Most women will get breast cancer, Its not a big deal anymore
Comments
-
I think I would have slapped her silly! Kind of shake her til her brain rattled and the shake her some more. What a moron!!!
Jan
0 -
OMG....what an insensitive clod. Hard to believe what comes out of people's mouths sometimes. I sincerely hope she never has to deal with BC...it is no picnic no matter what your prognosis. Others have said it and I will repeat, you are never the same. Perhaps this is true for any serious disease? I don't know, I only had BC and that is enough, thank you very much !!
Take care and know that we do not think it is "no big deal" and you can come here anytime for support.
0 -
I can understand the occasional flub-up/stupid thing someone says that was meant to be supportive, but what she said is just flat out ridiculous. Like you are a moron for thinking you have something terrible...hey, it's no big deal! Idiot. I learned a lot about what to say and not say after I miscarried...you hear all kinds of things from people who mean well but should really think about what words they choose. Things I'm sure I said to others before it happened to me, but will never say again! Don't give that woman the time of day, and if she says it again, tell her to stick it! And like it was said before, if you need a good laugh, (or hours of laughing, the thread is HUGE!!) stop by OMG they found a cure for stupid!
0 -
Just wanted to add my support to what everyone has already said here!! Looking forward to hearing more about Lowrider's new gig with the Teal Wheels. And speaking of gaining a new hatred for pink... I get to see the darn color every day when I go potty, now that I'm taking this darn Adriamycin. Wonder how many times a day I can roll my eyes without doing permanent damage? haha!! Rock on girls!!
0 -
As anyone who knows me can tell you this rarely happens to me, but I am SPEECHLESS!!
Some people are just truly unbelievable! Sorry that you have to deal with such an ignorant person!!
0 -
Another thing that leaves me speechless is when people stress the positive attitude as it relates to no recurrence, which then means I was negative and so caused my cancer? I know they mean well but it too leaves me speechless. Karen
0 -
That girl: Why don't you print out a copy of our "Angels" page and tell that stupid bitch why doesn't she tell all the loved ones who our "Angels" left behind to cry every day and night that CANCER IS NO BIG DEAL! Unfortunately, even in this day and age, not everyone survives bc. It is a daily battle of tears and praying for the strength to be one of the survivors! It amazes me how many idiots are still walking the streets! BTW, don't ever feel bad about shedding your tears. Be grateful that you are still here to shed them and then get up and fight this battle with everything you can throw at it!
0 -
sometimes i want to stand up and scream it's a big F'ing deal to Me and My family and friends! and if you can't handle biotch back the f off! going back to our regularly scheduled program now lol.
@lena - call me an instigator, but i totally want to hear your rant, lol. don't worry we have your back
0 -
How insensitive! I remember someone telling me, "I am so glad God is using you as a testimony." I wanted to punch to living daylights out of her. People are crazy!
Announcement: To all IDIOTS, breast cancer is a big deal!
0 -
People just don't know what to say. I suppose that person thought she was being kind by trying to downplay it, but OMG it is most definitely a BIG HUGE F&*$ING AWFUL SCARY deal! Not everyone gets it, and even if they did (which they don't), it is A BIG DEAL!!! Not a single day has gone by that I do not think about bc since my diagnosis.
I find little comfort in knowing that 1 in 8 women will get bc -- as long as women are still dying of bc it's still very very much a big deal!!!!!
0 -
I frequent another cancer website that has an active chatroom and believe it or not, in that chatroom, I definitely get the vibes that because I have breast cancer, as opposed to a few that have lung cancer, liver cancer, etc, my cancer is poo pooed. Especially poo pooed since I "only" had bilateral mastectomy with snb with no chemo nor radiation. Not to mention the horrible recovery time I am having with post mastectomy pain syndrome that I have been suffering with since 1/11/11. Many on here say how they bounced back so quickly from the mastectomies and tell others that they will bounce back just like them. It is not always the case, there are always exceptions to the norm and you never know which side you will be on or someone else.
0 -
This attitude breaks my heart. It's not just insensitive, it's ignorant. I could throw out a litany of issues with her statement, I'll stick to the ones that have made me so very sad about this disease.
