Not quite a horder - decluttering
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oh, Blessings!! What a mess you all cleaned up!! What a ton of work!! Glad you were able to clean up everything (old food??? yuck!!) so that he can live there again. Wish I had some extra energy to fax you.0 -
Blessings, Oh my! Going thru the depression made hoarders of a lot of people. When my GMom was in hospice, she had us go thru some things in the garage. She had clothing that had belonged to my mother who passed in 1945. That was 38 years! I outgrew her in the 6th grade, so GMom can't have thought I would ever be able to wear any of them. My GDad kept buying cases of canned peaches and kept them under his bed. He finally stopped when we promised him he would always have all the canned peaches he wanted. From what I've heard, DIL's mother is a hoarder. Her father just died and I'm wondering if she'll get worse.
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Blessing- my heart goes out to you, sister. What a time of it you have been having helping those with hip fractures, surgeries, and all the rest. And the story about the house......
I firmly believe that those who grew up in the depression era kept everything. Many knew families went through such enormously hard times. My father's family went through it bad and as a result, he kept a stockpile of canned food in our basement that would have easily lasted our family 6 months. When he had to move into a nursing home, my sister and I began doing projects to clear things out like that years in advance of actually having to clear the entire house out and sell it. All that food was really old and had to be thrown out when we finally went through it. I think my father was a sort of hoarder around some things.
I am glad you got it all done but how hard for you. I am glad it's done and that your dad is home and has some in home care. Whew.
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Thanks, Glennie.... now that the caregiver goes over there, my workload is lessened quite a bit. I still do his medical management, though. I am slowly regaining my energy by sleeping late and doing nothing around my own house!!!
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Wren - I know it was the Depression that did it. When we went to my grandma's house in Kentucky, I noticed that she had some tiny, narrow stairs up to a second-floor bedroom in her poor little house. All the stairs were lined with canned goods, bags of flour and sugar, and other assorted items that she "might run out of"...
Sorry to hear that your DILs father just passed, and that her mother is a hoarder. The likelihood is yes, she will get worse. Traumatic events just seem to paralyze hoarders, making it impossible for them to make any changes at all.Your son and DIL are likely to have a big job on their hands in the future.
I wish them the best....
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Jazzygirl - both my mom and my dad went through really hard times back then, too. I know they learned those habits from their parents.
I got to do the same thing (cleaning it out early, before she passed) with my mom's house when she went into a nursing home. At first, I kept it for her - "as is" - to give her the motivation to get stronger and come home after a hip replacement (what is it with all these broken hips?) and an emergency quadruple bypass. But by then she had end-stage Parkinson's, and she never went home again.
It's funny - I had such a hard time packing up her things, even though, or perhaps because she was still alive. Everything I touched had a story, and I got so stuck sitting on the floor reminiscing, I barely got anything done. Finally, DH asked "Do you want me to finish this?" and he did. Whatever was in a drawer, or on top of a desk, or squished into a closet, he just shoved into boxes, labeled them however he could, and then we rented a mini-storage to put all the stuff in.
Later, when we bought a house with a big garage, he went over and packed up all her things and stored them in our garage. Every year, I would go through boxes and realize how much could be donated or tossed. Now I just have a few special mementos. Again with the Peter Walsh quotes - "Those THINGS are NOT your loved one." It just took me a long time to learn that.
Fortunately, DH already feels that way. There are one or two things of Dad's that he wants, and his sisters have indicated they want some things.
He's the Trustee and the Executor of the Estate, and the way the will is made out is that anyone can take whatever they want, but the value will be deducted from their share of the inheritance. So when Dad goes, we call in an Estate Sale company, have everything priced, and offer family first dibs, and whatever they pick will be tallied up and deducted from their proceeds.
The Estate Sale company will sell what's left, gather up anything unsold that can be donated, take it to a charity, give us a receipt, then call in the trash removal company to get rid of the trash. Fortunately, oldest SIL wants the house, even though she may have to ADD money to her share of the estate. This way we don't have to get it ready to sell.
