Not quite a horder - decluttering
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Great quote Devine. That's why I'm hanging pictures on the newly painted walls in my mostly empty house. I can sit on my new carpet and survey the peace. I'm in no rush to unpack any boxes. Actually from what little I've done I already have 2 more full boxes for Salvation Army.
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Will probably have 6 bags and a few boxes to put out for the pickup on Thursday. DH even got into the spirit and will donate a bag! 😊
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DivineMrsM -I agree with that. Your surroundings do affect how you think and feel.
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Hello ladies- well my neighbor who has been not aging well in to her home had a bad fall and broke her hip and some other things about six weeks ago and now the house is getting cleaned out and sold. She has been unable to keep up with her property for awhile and the landscaping has mostly died and the family had told me she was a hoarder, and fought them on moving even though there have been previous falls and other issues. I have been watching this for six years now and it played out a lot like it did with my mother. The garage is filled top to bottom with stuff and they are doing an estate sale and offered me anything I wanted to just take as they know I have helped her a lot in the past. I am taking some gardening things as I need some new loppers etc. but don't need any more stuff!
What this did for me this weekend though is I finally finished a garage clean out project I started last summer. Threw out a bunch of things to recycling and also just in the trash. We have to keep purging all the time so when our time comes to maybe move into something else, we can do so without all the stuff.
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Jazzy I love that you took what you needed from your friend's estate and left the rest! It can be tempting to take more than we need in those situations. We are back from vacation and ready to keep bagging and donating. I was pretty restrained with vacation buying.
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Jazzy, Reader,
sorrowful time. Reminds us not to hoard and to keep up with the purging.
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Jazzy - what a good reminder to keep going with getting rid of things.
My DH finally got rid of his old bicycle. He’s had his new one for a couple years. But yesterday he took the old one to a bike shop that fixes old bikes and gives them to people or kids who need one. Hooray!
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GoKale, I bet your husband felt good about donating his bike to a worthy cause.
We had a houseful over the 4th of July weekend and afterwards, it made me feel good to know how nice it is to have a decluttered house. It made me realize I have extras of the right things, like blankets and pillows because I had enough of those to go around; my maternal instincts make me want to make sure everyone gets a good and comfortable rest while here. The stash of paper plates and cups, ect., were enough that I didn't need to buy more and the few extra baking dishes came in handy for desserts. Plus, I didn't cringe when people scattered to all corners of the house because it was tidy enough. When all was said and done, it was simple process for dh and I to get the house back in order and things put away. When it goes like that, I don't mind having people in.
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DivineMrsM, you have reached the pinnacle I aspire to: Extras of the right things, house tidy enough, simple to get the house back in order.
I'm constantly juggling my energy budget.
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ShetlandPony, it only took 30+ years to get to this point in domestic godess-dom! It's also something that needs monitored from time to time. During the pandemic, things piled up a bit. We managed to address the matter this spring by giving some furniture items away, selling a chair for dirt cheap, donating a few bags of stuff and tossing miscellaneous stuff. It made a difference because the house was feeling over full but couldn't really be addressed while Covid was raging.
There's a certain frustration because much of the cluttery stuff that remains belongs to dh. I wish he'd go through his garage and declutter, and there's a spare closet filled with only his clothes, most of which he no longer wears. He doesn't take on full blown hoarder traits because of me, but he maintains a certain amount of pack rat mentality. When we married years ago, he had a 13 x 6' room scattered knee high with papers and boxes. When I say papers, I mean things like old birthday cards, half-written song lyrics in notebooks and goofy pencil sketches jumbled up with the deed to the house, tax forms, his birth certificate and divorce papers. Absolutely no organization at all. It took me putting in an hour here and there over a few months to sift through everything; the important stuff condensed down to a couple of small file boxes. So the signs were visible!
