Not quite a horder - decluttering
Comments
-
Dodgersgirl- I so understand that feeling. Find the momentos that remind you of your relationship and keep those.
Cleaning out our mom's house was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Sending much love
0 -
Dogersgirl- big hug to you! So sorry for the loss of your mother.
0 -
Vargadoll— thanks
0 -
Dodgersgirl, my deepest condolences on the loss of your mother.
I understand the feelings of throwing your mother away as you clean. I hope you can find some mementos that will bring you comfort.
I lost my mother last February. In August, my dad gave my sister and me some of mom’s favorite jewelry pieces. That really helped me feel closer to mom.
Yesterday I wore one of mom’s sweaters. A few people complimented me on the sweater. I was able to thank them without crying.
The hospice people sound wonderful.
0 -
Mominator— thank you for the comforting words. We took lots of really nice and warm winter coats to a shelter yesterday. Tonight it’s going to be dangerously cold. Mom would have approved of that donation
Sorry for your loss, too.
0 -
This article popped up on my FB page. I think there's a lot of truth to it, but a lot of people commented that the article was all about money.
*Top 10 Objects Your Kids Don't Want*
0 -
Divine - Great link. I'm going to look for this Elizabeth Stewart book - No Thanks Mom.
My Mother, born in 1914 (and maybe that whole generation) was soooo upset when I didn't want all of her treasured things that she'd scrimped & saved to buy one at a time over the years after WWII. Nor the things that were meaningful from her parents home - like 10 condiment dishes on the table every Sunday filled with homemade mustard pickles, jellies, etc. Looking back, I'm sure she felt I was rejecting her - her values, her life style, her dreams... I'm trying very hard not to feel the same way as my son repeatedly says NO to just about everything.
0 -
MT, I definitely think the handing down of things is more from our parents' generation. Things were hard to come by. They saved for them, like your mom. Things were not massed produced. [You had two colors of phones to choose from: black or white. Girls had two colors of eyeglasses to choose from, pink or blue, but the same cat's eyes frame and so on.] People didn't put purchases on credit cards—and women were not allowed a credit card in their own name without a father or husband's signature until around 1973! Women sewed their own and their families clothes. Individuality was not what it is today, where everyone wants to express themselves through their own purchases. If a couple bought a house, they knew their parents would have things to help them furnish it. (Who has a hope chest these days?)
I used to wish I had nicer, more valuable things to pass on to my son. I mean, I have nice stuff but it isn't heirloom quality. Now I think, meh, maybe this will collect a few bucks in an estate sale! Ha, ha! It lets me off the hook.
Oh, I will have to check out that book, too!
0 -
Interesting article! I thought the recurring comment "donate to whoever will take it" was funny. We have been cleaning out our own home as well as my mother's. I asked my 19 year old daughter if she wanted anything from our house and she just flat out said "no". I was a little surprised because I thought she might want some furniture to use in an apartment in a few years so she can save some money and wait and buy what she really wants later. But really, knowing this about her is helpful and freeing - I really can off-load whatever we don't want. So it's interesting to know that this is not unique to her (just thought she was not sentimental) and it's the new generation.
My husband and I received some furniture from his parents when we were first married. We really enjoyed the stuff and still have a couple things. One of them was an old dresser from my husband's childhood. I repainted it for our daughter when she was a baby. I don't think we will part with it anytime soon.
I also found it useful to know that china sets, silverware, figurines etc do not have much of a market anymore. Such a nice idea to donate figurines/decorative plates to a retirement home. And replacements.com might be helpful when we need to sell some stuff.
And pictures - I have tons of photos from childhood and my daughter's childhood as well as some from my parents. I will have to get my sisters' help with some of that one day.
DivineM and Minus Two - what great points about how much society has changed from our parents and grandparents' generation. It's a throw-away society now because it's difficult to get things repaired and easier to just buy new. And yes, clothing is so easy to come by now. We just cleaned out my mom's linen closet and much of it got sent to Goodwill.
I read a few books about decluttering and one of the tidbits advises you to let go of the stuff you have been unsure about because keeping it and looking at it causes guilty feelings and anxiety. Once it's gone, the guilt goes away. I have also rationalized that by donating it, you are giving that item a chance to be useful to someone else.
