cured", meaning we've survived 5 years. That probably was very meaningful 20-30 years ago given the advancements in treatments. This is all that people without BC hear. Articles and advertisements about the "cure" rate don't mention that 20%-30% of those patients get a recurrence after the 5 year period.

    Many people do not understand the word "metastatic". I had a friend ask how you could have breast cancer somewhere besides your breast. And I've had to explain MBC to many. To some, I just said "google it."

    I think almost as stupid is "you look great". Of course, I have a great wig, lots of eye makeup and lost 10 lbs from the cancer. Looking good, but physically and mentally, not so much.

  • Lomlin
    Lomlin Member Posts: 116
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    @nopink2019 - love the name. I threw out everything I had pink. Actually I was reading up on the very first ribbon for breast cancer was peach from Charlotte Haley, which later became pink. What, because pink is for girls? I hate pink! LOL on the 'metastatic' geez, I would tell them to google it and not waste my breath. 5 year mark has no meaning to me. My mom had breast cancer in her mid 40's and got it again in her late 50's, past 5 years.

    https://www.bcaction.org/2014/06/24/in-memoriam-charlotte-haley-creator-of-the-first-peach-breast-cancer-ribbon/

    if anyone is interested ^

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    yeah, at 5 year mark i wax foolish enough to think i was cured, damn onc even said i was. Forward to year 8 and the tummy ache and back pain i had been dealing with....not to mention weakness in my legs well......bingo stage 4 with mets to liver and bones. Stupid has no cure. I was just at cardiologist and his nurse asked how much more chemo i had......duh, till i give up i guess!

  • Lomlin
    Lomlin Member Posts: 116
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    So sorry to hear @proudtospin...Sad

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    thanks but i am stubborn about this stupid cancer stuff, aint giving up!

  • LiveLoveLaugh2020
    LiveLoveLaugh2020 Member Posts: 173
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    Sorry to hear as well proud. You stay strong and stubborn! :)

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    well my pet scan is wed and meet with onc on friday to discuss results. 3 months ago the scan showed shrinkage in all the critical spots so think of me and give positive vibes

  • LiveLoveLaugh2020
    LiveLoveLaugh2020 Member Posts: 173
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    You will be in my thoughts and prayers proud. Sending many positive vibes your way :)

  • nopink2019
    nopink2019 Member Posts: 384
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    This is not totally stupid, but annoying. Friends 10-15 years older than myself who complain about having another birthday. I just have to shut my mouth.

  • jrnj
    jrnj Member Posts: 407
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    you look great! How do I respond. I had too saggy dds removed which made me look fat and stuffed foam from craft store in my sports bras. I’m spray painting my bald spots. And loading up on makeup. And I don’t feel great. Stay positive! Sorry I’m a realist not an optimist. I focus on details. And don’t get me started on stupid incorrect comments from drs.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    Nopink, that would drive me over the edge!



  • gailmary
    gailmary Member Posts: 438
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    wow! Friends complaining about another birthday.

    I see a woman every week and she complains about having to go for a mammogram. Gee, I gotta go for scans 3 or 4 times a year. Quit ur bellyaching.

    I get 3 shots 1 x a month and she says "arent you done with that yet?" Umm, what part about stage 4 don't you get?

    What got me most upset is my sister saying "well if you walked 3 miles a day you would sleep fine". I guess cause I didn't try it for 3 weeks I'll never know.

    GAILMARY

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    stupid people just are!

    Well went for pet tnis am, got appt with onc on friday to go over results

    Can we talk chemo brain? Thought i needed to pay my real estate taxes but the stubb on the bill for this month was missing. Thought maybe i had payed it already but no note in my checkbook. Bingo, got statement from bank today, i paid it 2 weeks ago........Cant remember anything!

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    Here’s something to tell ourselves when we encounter stupidity

    image

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    image

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
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    so true.

  • sandyaust
    sandyaust Member Posts: 82
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    I can’t believe my little thread is still going strong after all these years. I am 52 and 16 years out from my diagnosis. I am looking forward to living to ninety and beating the stupid people at bingo in the nursing home

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    you have given me the jollies on some really crazy days, bet you beat the crap out of the folks in the nursing home!

    Thanks

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    This thread has given me a reason to let off my frustration about stupid people

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    yeah, like my neighbor when I expressed nervousness when my onc took me off chemo for april over concerns about my immune system during period of expected peek of the virus..I was nervous regarding the scan after the month off, my neighbor said, maybe you will be all clear..so did I mention I was stage 4?

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    imageimage

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    may need one of those! Good 2 x 4

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,529
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    image

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,538
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    Mommy - that's great!!! going to copy and share with my DH. Thanks.

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
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    image