Not quite a horder - decluttering
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3 boxes of stuff and a big bag dropped off at the thrift store on my way to OT just now. I dropped it off before on purpose so I would not have time to shop!
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good udea
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My newly arranged dresser drawers are working out great! Funny how a simple change around makes everything flow easier.
I went through most of the drawers in my bedroom, straightened things, tossed a few things. I've had a small gift bag where I kept old, unused medicines—like some are 7 and 8 years old—tucked in one of those drawers for a lonnng time. Local paper ran an article about a nearby town having a drop off box for them, and when I googled the address, I found my own town's police department has a drop off box! It's 3 blocks away. When I dropped them off, I realized I've walked right past the box every time I pay my monthly water bill in the same building! Duh! Anyway, glad to have those gone. A note on the box says to drop the pill bottles in, but heck, I wasn't going to leave mine with my name plastered all over. I took the bottles and disposed of them at home.
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Good plan taking the bottles home! There's so much info on those dang medication bottles!
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Here, they recommend marking over the critical information with an indelible marker. OTOH, If you take off the label entirely, they are good for storing pins and needles and tacks and pennies and all sorts of stuff.
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About pill bottles - I've taken the labels off & saved bottles for pins, etc. Now I have two full shopping bags of empty bottles in on of my closets. Time to purge.
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I cleaned out a drawer in the kitchen and asked DH to choose some things to take out. He actually did remove some things!! We have a lot of take-out plastic utensils. I suggested keeping a few and tossing the rest. He decided to take the excess, put it in a bag, and put it in the camping stuff. I pointed out that we were never going camping again. He replied that we would know where it was when we needed it. He doesn't seem to grasp the concept of never needing it. We have sporks made from indestructible plastic-like material. We could eat from them for the rest of our lives if needed. I had one at work for years for lunches. The knife part actually works on tough food. The way his memory is going he won't remember where it is and probably won't notice when I toss it. If he does remember, it can join all the items we know we have but can't find. If he goes 1st, I'm getting a dumpster.
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Minus2; LOLO! Not that much!!
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Divine--I'm glad you found the drop off box, and glad you didn't drop off the pill bottles as well!Our recommendation in Hospice care is to peel the label off the pill bottles first, or put all the pills in a zip lock baggie or similar thing to take to the drop off.Tossing the bottles with labels separately is a very good idea, and inside a dark garbage bag or inside a shopping bag or box so they can't be seen through the garbage bag if you put them into the trash. Personally, I keep my empty bottles, peel the labels off while watching TV or a movie, and use them to store all kinds of things in my sewing room.
Vargadoll--Good point!
MCBaker--The marker thing works, as does taking something with a point on it and scratching off the sensitive info.But the label peel off pretty easily most of the time.
Wren--Your husband putting the stuff with the camping gear reminds me of the stuff I've got stashed away in the basement to have if I ever get a camp. I'm looking at retirement in less than 10 years, pretty sure buying a camp isn't going to happen, time to purge that stuff, this summer when it's warm enough to work down there!My mother still has stuff saved up for "when we get a camp" too. I can tell you from experience that having a dumpster is a wonderful thing! No storing up trash until trash day, able to chuck big stuff without paying extra and working out when I can go to the dump (my town doesn't have its own, have to depend on the neighboring towns open dump days).A 2 square yard dumpster with once a month pick up costs me $34 a month. I'd have to pay that much each time I used one of the neighboring dumps and still have to store the stuff for months until the open day comes. I live alone and I can fill the dumpster in a month when I'm really purging and cleaning.
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Hello -
Just found this group. Yay.
I have been de-cluttering for many years,even way before cancer invaded my life. I like donating over garage sales. I used to count how many boxes or items I donated. Got up to 485+ but quit counting.
Unfortunately, I am now stage 4. Perspective on de-cluttering is much different now.
From a non-morbid, practical standpoint, my biggest issue now is severe fatigue and mobility issues are slowing my de-cluttering/organizing efforts down. What I was able to do in 1 hour now takes all afternoon or even all day.
I have figured out some very effective techniques to keep me motivated to keep plugging away...but some days I just go take a nap to escape the mess.
Gumdoctor
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Gumdoctor--I'm sorry to hear that your decluttering efforts have been slowed down by the rat bastard. Would you be willing to share some of your motivational techniques?I am in dire need of motivation.
