For Older People with Sense
Comments
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SoCalLisa,
Great shot, thanks for sharing! Love the little bird! Is that a humming bird? The beak and scale is making me think so, but I'm a really rusty Auduboner.
Ta,
Hogwarts
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Hogwarts, yes a hummingbird. I think an Allen's.
Chrissy, I love my note 8 💕
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Egads007,
So glad to hear you are going to take care of your heart/mind now that your body has been tended to! Bravo!!! And as you so wisely said, you just might learn some things you can apply to the rest of your living skills. We all deserve the special care that only we can give ourselves if we allow for it. It's so easy for the busy-ness of life to take over (is this my own denial?) and not nurture my deeper self in ways my therapist has advised. Guess this is my final frontier of denial that needs to be looked at.
Sorry to get so philosophical, or whatever. I'm gonna blame it on the cat getting me up too early. LOL.
Cheers, Judy
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Hi Hogwarts,
I so admire your ‘let’s delve into me’ stance. It’s marvellous! Denial is not good, especially on an on-going basis. I believe it offers our unconscious fear and stress levels a cornucopia style full fat buffet to feast on, whilst all the while we think we’re doing just dandy (how’s that for philosophical? LOL!). However, in its moments I think that a wee bit of denial is helpful in keeping us sane and grounded. Call it the denial Coffee Break. The trick might be in being aware of it, admitting it, and facing it head on when we are able to cope with the reality of what’s deep in our minds. After receiving my call back mammo I started blubbering with heaving sobs while shouting at my husband “I can’t do this again, I don’t want to do this again!!!”. That was real and raw. Made me feel better to vocalize it to boot. I could go on endlessly about the subject, but I won’t subject you or the good folks here to it lol! I’ll just just keep on the self discovery track as honestly as I can, or like you when needed, blame the cat lol! Cheers!
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Hi Egads,
So glad you could really pour out your fear and have it make you feel better; yay!!! And thanks for reminding me that there are times when healthy denial ('reality coffee break'- I love it!) is healthy for me as well. I don't need or want to know everything. I'll give it a wink and a nod and then move on rather than empower the bogeyman. Kinda why I dodn't want to dredge out the huge notebook I was given at the hospital with all the 'stuff' in it about BC. Or why I didn't post my dx, etc, etc. on this site under my name. Makes it too real and I just want to get on with my life now that I'm 'clean.' Gimme cream in my coffee anytime, yum!
Ya, know what you mean about screaming and crying to the heavens. That's how I feel when the bc docs offices might accidentally show me worst case scenarios with printed appointment returns, foob Rx, etc, after they have told me all my tests and PE are good. I have to remember to ask them not to do that in the future. Otherwise, it's here comes the dreaded cliff again! I keep promising myself to move the appts. back, well before the Christmas holidays, so I can enjoy them rather than hauling myself back from the cliff's edge if that happens; it so completely spoils the holiday for me so that I'd just rather not do it. PTSD indeed!!!
Apologies to all for the rant. It so helps to share this with women who knows what that raw, primal fear is like. Thank you all so much for listening and being here! Shingles are better today so maybe this rant helped! Send me the bill for your services. ;-)
Big hugs, Hogwarts
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Maybe we get stoic after the initial scream.
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Nice to see the activity in this thread again.
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Welcome to Hogwarts and Egads! I look forward to getting to know you.
Lisa and Crissy, that's a great picture of you gals! I don't know everyone in it but I know the two of you and I love those smiles. Chrissy, you need to come back over!
Kathy
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Hi QCA, and thanks for the welcome!!!
Minus2, love your screen name!!!
Judy
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So sorry to have left everything hanging but I have been madly sewing. I was making an 'Owlette' costume for my niece for birthday which is this coming Sunday so had to get er done. This is want has taken me an age to complete along with a shirt, t-shirt and a mask.
Hi Kathy, long time no see! I'm definitely working on getting back to the USA to catch up with everyone again.....just not sure how I will do that logistically yet but a plan is formulating.....lol.
There is a really busy week ahead for me with family birthdays and a get together of the Aussie girls from BCO happening next weekend so I will be back and forth to the city.......I think I will be looking forward to a good rest when it's all over with......lol.
Love n hugs all. Chrissy
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Just lost another dear friend yesterday. She died from complications of heart surgery even further complicated by her metastatic breast cancer. She had a very rare kind that even MDAnderson couldn't treat. She lived nearby and was a sorority sister from college days. She earned her angel wings. 🦋🦋🦋👼💔
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Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry......condolences. It's never easy to lose friends, but one of that long standing with other close connections is doubly hard. Sending gentle (((((((hugs)))))).
Love n more hugs. Chrissy
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Lisa, So sorry for your loss. Hugs.