I was diagnosed at 39. I am probably in permanent menopause, hot flashing my brains out. I did 4 rounds of TC, radiation (which was a horror show for me) and Tamoxifen for five years. And I am LUCKY.
Most young women get very aggressive cancer. Triple negative, HER2+, much higher stage. They die from it.
What makes me saddest is that it usually takes someone getting it themselves before they get real compassion.
And all the little details that seem like they don't matter matter so very much. I saw a photograph of myself from last year with long hair. I'm a strong minded feminist, and I enjoy my new look. But I almost lost it when I saw the photo. And I knew if I started crying, I would never stop. What am I crying for? The loss of youth, innocence, fertility...well, heck, I'm starting to cry now. What else? That there is a darn good chance this disease will get me in the end. 1 out of 3 still die from it.
Next time you get such a stupid reply from a friend or colleague, tell 'em to look me up.
0 -
Reading back through these posts,I think Radiant has it right. And in some ways, that is what I'm most upset about. I had to take a cold hard look at just how little people care until it is them we are talking about. Like a "best friend" who "checked in" during my horror show of radiation...and never wrote back after I told her I was doing terribly. That was five months ago.
Man, this post has really hit a nerve!
0 -
I believe anyone who plays down cancer has never had it or has never had to watch someone go through it.
Jules
0 -
WEEEllllllll, isn't she S-P-E-C-I-A-L?????
I totally agree the Pink squad has done a number on all of us. All sweet and pink and fluffy and lacy! Yep, that's breast cancer, alright. Screw'em.
And that goes to the "Think Positive"! people, too! AS IF, the cancer cells can tell if I'm thinking positive or not.
If you all want to take on the crowd of folks who believe as this co-worker stated, that it's no big deal, I will also begin a lline to the left and bring a shovel to hit them up side the head!
I know we all say we wouldn't wish this on our worst enemy, but , but, but, there has to be a special place on the Karma circle for bitches like that.
0 -
Yes. I threw her in the fire to save my soul. ACS called me to see if I wanted to run in an upcoming race...
Me: No. I'm unsure how I will feel at the time.
ACS: How about a friend or family member?
Me: No.
ACS: Would you like to donate?
Me: Would you like to donate to me? I have a huge deductible, co pays, days off work, I purchased tons of vitamins, I would like other alternative treatment, that insurance won't cover, I would like acupuncture, massages, organic fruits and vegetables, a maid and...you know what.. I need to hang up.
I am so freaking MAD!!!!0 -
I am usually upset by people wanting to call BC or any other cancer a journey. If this is a journey I want to get off and live life without going on it. This has been the biggest battle in my life and most people don't understand your sorrow from the disease. Everything they throw at you in treatment is Chemical, Biological , Radioactive , and Amputation. That is a description of warfare. I am at war with cancer. My sister passed away with colon cancer after a 5 yr. battle. Keep on fighting despite what others think. Today I am surviving but who knows if I will be tomorrow. It's never truely over. Bless you all!
0 -
Ladies...Thatgirl came on over to the Bonfire of the Goddesses thread and threw that, what ever you want to call her, into the fire.
From reading your posts...it looks like a lot of you need to come by the Bonfire of the Goddesses thread and do some purging. Trust me, you will feel much better once you do!
0 -
I love the Bofire of the Goddesses. You throw it in and it is gone. woohoo
0 -
I am sorry to say that some of this attitude comes from other survivors..a woman I know was diagnosed with breast cancer..before she even had any surgery(other than the biopsy)she was out with her daughters and friends buying wigs....she had four lumpectomies because she refused to lose her breast and finally had to have a mastectomy with immediate recon.She continued to tell everyone that she would have to have chemo and radiation.Her oncotype test came back with a very low number and she needed no further treatment other than Tamoxifen which she refuses to take as she had hot flashes.I was very very happy for her that she did not need to go through the hell of chemo.I am trying(and failing) with recon, have tissue expanders which are causing excrutiating pain and they are being removed.She told me to be tough....that I was being ridiculous,to suck it up.When I mention a health problem that is a side effect from the chemo,she tells me I am just getting old and it happens to us all....this from a survivor.........I am sure her family, friends and co workers all have the idea that breast cancer is not a big deal because for her,it seems not to have been.
