Not quite a horder - decluttering
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Would love to buy a half slip from someone at least knee length, waist 34, belly & hips 41. PayPal.
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On lingerie: Sometimes I feel silly keeping my slips because I need them so rarely, but...I'm glad I've kept mine.
I'll tell you: I'm in my early forties, but I was raised in an Italian-American family, so there were certain rules one observed in polite company -- certainly at church and any kind of ceremony or important event like a wedding, funeral, job interview, etc. Wearing slips is one of them. No lingerie straps showing, no bare legs, no bare shoulders in church. And idk why it's better to call them "purses" or "handbags", but I carry pocketbooks (for which I am mocked mercilessly by my younger friends), and in each one is a new, pressed handkerchief in case a stranger needs one, plus a less fancy one for me, a safety pin or two just in case of wardrobe malfunction, etc. And I'm femme, but I'm hardly high-femme. In normal life, I sport bare legs, no makeup, and casual clothing on the regular. I just think there are times and places when dressing to show respect is the polite and proper thing to do.
I know some people think these things are silly, and archaic, and possibly tools of the patriarchy...but I blanched when the dean of my college got up to give a commencement speech and clearly hadn't realized that her beautiful, flowy skirt was also extremely translucent under stage lighting. O.o A slip would have saved her. When my mom died, my cousin's teens showed up at her memorial in barely-there skirts that were the talk of the town afterwards. (I know, it's a small town!). A slip might have at least kept them from having to keep tugging at their hemlines to pull them down as they scootched up, or at least covered what was becoming uncovered. And at my best friend's great aunt's funeral, we were both scandalized by what some people wore to the funeral home. While it was kind of entertaining for us, it really underscored for me that I'd rather be accused of being a prude or old-fashioned than the alternative.
ANYHOO, what are we all getting rid of today??
I'm leaning towards tacking my boxes full of unfinished projects, like that quilt I started in college, and a pair of shoes I wanted to modify.
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Saltmarsh- I am in my early 60s and grew up in a conservative puritanical New England town and lots of rules around what one could and should wear out in public. I got lots of lectures about wearing a good support bra, wearing a slip ALWAYS with a dress, and more. My mother hated blue jeans, and as a child of the 70s, they were the go to thing to wear. She considered them "farm clothing" lol, which they probably were when she grew up in 1920-1940 time frame. I was always told you NEVER wear jeans to church for anything including sunday services, weddings, funerals, you name it.
Fast forward to my life in New Mexico where "anything goes." You can see people here wear just about anything to anything. The Santa Fe Opera, when it's running, has people who show up in gowns or jeans. Many people wear jeans to everything here, including weddings. Although I am not a church goer these days, I simply must dress up for things like weddings and funerals in some form or fashion. That stuck with me.
Oh and I have one knee length and full length slip.
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I'm 80 and have always worn a slip with a skirt. Actually I had one denim prairie skirt that didn't need one. I would love to have another just like it. I still have a couple of slips although I seldom/never wear skirts. I wouldn't mind the skirts if I had really comfortable shoes that looked dressy enough to wear with a skirt. Even the tiniest heel makes me feel like I'm sliding downhill. When I was a child we always dressed up to go downtown to shop. Mom made me wear a dress but I had wool pants underneath for warmth. Talk about chafed thighs. I don't wear wool at all now except for smart wool socks.
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With my AFO and athletic shoes. I wear ankle-length skirts. I have one that is shorter, and I wear it on occasion.
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Wren- check out the Vermont Country Store for the denim skirt. They have a lot of those classic styles
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Wren - I have two pair of flat comfortable shoes that work with skirts. Because I have narrow feet & neuropathy, I have to have some kind of strap to hold them on. But I too have NO kind of heels in my closet anymore - not even tiny.
One sort of like this:
https://earthshoes.com/products/patty-black-725015...