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Hi all,
Some encouragement please! Warm weather is coming up and I'm dreading it this year. Now, hopefully this year I'll get fitted with some cool and light foobs and not have to mess with the silicone any more, which I can't do in the summer because of the heat and humidity they trap! Ugh!!! So I went without last summer and told myself (denial raises its head here) that I looked fine. With the cool weather, I have been able to hide under layers.
But I don't feel fine!!! I wish I could get over this feeling so self-conscious but it is so hard and I've hit a wall and feeling down. Ya, I know, I'm healthy now, and the girls being gone took the cancer and all that, blah, blah, blah. But, I'm having a hard time with this self-consciousness bit and don't know how to pull myself up and out of this. I just want to feel and look normal. Pretty soon I won't be able to hide under sweatshirts or sweaters. Yikes!
Also, I'm not ready to wear something like this either, but had to share cuz it's pretty funny, and so true! I mean I don't mind folks knowing now, but I just want to feel like I look normal. I'm having a melt-down and this hasn't happened for some time, not about this, anyway.
Thanks for listening, encouragement and sharing.... Judy
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Hello, all!
Greetings to the newer members! None of us would join the club willingly but we are all in it together so we might as well make the best of it and have some fun!
I have missed everyone. Somehow this is such a safe haven for me.
When I was first on here I was in a panic and very jumpy over every little thing. But time and getting use to the way my world is now has calmed most of my fears. I try to focus on the good and just get through the rest. It's taken lots of therapy and learning how to care for myself and letting others care for themselves. I used to think I had to take care of everyone and everything. But I really can let so much go.
Hogwarts, I remember the first time after dx and surgery I put on a swimsuit and went to the Y to take a water aerobics class. I ran into a friend coming out of the locker room and just collapsed into her arms and sobbed. heart wrenching sobs. I shocked her and me at the same time. But it was so healing. And she just hugged me until I calmed down. Then I went into the locker room and changed into my suit. I soon found out that you really need to put your foob into the pocket provided in the suit or else it can escape and float around in the pool. ha ha I can laugh about it now. I also found out I was not ready for such a strenuous exercise class. If I am honest, I still am not who I was before my dx.
I am still in treatment for the chronic Lyme disease. I have a whole new group of friends from my Lyme Support group, but have yet to find such a supportive group as the women on this site.
Lisa and Chrissy, I so enjoy your pictures.
And it is so nice to be able to put a face with the names of women i have met here.
hugs!!
Nancy
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PS. I was about to edit again and then thought oh, just post again.
Lisa, I am sorry for your loss!
Chrissy, I bet that costume looked darling. A pink and red owlet! I love making things for people to wear.
And I will soon have a grandchild to make things for. My DD told me just a few weeks ago, a baby is on the way!
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Hogwarts, I had the same problem with the discomfort of wearing my prosthetic so I made a little pocket that had soft toweling near my skin. This served two purposes, one to keep the sticky, sweat creating thing off my skin and two, to make it more comfortable with temperature changes as it now always feels the same and my skin stays dry because of the wicking property of the towelling. This sort of thing may work for you as well.......just an idea.
Accepting the fact that we have breast cancer is never easy.....no matter how strong we are or how strong we think we are, body consciousness always plays a huge part in being able to get on with life. I look at myself in the mirror and I really don't like what I see......the weight gain, the one hung low, the scars.......in my mind I am still the same woman I was but the mirror tells me otherwise and often times, so does my body. BC brings a lot of changes and most often not for the better but there is one thing that I consider a gift........the ability to accept what, for most, is truly unacceptable. It is what it is, it is part of me now, like it or not I'm still here. I can enjoy the touch of the sun on my skin, the feel of the breeze as it rushes past me, the rustle of the leaves on the trees and the beauty that surrounds me on a daily basis. I laugh a lot, I stay busy, I am involved with life probably far more than I ever was as I don't let a minute go by with out noticing it. If something is bothering me I always now try to find a way to change it so it bothers me no more and just sometimes changes are not possible so I learn, in my own way, to live with it and not dwell..........acceptance........
Please don't think I'm preaching as that is not my intention.......I'm just trying to give you some tools that maybe might help you to get passed your road block. The word acceptance is of the utmost importance as without it nothing can be achieved.....we must accept before we can change.
There is always support here for what ever is ailing you.
Nancy, it's lovely to see you! Oh no! Still dealing with the Lyme.....really? I really don't know much about it other than it gets passed on through ticks that feed on the deer...yes? We almost never hear of it here in Australia as deer are not native here and there are very few deer herds as a meat source. How is your house? I'm presuming that after all this time you would be well and truly settled.
This is a pic I took when in France.
Enjoy your weekend!
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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I love the picture Chrissy. You really said so well what I too have experienced. Thank you.
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Hi Chrissyb,
Thanks for your thoughts. It was a dark-night-of-the-soul time yesterday and a reminder of what happened. Hadn't been to that particular 'place' before and just wanted some relief, but these are times that we must live thru to get to the other side. I didn't feel your words as 'preaching' at all, just reaching out to offer whatever comfort you felt you could give, and I so much appreciate that!
