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For Older People with Sense

chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

I have decided to start a new topic.  I invite all those who are looking for friendship and support in a place of peace and tranquility to join me.



  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110

    I hope everyone can just take a deep breath.

    We do not need all the stress.

    I love the picture, Chrissy.

    I am Valerie & am happy to meet you.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Hi Valerie nice to meet you!  Thank you for joining me.

  • luv_gardening
    luv_gardening Member Posts: 362

    Hi Ladies.  I'm never sure if 60 is "older", I sure don't feel old.  I started my family late so my youngest is still 18, attending college and living at home.  My eldest is juggling university and a full time job but he only has one subject to go and no exams.  He lives more than a day's drive away due to his job.  I think the boys have kept me young at heart.  I've never read the other "older" thread so I have no idea what you like to discuss so I'm jumping in blind. 

    Gorgeous photo of the light streaming through the black clouds Chrissy. 

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604

    hey chrissy, ya surprised me gal! how wonderful, another thread with us old(er) gals.. i know valjean, and sheila, i think you also know me from another thread. im just breathing deeply, like Val Jean said, and feeling quite liberated tonight..

     i have 3 sons (they are the jays) and two very beloved grandkids, whom i live for.. literally!

       the last month of my chem was spent waiting for my grandaughter to arrive, and i had just finished, and that was my reward!!!

       so, welcome welcome ladies, im so glad were here. thank you, chrissy, for starting a new, fresh outlook!   3jaysmom

  • anonymice
    anonymice Member Posts: 52

    Hi Chrissy!  I'm not older, or younger, - 46 - but I do really, really dislike stress and fighting on any bulletin board.  Not sure about what posts you're talking, but very sure I don't want to read it/them!

    I have taken up 'art' since I've been on chemo - I'm working on the third painting I've ever done.  It's so strange, one day in January I just decided I really wanted to get a paint set and an easel and a little student canvas - it's amazing how relaxing it is even to the *really* unschooled.

    My boyfriend says he's heard of steroids causing creative "outbursts" like that before.  Anyone else experience a similar thing? 

  • mostlymom
    mostlymom Member Posts: 378

    I am in my own little world & am looking for guidance, understanding, hugs, tears, the full range of emotions to help take me out of myself.  I can handle suggestions & advice - believe me, my mind is so open things are falling out all over the place...  I am still in limbo land waiting for pathology from my lumpectomy & node surgery last wednesday.  My daughter went through this at age 32 & is a 12 year survivor.  My mother went through this at age 50 & was a 34 year survivor when she was taken by colon cancer.  My brother passed away at age 70 with brain cancer.  It is a big monster in our family.  My docs still won't release me for work but I also know I'm not physically or emotionally ready for work yet either.  Just sitting in one spot spinning & spinning.  I'm looking forward to this new thread.

    Love, Martha

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Wow Ladies! This is great!  The Older in the title is only a guidline and the topic of discussion is whatever your heart needs at the time of  Lovely to see you 3 jays, PaminWV and Sheila.  Pam, I didn't take to the canvas with paints, but I did become obsessed with taking pics and I'm still obsessed with taking pics.  I tend to take thousands and after down loading and going through them, I usually end up with maybe a hundred.  My DH sees me on the computer and asks what I'm doing and the usual answer is, editing photos.  So now when he asks, I just look at him and we both laugh.

    Thank for the compliment Sheila much appreciated.  The pic was taken at a place called Wallarroo in South Australia.  I was facinated with the light that evening and there was a storm front approaching so thinks were pretty calm so a great time for clicking away.  It's good that your boys keep you young at heart.

    3jays, what a lovely gift at the end of chemo, a grand daughter!  Grand children are a special gift!

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Hi Martha, sorry I missed you.  You obviously posted while I was typing.  You are really in the worst part of this whole journey IMHO.  The waiting for answers is the hardest thing I thing I've ever done but believe me, once those answers are presented and your treatment plan is made, things do get better as you feel that you are resuming some control over your life.  Knowing the cancer history of you family is a difficult thing to always have in the back of your mind.  ((((((Hugs)))))) are coming your way, and please, do let us know how you get on.  Come often and just join in and ask any question you like.

    Peace, strength, love n hugs.  Chrissy

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737

    This oldie doesn't have much sense at this time but had a lovely evening with my brother from Australia and I had two glasses of wine. Can only drink one small one these days.