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I dropped off my three bags of stuff at Goodwill the other day. Including the wig I got before I discovered that hats are better. In going through stuff before that, I put stuff in garbage that I would never want, and others are unlikely to want. I graduated form leggings to "old lady" elastic-waist jeans. And from dresses to sari skirts. Some of the skirts I got as blind purchases, five at a time for real cheap, so a selection of those went into the bags.
I am truing to pace the outgo with the intake. I really don't have that much as a result of some personal losses. And those just told me that material possessions are not what makes a person a person.
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Did a walk through with our realtor today while he told us what he thought we should make magically disappear. Gonna take some magic for sure. He thought we should get rid of about 2/3 of what we have. He's probably right, but the prospect is really daunting. He said it was ok to put boxes in the garage, especially stuff we'll move in the end anyway.
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Wren, when DH, Kid, and I downsized we had to rent a storage unit to make things magically disappear. We could not purge in time to show the house. We had not felt well for a long time. Looking around the now lovely house, I wished I had been able to purge years sooner and live in and enjoy the space as it now appeared. We gave away things straight from the storage unit, and from the house once it was sold, and some things came to the new place. Then once we determined which things would work in the new place, I could not sell the rest and eventually much furniture went out for a special trash pickup. I gave a nice item to a fellow bc patient and another to a charity that serves bc patients, which made me happy. But it broke my heart to see my favorite and expensive down-stuffed chair go out to the trash. Could not deal with reupholstering it and had no room anyway.
But happy ending, we love our new (old) smaller place and feel it is just right for us. I do still have my down-stuffed love seat and my beautiful antique cabinet. Now that I am feeling better than I did the previous year, I hope I can finish donating excess books and sort the many boxes of files and papers in the next few months, so we can live in this house uncluttered. If we were still in the big house, with all I have already purged we would be in great shape, but we lost book shelves and storage space as well as rooms, so I don't really get the full benefit of that work. It is daunting, but I put in a session on the papers today. Instead of cooking dinner.
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Wren - I like the idea of boxing up items you’re going to keep and putting it in the garage. So exciting about your move. Will you stay in the same city or relocating?
Shetland Pony- I am glad that you finally have a living space you can enjoy. It’s definitely motivating to hear.
Recently discussed moving to a different state only to realize we can’t afford my prescriptions on a private health insurance plan. But I also pointed out that we have so much stuff that we couldn’t possibly take with us. So my DH has started going through some stuff of his (work things he brought home when he retired last Fall). So that’s a good start. I have to work 6 years and 9 months more for health insurance reasons. So by then, maybe our very deep purge will be done. Though, I’d like to do it sooner and enjoy wide open spaces like Shetland, and others!
Our daughter has one more year of college (fingers crossed she will then get a permanent job with health insurance). So we need to wait at least until then so we can decide if she wants any furniture. She also has a closet full of things that I doubt she wants (maybe 10% she will take with her).
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My son swore he had removed all his belongings from our house. We believed him until he stayed overnight and we had to hunt a blanket for his bed. There, along with the blanket which belonged to him, were all the newspapers from his high school, a year book, etc. We had a good laugh.
DD and SIL live in the next city to the north. She wants us to be closer to her since we're getting on in years. I think DH has Alzheimer's so being closer is probably a very good idea. Yesterday he plugged in the sonicare base in his study, but not the handle. I asked him where it was and he didn't know. I found it and added the handle to charge it up. That's the kind of thing that's going on. It might not be Alz because he doesn't seem to remember the past any better.
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I have an interesting summer project. A friend of mine from grad school days (circa early to mid 1980s) had asked me in a card last year (birthday or Xmas) after she retired if I would like all the cards and letters I sent her through the years back returned. I thought that was interesting question, but do know from other friends when we talk about decluttering, letters, cards, etc. are something people really have a hard time letting go of. Because I have lived in a few states as well as abodes (apartments, homes, etc.) through the years, I have moved enough to just easily let those things go into recycling. I had some nice cards from folks after my SIL passed recently and kept those up until the services were over, then recycled them.
