Not quite a horder - decluttering
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On my gosh, borogirl! It broke a glass jar? What a mess! Dangerous to try to pick through coins and glass shards! Our plastic jar would get too heavy to move for vacuuming! It's still heavy but I can nudge it.
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Muddling, My heart aches from hearing about your grandmother’s experience with break-ins. It is such a violation no matter the amount. One of our first apartments had an entrance partly obscured by stairs to the apts. above. I put a hanging plant out there to make it cheerier. It was stolen in a couple of days. I posted a small note there- can’t remember what it said but but some unknown person came along and put another plant there. That made a world of difference!
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Sara536, how good that a genuine human being replaced the plant! Most people are good but the rotten eggs get most of the press ☺
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I am back in my home town which is a quaint little New England spot. My mothers family was one of the families who settled the town back in the 1600s. Several in the family are trying to off load family collectibles from generations before to me, but said no room to take or anyone to pass down to. I suggested the town historic society and have a few items for them myself.
I went for a tour yesterday which was great fun and got some ideas of things I may send to them to have in their collection for the duration. Something I have been trying to do for years but they are rarely open and never when I have tried to go.
Now to return and look for some of those items I can ship.....
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Jazzy, what a difference between New England and New Mexico! And fascinating that your mother's family founded the town you are from.
I'm taking my own advice when it comes to tackling the home videos I need to edit. I'm chunking the process down into manageable time frames: a half hour at a time. It's easy enough to find a free half hour a few times a week. I'd been overwhelming myself thinking I needed a big block of hours to try to plow through as much as I can in one sitting. That led to inaction and getting nothing done. With the new approach, I'm making a little headway every week.
Editing videos is similar to going through photos. It takes you back in time and you want to savor the memories. That part slows me down which is okay. There's also an awful lot of pointless video clips that are boring as hell, ha ha! And I get a little picky about narrowing some clips down to watchable moments. When all is said and done, I'll be glad to wrap the project up.
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On another de-cluttering subject, I am going through my safety deposit box and thinking about ways to pass down some family heirloom jewelry. I have a pocket watch my mother asked me to give to my nephew when he gets older that belonged to his great great fathers and is made from gold (so I am told). It does not work, but took it with me on the trip. My sister said it might be good to see if it can be fixed to actually run and agreed. So I decided instead to not give it to my nephew this time, but going to take it to an antique clock place in town I found last year to fix some other clock things and see what they can tell me about the watch. My nephew is going to come visit next year and think that will be the right time to give him the watch vs. this visit. I want a good hand off on this one!
I am pushing 60 and don't have children (nor does my sister) so I am looking more broadly now to pass along some of these family items to my cousins kids, nephew, etc. No need for me to hang on to all this stuff. Or they may go to the historic society in my home town too. The gold watch is from the other side of the family, everything else I have is from my mother's family who settled the town where I grew up. Time to pass along some family history to the ones who can appreciate things!
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Jazzygirl, I hope you get the watch repaired. That's a treasure.
I've been doing small decluttering tasks, nothing major. A few drawers. A few more items out of one difficult closet. Maybe soon, I'll feel like tackling that entire closet, ha ha. I want to take three sets of china to Replacements to sell. That will be a huge job and not sure I can convince DH to do it. Plus, I hate calling places, making appointments etc. Sigh.
I've decided to mail a sweater to a cousin in England. His late mother knitted it for me when I was about twelve and I loved it. The cousin's granddaughter is about that age now and might be glad to have something made by her g-grandma. I've kept it safe in a cedar chest all these decades since I outgrew it. It won't free up much room but it will be a good thing.
We went to the attorney's office yesterday and signed wills, POA's, and advanced directives. So, that's done, at least.
I need some inspiration for moving forward with clearing things out!
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Muddling - Do you have a Replacements by you? I'd have to mail my stuff. Every place I've talked to locally said they really don't want good china if has to be hand washed. They might take on on consignment don't expect it to sell for much. (and this if from a Junior League shop) The younger generation only wants to toss things in the dishwasher. Unfortunately my Lenox "Tuxedo" china has a gold rim around the edges so can not go in the micro or the dishwasher. My Mother is turning over in her grave.