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Hi Native Mainer -
I have just figured out what works for me over the years. I hired an organizer nearly every Saturday for about a year. She taught me a few things but I taught her more
I see on the internet people are getting into Marie Kondo's methods. I have not seen her show or read her book yet. Here are some things I do that work (for me):1. Pick one room (space) as your primary focus and a second room (space) as your secondary focus. When you get tired of the primary, do something in the secondary. Even just 10 minutes is better than zero minutes.
2. Use a timer to define short-term segments. If you can do something for 5 minutes, you are likely to spend 5 and maybe even 10 minutes on it (or more). I use this technique when I am exhausted. Example: Work on putting this stuff away from this one box for 15 min. When the timer goes off, I often have emptied the whole box. If not done, I do something else then come back and do another 15 minutes.
3. Reward yourself. This is a classic psychological technique. We are likely to repeat a positive behavior (like eliminating clutter) if it tied to something we think is a reward. It is very important to avoid rewards that involve bringing more items into your home. This is counter-productive eh? Example: Once you finish clearing the kitchen counters, you can pot the new plant and place it in the sunroom.
4. Envision exactly what you want to accomplish for your endpoint, then what you want to accomplish right now while you are woeking on it. If you are like me, the de-cluttering you need to do is a multi-day, multi-month project. I want my whole house to be ready to put on the market to sell. That is too big a goal for anyone to accomplish in one step. I have to break it up into many many smaller steps and pick one of these steps to work on. Don't worry about ALL the steps right now. Just pick one or two and go for it.
There are alot more ideas I use but this is probably mind-numbing enough...hoping it goes well for you and you find just one thing that works for a short period (like just 15 to 30 minutes) to jumpstart your efforts in a positive direction.
Gumdoctor
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this is all so inspiring for me since my husband has so much stuff all over the house: I don’t know what to do with the things that we both think we “might need sometime” like certain baking pans etc that tend to just take up room....
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April,
Do you have attic or any storage space? As long as you can find a space to store something, you do not have to get rid of it.
Before you tackle the '"maybe-somedays," you can surely conquer the "for-sures" you KNOW you do NOT need to keep.
Gumdoctor
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hi gumdoc! thank you for responding with such good advice!! my attic is currently full of stuff... nothing is labeled and I can barely move up there... it’s all in giant bins and garbage bags.. I am afraid to ask my husband to help me with it because he won’t want to get rid of anything including old plastic knives and forks...
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My DH didn't want to toss the plastic knives and forks either. '**empathy** Of course, if it's been up in the attic for so long you could go thru it when he's not around and toss what you want. If he wants something in the attic, just say you don't know where it could be. If you haven't needed it for a year, you probably never will. Family heirlooms are an exception.
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April,
I once lived in a really huge, old crumbling farmhouse. It did have a greqt fireplace and an amazing country location...I had entire rooms full of stuff upstairs and down. I don't want to say I was a hoarder but I certainly had hoarding tendencies...mindlessly filling emotional voids with stuff...
When I decided to tackle it, and absolutely had no idea how to start or where to start, i took masking tape and marked off a 2 x 2 foot section and just worked on that section until it was cleared. Then on to the next 2 x 2 foot section and so on. Some sections took several sessions and some took 15 min. After doing that for about 2 months, I cleared out the kitchen and moved on to other areas on the main floor. After 6-7 months, I re-claimed the main floor and could truly enjoy the gigantic living room and fireplace. I moved upstairs and did the same thing.
The first thing I learned in doing that was doing anything, even 10 minutes of tidying up, is better than doing nothing and letting the mess win. The second thing I learned? Labelled boxes (or bins in your case) of stuff are WAY easier to look at and to manage and to do something with than piles and messy stacks of stuff.
I bought cheap cardboard boxes (I get them from Lowe's now), all the same so they would stack. And I just started sorting and labelling. Not with the intent of getting rid of stuff, just with the intent of getting a handle on what I had and being able to find things by labelling them. In the process of doing just that, I did causually, easily get rid of the "for-sures" I mentioned earlier. No pressure. Just going thru things easily, calmly, happily.
If I could be there to help you, I would suggest that we make a path before doing anything else. Safety is important too. Once you can see a little floor and move around your things, you start to take back ownership of the space. Then you feel empowered and it starts to become a good thing and then a great thing. Once you start, anywhere, on any of it, it does not stay awful for long.
I also have a husband who does not tolerate getting rid of his things. So I work on my stuff only and then one thing at a time, a few days apart, I ask him about this or that thing and where he would like it to go. I also have to pick the right time to ask him. It is not worth an argument or negative emotions. This too becomes fun, to figure out how best to approach him without provoking him.
