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OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

Yes it's true. There has been a new and miraculous cure discovered for stupidity!!!!

Who would have thought....YIPPEE.  I can now put it in an email and send it to all my stupid friends and relatives that have sent me emails about the latest cure for cancer.

 Yes it is a vegetable you have never eaten, a tea you can't stand to drink or wait you just scoop your own doo-doo right out of the bowl and smear it all over your don't worry.

We could really have some fun with this.  Any other suggestions?  I just got the asparagus email from my husband's stupid aunt.  I don't know what she was thinking, that I would smear it on my chest and grow back my boob or dump it on my mother's grave and bring her back to life.

We all know "you can't fix stupid" but ladies we could have some fun trying.  What are your suggestions???

Love Sandy




  • motherofpatient
    motherofpatient Member Posts: 124

    Really? Quick! Someone send it to Charlie Sheen - a healthy man who is destroying his own life when all of you are fighting for yours and look at all the media coverage he is getting. On EVERY channel this morning and last night. Wish cancer needs and research got that kind of coverage. What a backasswards world we live in.

  • LuvMyLab
    LuvMyLab Member Posts: 34

    I got one about lemons..  here tis... Geeezzzzzzz if only we knew earlier, darn I'm mad:

     Read carefully & you be the judge.

    Lemon (Citrus) is a miraculous product to kill cancer cells. It is
    10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy.

    Why do we not know about that? Because there are laboratories
    interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge
    profits. You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know
    that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste
    is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of
    chemotherapy. How many people will die while this closely guarded
    secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the beneficial
    multimillionaires large corporations? As you know, the lemon tree is
    known for its varieties of lemons and limes. You can eat the fruit
    in different ways: you can eat the pulp, juice press, prepare
    drinks, sorbets, pastries, etc... It is credited with many virtues,
    but the most interesting is the effect it produces on cysts and
    tumors. This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types.
    Some say it is very useful in all variants of cancer. It is
    considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial
    infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and
    worms, it regulates blood pressure which is too high and an
    antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.
    The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of
    the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more
    than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that: It
    destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including colon, breast,
    prostate, lung and pancreas ... The compounds of this tree showed
    10,000 times better than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally
    used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer
    cells. And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with
    lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not
    affect healthy cells.

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 1,927
    So if I squeeze lemon all over my asparagus, I've got it made!!  Laughing
  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 403

    Natsfan - thanks - I just spit tea on my monitor Yell

    Sorry ladies - I am not very creative in the mornings - I need to revisit this thread tonight but great start!

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 333

    Wow, I am impressed - a REAL CURE for stupidity?  Humm, liquid or pill form or can it come in a vaccine?  Imagine if it could be a part of every childhood immunization!  If we cure stupidity, maybe there is a real chance for finding a cure for breast cancer - and many other cancers while they are at it! 

    The well-meaning people in my life just keep telling me I am going to be ok - since I am treating traditionally in conjuction with eastern healing, I don't get much in the bizarre area but I do have to say that within the Gerson program (juicing aside - that is just plain healthy for anyone) saying that 8 coffee enemas daily are going to cure my breast cancer - frankly, I much prefer it in a cup with cream and sugar...although seeing the two references side by side kinda has me looking at my coffee cup a little funny at the moment...

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631

    OH DANG!!!  I am seriously laughing so hard right now!!!  I too have received all of the cures!!!  Lemon on asparagus!!!  That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!!!!!  I wish I would have recorded my reaction to this and posted it on youtube ...

    Thank you a million times for starting this thread ... It's going in my favorites so I am sure to get a good healthy laugh every day!!

    A CURE FOR STUPID!!  I just can't get enough of this!!!  Love and hugs!!

  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 112

    I love cottage cheese so was really happy when that email circulated. I also love asparagus. Cottage cheese and asparagus together ought to really do the trick. Makes me happy just thinking about it.

  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 29

    Tell me what the cure for stupid is so I can give it to my Friend's friend who so graciously and confidently informed me, while I was going through chemotherapy, that she knew someone who had invented the cure for breast cancer, but the evil government conspirators forced this person to go into hiding so that the cure wouldn't come out so that the evil medical community and the evil drug companies could keep brainwashing us into thinking we needed them so they can make $$.  This inventor of the cure is apparently in hiding somewhere in New Mexico. Yell  

    Er, seriously?  

    Someone sent me the asparagus one.  Didn't know about lemons.  I'll have to notify my oncologist.  

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 1,017


  • imbell
    imbell Member Posts: 61

    Along with stupid cures how about the stupid e-mails with angels and candles. Come on people I am the one with cancer.  Wish me luck, ask me how I am  instead of asking me to pass on some meaningless candle message.