0 -
i just started watching the Maria Kondo NetFlix show and mentioned it to my husband who instantly replied Why Would I Watch THAT? 😧
0 -
Divine - I really don't have any vintage stuff either - just old & sturdy & well loved. Funny you mentioned hope chests. I have two cedar chests - one that belonged to each of my grandmothers. Both are from around the turn of the last century - maybe 1910? Again - well made, REAL wood, probably not worth squat. When my Mother died in 2004, her wedding bouquet was in one. She also had my wedding dress from 1966 that I never could have fit into again - not to mention I'd been divorced from husband # 1 for almost 30 years. I like the idea of taking a picture and letting it go.
GoKale - there are more & more of us who have had to clean out our parents or grandparent's homes and really understand the STUFF. It's a challenge.
0 -
sorry for everyone’s losses
I’m trying to get my sisters on board with the 31 one day challenge. No takers.
https://www.southernliving.com/home/organization/31-days-declutter-get-organized?slide=260262#260262
I haven’t started it yet. Did get the kids to pick out 18 things to donate to the schools white elephant sale to benefit St Jude. Nothing big but it’s a start.
Will have to read that article. My DD is the last great/grandchild. We’ve inherited high chairs, cradles, multiple rocking chairs and the guilt! Don’t think it means much to my children as they never got to have a relationship with them. Not sure where or how to part with them.
My dd wants to be in the church fashion show. Theme is vintage. They Have a bunch of women’s fashions donated but no little girls. I’m looking for something. Any ideas? She’s six!
0 -
Under the assumption that every little bit counts - I cleaned out the car compartments today. The trunk wasn't bad. Only 4 'emergency' jackets & 4 books in the box where I keep recyclable cloth bags for shopping. And two pair of shoes I used to have for impromptu trips to the beach. Both too small now. I still have to sort through the trunk carrier that has battery cables & other 'urgent' things.
The glove box had state maps from 2012, 2015, 2017; proof of insurance for every year since 2010; duplicate & triplicate directions to nieces & cousins & people out of town. The compartments between the two front seats were a riot. Maybe 15 match books - and I haven't smoked since 2007; at least 3 sets of the footsies that DSW gives you to try on new shoes when you don't have socks; five different scrawled lists of possible restaurants; 4 hand lotion tubes; 4 years worth of AAA cards; a hanging parking pass from a job I left in 2012; etc, etc. You get the picture.
Strangely satisfying.
0 -
Every little bit helps! It's true, small acts of decluttering actually are satisfying! I went throught a long shallow drawer in my kitchen that holds all those miscellaneous utensils, spatulas, wooden spoons, ladles, etc., and pulled put about 7 of them. Doesn't sound like much, but I did the same thing last year and it really makes a difference!
Zills, little girls fashion sort of stay the same over the years, soft and sweet. Maybe something with lots of ruffles, and an oversized pink ribbon or bow in her hair. And maybe these kind of shoes with the socks:
0 -
Thanks. We have those shoes but the white socks really date it.
My car is my purse/diaper bag. It needs to be detailed but I never seem to have free time to just sit and wait. Maybe once the weather clears up I’ll get my dad to meet me for breakfast. Will make the time pass faster.
0 -
Someone in my office met a friend downtown for lunch. She took her car to be washed and detailed, left it and went to lunch. She said it was cheaper than parking would have been. Breakfast sounds like a great idea.
0 -
I've read several articles that the thrift industry is just overloaded with donated 'stuff'. My favorite location that benefits battered women has suspended accepting any more donations for now. The articles are attributing this to the start of the Kondo television series. Great that more people are decluttering. Wonder what we'll all do with our 'stuff' when all of the outlets are overwhelmed?
Wren - I love the idea of the car being washed while I enjoy a meal. One place I worked had a company that did a hand car wash on the 1st level of the garage one day a week.
0 -
I’m not surprised to hear donation places are getting overloaded. It’s funny, tho, that Kondo’s book has been our for four or five years now but it hasn’t made as big an impact as her Netflix show. I like the book much better. But still, its great that people are beginning to realize they need to address their overflow.