I like talking about all this but I fear I am rambling. I hope it helps you to think through how you might tackle it...I am always willing to listen or bounce things off of me. I am not a self-proclaimed expert. I have just been doing this for a LONG LONG time. And I find I need all my skills more than ever, to help me with this daunting task of going through everything I own, before the cancer takes me.
Gumdoctor
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April, for the cooking items, could racks or other organizational items provide solutions in your existing space?
Gumdoctor, great ideas!
DH and I are downsizing from a 2 story 4 bdrm house to a cabin and when sell the house and relocate, DH can pretty much retire. So, I’ve identified a small spare room to stage all things going to the cabin. As we go through items, they’re sorted into trash, sell, donate or keep, if keeping, the items location in the cabin must be identified. The project lost some steam with holidays but it’s back on in smaller bits.
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Illimae - What you are doing is simply amazing! I am not ready to downsize that much because it would be very stressful to me. I admire you immensely. And I am sure you will enjoy your new streamlined life.
Gumdoctor
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Gumdoctor, I agree with and have also approached decluttering with many of the same ways you have. Oh, including the husband. Knowing when to discuss the matter—very important! And I don’t touch his stuff.
You are so right in saying a consistent small amount of time decluttering is effective. I call that “chunking it down.” Last year, I managed to edit and condense dozens and dozens of home videos down to several cds and I did it by telling myself, just take a half an hour and stop. Then do it again another day. Because I had been trying to find big blocks of time, say three or four hours at a stretch, where I could work on the project but that amount of time was hard to come by. I found a half hour could stretch to sometime an hour and 15 minutes and that was okay. I am thrilled to have that project complete.
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Divine - Oh so empowering!!!
Gumdoctor
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thank you thank you thank you all of you!!!!
such wonderful and valuable information
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Years ago someone told me to put clothes I wasn't wearing in a box in the attic. If I hadn't needed something or tried to find it in a year, donate the box unopened to Salvation Army or other. It really worked and can be used with kitchen stuff, shoes, books, etc. I look at things hanging in my closet every day and try to decide if I'm really ever going to go back to a second 'post retirement' job. (thank you BC). And I still have the pan to cook a 25-30 lb turkey, even though I live alone, kids live in another state, haven't used it in 15 years - and anyway my DIL is a vegetarian. This method really did work for me so maybe I'll try it again.
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I hear you on the turkey roaster. I don't even want to do Thanksgiving next year. A nice meal at a restaurant would be just fine.
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I've been lurking on this thread again for a week or so... I'm glad I dropped in, because you all have been sharing some great advice! My problem is almost always motivation, but I also tend to "reward myself" after I have tackled a declutter project. Believe it or not, I just put my Xmas stuff away over the weekend. We were gone over the holidays - back Jan 6th - back to work - out of town again and then finally had the weekend to myself. I find that that is a great time to get rid of things - whatever I didn't put up this year (unless it came from my mother or grandmother or something like that) is in a box waiting to go to Goodwill. I think I mentioned prior to Xmas that I took Divines advice and actually used the bags and wrapping I had instead of buying new things. Yay!
And... you all are SO NICE about your husbands. I hope my husband never pops in here and reads this. I am feeling terrible.... I get rid of his things all the time. I think he could be a male hoarder if it weren't for me. The ONLY things I don't touch are anything to do with baseball and/or the St. Louis Cardinals.
This isn't exactly decluttering - but one goal I have for this year is to get my paperwork organized.... sort of "my affairs in order", I guess. I have things everywhere. My mother in law died last June and didn't have the energy to do any of that while she was sick, I guess... because now everything is a total mess and nobody can find anything and it's really causing problems. You hear about that all the time but I have never experienced it. Anyway - I need to throw away things like my 1999 tax returns and old receipts, etc... and put the paperwork that matters into one neat place.
Love reading your posts.
XO
Andi
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Welcome Gumdoctor to our happy group!
Okay, after my last report on Christmas, I did buy some wrapping paper on sale. It was three rolls of paper of solid colors (gold, silver, blue), that could be used for any occasion. I also bought some bows and ribbons.
My 20 yo DD got bored the other day and cleaned out some shelves of paper goods, toys, etc. She tossed about 5-6 bags (13 gallon kitchen size bags) into the trash. I was not home when she did the cleaning.