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 333

    Laurie...I almost lost my tomato soup over that one...ROFL!

    Caerus...don't you know that while a positive attitude won't cure us, it will makes us happy while it is killing us?  OMG, really?  That is a negative person I could do without...

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936

    OK, I have now snorted Earl Grey tea all over my monitor and this thread has only gotten started.  The only "cure" I have come across is just to throw their stupid a$$es under the bus because for most of them there is no cure- they're terminal!  I consider it a mercy killing.  (Mercy for all of us who have to listen/read their drivel!)

  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 112

    I don't so much mind the candles, but I sure hate to miss out on the wonderful things that are going to happen 7 minutes after I pass that candle on to 7 people. I keep thinking that wonderful thing might come in the form of money, and then I'm scared not to pass it on. I don't worry about missing out on the cure because I'm convinced I have that covered with the asparagus and cottage cheese, as long I don't forget and drink the water that got warm while sitting in my car. There's just so much to remember and chemo brain makes that hard!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936

    Wait!  Just saw a thread on here called "A Cure for Breast Cancer is here".  The cure?  Marijuana!  So smoke 'em if you've got 'em!

  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 112

    At least you'll die happy - maybe not happy, just mellow!

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631


     You'll have to add Doritos and Pepsi to the shopping lists!!!

  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 112

    I've already got the munchies - I'll be bigger than a house!

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631

    Oh I hope that laughter is the next big cure ... we've got that one covered right here!!

  • socallisa
    socallisa Member Posts: 10,184

    you know what, I have probably tried it and never knew it..

  • mbtlcsw01
    mbtlcsw01 Member Posts: 250
    I'm at work laughing uncontrollably.  I will bring in lemons to work daily and suck on them while I'm seeing patients.  On another thread, Barbe1958 made a great statement about the positive thing--"yes, I'm positive I have breast cancer."  Yes, I just delete the candle/angel emails.  I guess that is why I never got any of the good stuff they promisedLaughing
  • suzwes
    suzwes Member Posts: 765

    ROFL, this thread is so funny.  Our favorite saying at work is "you can't fix stupid" but I'd love to help you ladies find the cure for it.  I can't believe all the crap I got about what I did wrong to get cancer and what I should do to get rid of it from the positive thinking to the deoderant I wore and the plastic bottles I used.  Geeze!

    I've also gotten lots of the angels and candles and I'm sure I've missed out on millions of dollarsLaughing

    Maybe if I put garlic around my neck and pour the wine over my head (instead of in my body) I'll cure my cancer - or maybe that would cure stupid!

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631

    hillck - This just in ... a left hook delivered properly will boost the effects of lemon and asparagus absorbtion (something to do with metabolism and healing energy ... worth a shot I think ;)

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 1,605

    Great thread!!  I too have spit my diet pepsi all over my computer.  Keep them coming and keep me laughing!

    When I was first dx, an aquaintance told me it was probably caused by my eating habit. WTF???  I eat healthy (along with some junk) but the person who said that to me weighed more than 400 pounds..........hmmmm.....

  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 112

    She may have weighed 400 pounds, but she sure didn't have cancer. Maybe she's right!

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631

    YEAH!  My boss told me how my habits were the cause ... that weeble wobble may be the guy we're looking for!!  Muhahaaa

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 1,605

    If she's right then I am going to join those above, I'm getting me some marijuana, doritos and pepsi.  Yum!

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671

    ROTFL:  OMG, now that you all found the cure for stupidity will you please let the person who keeps sending me angels and candles know???!!!!  I get those darned things daily in many forms and can i just say hit delete before I throw her under a bus!  Thank you for the belly laughs!  This is soooo going on my favorites.  I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time.  Thank you, thank you, thank you! (just dodged my laptop with a mouthful of coffee, lol).

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965

    Gotta chime in here--- wish I had kept the fb PM, as I really don't care to spend the energy re-typing it.

    Went something like this:

    We (wouldn't you love to know who all these "we" people are) are trying to raise BC awareness here in Facebook. Last year, "we" all put the color of our bras as our status. All the men were wondering what was going on! (really--- you think they were all scratching their heads over this?...NOT!)

    This year, "we" are posting our relationship status as a fruit (yes, you ARE reading this correctly). Use the following key (I'd repeat it here but I'd then have to go hang myself for wasting the time)

    Don't answer this PM, just forward it on to all your FB friends.


    It just makes me MAD and want to go out and eliminate them from the gene pool.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671

    A banana??? Really??? Just shoot me now!

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965

    Well, if you were single you got to use Apple...