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MinusTwo, it's about an hour's drive away, if we avoid rush hour. Two sets are fine china with gold or silver rims. They have them for sale so they stock these patterns. I know they won't give me much for them but they will be out of the house and DH wouldn't have to deal with them or leave them for DS who is, indeed, of the generation that doesn't want any thing like wedding china to bother with. I remember being delighted to choose and receive my china as gifts. Ah well....
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Muddling through- when I am doing anything hard, I like to give myself milestones and rewards at the end. Set a deadline to finish something, and then maybe go out for a nice meal, to a movie, etc. A fun experience to look forward at the end that will be waiting for you. It works for me most of the time, maybe for you too?
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Jazzy--it can be challenging to find family members who want certain items when one has no children! I hope the watch can be repaired, that will make it all the more valuable to your nephew. You might want to write down its history to pass along with it.
Muddling--don't discount the progress that small projects represent.All progress is good! Getting the wills, POA's and advance directives formalized is a good thing. As for inspiration to keep decluttering, can you set yourself a reward for doing a certain decluttering job, or for working on decluttering for a certain period of time? That works for me, gives me something to work toward that isn't just thinking about decluttering.
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Jazzygirl and NM, thanks for the encouragement. I probably seemed too pessimistic. I was probably tired when I wrote. I have accomplished a lot and I will get to the rest of it. I do count it as a win if I toss only a couple of things each day. We aren't that cluttered anyway and if I ever see an episode of that hoarding show I think our house is practically empty, LOL.
Today I'm going to discard most of my son's clothes from his dresser. He naturally left sweats, t-shirts, socks, underwear here when he went to college so as not to have to bring much with him on breaks. However, he went to college ten years ago,LOL! Hard to believe it's been so long! He lives and works hundreds of miles away and rarely gets here for visits. His room is extremely tidy but I'm tossing anything that is worn out or that he's outgrown. Keeping very little. I have plans for that room <evil mom chuckle>.
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Haha, Muddling! Love that evil chuckle, lol. I 'm glad you see your accomplishments, no matter the size or amount. It always feels good to me to get a drawer or shelf decluttered. Usually takes such little time. Then I especially love ugh that drawer or shelf a year later and finding even more things to discard, plus it usually goes quicker than the first time.
I have a closet with 3 shelves next to the kitchen. On the floor is a plastic bin for paper recycling and a card table and chairs folded up. The shelves hold miscellaneous extra food and kitchenware. It's one of those spaces that ends up being a catch-all for off season things. Instead of fighting to keep it always decluttered, I just go through it a few times a year to discard and straighten it up. It takes 15 minutes or less.
Muddling, one way I find inspiration is by reading books about decluttering or hoarding. I would love to get my hands on more of them.
And I am inspired always by this thread and everyone’s comments and suggestions and experiences!
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My GS was persuaded to reduce the clutter in his bedroom after his parents showed him an episode of hoarders.
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I know what you mean, Wren! That show ought to scare everybody! Usually I can't watch it, either because of the filth or because of the poor person's distress at the process.
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Today it was about purses. Basically, people have given me some nice purses as gifts, but I really REALLY intend to stick to small handbags. I'm doing 5 weeks of PT now for my shoulder and the best thing I can do for Future Me is get these big bags out of the house. I donated them to the School Thrift Shop.
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I could probably start a store with mine. I still can't believe how heavy a small purse can be when stuffed.
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Muddling- decluttering makes us exhausted, but it is more exhausting to have the clutter, right? Also, like Divine said, sometimes just shifting gears from something large (closets) to something small (a drawer) is a great way to keep it going and to feel progress. Big jobs can overwhelm me, so I try to break them up in to management tasks. You are doing great sister!
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Muddling, I can relate to your son having gone to college ten years ago and you are finally getting around to addressng the contents of his bedroom. I can't believe my ds graduated college three years ago already. Editing all my videos and counting up the coins in the water bottle are my way of wrapping up those years and moving on from when he was younger and living at home. (He asked for the bottle when he was a 10 so we could save change). I don't take videos anymore, it is up to another generation to record events should they want to. And when I told dh I was getting rid of the watter bottle once the coins were counted, he let out a little sad, “ohh.” His reaction irritated me. Then I said, “we use our debit card most of the time these days and don't have left over change like we used to years ago." He knew that was true and admitted he hadn't put change in the bottle for a long long time. So why did he have to get sad about getting rid of it? That part irritates me. We have SO much stuff and never want for anything. C'mon, give it a rest, dh!!!