The other is a sort of Mary Jane.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PRY7FS7/ref=twister_B07N7GSZSH
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I just accomplished the huge task of sorting through boxes and boxes of books from our move two years ago. My old place had many rooms and many bookshelves, and I could not weed all the books before we had to pack and go. It has been very difficult. I feel like I am giving away pieces of myself. And I have the pain of reviewing all the things I thought I would do involving those books, that I now have no energy or brain-power for, and probably no future for. But I want to use all of my new living room and not have it filled with boxes. I sold many of the books at an event where I knew they would go to people who would appreciate them, and I got a little money for them, which softened the blow. But now, what do I do with the rest? The libraries are not accepting donations right now. I don't have the space and energy to sell online. I would like a receipt for tax deduction, or a little money. Or at least I want to know there is a chance of them going to loving homes. It is a lovingly and carefully curated collection, with a large number of children's books. I can't spend hours making calls and emails, and I don't do facebook. I'm kind of stuck. Any suggestions?
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I, too, remember growing up with rules about appropriate dress for leaving the house. I still have two short and one long half slip, 3 different lengths, even though I tend to have dresses and skirts that are self-lined. I remember blue jeans not being acceptable outside of home or for working in the garden or doing other heavy, dirty work. Even denim skirts were not acceptable, and jeans jackets? Horrors!
About the books--several grocery stores in my area have space set aside for "recycling" books. Anyone can take or leave books. Contact the local school about the children's books--the school may not need them but I bet they will know of places like homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, summer programs that would love to have them.
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ShetlandPony, paring down my books for my last couple of moves was a challenge for me emotionally as well. And I completely understand caring about what happens to a carefully curated collection! From what era(s) are the children's books? I have several librarian friends and may know a children's collector or two. Please feel free to PM me with details/pictures and I can see if there is need/interest among my friends, or if they have advice about your best options.
Today I will be continuing going through my project boxes to make the hard decisions about which projects I actually want to try to spend energy/time to finish and which ones I should be letting go of. I feel like this should be so much easier than it is, but similarly, there is some pain involved in acknowledging that I do not have the energy I once had, or the time or energy I imagined I'd have. But while I feel being realistic is a bit of a buzzkill, I also know I'll feel much better when things are pared down, both because I prefer not having a lot of stuff around, and because I know it's one less thing my family has to deal with when I die!
A good inspiration for me was that I recently met a man who owns a hobby shop. He is...drowning. He's drowning in stuff, and really got me is that if he were able to only focus on the hobby materials and sales he cares about, he'd probably have a much stronger business, and he'd definitely be happier. But when his parents died, he inherited all of their collections/hobby materials and now he's got 3x the stuff he should have, and no energy to deal with the excess. And while his situation appears patently unsustainable to me, to some extent, we are running that risk here with the stuff we inherited from our moms. Because the reality is, as nice as my MIL's antiques are, they are not practical for a household with active kids and pets and where we are likely to track in dirt from gardening, sports, the woodshop, the maker space, etc. We were able to offload many through a well-known auctioneer, but not all of it. We have a storage space we are keeping the last of her stuff, and that just feels like insanity to me. I know someone would love the rush chair from the 1700s, or a high-backed, hand-carved, hardwood chair from the 1800s, and someone else would probably give their eyeteeth to have this quilted spread made by a master seamstress at the turn of the century, but I have completely run out of energy for contacting auctioneers and museums. At this point, I'm getting ready to either approach an art school to see if there is a class of students who would have any interest in reclaiming/reworking/reusing these things, or just letting them go at our next "Give Your Stuff Away Day" in the Fall.
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Our parish has a yearly rummage sale. Goods donated fill the gymnasium and the downstairs hallways of the school, and the women's association rooms. Similarly, our local dog & cat rescue has a rummage sale.
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Hi Ladies! It's been awhile since I've been on this thread. I wanted to comment on what saltmarsh posted: : ..there were certain rules one observed in polite company...church... important events like a wedding, funeral, job interview, etc. Wearing slips... No lingerie straps showing, no bare legs, no bare shoulders in church. I carry pocketbooks for which I am mocked mercilessly by my younger friends."
Saltmarsh, I love that you call it a pocketbook! I say purse but think pocketbook is a pretty cool word. I, too, was raised with certain modesty rules. Not long ago, I saw the back of a thick bra band---the band around the midriff, not the bra strap, showing out of the back of a young woman's dress (it had strategic cut outs) at a church wedding. Yep, hooks and eyes, too. It gagged me.