0 -
A woman here who makes her living helping seniors move into smaller places has a great system. She has the person go thru the house and put a red sticker on things that absolutely have to go with her. That would relieve the feeling that treasures will be torn from your arms. I doubt there would be that many things of mine with red stickers (art supplies excepted, all of them go). I think that knowing the must haves are marked would make the sorting easier. Of course, I haven't actually tried it.
0 -
Hi ladies- I finished cleaning out a cabinet today to finish storing some serving items I use on occasion. I had purged some but moved these to be in a different place and my appliances in another closer cabinet last fall. What I found in this corner cupboard was lots of paper plates, small dishes, paper cups, plastic wear, etc. from events gone by. Some things could be recycled, but put a big bag together to give to Big Brothers and Sisters truck tomorrow along with a few other things. I know they host events for the kids and bet they can use the extras!
Interesting how places are getting overloaded with donations. It just speaks to our society as a whole having too much stuff. We are a consumer nation.
I love the idea of leaving the car to get washed instead of paying for parking. That is brilliant!
0 -
DH wins the packrat prize. He checked out some books for me and for him, but didn't give me my library card back. He wasn't sure where he had put it. So he decided it might have gotten mixed in with papers on top of his desk. He put a bunch in a small basket and started going through it. One of the things he found was a receipt from a furniture store for $555 in 1967. It was for our bedroom furniture. I could see finding it in a file cabinet or a box, but on top of his desk? We have moved 7 times since 1967. How on earth did it not get thrown away?
0 -
wow! that’s almost worth framing, wren!
0 -
Zills, Wren, LOL at taking the car to be detailed being cheaper than paying for parking! Going out to eat is a good way to pass the waiting time.
Wren--what a find on hubby's desk top!
0 -
In NJ, drivers with learner's permits and new drivers less than 1 year experience MUST have red stickers on their license plates. Learner's permit drivers must have a licensed driver in the passenger seat, and new drivers must obey curfew. We had the stickers on hubby's car (but not my minivan). DD1 has had her license just over a year, so she can take the stickers off. But DD2 has her learner's permit, and must have the stickers on the plates.
When DD1 was going to be out late one night, she asked me if she could remove the stickers. Yes, I said, that way we don't have to worry about you being pulled over for driving past the curfew. But you must put the stickers in a safe place. DD1 put them in the cup holders.
I went to take DD2 out for practice driving. Where are the stickers?
Hubby had tossed the stickers the next time he was in the car. Never asked about them, just tossed them.
Neither Hubby nor DD1 could understand how frustrated I was.
Hubby volunteered to go to DMV to replace the stickers, a 90 minute trip.
Grrrrrrr
0 -
Yes, that's the flip side - throwing out something you really need and shouldn't have.
0 -
Mominator--Oh my. Glad Hubby did the replacement trip!
0 -
very glad hubby made the trip.
Sorry wren about DH. It is an amazing find and testament to his clutter.
I passed on and dropped off stuff two weeks ago? Now have another pile started! I want to be done.
https://www.realtor.com/advice/home-improvement/types-of-clutter-how-to-declutter/
0 -
This is what I found. She already has a big white bow. Big bows are the in thing now. Have Mary Jane shoes. Just need to get some white socks. Trying to decide plain or ruffled.
0 -
Zills, I love the dress, it’s perfect! Yes, the Jo-Jo bows are the in thing now. I love the double rows of buttons amd the big white collar.
0 -
Really cute dress.
I'm going to have to re-start my easiest, front-line action. Anything that comes into the house - at least two similar things have to go out.
I bought a new pair of HOKA shoes today - strongly recommended by my podiatrist and they are great. These are running/walking sneaker type shoes. I really don't need them this minute since I bought a pair in December, but they were discontinuing last year's model so I got 20% off. Plus 10% off from the podiatrist's scrip. I will put them in the top of my closet for now, but I will get rid of 4 pair of shoes. Yup - 2 pair for each individual shoe. Since I'm a shoe nut and really don't put much wear on shoes, I'll take the donations to DSW. They have a great program to re-donate to people who need shoes & I'll get reward points for the next time I buy shoes.
0