Anyways, in my return note to her with the question, I told her she should just recycle them. But tonight, I found a small package of a stack of cards, letters, and also some photos I have sent her through our friendship. Now I am interested! I think most of them date back to when I moved here to NM in 1996 but looking for some from the years before that too. Like the journals I have kept for decades, it is fun to sometimes go back and read what you wrote, what mattered then, the things you talked about or didn't, even events you have long since forgotten about that felt oh so important at the time.
She wrote me a nice note to say she hoped I didn't mind having these returned back to me, because she actually has a hard time throwing these out. Sounds like my friend is decluttering now in her retirement time. She also wrote a nice note to say how much my keeping in touch through the years throught these card and letters has meant to her. She has never been one to pick up the phone, e-mail much, or do social media, so cards and letters were our way of staying connected through the miles. We have seen each other a few times since then too when we were in each other's part of the country. Now I have some letters to read and will recycle them one done (but probably keep the pictures).
Oh and she sent me a photo back of a really cute guy I dated from the Air Force when I first moved here. Hubba hubba!
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Jazzy, that was so nice of your friend. Yes, it will be interesting for you to take a walk down memory lane narrated by your younger self!
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My mother's letters were saved by her Mom and her brother. I felt like I got to know her reading them (she died when I was 4). It also explained some mysterious things that Mom (GM) gave me. They were things she wanted. I don't know if Mom was confused or just thought I would like the same thing.
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Jazzy, that sounds like a fun project to read those letters. It will also be fun to see how times have changed even just since 1996.
Wren - that's something I never would have thought about - saving your mom's letters so that you could read them later. How fortunate they were saved.
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Reading this made me wish I saved my cards/letters. I do miss getting letters in the mail. I don't think people write letters anymore, it would be so nice to get one in the mailbox instead of all the junk mail.
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Mistyeyes- I love getting cards and letters in the mail. I love birthday time and Xmas time just for the cards I get vs. the other stuff, now mostly requests for donations to charities since all the bills are on line. I am going to write a short story about this set of letters as I think there is something very worthy and important about what we share about ourselves in letters and cards. It's a glimpse in to our lives at discreet points and perhaps from a differen perspective (vs. things I put in my journal or that rattle around in my head).
Yesterday I dropped off another four bags of stuff to my fav thrift store, including some things from my home office set up when I was self employed that I don't need anymore. Perhaps a newer entrepreneur will find handy? I am taking in a bunch of jewelry to consignment this weekend too (that will bring some cash).
The estate sale for the neighbor's home is this weekend. I tell myself stay away, there is nothing you need Jazzy.....
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I still write letters. Mostly thank you notes etc. One friend in Florida and I have always written letters. We've never transitioned to email, text or even phone. Just good letters - typed though.
Mistyeyes you gave me an idea -- I have a college roommate who sadly passed away at 42 years old when her daughter was just 3. I have all her old letters. I think most would be charming for the daughter to have. I intend to go through them and gift the aappropriate ones to her after asking if she wants them. My friends was artistic as well as a good letter writer (decorated/doodled letters). I believe it will bless her daughter. I really appreciate the idea.
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I lost a friend to cancer shortly after the birth of her second child. I wrote a letter to each of her children about their mother, our relationship and what a wonderful person she had been. Each was personalized by a story about their mother concerning them. Since it was not from a family member I sent them to her mother asking her to decide whether it would be appropriate to give them to the children when they were old enough. I left them unsealed so she could read them to make the decision. I thought it was important for them to know their mother from a friend's perspective. I never heard from the son but the daughter contacted me to talk to me about her mother. Since she was only about 2 when her mother died, the only memories she had were those of her family. She thanked me for the letter and asked if she could keep in touch to ask me questions as they came to her. We remained in touch a few times a year for a few years. It was really nice to know her and that her mother would have been proud of the woman she became.