I used to wear slips but somehow they always seemed to be sagging below my dress hemline and felt sloppy to wear. I don't wear dresses often, but put on thigh or mid-thigh spanx-type 'shapewear' when I do. These days, I'm more likely to wear capri pants or "slacks" for important functions. Some young people I know never heard the word slacks, and don't know what a "blouse" is. In the 1960s-80s, a large, local department store with many floors (similar to Macy's) had a millinery department. Kids these days don't know what that is. I can still picture the variety of hats displayed on styrofoam heads, accessorized with matching gloves and...pocketbooks....on the counters.
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I'm back because I was doing some tidying up today. How I got started: my husband is a maintenance tech at a senior citizen apt building. They keep a small library in one of the rooms. They just opened it back up after closing for a year due to the pandemic. I decided to go to Goodwill to pick up a few newer books to donate to them. I am pretty much up to date on what things cost these days. I figured maybe I'd find books there for 25 cents or a dollar. I was astonished to see they charge $1.99 for paperbacks and $2.99 for hardback books! It kind of irritated me, because come on. This is Goodwill. But I decided to spend about $20 and as I looked through the selection, I saw Marie Kondo's "The Magic of Tidying Up". I read it before and of course loved it. Since dh occasionally mentions that some of the senior citizens in the apt building have hoarding tendencies, I bought the book figuring maybe it could influence someone over there.
Before I donated it, I spent the evening skimming the pages; it's not a very long book. It inspired me; I knew it would, that's why I buzzed through it again. Today I sifted through a number of drawers and closets in the house, have a nice donation pile going and filled up a couple trash bags of junk to toss. It feels great! I plan to look in a few kitchen cupboards and the always cluttered pantry for a few more finds to donate. There's another place besides Goodwill around here that sells donated stuff so tomorrow I will take them the pile I have. I'm going to check out their books; maybe they don't ask so much for them.
Wish I lived closer to you, Shetland Pony, to browse through the books you're hoping to find a good home for!
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Hi ladies- nice to see Divine back here. Been taking things to donations again now that they are open and cashed out $700 plus dollars from my consignment account this past week to pay for an unexpected car repair. I have more things to go, but as you know it is a constant process.
My neighbor who is in her mid 70s has been failing in her home for some time now with constant falls and hospitalizations. A couple weeks ago, she had a bad fall and was on the floor in her home for days before anyone from the family came. Several breaks, including a broken hip which is a game changer. She has been needing a different living situation for awhile, but know she has been digging in her heels about making a change some time ago. Now it will come. Her brother said they were starting the process to sell the home and also said she is a hoarder so the clean out will be work. He said he was told old to do it and told him there are companies that do this type of thing and have the real estate firm arrange with one. My sister did something when her MIL had to move to assisted living. Moral of the story is, things change and we have to keep purging.
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I had a friend who recently had to move from a 4 bedroom home to a one bedroom Independent Living facility. Her three daughters got together & treated her to a service that did everything. She pointed to what she wanted & they told her if it would fit or not. All the rest - they dealt with, from old paint to growing flowers in the back yard to big furniture to pots & pans to clothes. She said it wasn't cheap but was the best gift anyone had ever given her.
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Gosh, MinusTwo, that really does sound like a fantastic gift for someone who’s downsizing. Especially since they already appear to have even more than they need. I imagine companies like this would be in big demand even if they are pricey. They don’t get caught in the emotionality of the possessions the way family members often do. How smart of the three daughters. I love that they chose not to take it on themselves and instead pay for the service. It sounds well worth the money for so many reasons. I especially love hearing that the compan will even dig up flowers from the yard to move. Impressive
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What great ideas and inspiration. I too have read Kondo and probably due to her thoughts find a lot of satisfaction in deciding what things "make me happy" and what things I may be just hanging onto. Or worse no longer "seeing" or realizing they need to go.
As for services I've heard of the "point and take" method. Brilliant of the daughters. And loving. Ive used one of those pay for service companies twice. Both times to move out items too awkward for me or large and un-donate-able (if that's even a word).