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I hate to admit that my son went to college 30 years ago. Oh my - he's 48 this year. After about 10 years he came & sorted through all the boxes of old school work, old pictures, etc. He left only one box of memories. And we got rid of most of the clothes that were still lurking. Because he usually drops by only once or twice a year and is usually in uniform with only a carry on bag, I do have a pair of his tennis shoes in the closet and a pair of flip flops. Also two 3 button shirts for going out to dinner. In "his" dresser there are a couple of "work" shorts & T-shirts since he always does "honey-dos" when he comes.
I do have an old small suitcase at his house with tennis shoes & sweats & T-shirts & a heavy coat. Saves me packing such things when I go there.
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DivineMrsM and MinusTwo, if I'm honest with myself, I'm still in the sad part of the empty nest phase, even after all this time. Over these ten years, DS, DH, and I have been through his room a few times and gotten rid of many clothes. What I had to discard yesterday hadn't been sorted for a couple of years and had developed crackly elastic or were not the right size for a grown man compared to high school kid. So, I will get a few replacements, possibly "borrowing" from DH so that DS will have work clothes for when he's here. We do put him to work which can't be fun but he knows some things take two men to move, build, paint etc. I'll get him a new pair of pj's, one pack of underwear. He's still got a pair of sneakers here and work boots, hat, jacket etc. Typing this makes me miss him more, but I am so proud of him and all he's accomplished through grad school and getting well established at his job. I just wish we didn't live in the back woods of the back woods. There is nothing here for him. Very few young ones stay here after high school. Our formerly prosperous small town is almost a ghost town.
To get back on topic, I hope to clear off my computer desk today. Yikes, how does it get so cluttered? I'm not even in there often since my spine mets make it uncomfortable to sit there for any length of time. DH had to go to Lowe's yesterday and (drum roll) he remembered to bring paint chips! We've got to paint a bathroom, DS's room, and the office/guest room. By "we", I mean DH.
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Muddling--what kind of plans do you have for son's room? Love the evil chuckle!
Mrs. M--sounds like you've got a good routine going for that little closet.
Wren--sounds like GS saw a little of himself in the show?
Heather--good for you for getting rid of the big bags!Good for you for taking care of Future You!
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Ha ha, NM, both DS and DH have learned to run for the hills when I get ideas.
The plan: step 1. Get son's twin bed and dresser out. Sell, give away, or toss.
Step 2. Paint room
Step3. Either set up DH's home office in there (He has a fabulous new u-shaped desk, hutch ,cart still in cartons to be assembled.) OR we get a new bed and put our old bed in there with a small dresser we have. Since DH will have to do 99% of the work either way, he will decide. I just have to choose the best time to give him the choices.
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I had big plans to scrapbook once school started. Lymphadema struck and I'm in bandages. My fine motor skills suck. I need to get cracking as my Six year old thinks that's a great idea and keeps stealing pictures for her creations.
Also added a puppy to the household. You can imagine the paraphanaila. Must teach her to clean up her toys.
Going to have extra kids after school for the three weeks. Cross country classmates and two BFFs whose Gma is having surgery. Chaos reigns!
I did hang curtains in my bedroom but need help moving my dresser. The totes are hiding behind a fun screen in the basement. Handyman did a lot of my honey do. Still have piddly little stuff that could be knocked out in a day or weekend. Stupid LE!
Interesting about the change.
Good for you thinking ahead to surgery and the holidays. Concentrate on your core and flexibility in twisting. Will help with recovery and personal hygiene.
Look up a new restaurant or fun activity that you can reward yourselves in the town that Replacements is located.
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Happy Labor Day everyone!
I have been looking through my kitchen at all the things I have for entertaining, with the idea that in reality, I really don't do much of it anymore. I usually have a friend or two over for dinner on the patio or small dinner parties inside in the summer months, have not done a larger party in a good 10 years (pre-bc) and my last holiday meal here was in 2014. I don't have the desire to have big gatherings anymore, so I am taking a different look at things in the kitchen now, and asking myself if I can let go of more things related to entertaining? Yesterday, I started with the stored linens (table clothes, place mats, cloth napkins, etc.) Some things that were my mother's and can now go. A bag for donations and a container with items for the home consignment store (and anything they don't want goes to donations). The home consignment store where I take things is literally up the street from the my favorite donation spot, so anything they don't want goes immediately to donations (I never let it come back to the house!)