This is the same DD who a couple months ago tossed a lot of clothes that I thought were still good, but she didn't like them anymore, or had ordered the wrong size online and didn't return them, or whatever. Many still had tags.
I resisted the very strong urge to check the bags. If these paper goods, toys, and so forth have been gathering dust in the corner, there's probably very little stuff of value in there.
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Andi, the paperwork does fall into the category of decluttering, especially because some documentation is of vital importance. It also seems to be something that generates itself, in other words, we don’t go out and buy it, it sort of appears, through the mail or life events or as an offshoot of purchases. I find using colored folders helps, like putting insurance papers in a blue folder, banking papers in green, ect.
Mominator, it’s probably for the best, to not look in the bags of stuff your dd tossed! Easier to move forward. Perhaps all the discarding will convince her to think twice before making new purchases.
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Gumdoctor--thanks, that is reallyhelpful. I already do the timer thing, but have been looking at the big picture and getting overwhelm and need to break it down.And build in some rewards.Thanks a million for sharing!
April--I have a whole cabinet full of "might need sometime" stuff!I'm not even sure what exactly is in there anymore. One of my kitchen projects is to empty out that cabinet and see what is there and deal with it all.
Wren--good point about not needing something not used for a year.
Illi--great approach to downsizing, especially the part about identifying a location for each keeper item.
Mrs. M--Goodjob!
Minus--I have my turkey roaster, too, it's attached to a lot of memories of family meals, so I allow myself to keep it.
Andi67--paperwork can be a real challenge to tackle. Putting it all in to one box or drawer is a good idea. Even if the box or drawer isn't "organize" at least all the papers are in one place.
Mominator--good for you for not opening the bags. It is hard to think of perfectly good clothes and things going into the trash, but better the trash than cluttering up the house.
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On rewarding yourself, I worked with a life coach last year around some work things and as part of our work together, she would say "now how will you reward yourself?" One thing it made me realize is that it does not have to be something tangible (although sometime something small as a momento you will enjoy will be okay too). A trip to the movies, or out for a nice dinner, spa treatment are all great ways to reward yourself. It can be more experiental vs. tactical, like an item or stuff.
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I love reading all these posts! So interesting to learn different tactics.
I have put off some projects at my house to work on cleaning out my mother's house in preparation for putting it on the market. Her house had been "cleaned out" before and thank goodness for that, but there was quite a bit left. My sisters, our kids (about 7 of us) worked over a 3 day period - bagging up clothes and tons of stuff for charity, bags and bags of garbage and stuff for the paper shredder. My mom had saved every plastic container from fresh spinach she bought, and lunch meat containers, frozen dinner containers and empty pill bottles (all washed and put away). Lots of emotion involved with my mom being there (she lives elsewhere in assisted living) and not completely rational, and one sister who wants just about everything (fortunately, my other sister and I do not want much). My husband actually said, "don't bring home anything", lol. I agreed though I did bring home a few small things. I also took a somewhat "valuable" coffee table that I am going to try to donate to an organization or museum across the country. That will be a big project - finding a home for it and getting it there.
I learned that plastic bags disintegrate. Walmart/grocery bags, plastic packaging that curtain rods come in - all crumple into tiny brittle pieces. I wonder if plastic garbage bags also disintegrate, too? Like the hefty kitchen garbage bags?
Then we had some repairs to do - new carpet replaced, sub-flooring repaired, etc. This is before a home inspection so there could very well be more to come. Such a hassle because the house is 45 minutes from me. But great progress has been made.
Another interesting part is that before we started working, the house was very cluttered with dishes, scraps of paper, stuff not put away, etc. When my mom moved out, she was having mobility issues and simply could not keep the house in order. Twenty years ago, she and my dad kept the house quite neat. But in the last few years, the house looked dumpy and depressing. When I visited, she didn't want me to help her put stuff away (or entertain the idea of throwing anything away), and it felt intrusive if I suggested it. So after all the intense work my family put in, the house while still having some furniture in it and pictures on the wall, looks really great and refreshing without all the stuff - surfaces are cleared off, closets, and shelves are bare. It makes me want to go to my house and get serious about purging/cleaning off every table top, dresser, and closet etc.
So for my reward...once the house is sold and closed, I will have a lot less responsibility (I have been paying the bills pertaining to the house for nearly 7 years). Is it sad that the house will be gone? Maybe, if I really dwell on it, but my mom is never going to live there again, and my dad who died 5.5 years ago would have gotten rid of the house by now. It's time for a new family to live there and take care of it (and make some cosmetic updates).
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