0 -
Ok,.....................someone get here right now to Philly, and pat the "fur" down on the back of my neck............What the hell was that person thinking...........I have expressed some of the stupid shit people have said to me, like "how lucky" I was that it wasn't a "bad" cancer..........I thought No asshole, lucky is winning the Lottery, not getting cancer.............I'm probably gonna be tossed out on my sorry ass by the moderators for this post, or at least tol "clean up your mouth", but honestly I can't find nice word to say..........How about you moderators, "can you"....................How about the best part when you find out "your tumor was smaller.....no node involvement......good margins.......no chemo......and some other freak says to you "well that's good news, at least you won't have to worry anymore" ........almost like their sorry you got such a good report.......................People are sick, inconsiderate morons, and don't tell me its because .........they don't know what to say......................then say nothing jackass.........
Ok how about this.........I'll pray for you.......Oh I'm so sorry to hear that....................If there is anything I can do for you let me know..................what can I do to help................now wouldn't that make a lot more sense......................
Maybe we should make a list called "WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A BC PATIENT".....put it on our thread so we can all print it, and carry it in our purse to give to the idiots who see us and make a stupid comment. Ok, ladies..................any suggestions......................my first one is "Oh you got the good cancer"...............................hugs girls
0 -
By the way ladies I'm 76, and have met my share of idiots in those years, so excuse me for getting nuts over 1 more idiot...........My grandaugher would call it "your poopy mouth"
0 -
It's doable, but it's no walk in the park either. Everyone around me is supportive and treating me normal which makes me feel at ease. Sometimes people just don't know what to say that's when it's best to say nothing.
0 -
How about some input on WHAT TO SAY????
we are the ones who should know what to say BUT if someone comes up to us and says i was just diag.with bc what would your first words be.right off the top of your head???firend,sista,neighbor anyone.we are supposed to have the words.right.
0 -
This is what I would say.............I am so sorry..........I have BC too. It's scary, but if you have a computer go to breastcancer.org., and you will meet the most wonderful women who are just like me, and you, who will help you get through this news. I could have not done it without them, and the waiting is the hardest............I'll keep you in my prayers.
0 -
In 2007, 202,964 women were diagnosed. In 2007, 40,598 died. Breast cancer is the most common cause of cancer among women and the leading cause of cancer death among women in the United States.
Your co-worker is a f**king idiot. Write her off.
0 -
Ducky: Along with your well earned "poopy mouth" (to some others, not me) I think you also have a lot of wisdom in what you would say to someone else. There really isn't much else one can say unless we end up frightening them more than we mean to. With the truth should come encouragement to them to make it their dedication to fight with all their top guns to survive. BTW, I guess the Mods have never experienced bc or they certainly would understand any cuss words someone expresses when venting on here. You are not cussing a person, you are cussing a damnable, horrible disease which deserves to be cursed!
0 -
I'd first like to say that possibly your coworker was trying to tell you that you'll be fine, lots of women are, and make you feel better and not so frightened. That being said - it is a big deal it changes everything for the rest of your life!!! I talked to a social worker once that mentioned that because of all of the publicity that breast cancer gets the general population gets the idea that lots of women get it and most of them beat it - no big deal. She felt that the attitude that all of the hype about pink, breast cancer awareness.... etc... makes it seem just ordinary and does a disservice to those that are diagnosed with breast cancer. It is a big deal, it is scary, it's hard, and it changes your life! Lots of women do get it, every case is different and every women handles the treatments differently - the good part (if there can be one) about so many women with breast cancer is that we have a great support system out there to help us through this challenge. God Bless you and be with you through this challenge.
My brother told me when he heard about my diagnosis - "Oh, it's just another thing you will win at" I think that he meant that to be encouraging, but that's not really how it sounded to me. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
0 -
Thatgirl - Oh Hun - how awful, how stupid and how brainless!!!!! (((((())))))) to you!
Radiant - LOVED YOUR POST!!! Yep, that's their problem...
0 -
Ducky, you said everything I think and don't say out loud. You go girl!!!!!!!!
I've had to cut a few people out of my life. As much as they didn't know how to act/respond when I got dx'd. I didn't/don't have the time or energy to baby sit them and make them feel OK about my cancer. I'm still trying to do that for myself, 9 months later.
Jules
0