Dad is our last surviving parent. We are happy that he is doing as well as he is, and we're happy to make him a safe, comfortable home for his last few years on earth. Now, if we could only be sure someone will do that for us!
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Blessings- we went through a real grind at the end with our parents house too. My sister and I were able to get a lot of things done every time we went back to visit our mother (otherwise known as the "working vacation") years ahead, but it was still huge when she became ill and could not go home. So much to decide about. I took less than my sister did, as I had just built a new small home and knew I did not have room.
Now some 10 years later, and three years after our mom has left us, I am going through some of those things and trying to decide what needs to go. Your comment about "those things are not those people" are a good reminder for me. I have a lot of pictures I took from the house, some which she painted (will keep those) and some which she bought and just loved. I am going to pass some of those other ones along that just don't have sentiment value. I have other things to go through as well, but now feel down the road a bit, I can ask the question as to whether it still feels special to me or needs to go. That is the hard part I am saving for the end of this big 10 year purge.
And who will do this for us? My sister and I, neither of us whom have children, have each other for the "what if" right now, but I am going to have my attorney settle my estate and do an auction otherwise. Because we both got cancer the same time, we have had lots of conversations about this. It is good to talk up front with anyone who you need to help with things. We had power of attorney and all the rest when our mom got ill so we could just take over quickly when we had to.
I hope everyone here has a great day and be safe if you are back east and facing that blizzard.
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Progress report to date:
- 3 bags of linens including sets of sheets, towels and 3 comforter to the shelter that helps women and children who have had to leave abusive living situations. They told me they had three women moving into apts the following week, and it made me feel good to know they would all have things for the bed and bathroom, including a comforter for each woman.
- 1 old laptop to the computer store for recycle
- 20 items to the consignment store for resale
- 3 suitcases and 2 backpacks to the other women's shelter
It's been a good week of purging so far!0 -
Spent another week going through things and getting more out of the house:
1) Took some pictures and some other cool, fun house hold decor items to a nice home consignment shop. She only took 4 things, but now that I know more about what works and doesn't in her shop, I will know what to bring more of next time.
2) Took three more bags to one of the shelters I brought the luggage to last week, including women's clothing, shoes and purses. I heard a nice story today about my luggage too. Apparently one of the women there who is trying to make a living selling pottery uses one of the bags to wheel around her pottery to different areas where might be able to sell them.
3) Took a box of costume jewelry to my clothing consignment store, along with some purses for resale.
4) Invited a friend over to take a few things I wanted her to have, including a beautiful framed picture for a new home she plans to buy soon.
I am getting down to the last of what I need to do with this clean out! Ready to be done with it so I can just enjoy the house!
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Well I took a little time off. My boyfriend has been having migraines from the cold here...he is from Ca and decided to stay for the winter. I have also been really dizzy and no end in sight. Today I got up and decided to try some more downsizing. I keep going through my closet and getting rid of stuff. I have 2 more bags ready to go to the GFoodwill. I have not parted with all my bathrobes yet. That was a collection from hotels I stayed at while traveling. They all look alike. I have 10. Need to get down to about 3. Really did not believe I had so many same type jeams. For some reason it feels good to see an empty closet. Winter stuff is down to a nice size now on to the summer stuff. By the way the temp here is -9 with a windchill of -16. Hurry spring.
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Bunkie- take your robes to a local women's shelter. They will go to help the women there who leave their homes sometimes with their clothing on their backs. I find that if I am having a hard time letting go of something, finding a place that needs it more than me helps me to feel better about passing it along. Those women can really use our help!
I took a load of rug materials and a ceiling light to the Habitat Restore today. That has been in the back of my car for weeks!
Next is to find someone to help me move a big TV set out of the house to get to the curb for donation to Big Bros/Big Sisters.
My purging continues, just not as hard and fast as it had been. Got a ton out of here and a bit more to go......
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I keep having dreams that I'm living in an uncluttered house. It's encouraging to see how much I like it in the dream.