    Martha as Chrissy said waiting is the hardest part. Don't be too hard on yourself at present, its all consuming for you at present. You will get lots of support here.

    Pam hope you find a real outlet in your painting. Do wish I could draw but I have started writing which is fun.

    I agree with 3jays about grandchildren, love our wee girl so much and can't wait until the new baby arrives, now 5 days overdue.

    Big hugs

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Oh Alyson, I know it's a bit late in the day but I do want to wish you a Happy Birthday!  I hope you really enjoyed your dinner with your brother and two little drinks for a special occasion never hurt anyone.  Hope you had thre best day!

    Love n hugs.  Chrissy

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548

    Pam, how wonderful that you are now painting! I went to a place called Painting with a Twist where you bring a bottle of wine, then they set you up with a cnavas and paints and an artists shows you how to paint the example painting. It was a blast but Rembrandt I am not.

    Great thread Chrissy!

  • Good Morning Ladies,  Women with sense....that is what I need, nice calm women with sense.  I am starting think I am totally losing my memory and am hoping it is chemo and not just due to the fact I am 61.  Woke up this morning thinking Oh great, I forgot to use the prescribed eye ointment AGAIN!  It's not doing me a lot of good in the tube.  And I find I do the same thing with taking pills( or I should say not taking them)  more and more. Today is treatment day so I am going to ask the onco about this.  IF I remember to ask him and probably won't unless I take a list with me, but usually I forget my list. LOL. 

    I have been at this for a long time as you can see from my bio, but I still need support and advice and just a place to unload from time to time just like everyone else so I look forward to posting here. I have found that regardless of age or the Stage we are at, when it comes to breast cancer, we are all in the same boat.  Thank you for the new thread Chrissy. 

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Morning Marybe, it sounds like you are starting to need to leave sticky notes to yourself all over the place to remind you to a) add ointment to the eyes   b)  take medication on time   c)  remember to ask certain quiestions of your medical team   d)  come here for advice, a laugh, a cry, a discussion of any topic you wish.   Glad to have you Marybe!

  • dogsandjogs
    dogsandjogs Member Posts: 677

    I would love to join too.  I woke up at 3 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.  Not because I'm worried about my cancer (unless indirectly)  because I had a lumpectomy, decided to skip rads (I'm 75) and am planning to start Aromasin. So that is  being taken care of.

    No, I'm sleepless in So. CA because I went to the bank today to point out an error; they were reluctant to fix it and I was ready to cave.  But then I went on the Internet and proved that I was right. So I'm going to go see them today and point it out to them. And it is stressing me out big time! 

     I consider myself a fairly strong person; raised two kids by myself for 12 years, have run a dozen marathons, have had 4 or 5 surgeries (not involving cancer) and a breast cancer 28 years ago (plus the current diagnosis)

    So why now am I stressing out over every small thing?  It is as if my ability to handle anything, small or large, is completely gone.

    Any of you feel the same way?

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548

    SR, I think it has to do with the fact that you are early in this process. I had serious PTSD from diagnosis until maybe August. Couldn't sleep, lost a ton of weight, developed diarrhea, etc. I began seeiing a Licensed Social worker counselor who worked with me to destress and I am feeling fine now. Still skinny but I can sleep and my diarrhea is gone. Maybe a counselor would help. I only had to see her 6-7 times but I am so glad i did.

  • dogsandjogs
    dogsandjogs Member Posts: 677

    Thanks BarbaraA

    It helps to know I'm not alone feeling this way. 

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600

    Good Morning everyone.  I see a lot of people here I know from other threads and look forward to getting to know those of you who are new to me. 

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 1,466

    am I older? I'll be a senior citizen in a month or so.

    I applaud the 'women with sense'.  I don't know why people like to argue on the internet..  negative discussion is so prevalent here lately, or maybe I've just been here a while and am becoming in tune with it.  BCO of all places should embrace civility as a hallmark and I wish you all well.

  • Dilly
    Dilly Member Posts: 394

    Good for you Chrissy!  I've been hoping someone would open up a new thread, sans backbiting & bickering.  Shiela, Marybe, 3jays, Barb, glad to see you here. Hello Valjean and Pam.