Having Shingles on top of the image issue didn't help, though I think the Shingles are finally, thankfully, subsiding. Fingers crossed. While I'm not sure what kind of toweling fabric you mean, unless you mean real towels, that's a thought, though any kind of texture can be an irritant after time, no matter the weather. I have jury-rigged some cotton bras so that only cotton touches the skin and that helps, but haven't tried that in the summer, yet. Even my size 2 silicone forms are heavy enough to keep the fabric away from my chest so that the only thing that I feel is the covered elastic band. Less contact in this case is better!
I guess since coming up to 3 years post dx, I was weary of having this life-changing event always in the back of my mind. Usually I don't think about it that often, but sometimes it stares me in the face till I can't (nor should I) look away. Yesterday it really took me by surprise. So, it was time to go 'inside' to see what I'm supposed to learn from this experience. And that's not ever a bad thing. It hurts, but thankfully it doesn't last forever.
So, thank you all for letting me feel sorry for myself and offering your support by being here. We are amazing warriors and women [Wonder Women? :-)] who know what it means to go thru what we have experienced in a way no one else ever can. So, thank you for your reassurance.
Hugs to all, Judy
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Hogwarts, I used an old, soft wash cloth as the part that touches my skin so I get no irritation.
This is a pic of it. The other side is just a piece of light skin colored fabric that I had. I slip the prosthetic inside before placing it onto my bra......oh, I just wear ordinary bras not the pocketed ones. Hope this give you a better idea.
We all have those down days wether we are 3 years out or heading for fifteen (from original dx) as I am but you have the added bonus of shingles which in itself is just horrible. Hopefully you are over the hump on that and well on way to it having run its couse.
Got to get moving as I'm heading for the city and one very excited little girls birthday party. I'm sure I won't have any trouble convincing her to put the costume on so I can take a picture to share with you all.
Love n hugs all. Chrissy
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Chrissy,
Thanks for the photo! Added bonus that you have a serger; you are one serious seamstress! I guess the fabric keeps the pocketed form from slipping out of the bra? You are one clever girl!!! Now, when I get my bobbin tension squared away, I can see I have some sewing to do!
Can't wait to see the little one in your amazing owlet costume. Have fun!
Judy
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Judy, excuse my chemobrain, but did I tell you about " skin" you put it on over the shingles or sensitive spots to make an extra layer to buffer your skin. Bicycle riders use it so no blisters but it helps my shingles and after shingles nerve pain. You apply it like deodorant sticks.
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The party went well and the birthday girl was very happy with her costume. Best of all, it fit!!
I have eaten everything I shouldn't and now I feel like the proverbial snake who over eats and needs to curl up for a nap to digest........at least for the next eight hours that's me.......lol.😊
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Chrissy - all I can say is WOW!!! You are amazing (already knew that) and so talented. Hugs, Karen
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love the outfit!
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The costume is just amazing!
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Hi SoCalLisa,
Yes, you told me about that product. Thank you again!
Since it would need to be applied on top of to where my 'girls' were removed, I want to run it by my doc before using it. This is the new formulation and it looks pretty good. This is what EnvironmentalWorkingGroup.com had to say about the old formulation. A few changes, but I want to make sure since EWG.com hasn't tested the new formula at this time. I'm just really careful about what goes on and into my body these days.
The torso shingles are good today, thanks! Judy
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Chrissy,
That pink owl outfit is just tooooo adorable. I'm gonna show my ignorance and ask if you have Halloween Down Under, or is there a special event she will wear the costume, or just for fun?
You are so creative!!! Judy
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Hi all!
Karen so great to see you here! It's been absolute ages!
Thanks for the cudos girls.......I do like creative things and sewing is just one. It's taken many years of practice and lots of failures to get where I can make stuff without starting with a bought pattern but I am still concerned that my efforts will fit properly if I sew for others.
I guess that's more to do with age as I used to love doing bridal and formal wear and used to earn quite well doing it. So I sewed for many people without thinking about it. I still sew for myself (clothes) as I'm such a funny shape that most store bought clothing has to be altered anyway......lol.
Judy, yes we do have Halloween down under but it's nothing like the celebration you have in the USA. It's only been in more recent years that it has been celebrated at all. Miss Evie (my niece) is just one of those little girls that loves to dress up........yesterday her costumes for the day were princess and owlette. ......lol. If I thought that the costume wouldn't get worn I would have told my brother try to buy one on line as this one was not cheap.......fabric here is not nearly as cheap as in the USA. (I found that out when I was over there) so just materials alone cost about $60 Aus so that would be closer to $75 US.
Well I have my regular docs appointment this morning then I will be heading home....yay!.....but I have some time to kill so I'm going to check out the new Galaxy note with a view to updating mine. This one gets what I call 'sticky' and is really starting annoy me.
Love n hugs all! Chrissy
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