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Wren- when I did my recent renovation of the spare bedrooms, including one I converted to a space to read, do yoga, etc. (called it a Wellness Room), I visualized it for years before I finally did it. I cannot tell you how happy I am with it now too. Sometimes dreams and visions help us to create the better space.
Here is a pic of my wellness room:
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Jazzy, I love it.
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Someone said to me when they saw it "oh you painted it breast cancer pink!" Well, that was never the intention, as the room always had a lot of pink in it before. But I thought the room would be nice with pink and when I sit in there, I feel so good, soothed, etc. So it does the trick! I am heading to the wellness room shortly for a bit of morning meditation, reading, etc.
Been working on the garage storage to have better space out there to integrate things from house that need to be stored. Pics to come soon!
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Thanks for the compliments folks. I love the Wellness Room and use it daily!
More progress this weekend, I reorganized part of the garage where I was storing Xmas and other things to also incorporate some extra materials from the recent reno work for future needs. Donating some of the Xmas stuff as I don't even really decorate that much at Xmas anymore like I used to.
I also am working on my main closets and getting those in better shape and have a bag for some donations that will be going to the curb for pick up this week.
And I finally found someone to help me move a big TV out to the front porch for donation next week. Big Brothers and Sisters will take old TV's as long as they work, even if they are the old kind. Many places won't take TVs anymore so I thought I would share that if you are trying to donate any old Tvs. That is going out for pick up next Wednesday. More stuff going out!
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Hi Jazzy..... Yes, we have been taking everything to the "Treasure Trunk"... that's where women, and their children can go and pick out what they need, and it is given to them. Women can also go in there and purchase the items... It is run by the Family Tree... an organization that also houses kids taken out of their homes. When I worked for Coors, we collected a lot of things to donate, and took to this big house where these "kids" lived...
They were well taken care of, but just breaks your heart to see them all living together... trying to hold onto the little that they have...
It's better to donate, instead of giving this "stuff" to someone for a yard sale.... Ha! I love your Wellness Room.! I have my "favorite things" kind of all over the house.... But I keep that one whole area in the Dining Room for "his stuff".... Ha! AND the upstairs little bedroom! It holds everything we don't use downstairs...
That's NEXT... as soon as I finish the rest of the house... I just gotta go up there, and put things that I don't want along one wall, and then have DD and DH get it down-stairs! I'll take those comforters and blankets to the Treasure Trunk though...
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Jazzy - I like that room. Makes me relaxed looking at it also. I never thought about a womens shelter for the robes. Such a good idea. I mean how many white longer robes can you have from different hotels that look alike. What was I thinking? i settled on the one from The Tickeled Pink Inn in Carmel Ca. I did a romantic week end there once. The guy and I did not last long but it was a nice time. The rest can go.
I am now working on the summer stuff to donate. Shoes and stuff. I want it all gone.
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Bunkie- glad the recommendation helped! Those ladies would love those robes!
I have been working on some final de-cluttering. I finally donated my big old TV to Big Bros and Big Sisters last week and that is gone. Going to do another pass of spring things to the consignment shop and other things to the shelter. It's all a process......
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3 big bags of summer stuff is gone. Dropped it off yesterday. Now to go through it all again. Wow. I am sending my 2 non used Dooney Burke bags to my cousin. She is a purse hound. I am no longer into that. One beigh summer and one black winter. Both are totes. Ok I did keep the hand tooled turquoise with black trim one for some reason. Now on to shoes. There are about 30 pair of those.
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Go, Bunkie, go!
I stopped by my consignment store yesterday with some scarves to add to my spring consignment. Came away with some really nice designer stuff at a fraction of the price, some never worn! This is what I love about this consignment store, we are totally into a recycling of things that no longer work for me with being a smaller size, and I am able to get some new things on credit and for a fraction of the price. The goal is to come away with far less than you took there! I bet I have taken about 100 items there this spring, between clothing, costume jewelry, and scarves. I am now getting into my shoes and will take those in April.....
Bunkie, if your shoes are in good shape, you might want to take them to your local consignment store. I always have things that are good for there, others that are much more appropriate for donation.