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MinusTwo and Reader, that sounds like a great service and such a good idea! Do you know what that service is called in terms of if I tried Googling it or looking it up in the Yellow Pages, what would I search for? Thanks.
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Hi Aussie-Cat,
I think calling a senior living place would have a name or two for you. On Google, I would look for downsizing. A large moving company might have people to recommend as well. It's a pretty popular thing here, not sure about Aus.
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Wren, using your tips, I did a quick google and see there is something called a Downsizing Home Specialist. I have a feeling this type of company has some exponential growth in the future and will really take off,
I dropped my donations off this morning, including a small bag of old meds I was able to take to the drop off box at the police station. I put the clothes in a recycle bin for clothes here in town as I was told they would go to local people who need them. I had one of those large anti-gravity lawn chairs that I wanted to sell for years but instead took it to Goodwill. My gosh, tho. An employee was standing outside the drop-off door and did nothing to help me unload that bulky thing. Sheesh. I guess they don’t pay them enough.
Does anyone know how the Goodwill donations work? Are they all sent to a main place and redistributed, or are the contents sold in the store where they’re dropped off? I never see any of our donated items in my store and wondered what their system is.
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I think Goodwill takes them to a central space and redistributes to the stores. I see large trucks picking up donations from our Goodwill.
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Thanks, Wren.
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Aussie cat I've used a goofy sounding group called "College Hunks Hauling Junk." Just junk- movers really so just a local search for that may work.
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Thanks, Reader. That's a funny name! I'm in Australia so that's why I asked for the category rather than a specific name. Junk movers is a good category I could search for.
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Anyone have a decluttering plan for the weekend?
The last thing I worked on was my entryway, which is feeling much nicer. Win!
What I keep avoiding are the filing cabinets and the craft supplies...so maybe I need to pick one of those and give that some time this weekend.
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Wren is right about calling senior living places for references. When I visited one such place for a sales pitch, the free luncheon speaker was a sorting/moving service. Another place to check would be with people doing estate sales. Although some aren't interested unless you have SERIOUSLY expensive stuff, others are willing to work w/what you have & will do free estimates. Another idea might be trying moving/relocating help. Here's one:
"www.allorganizedpro.com". Their website says "All Organized was started as a way to help remove stress from people's lives as they move towards the next stage of betterment ..." Might give everyone some ideas.
Another one in Houston is called Blue Moon Antiques. They run estate sales, tag sales & auctions in the Houston area - as well as having a storefront location. (disclaimer - no connections & I've never been there, but heard good things)
If you still have a local (neighborhood) paper, there are usually ads there.
GoodWill no longer picks up in my area, however Salvation Army will still come to your door. They don't take TVs or electronics, Habitat for Humanity has resale stores and they accept lots of of different things besides building supplies. I take most of my good clothes either to Dress for Success or to the resale shop in my area that supports battered women. The latter has a basement (a rarity here) so they can store off season things until the months change. I have seen my things on the racks. Before Covid I donated most of my books to the local library. They held bi-annual sales to raise money for new books & etc.
But be prepared - much of the stuff our parents & grandparents treasured (and we hang on to for the memories) will just not move. NO ONE wants fine china with gold accents. The story is it won't sell because It won't go in the dishwasher & the microwave. I live in a big city with a decidedly wealthy area - but I couldn't even convince anyone to take it on consignment.
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My decluttering plan for the weekend is to set up an organized decluttering plan for the summer. Public school's out, so I am FREE! Taking the summer off to concentrate on my house and property and dog and myself. Decluttering and cleaning in the mornings, swimming, kayaking, whatever in the afternoons, personal school work in the evenings. One day a week off to be with Mom, a second day a week off just for me and Silly Sadie. I so hope to see progress this way!
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A local realtor may have a referral to a local service that helps with downsizing. A brochure for one was in a packet given me by one realtor I interviewed before DH and I downsized.
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Regarding the books, I could not bear to leave them by a grocery store, and I can't devote time and energy to rummage sales or to mailing a few at a time to buyers. I need to donate what I did not sell in one or two mass donations. And I have other kid stuff, too. So I will try asking some people who have connections with local schools. I emailed some folks I thought would be interested and got no reply, so not sure what to do there.
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