    Marybe, the CRS virus is rampant - it's not just you, at all.  Sticky notes are my friend, at least until I learn to take them for granted and ignore them....hah.

     SBC, hang in there - Barb is right, the PTSD or "nerves" can be mind-numbing, with both physical and mental repercussions.  Then sleep deprivation can affect everything.  I got through it with talking to my PCP & getting some mild sleep aid for awhile. (besides all the eat right, exercise, etc stuff).  Talking to a professional may help you. Good luck at the bank - banks really don't want to admit their mistakes, do they!  

    Mostlymom I hope your path results arrive soon, and are good.  Waiting is so hard!  But this is already a good group, and BCO has many specific threads and many many fine women here to help you navigate this.

    Barb, you and I are both coming up on 1-yr post-dx; I look forward to our tenth anniversary. 

    For me, so far so good, blood work came back good and 1-yr mammos are next month.  Seven months in, I'm tolerating Arimidex ok  but I'll be glad to find out this year's DEXA results.

    We've had a crazy winter here including several week-long power outages (I live fairly "remote" in a small mountain town), and over 50" of snow plus 75" of rain.  We're pretty prepared, and have backup generator, but it was still a bit tedious. 

    Have a great day, all, and Chrissy thanks again for starting the new thread - might have known it would take an Aussie to step up & just do it.Wink

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Hi srbreastcancersurvivor you are very welcome.  I know you are feeling pretty bad at this point but that is perfectly normal.  As Barb has said, perhaps you need a little counceling to help you through this rough patch and of course, you can come here for support and love and any information that we can give.

    Hi Barb, good to see you.

    Hi Chabba, good to see you to.

    Hi Lostcreek, glad to see you.  We cross posted so I'm editing to add.  I thought it time to draw a line and call enough!

    Ooops, sorry Apple I missed you completely!  Good to see you.

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978

    Hi All

    I hope I am an older woman with "sense".  

    Sheila, like you I had my kids late so I am in my mid 60s with one daughter who is 22 and in her third year of university (she was a dancer for 2 years prior to starting university) and one daughter who is 25 and graduated from university in 2008.  Many of the others our age are grandmothers or even great grandmothers but I enjoy being a "late bloomer."

     Have a nice day everyone.


  • dogsandjogs
    dogsandjogs Member Posts: 677

    Marybe:  I get forgetful too.  I think it is because we have so much on our minds that we get kind of overloaded.  If I'm stressing about something I have to really pay attention to what I'm doing or I'll do dumb things like putting the garbage in the fridge and the food in the thrash can. Yes, I've done that. I have to take 6 pills daily and mark them on my calendar as I take them.  Even doing that, I almost took one of the dogs' pills one day.  It was a phenobarbitol so maybe it would just have relaxed me!

    Bottom line, I write everything down on my calendar. If I write on anything else I forget where I put it!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646

    Hi I am, as I said I would be.............Crissy , love the picture, wow what peace and contentment........I am so happy you started this new thread......For anyone who doesn't know me from the other thread....I was diagnosed on Feb.15th 2011.....I will be 76 years old on April 24th.  I had a lumpectomy on March 14th.......good node involvement....1.1cm tumor.......ER/PR + HER2-.......2mm margins 3/4 around....1.25..1.5 margin in a small area.......I went yesterday to my BS and he said no reason to go back in.....he is happy with the margins he got, so it is on to radiation after healing..........and them hormonal therapy.......So glad to see many of my friends from the other thread have jumped ship too.........Let's keep it friendly ladies we really need each other.......thanks again Crissy........hugs to you all.

  • dogsandjogs
    dogsandjogs Member Posts: 677


    I hope you'll keep us posted about your radiation experience.  I've decided to skip it, but if the Aromasin doesn't work I may have to do it.  Glad to see you on this site!!

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929

    OK, another Older Person here. I refuse to answer the question of "do I have more sense". Hmmm. However, I do enjoy positive discussions and generally refuse to participate in nastiness in various threads. I tend to try to stay away from arguments and contention in almost everything.

    Can any of us say we do that in everything, even if we do try?

    I'm 60 years old and another one with teenagers - my youngest is 17 and a senior in high school and my other teenager is 19 and in the army. They're not my only ones - I have 6 kids, the oldest 33 so I'm also a grandmother (of 6).