I also got into my paperwork purge this week (the final frontier) and went through three container so far. What I found was that about 1/3 of it could go into regular paper recycling, 1/3 could go for shredding, and the final third needs to be retained/stored. I took a container of shredding to Staples yesterday (this is a great place to take larger volumes your home shredder can't handle) and also got a better storage container to put my biz items I need to store in all one place together.
Now to find room in the garage for that new biz storage container. Still trying to avoid getting an offsite storage bin.....
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Thanks for that idea. My shoes are almost new so yes I will go to the consignment store here. I have a dooney burke purse that is like new and my cousin wants that one so I have to mail it to her. I am so past all the shoes and purses etc now.
I have a big container that has all the paperwork from my mom and dad passing away. I am still in probate after 3 years so I have to keep it. This year I hope it will be done and I can shred it all. I called my designer friend for all the decorating magazines I had stored in the guest room. He was really happy to get them. I have let several subscriptions end.
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Bunkie- yes, I had to keep paperwork from the stuff associated with the sale of my mothers home, her healthcare, etc. for years. Since we are down the road on that, I could get rid of it. I found old tax returns from long ago too that I shredded. I keep personal records back for 7 years.
This weekend I went through some old client project paperwork from some contracts I did awhile back. I have to retain some of that info for awhile, but am past the three years with some of those requirements too. I still have most of it electronically with respect to the things that matter. Mostly notes and things I could get rid of now.
I took another 12 lb recycle container to shred at Staples today! Whoot whoot!
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Teka- yay for donations. Glad your legs are feeling better too.
I am still working on paperwork stuff.......
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Hi ladies- well, I set a goal for myself to clean out one container a week of something in the garage this week so I could a) determine if I need to keep it, b) consolidate items better, c) need to shred it, or d) do regular recycling of any other outstanding paper storage. I am proud to say I have completed 4 containers in three days and completely freed up 2 storage containers and threw out a paper box too! Got a few more to go. Then I should have space to consolidate some of the other things from the house out there next.
A box a day was a good goal as it is not too time consuming with everything else I have to do. I took two big containers to Staples for shredding end of the day today and my regular city recycling filled up about 3/4 with regular paper recycling. I have also found a lot of stuff I just need to throw out all together too!
Coming across some memories along the way, mostly good ones. One never knows what they might stir up with opening up something that has not been looked in for awhile, eh? I have some boxes of pictures to do at the end (consolidation into one good storage unit) and no doubt that will bring back memories.
Hope the rest of you are doing well with your decluttering!
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I two boxes down from the attic to find letters dating back to the 60's. I wanted to send some things to the daughter of a dear friend who recently died. In the box were the diaries I kept starting in 7th grade through HS graduation. For the most part I actually did write every day. Huge bunches of teen-age angst. Hard to keep reading but equally hard to stop. Some things I look at totally different as an adult and others that were SO important, I had totally forgotten. I also kept all letters from 3 friends - that would be 50 years worth. Sure glad we didn't write every day. One was a writer and I guess I was saving them for publishing for posterity. And I have sporadic letters from both of my parents, who are long gone. The two boxes are still sitting in the living room since the emotional toll is too heavy to keep going w/o a break. But i have decided this is a good thing to do and most of this stuff needs to be shredded before I die. I have one grown son who doesn't have children and he really doesn't need to read all this stuff - assuming he'd even consider it. Finding things that I'll send to various people to enjoy now (like one friend was the king in The King & I and I saved the program. This project will drag on through summer I'm sure.
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That's a good idea to send mementos to those involved. I've tended to write only when extremely depressed. I think I've found all those and shredded them. It took a long time.
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Ladies- I think it is a good idea to pass along momentos too. I have some photos of my parents with some of their best friends from when they were all in college together in the 1940s. I put those aside and want to send them to their daughter who is around the same age as me who also had daughters.
My sister and I actually started passing along family heirlooms a few years ago as neither of us has children. I think it is nice to give those to people while you are still alive and can share stories about the items.
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