So if you send the letters which would be a wonderful gift, please offer to let her contact you about your friendship. She will most likely have questions that only you can answer.
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I'll be turning 60 in a couple of months and I want to live that decade as a minimalist. My late husband was boarder line hoarder. He had his own business and mostly pipe, fittings, tools, painting supplies, you name it, he had 10 of everything. The first thing to go was his work van. My son took it because when he died, it was freaking me out. There's 2 sheds. I'd like to just rent a small dumpster and separate trash from what we can take to the scrap metal yard. I kept some clothing items. All his work clothes got trashed. It's so strange not using my basement for entertaining anymore. I'm only down there for laundry. The table has a collection of items that will work at the bay cottage whenever it gets finished. I really don't need to buy anything, which is nice. The stuff is starting to get on my nerves but I know it will eventually have a home. I used to can. No idea what to do with all these dang mason jars. Drinking glasses? A few I'll keep. I'm not real crafty or patient enough to make anything with them. I love throwing things in the dumpster. Especially if it's broke or hasn't been used in a year. After the basement, I do have a lot of cards. They are hard to get rid of. Also, the photographs. Good God. I would love to sort and put them in books. Not sure how expensive that would be, or what other ideas for all these photos?
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The canning jars---- if there are any Amish or Mennonites around where you live, I am sure they will appreciate them.
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Yes there are Amish near me. Wonderful idea MCBaker, thank you!!
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ctmb, I had stacks of photos as I was a picture taker decades before cell phone cameras. Seeing the large piles grow drained my energy because I never had time to put them in albums. One day I let go of the idea that they needed to go into albums and put them all in photo boxes. They fit into 4 boxes which are easily stacked in a cabinet. I even took photos out of 10 old albums, put the pictures in the boxes and tossed the albums away. I kept 3 albums intact. It was a big relief.
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Devine - do the photo boxes have any sense or organization? Or do you just toss all the pictures in them. Maybe grouped by years? I have like 40 albums I need to go through - and that's only before 1992. After that everything is still in the envelopes from Eckerds (CVS) in huge moving boxes. I'm leaving it for my next to last project since I think it will be the hardest.
Last project will be letters saved from people over the years. I used to wish my regular correspondents had saved my letters, but for heaven's sake - I'm not John Steinbeck or Jane Austen. It would just be more stuff to go through. My mother saved letters too - and her mother. I actually have the letter my Mother wrote to her parents in 1944 when I was born - and the letter they wrote back. Of course no one phoned in that day & age - but maybe there's a 5 word telegram somewhere since I was the first grandchild.
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Minus Two, I have letters written in the 1940's and clearly the mail was a lot faster then. My mother could write her mother on Monday asking for something. She would receive it by Friday when she wanted to wear it. My mother was in Calif. and her mother in Kansas.
I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by the amount of junk that needs to be gone through. I've spent a week packing up my art supplies and I'm not done yet. Books are so darn heavy that a box full is too much to lift. I finally started putting linens in with the books so I could lift the boxes. Of course that meant using more boxes. Yikes! Where will it end? I can't believe how many paintings we have both framed and unframed. And there are two really nice ones I haven't seen yet. No idea where they might be.
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Are y'all still decluttering?
I was not for a while, but I've started up again.
I started small, with a button collection. I purged about 1/3 of the buttons, and consolidated the rest. Then I went through three stacking drawers.
Then I got my kiddo to empty all his drawers and closet with me, and we went through all his stuff prior to the start of school to see what still fit and what it was time to pass along. And we didn't just do clothes, but books, and toys, too. That was awesome! Passed two full bags on to a neighbor with two younger boys.
Tonight I took everything in our neighborhood Lost and Found -- which was overflowing -- and put it out on tables in our shared space, sent pics to the community and said, come claim your stuff before Saturday, because at the stroke of midnight Friday, your stuff on these tables becomes giveaways!
What I've been avoiding is my office. I need to work on my office. I think this is the week I have to start in on it!
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