    And I doubt if I'll start too many arguments if I say that grandchildren are the BEST!


  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438

    Welcome Mandy and Ducky, great to see you here!

    Mandy, late blooming is good. I was an early bloomer and now have four grandsons the eldest of which is 15 and I don't turn sixty until December!

    Wow Ducky, that's great news so now it's just healing time then onto rads.  They are not so bad, but you do get fatigued so need to remember to rest.  Do you know which hormonal you will be on yet?

    Sorry Leah, we cross posted, but welcome and I'm pretty sure there will be no nasty here....ever!

  • JudyZK
    JudyZK Member Posts: 4


    I'm new to the site and this thread, it is good to read what is all so familiar.  I'm a 49 year old survivor, just finished treatment 6 months ago Smile  But what a journey.  Your questions and thoughts are so close to mine.  Today, I'm just reaching out, want to say hi, and hope, and love, especially for any sister in the midst of it all.  

     wishing all the best to everyone.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646

    Sr.breastcancersurvivor...........I will keep you will probably not be for another 4-6 weeks beause of the healing....Honestly I'm not so much concerned about the Radiation therapy as I am the hormonal therapy.........when I read the SE, it makes me kind of worried.....I already have ostopenia....some arthritis.....and a mild heart attack in 07, and some of the things I read are not good news..........I retired from Glaxo Smith Kline pharmaceutical company. 15 years ago, and I worked in marketing research, investigating pipeline drugs, new drugs, and older drugs, so I have seen all the good and bad that they can I hate prescription meds........Had I taken the cholesterol medicine when I was told too, I probablywould not have had the heart attack, but that is another story.........................I too am one who can't remember to take the medicine I should take......I even have a pill box with  all the days, and specific times to take them, and I still forget.  It has nothing to do with "bad memory", it has to do with putting everything else first....I am so looking forward to the next step...I just want to get this over with.

    Some of you ladies know my background, some don't.........for those of you who do, just skip to the bottom of this post.........for those of you who don't, here goes........I am a widow for 19 husband passed away at 57 from Pancreatic cancer.....I have 6 children..3boys, and 3 girls........the oldest is 53, and the youngest is 41.......I have 18 grandchildren ages 28 (twins) down to 10 years old.........2 great-grandaughters (twins) just 2 weeks old.......I live in a small town outside Philly called Drexel Hill...............I have a ranch home which I moved into 3 months ago after downsizing from a huge sons and son-in-law are builders, and they completely gutted this home and rebuilt it from the ground stairs, one floor....could not have happened at a better time, although when they told me it was a ranch I was not happy.......I am now...........I also have a home in Cape May Beach, NJ, which I love. ...Can't wait to get down radiation should be finished by the time we are ready to go.....

    I have to say for anyone who is just being diagnosed it is probably the worst time you will have in the whole far that is what it was for I told soon as I got the phone call to come back for another mammogram I panicked.......everyone tried to tell me "it could be nothing"........not me......I had myself over the toilet bowl, with a bald head, no matter how hard I tried to not thing negative thoughts..............I know that is wrong, I know I should have thought "hey maybe its nothing", but I couldn't, so I would be the last one to say "don't worry"........but as time went on, and I saw each doctor, and went through each step from the diagnosis to the BS, to the Radiation onc, and to the Oncologist (the last person I wanted to talk to)........things began to come together for me..........everything happened so fast before I knew it I was having the biopsy, then the surgery, and then the pathology...........I did get my pathology reports back very quickly...I had most in 2 days, and all in 3days........thank God it was good news, as you can see below, if you can call cancer good news.  It isn't.......So take it a day at a time (right).........I am a "prepare yourself for the worst" type of person, so when the news comes your not surprised if its bad..............but overjoyed if its good............Will I worry about this forever...............absolutely..............My son said "Mom not matter how this turns out you will worry about this"..I said "yes till the day they close the lid"...............but I will not let it destroy what life I have left...........I have a wonderful family...........i always knew they were, but this diagnosis has shown me a side of my children that I can never forget..........I never realized how much love and devotion one person could receive...........Well ladies I hope I haven't bored you with my story............just want to say to the newbies "welcome", you will love it here, and to our "oldies but goodies", hugs, and thanks for the support...

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548

    Welcome, Judy!

  • JudyZK
    JudyZK Member Posts: 4