Cabinets with dishes, glasses, serving items, etc. next up for review.....
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Oh, do I need some serious clean-up works! First, I am retiring from the office after 36 years in less than two months! The outdated papers I cumulated in the office is tremendous! Luckily we started paperless movement 12 years ago, most files are digitally saved now. Still, paper chasers just can’t part with all papers.
After retirement I won’t have execuses of too busy to declutter my house any more. So, decluttering is my main job now!
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Zills, sorry to hear about the lymphodema. Your household sounds like it's really jumping!
Jazzy, you are great at assessing what you have and determining if it's still needed or not!
cling, congratulations on the upcoming retirement! And best wishes as you declutter!
I'm making great progress editing my videos. The company I send the VHS tapes to have digitized, iMemories, breaks each tape down in to small segments, and I can edit each segment. One video might have dozens of segments, from filming slices of life like a birthday party, a snowy day, son on the guitar, ect. Another tape may just have three big segments, like when I taped ds's high school marching band performances. Some videos have up to two hours of viewing material and some others have much less.
All told, I sent in 50 VHS tapes.
I already made 6 dvds from the first 25 tapes I sent in and ordered those copies a year ago. I've just completed editing the last 25 tapes which went much quicker than the first ones. A total of 5 dvds this time. I'll watch each one before I order copies to make sure the editing is to my liking.
I can feel a big burden lifting, and isn't that what decluttering is all about?
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Divine- great job on digitizing the videos. I have to get all my photographs better organized and some digitized. Thanks for the compliments on my assessment for de-cluttering. Each year I look at things with a different eye!
I am sure many of you whom have dealt with elder homes will relate to this. My sister is at her partners home in Texas checking in on the mom this week (the elder is late 80s, lives alone, does not drive, relies on her network of kind friends to assist her with everything, also has dementia). They arrived yesterday and found the home clean but with piles everywhere and things stored in strange places (bottles of medication in the sink, other things stored in the dishwasher). My sister also finds piles of folded clothing, towels, etc. all over the house in places that could create fall issues. We went through cleaning out our parents home that lived there for 50 years and know how to get rid of stuff.
I was brainstorming with her this am about how to best help the clutter situation, and suggested started with the obvious which is to figure out if she needs help putting away the piles, does she have enough storage space, does she need a dresser to put some additional things in? Storage containers can at least get things into something short term. Can anything be donated? But then my sister was out back in the yard and found a lot of broken pottery, a cat carrier (she has never owned a cat) and more things that purely need to be thrown out. So my sister said she was going to start there and offered to get the broken things into a dumpster for the MIL and would take the cat carrier to some donation place. The response? No thanks, I like it that way. Sigh.
My sister also has found the MIL uses the garage for all kinds of storage from pots and pans she needs for the kitchen to many other things that should be the house and more accessible. My sister is a doc and we just talked about how all of this is the product of someone who is very isolated with a cognitive problem. This elder needs to be in another living situation but of course refuses, but my sister now sees what is ahead of her when the time comes she will have to leave and the house will have to get sold. She will do what she can but realizes the resistance to help make things better there will be rejected.
One thing I am grateful for is that our mother always allowed us to help her to de-clutter a lot before the time came for the big purge. I think refusing the help to purge is more common than not. Thanks for e-listening friends!
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Jazzy, She certainly is not living in a safe or appropriate place. And I know she'd be kicking and screaming all the way to assisted living. There's not much anyone can do. I think sometimes the helpers make it easier for the person to pretend she's doing OK. I hope they made sure there was food in the house. Does someone check on her regularly to make sure she's alive and well? I certainly don't envy the family who will deal with the house in the end.
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Wren- totally agreed. The woman has friends who check in on her regularly, but they all went out to dinner last night and the friends are growing weary (they are not young themselves) and they wanted to know what my sister and her partner would be doing this trip? I think they were hoping they were going to figure out a place for her to go. I suggested to my sister they get her set up with some kind of visiting nurse and other resources that will help to relieve the burden on the friends.
My sister will end up dealing with the house in the end. At one point a number of years ago, she thought I would be volunteering to help her clean it out some day, because I did such a great job with our parents house. Not my family nor do I live in TX, so I suggested she should find a company that can help do that some day. Now that I think of it, I am going to remind her she needs to talk to a company now to ensure they are available when the time comes.
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